Lucy's POV-

I wanted to crawl into a hole. Too many people were staring and talking about me as if I were a museum exhibit and not a person. The pack had not taken the news of Kale's two bond-mates well and were extremely skeptical. I didn't blame them though, this all looked sketchy as hell.

I made my way further into the dining room with my head down. I had no desire to listen to any more of the nonsense that my pack had been saying about me. I was already mad and on edge because of Kale's bullshit from the night before and did not get a good sleep because of the nightmares that continuously plagued me. To put it simply, I was in a bad mood and pissed off at one of the only people who seemed to like and care about me.

It was already a lot later than usual as I walked into breakfast. I would have just skipped it all together if I weren't so hungry and knew that Kale wouldn't come banging on my door due to my absence. Then again, he was so far up Raven's ass now, maybe he wouldn't.

I finally looked up and saw Raven in the Luna spot again. She had been choosing to sit there since she had gotten to the pack. Had Kale told her anything about her seat choice? Nope.

I rolled my eyes at the small crowd that was standing around her while asking about her bandages that she was purposely showing off as she was dressed in a lowcut tank top. I was sure that she was spouting off her bullshit 'heroic' tale about how she had 'saved' me. The wolf had barely even swiped at her, Dillon's clawing on me was harsher than the supposed rogue's was on her.

I wanted to scoff at the sympathetic and impressed looks that she was receiving from everyone. She was no doubt winning over the pack. They'd want her as their Luna instead of me. I felt the hurt in my chest amplify as I had to blink away genuine tears at their painful unacceptance. I swallowed harshly as I put random food on my plate, no longer feeling all that hungry all of the sudden.

I turned back to find a seat. Kale was telling me, with his blazing Alpha eyes, to sit in the other spot next to him that he surely had saved me. I was still pissed at him though, and I had absolutely no desire to sit anywhere near Raven and hear of her false tales. Instead of sitting in the open spot next to him, I walked past the table and sat in my assigned dinner spot where no one else was even close to me.

I was sitting all alone, silently, being forced to listen to the not-so-subtle whispers around me. I suddenly felt like crying as I heard the comments from my pack saying that I was not Luna material. I felt my heart breaking as they all commented about how much more suited Raven was for Kale than I was. How I didn't even look the part of a Luna, much less act it.

I tried extremely hard not to let my tears spill out over their harsh words. Raven was succeeding in enthralling Kale, and in turn the pack was being enthralled too. I was not enthralling. If anything, I was off-putting by my looks and actions. I was their Luna, but they didn't want me... I accepted myself, but they did not accept me. It hurt so badly.

I was startled out of my stupor by the chair that was pulled out next to me. I glanced up at the person who wanted to sit next to me and instantly smiled in excitement.

"Do you mind if I sit here, Lucy?"

"Absolutely not, please do," I said with as big of a smile as I could muster. I was sure that it didn't meet my eyes, and he frowned at that. "I thought that you always ate up in your room. Why are you down here, sir?" I asked trying to get his attention off me.

"Well, you had told me to get out and join back in on life. I think it's high time for me to do that. If that girl is going to be here spreading lies about my pack, the least I can do is be here to rebut her and her ridiculous claims. My Alpha and Luna would have never locked their child away... they loved- they would have loved her." Wes sighed and looked at me closer. "You're hurting," he whispered solemnly. He raised his fingers to my cheek and wiped a few of my stray tears away. He glared over at Raven and Kale after studying me for a few more moments.

"I'm okay," I said with a headshake and rubbed the rest of my telling tears away. "It's fine." I tried to smile to reassure him, but I knew that he could see through my fakeness.

"Well, I think that she is a sham," another voice said across from us. He asked silently with his gestures if he could sit.

I nodded once and smiled at the other man.

"Good morning, Dillon," I greeted him warmly.

"Good morning, Lucy. Wes, I'm glad to finally see you out," he commented politely. "Anyways, I think she is a sham, and everyone is getting too sucked up in her charm for it to be real."

"They say she's better suited for Luna..." I looked down at my plate with a sigh. "It begs the question: is she?"

"Absolutely not," Dillon said fiercely.

"Not even close," Wes agreed.

"Why don't they see that then? Are we sure that I'm not just better off being a simple Oracle? I've read some books since being here... Most ancient Oracles give up their mates to see better into the Divine, they become God's mistresses for better insight."

"You're the Moon Goddess' Oracle though... She has famously never taken on an Oracle before. She didn't give you a mate, just for you to have to choose between power and love. The other Oracles in the past were in communications with other great Gods and Goddesses, but none of them were our mother. They all required sacrifice and attention. While, yes, you will also go through sacrifices for your powers, the Moon Goddess knows of what you've been through. You've already sacrificed and suffered tremendously. Your mate will not be one of them. Otherwise, why would she have even lead you here in the first place?" Wes finished simply and watched me take in his information.

"You and Kale are meant for many things. We just have to hope that Kale will see through this leech soon. He knows deep down that you are it. I mean, if I can feel the Luna power in you, then I know he can as well. He is just overwhelmed with desire from her fake bond. We need to figure out how to break that magical tie that she has burdened him with," Dillon spoke making me look at him with my eyebrows furrowed.

"You feel me as your Luna?"

"I've felt you as my Luna since you stopped Kale from killing me. I've seen the effect you have on him; it is one of true mates, an extraordinarily strong true mate. A fake bond would not have stopped him mid-shift the way you were able to. You are our Luna, Lucy. I know it," Dillon said with a slight head bow of respect.

I smiled at the two guys around me. Well, at least I know that I am two people's Luna. It felt good inside to be accepted by at least someone.

I could feel Kale's eyes on me during all of breakfast, but I didn't dare spare a glance in his direction. I knew that if I looked his way, I'd either crumble under his stare and give into his wants or I'd get angry all over again. Angry that he was sitting with her, angry that he had talked to me the way he had, angry that this was the way our story was going.

It wasn't fair, I knew that life wasn't fair, but this was more hurtful than I had expected. I had expected him to not accept me right away. I had expected his pack to be skeptical of our bond. I had even expected his anger and harsh words. I did not expect, however, to have to watch him be lured into someone else's arms. I did not expect the pain that watching him prance around with another would cause me. I had been through a lot of pain in my life, but this pain was different. It was deeper and more personal. It was deep in my soul, and there was nothing I could do to get the pain to stop when I saw him with her.

I had decided that I was done eating after only a few bites of food. My stomach was nauseous, and I was in no mood to eat, no matter how hungry I was. I was hurt and sad, but I was also so angry. He was treating this girl far better than he had ever treated me. He never shunned the girl, he never accused her of things that she probably was, he barely even seemed skeptical of her bogus origin story.

I was just so angry. I had never felt rage in the way that I was feeling it in those moments. Don't get me wrong, Fleming and Harrow definitely made me angry enough to kill them in the most painful of ways. But this anger that I felt was different. It wasn't pent up anger from painful events over and over again; it was the harsh reality of unacceptance and disadvantages. I wanted to hurt the girl and yell at Kale for not believing in me like he said he did... for not loving me like he said he did. I could feel my distrust in Kale peaking, and it made my heart hurt. He was supposed to be the one that I could always count on.

-----

Kale was in front of me pacing back and forth in his office. Sam sat off to the side stiff and uncomfortable. I wanted to laugh at the situation; we weren't even allowed to be alone anymore it seemed.

"Was there a reason that you snatched me up by my arm and dragged me away from my training with the warriors or...?" I asked in the most bored and detached tone of voice that I could.

Kale met my eyes and growled at my disrespectful tone and disinterest. I knew that I was pissing him off, and honestly... good. The bastard deserved to be as mad as I was.

He went back to pacing.

"Look, if there was no reason for you to bring me in here and I am just sitting here for nothing then I'm going back to my training session and then I'll be helping with the set up for tomorrow's full moon activities." I started to get up from my chair but was stopped by Kale's animalistic growl.

Kale stopped pacing and grabbed a glass from the side table next to him, only to chunk it at the wall a second later.

"Oh okay, cool. So, we're just going to throw temper tantrums now? Awesome," I stated sarcastically as I stood all the way up and crossed my arms.

"You're digging yourself deeper here, Lucy," Sam muttered quietly.

"Good," I said and stared at Kale directly in his black eyes. "Maybe then I'll finally be able to match the hole that he dug himself into with me."

Sam's eyes widened and he sighed at my answer. He honestly should have known that I was not going to have a non-smart-ass answer for that. I was fuming too. I was allowed to be angry as well. I had just as much of a right to as Kale did, even more really. I scoffed and turned to leave.

"Lucine," Kale said quickly. I paused in my pursuit of the exit. "Luce... please sit."

"Are you gonna talk or just keep pacing? Because if you're just going to pace, I have much better things to do with my time."

He sighed and sat behind his desk with his head in his hands. "Luce, please sit. Let's talk."

I sat down and stared at my very tired and conflicted looking mate. I almost felt bad for him in a way. I knew that none of this was his fault either, yet he still got sucked into it just as I had.

He should have had a normal mate like what Raven represented. A beautiful girl with the promise of love and a future. Had I known that she really was good for him and not a fraud, then I probably would have stepped aside for them two to be together. I would never be able to give him a normal life full of peace and harmony. I would never be the girl that he wanted, Raven could. However, I knew that something was off with her. She was darkness and had a bad omen attached to her.

"I'm sorry," Kale finally spoke with a long pent-up breath. "I, honestly, I have no idea what's going on," he said and sunk further into his chair showing me even more of his vulnerable side. "I hate this..." I knew that he did; I could feel it through our bond. "I hate hurting you, I hate that I feel for her, and I hate that this is happening to us." He looked like he wanted to cry.

I sighed. "I know..." It was all that I could muster to say.

"I understand," I finally said after a large pause. "But just because I understand doesn't make this any better." I sighed and rested my head in my hands trying to rub away my forming headache. "This hurts, Kale. Do you understand that? I'm hurting. Physically, mentally, and emotionally... This actually hurts." I let a few tears break through my carefully composed dam. "I'm sorry... I know that you don't like this either. It still doesn't make it okay though. I know you're hurting too but not like I am, Kale. I feel like I am getting the brunt end of this situation. It's tearing me apart." I couldn't hold the tears back any longer. "I thought that when I was in The North I had felt just about every sort of hurt that I could... But nothing could have prepared me for this. I don't know how to deal with this sort of pain."

Kale whimpered in response. He had nothing to say... What was there to even say?

"Kale... I- I love you. I love you and this pack. It's because of that love that I am giving you permission to choose her. It's not right. She's not right. But if that is what will make you happy then okay... do that. If that's what will stop this unbearable pain... then fine. I... I don't want to stand in the way of your happiness." I sighed and sobbed at my words. I wanted him to be happy; I was no longer sure if I could provide that for him.

"I will tell you though," I told him. "Your pack... they might like her better, but she's not the one that's better for them. I am. I am better for you, for them, for the future... For everything."

I was sure of that. I was the better one in the long run. She might have looked better, acted more like a Luna, and enchanted everyone better than me, but she'd never be better than me. I was real. I was their real Luna. I was the one that was better for them.

I could see Kale's eyes glistening with tears as I continued to sob. I felt terrible that he was hurting like that. However, I couldn't help him when I felt just as hurt.

"I just... I don't understand. I don't understand what I did wrong?" I was desperate to find an answer because I truly didn't understand why I wasn't being accepted like she was. I was desperate to learn why I was not what they wanted. "Am I not pretty enough? Do I not care enough? Am I mean? Am I wrong? Why does she get such better treatment than me?" I was starting to hyperventilate as I continued to ask the questions that plagued my mind.

What was wrong with me? I wanted to know the answer to that through their eyes because I didn't understand. I had finally accepted myself, but no one else seemed to be able to give me that sentiment.

I felt arms wrap around me and I cried into his chest letting my hurt wash over me. The hurt of my pack not wanting me. The hurt of my mate having someone else who was apparently better than me. The hurt of me not being enough for anyone but myself. It hurt. I hurt.

"No. Luce, no." I could hear the tears in Kale's voice as he spoke to me. At least he cared enough to comfort me. It was something... It was the bare minimum, but it was something. "I..." He actually sobbed as his arms tightened around me. "You are perfect Luce. You are everything and more than I could have even dreamed about in a mate."

"Then why am I not good enough for you?" I asked in a whisper.

"You are! Lucine, look at me." He grabbed my face and made my teary eyes stare at his. "You are absolutely everything to me..." He paused and wiped away tears from my face. "It's me, Luce. Not you."

"Oh great, here's the 'it's not you it's me' BS." I growled and tried to pull away from him.

He swiftly grabbed my arms and held me to him as I struggled. "It is! I can't accept you because I can't, knowing that I feel something for another she-wolf! I could never do that to you, Luce. You're too good and pure for that."

"But you'll accept her?!"

"NO!" Kale spoke louder than me and straightened up from his hunched position that he was in to comfort me. "No... I wouldn't accept her either. I can't... not when I feel the love that I feel for you."

That stunned me into silence. He got on his knees in front of me to be about my height while I sat and looked me in the eyes to show me that he meant it. His hand gently caressed the side of my neck. I wanted to melt into him.

"I love you. I know that it doesn't seem that way, but I do. I love you so much. I could never accept anyone but you when that feeling is still in my heart." He rested his forehead on mine and breathed in my scent. "And because I love you, I can't accept you with the feelings of want that I have for her. That wouldn't be fair to you." He sighed and stroked my tear-stained cheek. "I am so sorry that I feel those things. I don't want them... but they're here. And the bond that her and I share is... there. I hate it. I hate me for hurting you. I hate all of this. It was supposed to be me and you... I was supposed to accept you." He rested his face in my lap as he calmed his angry breathing down. "Luce... I am so sorry," he said muffled into my lap.

I stroked his hair and breathed in his scent. It wasn't much... It was barely even anything to hold onto. Hardly anything to hope for, but I had to. Otherwise, I would fall all the way apart and I couldn't let myself do that.

"Okay..." I answered finally as we took a few minutes to just breathe together.

"Okay?" He asked and lifted his head.

"Okay," I said again and nodded. "I'll trust you. I'll trust you to make the correct decision." I sighed and looked away from him. "The pack still likes her better, and that hurts me to no end... But she's very enthralling and I suppose I'll try to keep that in mind," I said softly and ran my fingers over his smooth skin on his face. "It hurts; I need you to know that. This whole thing kills me. But... I'll trust you. I'll trust you to love me and make the best decision for us and the pack." I swallowed hard as I said those words, they were difficult but necessary for both of us.

"Okay," he breathed and kissed my lips simply before standing up again, only to kiss my nose quickly before settling behind his desk. "Thank you."

I nodded once.

"So... tomorrow is the full moon. What is the official agenda?" He asked me after a long pause, trying to break up the tension.

"First, we set up a bon fire, then a prayer of thankfulness to Mother Moon, then dinner. Then as the sun sets and the moon rises, a cleansing lake swim. Followed by dancing, more prayers, drinks, and then finally when the moon is at its peak, the run," I said quickly with a nod as he wrote notes. "Who keeps the kids who are too young for a shift?" I asked thoughtfully.

"Grandmama, every single moon. She says that the moon calls her differently. And then just another pack elder who can resist the call of the moon. Why?" He answered.

"There will be no need for the elder. I'll replace them. I can't shift anyways; the whole pack might as well go for the run as I help Grandmama."

"You don't want to run with us? You don't shift at all?"

"I would love to shift and run with you, but you know that I can't. It seems impractical for me to run only half shifted... Talk about slow." I smiled at Kale and then shook my head once again. "I'll be much more useful helping with the kids... Besides, I love them, and they love me. I shift very slightly, sometimes not at all. I'll be able to handle it. As Grandmama says, the moon calls to me in a unique way."

Kale smiled and then nodded. "Okay then, I'm absolutely positive that you'll show them a wonderful time and teach them of Mother Moon."

"I'm sorry that Raven is winning over the pack so well," Kale finally said. "I don't agree with it; you do much more for the pack. You should be the one that is being accepted." Kale sighed. "We can try to show off your goodness and good deeds more..."

"I have no desires to do that," I answered immediately. "Besides, everyone is so taken with her charm that I doubt that it'll do much good." I shrugged. "She is much more of traditional Luna material, which is what they're looking for."

"But you are much more Luna in general," Kale argued. "I have yet to see her make one helpful suggestion or care like you do."

I shrugged again.

"That's the problem, Lucy. You can't hide away forever and only show your worthiness to me. The Luna is at the forefront of every pack; you can't constantly avoid the spotlight if you are a Luna. You have to stand up and stand tall, ready to lead everyone into a new time. You have that in you, Luce. Make everyone believe in you as you have made me believe in you. The reason they are accepting her so quickly is that she's showing them. She is engaging with them. Don't hide, not anymore. There is no reason to hide. You are strong, so show everyone that. I know that you've been hidden away all your life, but it is time to remerge and show the beautiful Luna that you have grown to be. Everyone will see it if you show it; it is too hard to ignore."

He sighed again. "And I am truly sorry that you've felt ostracized by me. I did not mean it to be like that. I also do not mean to treat her better than you... The circumstances are different though. When you first got here, my heart was completely closed, even to my own pack, you've helped me open it. You fought through all my harsh words, insecurities, and closed doors to help me see that I am allowed to have a mate. I'm allowed to love. With you here and you opening my heart, when she got here... She didn't have to fight through all that like you did. You opened the door for her in a sense. I know that it's not fair and I know it sounds silly, but it's the truth. You blasted my heart right open for everyone."

I smiled at him. "That is worth all of this hurt then," I said evenly. "To get you to see love once again, to get to help open your heart up to everyone... That is worth it."

He got up and kneeled before me once again. He grabbed my hands and kissed my palms gently. "Thank you for that, Luce. For all of this... thank you."

It was a whispered thanks with so much emotion behind it that it made me lose my breath. He kissed each of my knuckles, and then each arm on my Goddess markings. He slowly made a line of kisses trailing up each side of my body, only to end it with a smoldering kiss on my lips. I felt all his emotions for me in that kiss. He did love me... I knew he did.

The only question was... did he love me enough? Did he love me enough to fight whatever hold the girl had on him?