INTRO: Adolescente

ADOLESCENTE

MIDNIGHT woke up in a dark room. Unlike when he was a child, he felt no fear as he tried to adjust his eyesight to see in the dark. He had become accustomed to this kind of life. This was nothing new. Every time his father would take him to a secret location to train him, he would be injected with something that would make him unconscious and when his consciousness came back, he would wake up in the dark room again, connected to an IV fluid, just like now.

Raising his eye to the IV fluid hanging over his head, the same question he always had been seeing the IV fluid popped into his mind. What is that? No one would tell him however much he asked. As if it was a secret worth guarding tightly with their lives.

But even though he wanted to know, he curved his curiosity. He had to be obedient. This was the only way to see his big brother frequently. The more obedient he was, the faster he could go home.

Based on experience, this IV fluid would be finished in a couple of hours. That means he would be alone in the next couple of hours.

He hated to be alone. He hated the darkness. But it was not like he had a choice. Whatever his father said goes. He did not want to go against his father to avoid making his father angry. His father was always right, after all. Without his father's guidance and training, he would have surely become a burden to his big brother, which he did not want to happen.

He had to train harder.

Training... Midnight recalled the kind of training he had been subjected to since he was a child.

Training to eliminate his fear of the dark, then training to see in the dark. After that, he was brought to a private hospital for something he did not know about and he would wake up like this in the dark. As he grows up, he had a faint idea of what was being done to him.

Midnight was uncertain, but it seemed like he was being experimenting on. What kind of experiment? He did not know. It was just a wild guess. Because after every hospital visit, he would be subjected to an inhumane training of strength, dexterity, and cognitive response in a special laboratory. Sometimes it would take weeks, most of the time it would take months to finish 'testing' him.

At fifteen, he still did not know what he was training for. He just listened to whatever he was told to do, because he learned at an early age that being obedient was the only way to see his big brother regularly. He just wanted to finish this training and go home. However, he knew that his want was not something he could have just because he wanted it.

Midnight sighed and closed his eyes. In the cold, dark room, the only way to escape was to recall his memories with his mother and brother. There were not a lot of memories, but it was enough to calm him down and make him alive, even in this dull, merciless dark room.

Yes. These memories are enough. As long as big brother stays with me, I will be the most obedient so we can create more memories.

Because of the way Midnight was raised, he remained naïve to a lot of things. But Midnight was not naïve to human darkness. He knew how inhumane a human could be. He experienced it almost every day. But even knowing and facing the darkness every day, he still wanted to continue, hoping to see a light at the end of this seemingly endless darkness. And it was all to see the warm smile of his brother and to continue a life with him.

One day, we will be able to visit mama's grave. Big brother promised me. Midnight was looking forward to that day. That was why he was still looking forward to his tomorrow, eager to see what tomorrow holds, even when his past and present were bleak.

The IV fluid finally ushered its last drop. Maybe because the IV had been emptied for a while without someone taking it off him, there was a backflow of blood into the IV tube.

There was a slight pain, but he just stared at it. Motionless. Just obediently waiting for someone to come.

Fortunately, less than an hour later, a person came and pulled the needle out of him callously after switching on the light, without care. Midnight did not wince at the sudden brightness or at the pain on his cubital fossa. He just watched as the man recklessly finished the job and throw him a glance.

"Done. Stay for ten minutes, then come to the laboratory one for testing."

Midnight just nodded and did not make a sound. The man left, and he was alone again.

He hated that feeling, but he endured and waited for ten minutes as instructed before getting up from the bed and going to laboratory one.

There, he was hooked into a couple of machines while he ran on the treadmill for hours, lifted the weights already prepared for him until he was told to stop and then a man he did not know entered the laboratory. He had a weapon on him and was ready to fight.

"Start the sparring." A voice from the speaker inside the laboratory one was heard by Midnight at the man, who just entered.

The people outside the laboratory one, observing the lab, called it sparring, but Midnight knew that if he did now win, he would die.

This was not a sparring, but a fight to the death.

And the fifteen-year-old Midnight had no qualms about taking a life. He remembered; he was just eight years old when he ended someone's life in this same laboratory. And just like that day, he felt nothing as he twists the man's head and snap his neck. No guilt, no remorse, and no hesitation. Nothing. It was as if he had no emotion. He genuinely couldn't feel anything as he stared at the corpse in front of him—the corpse of the man he killed.

Behind the glass wall inside the laboratory one, hidden from inside the lab where Midnight was standing motionlessly at the center, the head of the emotive experiment spoke. "Give his status."

One researcher answered. "No emotional fluctuation while killing. As if he was a machine."

The head researcher nodded, but he did now show a positive expression, knowing that Midnight estate right now was not in line with what they wanted to achieve. He said, "show him his big brother's picture."

One researcher nodded and with a tap, a photo of someone who resembled Midnight was shown on the large frame.

The moment Midnight's eyes landed on that photo, his emotional status on the screen drastically changed. As if his emotion was in chaos. The machine disappeared and was replaced by a vulnerable teen, who would be easily destroyed by a harmless poke.

From calm to chaotic. Just because of one photo.

The head of the researcher shook his head. "We've been doing this for seven years and the result is still unsatisfactory." He was disappointed again. "Just what is it that he couldn't let go of his brother? We already pumped him with so many drugs that could suppressed any emotion, but every time he saw his brother's photo, he would revert to his useless self again!"

"Maybe their bond is that strong." A researcher commented.

The head researcher clicked his tongue in annoyance before turning to his assistance. "Write this result in the report. And tell Lord Kelleon that distancing the two brothers are not enough anymore. We must drive a wedge between them, so we can exploit a gap in Midnight's brain and take control of his emotions for our research to have positive result. Our experimental drugs are working perfectly. Midnight is already a killing machine. We just need to get rid of his lingering bond and filial affection for his big brother."

The assistant nodded and noted it on her tablet.

Everyone in that room was a researcher and each of them looked at Midnight as if they're looking at an object, not a person. No one feels sympathy towards the boy standing dazedly in the center of the laboratory, staring at his big brother's photo. All they wanted was the success of the emotive experiment that could enhance soldiers by leaps and bounds, and the faster they severe all Midnight's attachment to anything and anyone, the better.

After staring at his big brother's photo for a long time, Midnight's gaze moved down to the person he just killed. He couldn't feel any guilt or remorse, but he felt fear.

If big brother found out how bad I've become, would he still play with me? But if I don't kill, I will be killed. I can't die. I have to survive.

He didn't want his brother to know. His big brother was the last person he wanted to see this side of him. These tests and the countless people he had killed. This was his secret. His big brother must not know.

"Go the laboratory two." A voice from the speaker was heard and Midnight listened without making a sound.

He was already familiar with this building layout and in a couple of minutes; he arrived at laboratory two, where his dexterity was tested.

Midnight spent hours in the laboratory two before he was told to go to laboratory three. His most hated test.

"Hello, Midnight." The woman doctor smiled at him amiably, but he only felt repulse by that sickening fame sweet smile.

No one in this laboratory was nice. Everyone was here to treat him like an object and test him however they could. He was not as naïve as the first time he came here.

However, he still smiled and greeted her back.

"You can lie on the couch comfortably. Don't worry. We won't take long, and you'll be reunited with your brother in no time."

Midnight obediently nodded and did what he was told.

A few minutes after he lied down, the doctor came over, sat on the stool beside the couch and then conversed with him in a low, magnetic voice. Like he was being lulled to sleep and he couldn't resist.

His eyes were closed, but his mind was awake. He could hear a soft, enchanting voice saying such ruthless words in a calm manner. And her words were gradually destroying the little optimism that what was left of him.

This was why he hated this laboratory. Because in this laboratory, he could hear the words he did not want to hear and did not dare to think about.

"Midnight, you shouldn't persevere so much. You're young. If your brother doesn't like you, so what?"

"No. My brother likes me." The 'asleep' Midnight replied.

"Really? That's hard to believe. Because if he really loves you like you claimed and not just in your imagination, don't you think he would be here right now, taking you away from all this?"

Midnight's mind swayed for a split second before becoming firm again. "No. He's just busy. That's why."

"Busy? Doesn't that mean he's doing something that much more important than you? If your brother really loves you, he will drop everything to come see you. But he wouldn't. It seems to me that he's not really interested in you. He probably thinks you're a burden. I mean, since your mother died, he had been trying to take care of you. And to take care of someone burdensome as you, it's probably hard for him. He probably wanted to abandon you since you were a child."

"No. You're wrong. My big brother will never abandon me. He promised me—"

"Promises are meant to be broken, Midnight. He's probably complaining about you, and you can't just hear him."

"No—"

"He doesn't love you, Midnight. You're a burden to him. The reason he's not here with you is because he doesn't care about you. He was just being forced to take care of you. But if given a chance, he'll abandon you. He never loves you. Never. And if he found out how many have you killed without remorse, he wouldn't even pretend to care for you. He will discard and disdain you."

Midnight did not reply to those words, but a silent tear fell from the corner of his eyes, satisfying the woman doctor.

Hidden in Midnight's heart was a little sprout of doubt toward his big brother. It had always been there since he was a child.

He doubted his brother's love. He doubted his brother's care. And he doubted his big brother's attention.

However, he only had his big brother. If he lost him, too, what would happen to him? So, he persevered in believing that his brother's love and care were genuine.

Every time they see each other, he could feel those genuine familial affections from his big brother. But the moment they parted ways, his brain that didn't seem to listen to him would always put doubt in every corner of his mind.

He couldn't control it. It always swallows him whole. Just like at that moment. He could say he didn't believe her words, but was that really the truth? When at the back of his mind, a part of him was nodding along.

'Your brother does not care about you.' From childhood to the present, Midnight would always hear those same words from everyone around him. No one told him otherwise. Except for his mother who did not keep her promise.

Those words had been ingrained in Midnight's mind since he was four years old. How could a fifteen-year-old boy, who had heard those words full of adult malice since he was young, extricate himself from such inculcation?

Hurtful words deliberately spoken to hurt a young mind again and again until it had been ingrained in every fiber of their being was nothing short of intentional brainwashing.

A premeditated attempt to twist a young mind.

And at that very moment, unbeknownst to Midnight, his mind had already been twisted more than he was aware of. He just didn't know it yet.

Inside the laboratory three, the words 'your brother doesn't care' and 'your brother never loves you' were spoken by the woman doctor so many times, making sure to ingrate it in Midnight's mind. It was the most important part of all the experiments and tests.

When Midnight woke up from his 'sleep', he couldn't remember anything that transpired in the last hour. It was like nothing happened. He couldn't feel any different in himself. That was why he hated this laboratory. He knew something was being done to him here, but he had no idea what it was.

And this would repeat for weeks to come.

"Our session is done." The woman doctor that he did not care to find out the name spoke to him in a kind manner. "You can go to laboratory four."

Midnight just nodded and did what he was told to do.

He went to laboratory four. The last laboratory. It was where he would train his body to fight, either honorably or despicably. This was the place where he was trained to take a life in the most efficient way.

He trained until before midnight before he was taken back to his room.

As usual, he was not allowed to turn the lights on. The room remained dark as he went to the bed and sleep.

No food was given, so he did not have dinner. He learned from a very young age that when it was not given freely, there was no sense in asking for it. It would not be given to him however much he begged for it.

Night ended and morning came.

Midnight was hooked to a new IV fluid again. He didn't know how it happened without him noticing, but the people in this laboratory always had a way.

Seeing the IV fluid, Midnight knew another day in hell would start again and he just willingly went with the flow. Obediently following all the instructions, not even questioning why he was doing what he was doing.

The only thing in his mind was—he wanted to go home. To see his big brother.

Thus, in the weeks that followed. He moved like a machine until the laboratory deemed his tests passable and he was finally let free.

Midnight curved the happiness he was feeling while he was on the plane home. He was finally going to see his big brother. After all the violence and malice he had gone through, finally, there would be warmth again.

Excitedly entering their home, Midnight immediately went looking for his brother, uncaring if he got caught.

However, before he could reach his brother's room, his father's butler got in his way.

"Your brother is not here." The butler said. "He knew you're coming home today, so he left for Lisbon early in the morning. He didn't want to see you."

Midnight just looked at the butler, then nodded. He said nothing and walked past his big brother's room.

Upon entering his room, his blank expression remained, but there were tears running down his cheeks. He did not dry it and just let it fall and dry on its own.

I would've just stayed in that laboratory. At least there, I can pretend that I have a caring brother waiting for me at home.

Maybe he was asking for too much from his brother. And maybe the people around him were right—he was but a useless and burdensome child, unworthy of care and love.



CECELIB | C.C. 

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