Ira

The knives cut into my skin in slow even strokes. Strapped to the bed the only thing that covers me is my own blood. I can smell it and want to throw up. My captor grins when it wells and spills down my stomach. He pours salt over me, and I scream in pain. Delighted, he cuts along my thighs... my arms... then between my legs to castrate me, pouring salt into each wound as he inflicted it and making me scream louder. I know he likes it when I do but it hurts so much not to. I beg him to let me die. He smiles and turns the mirror so I can see what he has done.

Staring down at my notebook I try to make sense of the letters and numbers staring back at me. It's Monday morning and I have no idea how I'm supposed to solve the problem. The answer hovers in front of my brain, within reach but unexplained. Unfortunately, Our Math teacher believes in showing your work and I can't figure out how I know the answer. It doesn't help that I'm distracted by memories belonging to someone else.

There are very few rules to the insanity of my dreams. The first is that I never dream the same thing twice, Mom's death being the one exception. Second: rarely, if ever, am I just one person in them. It is both a blessing and a curse. I was the grass as much as the person having their bones broken. But if I was the grass, I was also the sick pleasure of breaking those bones as much as I was the pain of having them broken. Being everything at once made it easier to distance myself from everything that happened.

It makes it too surreal to be true.

Last night that was not the case.

It took a long time for my heart to stop racing after jerking awake in a panic and franticly running my hands over my arms and legs searching for blood. Even after the numbness seeped in and I started to calm, my skin still itched with phantom pain. I've already spent most of the day trying not to think about the nightmare. It doesn't work of course, but I try anyway.

When the bell rings, I'm hesitant to leave. Emma will be waiting for me, but I really don't feel like going to history today. Not when the hour spent in Mrs. Henson's classroom is when the Knowing is always the worst, and my head already isn't on straight. With a resigned sigh, I gather my things and head out. As predicted Emma is waiting by the door. With her are JD and another girl from their advanced math class. They stand and talk amongst themselves, and I half hope I can sneak past unnoticed, but Emma sees me just as I'm about to walk past. Walking over, she loops one arm through mine.

"Ready for another hour of torture?"

"No, I think my brain might liquefy if have to do this for another week. "

She laughs and it is almost funny because she doesn't realize I'm serious.

On the way to class, we run into the twins and manage to make it through the door before the bell. Finding Wes, we sit in our usual spots. Autumn and JD whisper about something while River and Wes start talking about the new football coach. After pulling out her books, Emma leans over to give something to Wes. He reads it and smiles at her. I give her a questioning look but at that moment Mrs. Henson walks in.

"Ok class, who's read chapter 10?" When nobody raises their hand, she sighs in disappointment. "Can anyone at least tell me what chapter 10's topic is?"

Again, No one responds.

"The Great Awakening! Come on people, Talk to me! What do we know about it?"

"It ended World War II." Someone in the back says.

"Ok, Good. What else?"

"It killed a lot of people?"

"Not necessarily, but we'll go over that later. Does anyone else have anything to add?... What came before the Awakening?"

"Day of slumber" several people mutter.

"Yes! If you open your books to page 89, we're going to go over the events that lead to the biggest event in history."

For the next hour, we listen to her talk about the day that changed everything. After Stalingrad, a new wave of Nazi soldiers emerged. Soldiers who seemed to be undefeatable. Some claimed they had special abilities, others said they were unkillable. In any case, the following battles saw the Allies losing ground at an alarming rate as these new super soldiers swept through their defenses. All seemed lost until the Day of slumber. On May 4th, 1945 amid chaos, everything came to a stop as friends and foes fell into a deep sleep. At that moment, a wave of unconscious swept across the globe leaving no one untouched. Millions died quietly where they lay and thousands more from the resulting accidents. Some claimed it was nukes or an EMP, others thought it was aliens. Everyone blamed someone else adding to the tension and fueling the cold war. The truth was scientists still didn't know what caused it but for 23 hours the world slept.

And when it awoke, so did the Mage.

The ones who survived the Great Awakening opened their eyes to a changed world. Entire Cities were overrun by plants and wildlife as if a century had passed instead of a single day. The older cities with enough survivors fought back nature's invasion to reclaim the land their home was built on. They, along with a few of the smaller, more determined towns like Ashtyn became the Remnant Cities and over time the strange results of nature fusing with their urban infrastructures became just another part of life. Those unable to keep their cities left them to regroup and built new cities in place of the ones earth had taken. And in the rush to rebuild some found they could do impossible things.

That is what the history books said and a part of me dreaded what it meant for Me. The Mage have become a rarity, something one might encounter once in a lifetime and yet I saw them every day waking through the store, selling drinks in a restaurant, and crossing the street. I could just be insane, but perhaps my unnatural eyes were a sign of something else. While they were supposed to be one in million, occasionally another mage was born, and eventually, they had to decide. Live with an ability you could never use, sell your soul to the powers that be, or risk imprisonment and death.

Going for the first option, I do my best to keep my head down for the rest of school, just like I have every day for the past two years. After the last bell rings, I head out to the parking lot, ready to go home. I find Emma and Wes waiting by her car and briefly wonder where the others are. I hurry over but hesitate when I see Wes's face. They stand close to each other, and both wear worried frowns as they talk in hush tones. Emmer lookers up in a frustrated gesture and I debate whether or not I should approach. If they're having an argument I don't want to get involved, but if it has anything to do with me, I can't risk not knowing.

"It has nothing to do with that, I swear. Now please, just let it go." I hear her say as I draw near.

"Fine" Wes' response shows his own frustration, but Emma turns to get in the car and then me.

"hey" she smiles, but I can still see the tension in her shoulders. "You ready to go? We decide to grab something to eat since you're working today and everyone else is on their way"

"Great," I tell her but glance at a quiet Wes.

He watches Emma with furrowed brows, and I feel a pang of guilt. Emma is good at helping me hide my oddities, but Wes has known her since they were children. He can no doubt tell when she's keeping a secret but doesn't say anything while we get in the car and head to the diner. The drive home is short, and Emma is tense the entire ride back. When we get there, she doesn't get out right away. She just sits, gripping the steering wheel and staring out the window.

"What's wrong?" I ask not entirely sure I want to know.

"You did it again during lunch, that thing . . .where you're all ... still" She shakes her head "We can't keep doing this. I can't keep doing this. It isn't fair to Wesley."

"I'm sorry," I say and it's the truth.

I didn't ask for the things happening to me and she didn't ask for my secrets, but after waking in a panic several times I had been forced to tell her.

"I won't tell him, but fuck Ira, you need to figure something out. They're not stupid. Eventually, they're going to put two and two together, I just really hope you're ready when they do."

I don't say anything, but I know she's right.

Instead, I get out of the car and make my way inside. Emma follows, holding the door open for the couple behind us. Wes, JD, and the twins have already claimed the usual table in the back and Emma goes to join them. I head to the kitchen to clock in.

It was time for me to work.