Disorder watched as Order left through the portal, then looked down at the baby in his arms.

Disorder: Now what do babies enjoy...?

He set her down and went to the kitchen to find some food.

Disorder: Let’s see...babies enjoy milk, right?

He opened the fridge to grab some milk. But he couldn't find it.

Disorder: Where the hell did the milk go?!

He slammed it closed and went back to the living room. The baby was sitting in Order's chair, but Disorder remembered putting her on the other side of the room.

Disorder: ...Seriously? Are we really doing this?

He picked her up and set her on the other side of the room, turned towards the kitchen, and turned back to her.

Disorder: Aaannd you're back in the chair.

The baby was bouncing up and down on the chair, giggling. Disorder picked her up and brought her into the kitchen.

Disorder: Since we don't have any milk or baby food, what do you want to eat?

He set her down and rummaged around in the cupboards. All they had was M&Ms...

Disorder: Doesn't look like you get much of a choice...dammit.

He pulled out a bag of M&Ms and plopped them onto the counter. Picking up the baby, he set her on the counter as well. Once he was sure she wouldn't fall off, he turned around to find something to make the M&Ms baby-edible. Then he heard the familiar crunching sound of M&Ms being consumed.

He quickly turned around, and noticed that the baby had eaten at least a handful of the M&Ms. Her eye-lights were big and her bones were rapidly shifting between black and white and all shades in-between.

Disorder: Uh...you good?

Knives made of energy appeared behind her, and pointed at Disorder.

Disorder: Oh shi-

The knives came flying at Disorder, and he teleported away. He wound up in the living room, and started building his sanctuary. After a few minutes, he had built a wall out of furniture, which surrounded a corner that there was no way she could get into. He pulled up a chair and tried to sit there on his phone until it all blew over. Notice I said tried. Suddenly, one of the energy knives came flying by his head through one of the holes in the furniture-wall.

He ducked down to the floor and looked out into the living room through one of his holes. The baby was sitting down on the floor facing his furniture-wall, but it seemed as if it had doubled in size! Now it looked about a year old! More knives appeared behind her and launched themselves at the furniture-wall, only a few managing to get through.

After about a minute of this, a portal opened up next to the child, and Order stepped through. The child looked at him, said "Dada!", and slumped down to the floor asleep. Disorder teleported over to Order and grabbed his shirt.

Disorder: We must never, EVER give that child sugar, understand?

Order nodded and Disorder went back to his room, shouting behind him.

Disorder: She's your problem, now!