Kale's POV-

As I ran, I couldn't keep my focus on anything except the tingling feeling that I felt throughout my whole body. I could still feel her touch everywhere and my lips were still on fire from the beautiful short kiss that we had shared. I wasn't sure how one girl could make me feel so many things; it was an oddly amazing feeling.

I was so disappointed in myself for my behavior when I found out that she couldn't shift. I just couldn't comprehend it; I had never heard of a descendent without the capabilities to shift. Even early moon Oracles had been able to shift into their wolf form. Granted, they were all blind. Still... I shouldn't have gone off like that.

I felt my chest on fire with the thoughts of the harsh words that I had said. I felt pain burning in my gut. I had never felt pain like that, especially merely over what I had said to someone. I felt it resonate through our bond. She might've calmed down when I had taken her into the woods, but my words were forever out in the universe now. They would always be there for her to remember. Her hurt cut me to the core. Even if she got over it easily enough, I was not.

I wanted her to be my mate, everything that I felt about her made me want her more, but I couldn't quite shake the feeling of something being wrong. I felt like something was missing from the story, and I hated that feeling. I was afraid that it was all a lie. What if it was actually all a spell and someone really had bewitched her into thinking she was my mate? She'd be the perfect specimen since her wolf was caged within and couldn't fully manifest to wholly embrace her instinctual side.

I had heard of the sickly fake mate spells; I had no idea how accurate they were in mimicking the real mate bond. The spells were supposed to be forbidden, but witches who practiced such dark magic didn't care about rules. I knew that The North had dark witches in their ranks. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was missing a very big piece. I just couldn't quite put my finger on it...

I growled at the thoughts. I knew that I really needed to quit over thinking and pissing myself off. I was getting nowhere to loosen my tension when I couldn't stop thinking. Unfortunately, I was an Alpha who had to think about all possibilities to protect my pack, my family.

After another few miles I finally turned around in my vast territory to go back to the pack house. I knew that the pups play session would be happening soon, and no matter what bond Lucy and I had... I couldn't let her down. I also couldn't let the pups be afraid of me any longer; I couldn't let my pack fear their Alpha.

Luce was right; I had to give my pack something to fight for. I had to find something deeper than revenge to fight for. Luce was showing me that I had unconsciously let my pack slip behind my revenge plan when they should always be first and foremost in my mind and heart. It was time to let them know that they would always be my number one priority. No matter what, they'd always be my number one responsibility.

----

As soon as Luce came into my sight, I felt warmth flutter in my chest. I was so infatuated with her and now that my wolf had met her, it was even worse. I wanted her more than I could even comprehend.

I saw Lucy elongate her neck and sniff the air as soon as I got close enough for my scent to waft through the air. She turned to me slowly due to her back and smiled widely at me.

"Hi, stranger!" She greeted me with a warm smile.

"Yes, it's been too long." I joked. However, I was also slightly serious at the same time. It felt like any amount of time away from her was too long. The couple of hours that I had been away on my run had been longer than I would've liked.

She giggled and set the bucket down that she was carrying. There was slight hesitation in her eyes that threw me for a loop though. I didn't like the implication that her discomfort

I looked around at what she had planned and was honestly impressed. There were four large tarps set up with water going down them and suds all over them, there were different sprinklers, and even a very large tub of water sitting out.

"Water slides! And the different garden sprinklers will be fun for them to run through too, I think. This little tub can be like a little kiddie pool," she gestured to the small tub. "Do you think they'll have fun? I should have gotten them stuff to play with at the mall, not myself. I can't believe that I overlooked-"

"Luce..." I said and tilted her chin to me. "They'll absolutely adore it, sweet girl. You did good." I really was in awe of her.

She breathed out a pent-up sigh of relief before finally nodding. "Okay, so Dillon is going to bring the pups out in a minute or two. We also told the older kids up to eighteen to meet here; I hope that's okay with you. I know that they all have actual pack jobs, and their training is more important than the littles... But they are still kids after all."

I nodded at her statement. I was in total agreement that they were just as important. Everyone was... I was totally realizing that, finally.

"I don't even know if the older kids will have fun but it's worth a shot. Plus, it's good bonding time for the older and younger kids. We're going to surprise them with all of this. They think they're coming out for conditioning," she informed me giddily. "Nat is also going to bring out the pups that are under training age too from both packs later! I figured she and Cory could help chaperone and both packs can start meshing together since we'll all be here living together..." she trailed off in an unsure tone.

"This, Luce, was such a wonderful idea. I am absolutely positive they'll all love this," I found myself reassuring her.

A few minutes later, we heard Dillon marching the pups out of the gym. I could practically feel their tiredness and despair. It was a very bitter pill to swallow realizing that this was how the little pups felt. I was suddenly so grateful that Luce had come along to set me straight.

Lucy's face immediately brightened up and she nudged me with her elbow. "You should be the one to present them with all of this, you are the Alpha after all. Besides, I can't even play with them because of my back." She took a few steps back to let me have the credit.

I frowned deeply at that realization that she wasn't even going to get to enjoy in the fun... And yet, she was still the one who thought of it all and set it up for everyone. Plus, she was willing to give all the recognition for setting it up to me. This girl was something spectacular.

"But it was you who put all of this together..." I said softly.

She just looked at me blankly.

"Fine, we'll compromise. Together, we'll tell them together. Most of the pups already absolutely adore you because of the whole Lexi thing anyways. Having the pups on your side will be a big step in winning the pack over," I told her.

"We thought that you could use a little fun..." I said unsurely while pulling Lucy up next to me.

"You've all worked very hard and we all, especially Alpha Kale, are extremely proud of you," she added.

All the pups looked to be in shock as they stood there looking around at all the fun that Lucy had set up. They just stared with wide eyes and stayed unmoving, completely unused to this kind of stuff.

"You all deserve it," I added. "Well... what are y'all waiting for?! Let's have some fun!" I exclaimed before I took my shirt off and handed it to Lucy with a grin. Without further ado, I sprinted to the closest tarp and slid down it on my belly. I have to say, the slides went extremely fast and even the adults would have fun, especially after a few drinks.

When I made it to the end, I looked up the sloped hill that Lucy had smartly angled it on and watched several of the pups slide down, all laughing the whole way down. I was so proud and excited to see the kids having so much fun. It was like I could feel all the joy coming back into the pack. Plus, I saw the light returning to the children's eyes- the light should never have left.

I rushed back to Lucy with a smile. She was blushing profusely while trying not to look at me. I thought it was adorable that she was so flustered just from checking me out.

"You can look, you know..." I said huskily, surprising us both. "I mean, that's what mates do..." I added trying not to make it sound so dirty but failing miserably.

She cleared her throat and then trailed her eyes along my body. Everywhere she looked felt hot and tingly. It all made me feel so hot and bothered, making me want to take her right then and there. I had never felt such a strong reaction to any single person before; it was exhilarating.

"You're absolutely beautiful, Kale," she finally said when she met my eyes. "Not just your body. I can see and feel your soul; it's absolutely stunning."

I almost lost my cool right then, only narrowly avoiding grabbing her and marking her instantly at that statement. Luckily, my sister and her mate, along with a few other of their pack members came walking up with the smaller pups. Lucy broke eye contact with me before greeting them with a grin. Cory and the others immediately took the little ones to run in the sprinklers and stuff while Nat stayed next to Lucy and me.

"Why aren't you dressed to have fun, Lucy?" Nat asked, making me aware for the first time of her attire and the vast difference from Natalie's bathing suit. She had on a sweatshirt, even though the heat was blaring in the southern early fall sun, and some running shorts.

"I can't exactly play with my back torn open..." she said gently and looked at the ground.

"You can still play in the sprinklers or stand in the mist at least. Plus, you could sit in that tub with the babies," Nat said while gesturing to the tiny kids struggling to play because they were too small.

"I'm okay..." she said sparing a longing look at the babies. "Besides, I'm not exactly dressed for the part."

"You can go change," I said quickly, trying to find the underlying cause of this. "In fact, I'll walk you! I wanted to ask Rita if we could have a small barbecue tonight anyways. I had heard that she was planning sausage for dinner anyways. I figured we could make some cocktails and bring some beer out and let the adults join in on the fun."

Lucy smiled widely at me but dropped it instantly when I gestured her towards the house. "That's a wonderful Idea, I'm glad that you thought of it."

"What's wrong then?" I asked.

Lucy stayed silent.

"Nat, could you give us a minute? Keep an eye on everything please," I asked.

My sister nodded and trotted off to the fun to leave us to talk.

"What's going on?" I asked softly.

"Nothing..." She answered too quickly. I could feel her panic and fear through our bond.

"Great!" I called her bluff. "Then we'll go up to the house and I'll talk to Rita while you change!" I pulled her along gently and made our way to the house quickly. "I'll be down here when you get done!" I told her as I watched her hesitantly walk up the steps. I had no clue what was going on and why she was suddenly being like that, but I was going to figure it out.

I sought Rita out and told her about my idea of an impromptu barbecue. She agreed and even had me help her make some extremely quick pitchers of vodka-based cocktails. She was smiling softly the whole time.

"This is a very wonderful change, Alpha," she commented softly as we stuck the pitchers in the fridge to cool.

"Lucy started it all," I agreed.

"She's a wonderful girl. She reminds me of your mom, so caring and gentle. She would have loved such a lovely daughter in law," Rita said not so subtly.

I grinned with pride about my Luce. Then I realized what she said and gave her an exasperated look while trying to come up with words to counter at her.

"You don't have to say anything, Kale, that look of pride was enough for me to know. I won't say a word to anyone until you are ready to. Just so you know, I support you and her all the way. She'll make an amazing Luna and mate to you."

"Speaking of her, I best go check on her... it has been a bit. Thank you, Rita," I said quickly and practically ran up the stairs as I felt an uneasy feeling radiating through our bond.

"Luce?" I knocked. There was no answer. "Lucy, open the door... please?"

I could hear a sniffle and shuffling coming through the door. After a few agonizing minutes she finally opened the door wide enough to see half of her face.

"What's going on? What's wrong?"

"I..." she sighed and let a tear out. "I'm not made for this, Kale. This life... I don't know how to have fun. I don't even know how to be sane; much less be fun."

"What on earth are you talking about, Lucine? You are wonderful and I always have fun with you."

She shook her head and breathed hard. "If I'm so fun then why won't you accept me then?" She said in a harsh voice. She rested her forehead on the door and took some calming breaths as I tried to piece together what happened for her to be acting so strangely. "I'm sorry. I didn't really mean that. Why don't you just go have fun with the pack? I'm having a difficult day now and I won't be very good company."

"What happened?" I asked confusedly. "Let me in and we can talk about it. Maybe if you talk about it, you'll feel better. Then maybe we can go back down if you'd like to... I see that you changed clothes to go get wet in."

She sighed and shook her head. "It's fine, Kale. No one will even notice my absence. However, they will notice yours... Go be with your family and have fun, you all deserve it." She tried to close the door, but I stopped it before she could.

"You are a part of my family too, Luce. I won't go back until I know you're okay. Now please, please let me in?"

She held back some tears and steeled herself before opening the door all the way. She moved back to let me through without meeting my eye.

I walked through the door and took in her appearance. She was disheveled and teary-eyed looking down at the floor. The turmoil that I felt through our bond was making me sick to my stomach.

I walked forward and grasped her cheeks making her look at me. "What is wrong?"

She closed her eyes causing more tears to escape and let out a pent-up breath. "I... I can't be who you need me to be Kale." I opened my mouth to argue but she shut me up quickly. "My mind... It's- it's, fucked up."

I ran my fingers down her tear-stained cheeks, down her neck, and down to her exposed shoulders in the black tank top that she changed into. "You have no idea how wrong you are. Hell, you're the most enlightened and awakened person in this whole pack." My fingertips trailed down her outer arms and held both of her hands, only for me to catch sight of two very new, very deep cuts on her left wrist. "...What?"

"See! I'm fucked up!" She ripped her hands from mine and sat down on the bed with her head in her hands.

"What happened?" I whispered and sat down next to her.

"I just had probably the best day of my whole life with you in that forest then not even fifteen minutes later, I- I snapped." She sobbed. "I didn't mean to... I didn't even know it happened at first. You must believe me! It wasn't conscious, but what does that even matter? I still did it."

I put my arm around her gently to show her my support.

"I was in the shower, and I just kept hearing it over and over... 'they don't make Mates out of no wolf bitches. They don't even let them live.' Then your voice echoed through my head... You said that you can't have Luna with no wolf. I can't be your Luna. I shouldn't be your Luna! I- I... I should die." She began hyperventilating making her trail off.

I immediately felt panic rushing through my chest. "Luce..." I could feel her want for death... I felt tears brim my eyes as I felt her pain through our bond. "Lucine, you are here for a reason," I found my cracked voice speaking. "Remember that? Remember what the moon Goddess told you, you have a purpose! Feel it. Feel her divine love within you. Reach for it and anchor it in, she can't reach you if you don't let her in." I wasn't sure what controlled my words. I knew it had to be some sort of divine intervention which confirmed it to me even more that she was a prophet. "Let the loving cosmic energies love you and help you. Let your family help you. You will get nowhere by yourself."

I brought her into my body and held her tightly, letting her cry into my chest. I just wanted to hold her and be there for her because I knew that my words were part of what made her so distraught. After a short while, she finally sniffled her last sniffle and then lifted her head from my chest. I still held her to me.

"I, I keep breaking down and you keep having to pick up the pieces," she said sadly.

"I'll always help you pick up the pieces, Luce. You've been through a lot. There's no shame in not being okay and breaking down. It's a part of being alive. That being said, this is not a healthy way to deal with it. Hannah will want to know about it, but we'll deal with that in a bit," I said as I picked up her cut wrist and held it gently to examine it.

I got up from the bed to grab a couple of big waterproof band aids, some peroxide, and antibiotic ointment from the bathroom then went back to her. I calmly fixed up her wrist and trailed a feather light touch around the band aid.

"There's no shame in this, Luce. No shame in what you've been through," I said firmly. I traced some more of her self-inflicted scars from before she came to us and wished that I could take her pain away. "Now, my girl, let's go have some fun," I said to her softly.

She looked down at the band aids in panic when I said that.

"No shame, love. It's okay, if anyone asks, which they won't, but if they do, we'll tell them that you had an accident... Let's go feel the earth's love and soak in the water's healing nature. Let yourself have fun and be unashamed. You are so amazing, my lovely Oracle. There's no shame in any of this, Luce."