When I wake up I hear a familiar voice singing, "I don't know when I lost my mind. Maybe when I made you mine, whoa-oh-oh-oh. I don't know when I lost my mind. Maybe every time, that you said, you said, you said that I miss you and I miss you. These words mean nothing to me. I'm just sitting on a fence of how it used it to be. These three words are arching. Constrict them,suffocating. My mind is racing with the picture I'm painting. And my belly's sick to it's stomach, when I remember all the time (s)he was with you when laid it down. You lay down next to me."

My eyes flutter open and my eyes shoot to the directions of the voice. I see a blank face with neutral pink matte lipstick and sunglasses on. My voice comes out in a weak croak, "Lucy?" 

She takes off her sunglasses to revel empty, cold, broken, harsh, eyes that used to burn bright with compassion, love, hope, happiness, and passion, "it's me Sodapop." She walks over to me her heals clicking with every step. She runs her hair through my un-greased hair, "I missed you."

"Why?" I ask. "Why'd you leave? We had a date. Why did you leave me?"

"Oh Sodapop," she smirks an emotionless smirk"I had to go. it was for the best."

"Do you love me?" I ask.

"Would it really make a difference if you knew I still loved you?" She asks. Something about her is different and I can't tell, but the way she talks, her words, her facial expression. It's all different.

"Yes, it would make all the difference in the world," I say.

She sighs as she smiles without teeth. A smile I've never seen her smile. She reminds me of somebody down to the tough, emotionless, tuff New York accent, but I can't think of who. Who ever it is, they're really close to me, "if I told you it would only hurt more when I leave...Pepsi."

"Why can't you tell me?" I ask her as tears fill my eyes.

She bends down pecking my forehead, "look what I've done Sodapop. I've broken you. You're in a hospital bed because of, attempt of suicide. You drink now too I heard. You're eyes aren't reckless and your no longer the happy-go-lucky Sodapop I once loved."

Loved? As in Past tense? "Look what I've done to you though," I counter.

"You didn't do this to me," she speaks softly. "I did this to me. I'm dead, but I'm very much alive. Just remember I always get what I want and I did this time to. I am dead, but I can still breath. The Lucy you once knew died a while ago. The Lucy that loves you died. I'm sorry for your lost."

"If you don't love me, if you're dead, then why are you here?" I ask confused.

"I just had to come and see you," she winks. "I'm only an hour out of town. I got back from New York a few months ago."

"Does Dallas know you're alive? Does Steve?" I ask confused even more then before.

"Dallas does. As for Steve he doesn't. Dallas told the gang he knows I'm dead though because, I am technically alive, but I am dead," she smiles wickedly.

"Sodapop!" We hear from outside.

Lucy look at me and smiles pecking my lips this time, "I should go now Sodapop."

"Wait Lucy!" I yell as she climbs out the window. 

*****************************************
My eyes flutter open as somebody yells my name. I look next to me to see Darry, "she's alive, but she's dead."

"Who? Who is alive, but dead? Who's she?" Darry asks.

"Lucy," I say simply as my mind races trying to put all the pieces together.

"How? Dallas told us he knew she was dead," Darry says calmly.

"No, she was here and she wasn't herself, but she was alive," I say slowly as I think of everything. "She wears sunglasses now and Dally in is contact with her. She lives an hour out of town."

"Sodapop I've been checking up on you by the hour, calling your name, everything and she was never here," Darry informs me. "You were probably just dreaming."

"No!" I yell. "Dally told me before I passed out that she was alive. She loved me, the Lucy that loves me is dead."

"I'm gonna go get Dally," Darry says softly. "You can ask him."

Dally walks in a few minutes later, "hey kid. What's up?"

"Where is she?" I ask trying to stay calm.

"Who?" He asks acting like he doesn't know.

"LUCY!" I yell. "She was here and you know where she is."

"You must of been dreaming," he says his New York accent laced into his words. "She's dead."

"I know, but she's breathing. The Lucy we knew is dead, but I can save her,"I speak. "I know I can. I can bring back Lucy."

"You should go to bed," Dally winks. "She might come back."

A few days later (still in the hospital)

"Shock, horror, I'm down, lost you're not around. There's a lump in my chest. That sends cold through my head and my mind shuts sound out. I'm on auto-pilot, and my tongue's gone silent. Just switch it off and lay it down, lay it down next to me," Lucy sings. She looks over at me and smiles, her new smile, "good morning sleepy head."

"Lucy?" I ask tiredly.

"In the flesh," she says as she looks at me. "I've miss you Sodapop, I had to come back just once to say goodbye. You're going home today."

"How do you know?" I ask.

"I'm everywhere, but nowhere Sodapop," she winks. "Don't pull the same thing I did. You can die, but still breathe."

"How? How did you do it" I ask her.

"Do what honey?" she asks as she sits on the end of my bed.

"Die, but still breathe, stay away from us, but spy on us knowing stuff," I confirm.

"Toughen up and nothing can touch you love," she advises. "We only have ten more minutes together."

"How?" I ask.

"Darry's coming in to check up on you soon," she responds. "Ask me anything you need to know and I'll answer the ones I can, the best I can."

"Where did you go when you left?" I ask.

"New York City, Dally loves it there."

"Where do you live now?"

"Can't answer that one love. Sorry," she shrugs.

"Are you ever coming back to Tulsa, to be in the gang?"

"I'm still in the gang, just not in it. Aren't I?"

"I guess. Are you ever coming back though?"

"I don't know."

"Is there a chance for us to get back together?"

"If that Lucy ever comes back then yes, but with this one no."

"Who is this Lucy?"

"Dallas Winston..."

"How?"

"Cold, hard, tough, rude, mean, I don't love, no kids," she explains.

"Do you two have a thing?"

"We don't love."

"Do you love me?"

She walks over to me running her hands through my hair, "forever and always Sodapop, like married couples, but I can't show it and I can't love you. We can't be together. It's complicated."

"How did we get into this mess?"

"I don't know, but it reminds me of spaghetti."

I chuckle a little, Lucy's comparisons were always so weird, "care to explain?"

"It's one big messy ball with a ton of other stuff on top of the mess we've already created."

"How much longer do we have?"

"Any minute and Darry will show up."

"Do you miss me and the gang?"

"It's sign of weakness, pass."

"You can be weak around me you always were."

"You weren't there for the past few years Sodapop, my walls are built up bigger, stronger than ever. I don't think anybody could tear it down, not even you."

"Did I do that?"

She leans down and pecks my cheek, but stops as she stares into my eyes, "I'm so sorry."

"What does that mean?"

"Sodapop!" We hear Darry call from outside.

She bends down pecking my lips once more, "bye Sodapop."

"Wait Lucy!" I yell as she runs out of the window. "LUCY!" 

**************************************************

"Sodapop!" Darry yells.

My eyes shoot up and I sit up really fast with cold sweats, "wait Lucy! LUCY!"

"Sodapop calm down," Darry says softly as he puts his hand on my chest. "Lucy's not here remember."

"No, she was here," I sob. "She left when you called my name."

"Soda it was just a dream," he says.

"It felt so real though," I sob loudly. "I miss her so much and I love her. I lost her though."

He pulls me into his chest, "I know little buddy, but it's time to go home. Do you want to go home?"

I nod as I sob silently, "yes please."

Is Lucy alive? Is she dead? Will she ever return? Was it all a dream? Is she really like Dallas? Will the old Lucy ever come back? Will she visit again? Will they get back together? Is she still in the gang? Stay gold. Do it for Johnny!
-Beth