"I love you"

I finally said it. Those three words were anything but empty. I meant them, I truly did.

I guess the thought has been playing in the back of my mind for a while but I've been pushing it away. I wasn't ready to deal with it and now that I am it's too late. I was a coward and now he'll never know how I really felt before we even found out that we were dimidums.

The age old saying is true, you never realise how much you love someone until it's too late.

With Lucas being gone there's a void in my heart, a hole that can never be fixed. Now that's he's not here I feel empty, like a part of me had been ripped away.

He made me happy when I was sad; brightened my darkest hours; always made me laugh; got me to exercise (honestly I don't know how he managed that); got me flustered and confused constantly; he was always on my mind and no matter how upset I was I could never stay mad at him. I wanted to be around him more and always be by his side; I wanted to make him happy and it always broke me a little inside when I saw him even the slightest bit upset. Whenever he was around I always felt at ease and he presence sent butterflies to my stomach.

If that isn't love I don't know what is. I'm sure of it, I love Lucas but it's too late, he's gone. I don't think I'm ever going to be able to live with the fact that I never told him, it will forever be one of my biggest regrets.

~*~*~

I've no idea how long I laid there for, contemplating my life choices and crying my eyes out. I cried until I had no tears left and even then I still remained in my position. It wasn't until I heard faint footsteps that I was awoken from my trance.

I was momentarily scared that it was the hag but these steps didn't match hers, these were softer and more gentle.

Speaking of which, I wonder why no one has woken up yet. Maybe they were injured much worse than I expected, oh well, I don't care if they die, Lucas is dead because of them and I'll never forgive them for that. If that red head isn't dead I will hunt her until my last dying breath as well as Lucas's mother.

I won't go after either of them straight away though. I'll bide my time and execute the perfect plan. They say revenge is a dish best served cold so I shall make them wish that they were dead. Their deaths will not be quick I can tell you that much.  By the end they'll be begging me to end their pathetic lives. No one fucks up my life and gets away with it.

Okay, let us move away from my psychotic thoughts.

The footsteps get louder but they're still rather graceful. I hear someone come up from behind me but I don't try and run. If they even try to fucking attack me I'll go ape shit on them.

I hear a small gasp and that peaks my interest, why isn't this person trying to kill me?

I lift my head and turn around, still firmly holding Lucas's hands, to meet Stephanie's sapphire blue gaze. Her eyes look like they're filled with so much concern and when she notices me look at her she immediately hugs me from behind.

When she lets go her face turns serious, it's at this point I notice how disheveled she looks. Her clothes are torn in many places, she's covered in countless cuts and bruises and she's sporting a black eye.

"Luna give me your hand," she demands.

No explanation, just 'Luna give me your hand'? Who does she think she is? I can feel the anger seeping out of me and I can practically feel steam coming out from my ears. I don't want to see anyone right now, especially her, she lied to me for fucks sake and now she's acting like nothing happened. "Fuck of Stephanie, if that's who you really are. I don't want to be around anyone right now, least of all you."

She calms down a bit at the tone of my voice and her face softens slightly. "Luna I'm sorry I haven't told you who I am but I have my reasons. I'll tell you I promise but right now saving Lucas is more important so give me your hand."

She's off her rocker. "How the fuck are we supposed to save him?! He's fucking dead! Isn't it blatantly obvious! He's dead! DEAD!" I'm crying and shouting at the same time, it's not a pretty sight, I've gone hysterical but I don't care. I don't fucking care any more. I'm done. I'm done with everything.

"CALM THE FUCK DOWN!" Stephanie screams. "I know this is hard for you. No, I'm not saying that I've been through what you're going through, I can hardly even imagine it but we can save him if you just listen. There's not much time so just do as you're told and he might stand a fucking chance." Her tone sounds so final and is full of authority. It's probably for these reasons that I comply without further protest.

I let go of Lucas's hands with my left hand, still clutching his hands tightly with my right.

I place my left hand in Stephanie's right and she grips it firmly. She grabs hold of Lucas's hands as well and even though I want to protest I don't. We're sitting in a circle all holding each other's hands, it's looks like we're in a bloody cult or something.

"What the hell are you doing?"

She lets out an irritated sigh. "Luna just go with me on this, it's his only chance. I know you probably don't want to trust me, heck after everything I've hid from you I honestly I can't blame you, but what other choice do you have?"

I don't trust her that's for damn sure but she has a point and at the end of the day she has been my best friend for more than seven years, what's the worst that could happen? I've got nothing to lose, Lucas is dead and if there's a way to bring him back I'll do it, regardless of the price.

"Alright, what do we have to do?"

She lets out a sigh of relief. "Repeat what I say."

I nod my head, waiting for her to continue.

"vivifica illum. vivifica illum. vivifica illum."

I give her a strange look. "I'm not sure whether or not you know but I've no magic so me chanting spells won't do shit."

"Luna I haven't got time to argue with you. Just do as I say," she snaps.

I'm taken aback by her harsh tone and decide it's best to shut up.

"iunctis viribus vivifica illum. iunctis viribus vivifica illum. iunctis viribus vivifica illum."

This is stupid. Does she think I actually have magic? I might as well do as she says, there's no harm in trying I guess.

"sol et luna vivifica illum. sol et luna vivifica illum. sol et luna vivifica illum."

Steph turns to me. "Now repeat this in time with me. Close your eyes and focus on Lucas, nothing but him. Think of all your memories of him, don't let your mind drift, he must be your soul focus."

I do as she says without protest as to prevent her lashing out again.

"vivifica illum. vivifica illum. vivifica illum. iunctis viribus vivifica illum. iunctis viribus vivifica illum. iunctis viribus vivifica illum. sol et luna vivifica illum. sol et luna vivifica illum. sol et luna vivifica illum."

As we say these words I concentrate solely on Lucas, on all the memories we shared. All the times he forced me to train and our arguments on the matter. His stupid jokes and how they somehow made me laugh. His goofy grins and cheeky smirks. The time when he explained his story and found out who I was. The first time I met him and how he was late, creating a bad first impression. Me giving Lucas junior a surprise on Halloween. Him valuing my life over his and that leading to his demise. My heart pangs at the last one, I can't be the reason for his death I refuse, this has to work. There's so many more too, all playing in my head like I'm watching a movie.

I feel a few tears slide down my cheeks but I pay them no attention. Lucas and I have shared so many good times in the months we've know each other and I want there to be more. I want countless memories with him. He can't be gone, our time was just beginning.

Call me selfish but I want more time, I know people say life is a gift and we should just treasure the time we have but screw that, it's not enough.

We continue to chant for another five minutes and then I snap. "Urgh! This is hopeless, nothing is happening."

Steph sighs yet again "Luna have you ever considered you're the reason it isn't."

I glare at her. "I told you I had no powers before we even started so don't you go and try to blame this on me."

She pinches the bridge of her nose and groans in frustration. "You're not powerless. The reason it's not working is because you think you are. You have to believe in yourself and your abilities. I know it sounds stupid but that's why it's not working. You're not confident in yourself, you were told you were powerless and just accepted it. You have to fight to prove those people wrong. If you can't do it for yourself then do it for Lucas. He's depending on you. Believe and you will achieve."

It's not working because I don't believe? That's total bullshit. Why would I believe in the impossible? If I had magic my parents would have known, they aren't two of the most powerful people of their age for nothing.

"There's no need to start preaching. You're right, I don't believe this will work but that shouldn't have anything to do with this. If I have magic I will just work regardless of what I think."

She face palms. "That's not how it fucking works! You have to believe in yourself. How many times do I have to fucking tell you! If you can't imagine yourself doing it and know it will work it won't. This is the last time I'm saying this. If you want to save Lucas trust yourself and do this!" Stephanie shouts.

Trust myself, how the fuck do I do that? I know I accepted myself and all that shit but I accepted the powerless me. Now I'm told that I'm the opposite what the actual fuck.

Forget all this Luna. This is for Lucas not you, just trust yourself for him. If you don't do this he's dead without exception.

I can do this. I'll believe in myself and my magic for Lucas.

Deep breaths in and out. In and out. Okay I'm ready, you owe me big time Lucas.

"Steph I'm ready," I say with confidence. "Give me your hand."

~*~*~

That's another chapter down...

We're getting close to the end of the book but fear not because it's not over yet. I know I sounded so stupid saying that but just go with it.

I really hope you guys will like how I end this book. I haven't written it yet but I want it to be perfect (or as perfect as I can make it because it's me we're talking about here and I'm not exactly good at this kind of thing but oh well, we go with it).

In other news this chapter is quite long compared to the last couple, yay!

That's all for now but before I go here are some gifs of Dylan O'Brien because ahhhh 😻😻😻...

You're welcome. Byeeeeeeeee.