Vacuous: having or showing a lack of thought

Keith pov

It wasn't long before Lance left.
The house was so empty afterwords.
I sat in that pool chair for another 10 minutes before finally getting up.
I grabbed my soaking wet clothes and hung them on the backs of the chairs to dry.
I grabbed my stuff and headed upstairs to my room.
I went to my bathroom to examine all the marks Lance had given me.
My neck and chest were littered with hickeys.
Those will be fun to cover up.
I looked at my body in the mirror.
"I don't understand how Lance can find this attractive..." I wondered to myself as a ran a hand across my stomach.
He seems like the type to be into...well...Not me.
My face is cute yes but the rest of me isn't.
Why is the rest of me just so...Big?
My waist? Big
Hips? Big
Stomach? Ew
Thighs? Massive
Calves? Big
Ass? Massive
Maybe Lance was lying to make me feel better.
It worked if that's the case.
The bottom of my stomach almost flows over the waistband on my underwear, I just don't understand how that's attractive.
I guess Lance must have low body standards if he finds me hot.
But him on the other hand...him.
His body is what's gorgeous and stunning.
He's so toned effortlessly. His arms, chest and stomach are so firm yet comfortable at the same time.
I wish I looked like him.
Am I really calling Lance, Asshole Lance hot?
I guess I am unfortunately.

He didn't leave my mind even after I showered and went to bed.
That's the most anyone has seen of me in a long time.
That's the most anyone has seen of the fatter me.

I tossed and turned for hours that night.
Thoughts flooded with memories of Lance's stupid face.
I can still feel his hands on my hips and his tight stomach pressed closely to mine.
I can feel his lips on my neck and him rubbing against me.
He's lucky he's so stupidly attractive. If not I wouldn't of let him get away with that make out.
As the minutes went on I thought about how nice it would feel for his arms to be around me. Strong yet soft.
His front pressed to my back, Kissing me cheek and grazing his knuckles against my tummy every so often.
It made me feel so warm inside.
What am I even talking about?!
I would never date Lance.
I kissed him because that was the only thing I could think of doing. It's not like I actually like him!

My parents get back soon and I'm so excited. I miss them so much.

The next morning I was in a bad mood as I barely got any sleep.
I had a big mug of coffee for breakfast and put even more in a travel mug for school.
Talia tried her best to get me to eat something but I politely declined.
She gave me a homemade cereal bar for later on in the day though.

Today I decided on a black and red polo shirt and khaki shorts.
I was in the mood to dress extra "stereotypically" gay.
I paired my outfit with Gucci socks and slides.
I managed to cover up all the now dark hickeys on my neck. Most were covered by my shirt and the shirts collar. Makeup can do wonders.

I picked Shiro up soon after I left and he pointed out how bad my eye bags are.
"Yeah, I didn't sleep too well last night" I replied.
"At least your eye bags are Gucci" He teased.
That made me laugh harder than it should have.
Lack of sleep makes everything funny to me.

We got to class on time and Lance didn't come and sit by me like he has been.
I noticed he didn't even bother covering up His hickeys.
He doesn't have as near as many as me.

Lance didn't even look in my direction the whole class.
While everyone worked on their projects I just doodled in my notebook and Lance was on his phone.

At lunch Shiro questioned me about that.
He knows me too well and noticed I've been acting a bit off today.

"How come you and Lance didn't work together today?" Shiro asked.
"We've been working on it lots out of school" I mumbled.
I didn't even look at him.
We were sat at a 2 person table in the cafeteria.
I was starring out the window intently with my arms crossed.
"Is something going on between you guys? You didn't do jack shit in class" Shiro asked.
"No" I said bluntly, Still not looking at my best friend.
"Keith, You're lying..." Shiro trailed off.
"What's going on?" He asked and reached out to touch my arm gently.
"It's none of your business Shiro!" I hissed.
I finally looked up at him.
He looked at bit shocked.
I rarely snap at him like that.
"I-I'm sorry. I'm just exhausted and running on a fucking litre of caffeine. I just miss my parents too" I whimpered.
"They'll be home soon Keith" Shiro assured me.
"Why don't you try eating something? How many times do I have to tell you that coffee isn't a meal?" He chuckled.
"I'm not hungry" I mumbled.
"I've heard your stomach growling all morning. I'm not dumb" Shiro hummed.
God he knows me too well.
"Let me rephrase that; I don't want to eat and I'm not going to eat" I huffed.
"You're so difficult" Shiro sighed and rubbed his face with his hand.
I feel like a bad friend...I just now noticed he dyed his hair all black.
"Your hair" I said, Changing the subject.
"You just noticed huh?" He chuckled.
I nodded.
"You need to eat something Keith. Even if it's a bag of chips or something from the vending machines...Just eat something buddy" Shiro coaxed.
I ignored my stomach rumbling again.
"Chips? Are you kidding me Mr healthy?? You're always telling me to eat better. Now you're telling to me eat chips? Dude..." I trailed off.
"I'll buy them for you if you don't have any change on you" Shiro said.
"I'm on a diet Shiro. I thought I told you" I grumbled.
"You might of? I just don't remember" He hummed.
"Here, You can have the rest of this" He offered and pushed half of his veggie sub towards me.
"I can't...that's your food" I squeaked.
"Eat it princess. I've got other stuff in my bag" Shiro said.
Knowing him if I don't accept he'll shove it down my throat.
I hesitantly took it and took a bite.
"Good boy" Shiro chuckled.
"I'm not a dog!" I yelped with a mouth full of sub.
He laughed.

I ate that sub faster than I'd like to admit as Shiro munched on a few banana chips.
"You'll feel better soon" He cooed.

The rest of the day went on.
Lance didn't sit next to me in my other classes either.
In last block I got up to go to the bathroom and low and behold; Guess who was in the bathroom?
Lance.
He had already seen me, I wasn't going to bail now.
I swiftly walked past him and over to the sink.
I quickly washed my hands like I came to do.
I dried them with paper towel and was about to leave when Lance pushed me against the sink counters.
I glared at him.
He leaned in close to me and his lips brushed against my ear.
"Fancy meeting you here" He purred.
"Yeah...It's a fucking bathroom. I come here almost every day to piss and wash my hands dumbass" I growled.
He pressed his body right up against mine tightly.
"Do you need something?" I asked.
"Maybe I do...Maybe I don't" He teased.
"Well in that case..." I began.
I pushed him back then put my forearm against his neck and shoved him back into a wall.
I was the dominant one now.
I pressed it against his neck harder, Not hard enough to hurt him but not too light in a joking way.
"If you don't have any business here, I'd best be on my way" I smirked.
He gave me an antagonizing look.
"Maybe you're my business baby" He cooed.
"God" I gagged and let him go.
I spun around quickly.
"Those shorts really accentuate how huge your ass is" Lance remarked smoothly.
"Fuck off you perverted scumbag!" I shouted and stormed off out of the bathroom.

I went back to class absolutely fuming.
Thank god the teacher left the room!
I grabbed my books, shoved them into my bag and literally left the school almost an hour and half early.
I stomped off to my car, chucked my bag into my passenger seat and peeled out of the school parking lot.
I got home in a matter of minutes.
I almost crashed at least 5 times.
After I parked in the garage I sat in my car for a few minutes.
It was shut off and I just sat resting my head on the steering wheel.
I fucking hate him.
I fucking hate Lance so much.
I regret kissing him, I regret last night.
Fuck him!
I remembered that we have a bottle of champagne in the kitchen.
Time to chug that bitch and go in the hot tub.
I shut the garage door and locked my car.
I went inside and slipped my shoes off.
I then heard voices in the kitchen.
"Keith?" I heard Morgan's voice call.
"Mom?" I asked and quickly shuffled off to the kitchen.
Both Morgan and Evan were standing in the kitchen.
"You're back!" I cried and ran over to them.
I practically jumped into their arms.
They both wrapped me in a big hug.
I was almost crying I was so happy.
"You're back" I said again.
"Why are you home so early?" Morgan asked.
"I could ask you guys the same thing" I chuckled.
"We just last minute decided to come home" Evan said.
"What about you honey? Why are you home early?" Morgan teased and pinched my cheek.
"Rough day" I huffed.
"I'm so happy you're back. I missed you guys so much" I squeaked.
They both squeezed me tightly then I let go.
"We came home just for you" Evan said.
I smiled so big.
"Where do you want to go for dinner?" Morgan asked.
I thought for a minute.
"Sushi maybe?" I hummed.
"Sounds good" Evan replied.
Morgan then wrapped me into a hug just on her own.
"We both missed you so much. Every night I couldn't stop thinking about you before I went to sleep. I'm so glad to see my sweet boy again" She beamed and left kisses all over my face.
I laughed happily.
When she finally let go of me the looked me up and down.
"You look really lovely today. You look so nice in those shorts" She gushed.
"Thank you" I replied.
"Where's Talia?" I asked them.
"We gave her the day off as a reward for looking after you"Evan said.
"I just gave her the evening off yesterday" I laughed.
"She deserves it" Morgan beamed.
"You know, I really shouldn't condone you skipping the last bit of school but I couldn't be happier to see your handsome face" Morgan chirped and pinched my cheek again.
"Stop" I giggled.
"How did the trip go?" I then asked them.
"It went fairly well. We missed a few back to back meetings today to come home but they weren't very important anyway" Evan explained.
Also if you're wondering why I didn't know they came home early sooner, They Uber to the airport when they go on their trips so their vehicles stay here.

I convinced my parents to pop open the bottle of champagne.
We went outside and sat on the back elevated patio.
The late summer air felt so good.
The champagne was wonderful. It's been a while since I've had any.

I used to drink fairly heavily but stopped recently.
I've abused my parents excessive liquor collection.
They let me have wine and champagne with meals every so often.
My parents love collecting fine wines and the such from all over the world. We also have a bar in our basement so when they would leave me; Bottoms up.
I can hold my alcohol well.
I can down a whole bottle of vodka in a night if I'm feeling up to it.
Whiskey is always good too.
My parents aren't alcoholics in any means. Whenever we have dinner parties that's when we dip into the collection.
They never expected me to be such a heavy drinker in the past. 
I'm Evan and Morgan's precious little boy. I'd never abuse alcohol!
To this day they still don't know I did this.
A bit of a sob story but they just mean so much to me! I would get so sad and feel so neglected. I had to numb those toxic feelings somehow.

When we finally decided to leave to go to dinner, We took the Porsche.
It rarely gets used.
I changed into some black dress pants and a black short sleeve button up shirt.

I picked out my favourite sushi place in the area.
As much as I'm craving a hamburger, Sushi is technically the healthier option.
Thankfully it wasn't busy and we got seated right away.
I love it here.
The lights are dim and calming, Soft music is playing. The whole aesthetic of the place is traditional Japanese mixed with modern decor. It's so pretty.
I sat next to Morgan while Evan sat across from us.
A very pretty young Japanese waitress came up to us and brought us some water and made a bit of small talk before taking our order.
I took a sip of the water.
I then rested my head on Morgan's shoulder.
"Tired?" She asked and put her arm around my waist.
"Mhm" I mumbled.
"I didn't sleep well last night" I added.
Morgan rubbed my side gently.

The nice thing about sushi restaurants is that you don't have to wait long for your food.

I got two plates of my favourite sushi which they thankfully had.
I was waiting for a remark or something from Morgan or Evan about how much food I got but there was nothing.
I was really hungry so I didn't wait for the rest of our food to arrive before I dug into mine.
I finished before both of my parents too.
"You were hungry huh?" Evan chuckled.
I nodded and gave him a small smile.
"That's 12 pieces of sushi, That's a lot" Evan laughed.
Never mind...There it is.
I groaned and hid my face in my hands.
"Don't tease him Ev" Morgan scolded.
"I'm not! It just impresses me how much a little guy like him can put away" Evan laughed.
I groaned again.
"I was hungry Dad" I huffed.
"I know you were. Eat up buddy. It's a celebratory night" Evan said.
"Are you still hungry? You can order some more if you want" Morgan asked.
"I don't need any more" I mumbled.
"But do you want more? Keith if you're hungry eat baby" Morgan cooed.
"I'm just getting teased" I scoffed.
"Dad doesn't mean it. He's just joking" Morgan said.
"I don't need any more mom" I repeated and crossed my arms.
"Okay. I'm just making sure my baby isn't going hungry" Morgan chirped.
I almost cackled.

I waited until they finished their food before getting up and going to the bathroom.
I then remembered why I left the school. Good thing I forgot about it briefly.
Fucking Lance.
Stupid fucking asshole Lance!

I went back to our table and plopped myself down.
"Ready to go?" Morgan asked me.
I nodded.
I gulped the rest of my lemonade down before standing back up.
Evan paid the bill and tipped our waitress.

As we drove back home I was lost in my thoughts about Lance.
He's just plaguing my mind!
Ugh.
Traffic was horrible as it was just the end of rush hour.
It took an extra 15 minutes to get home.
I just wanted to get home, I was so impatient the whole time.

When we finally did get home I was more than relieved.
I went upstairs to change into some comfier clothes.
I slipped into some checkered pj pants and a black t-shirt.
I decided to go downstairs to watch a movie in the theatre.
It's been a hot minute since I've been in there to watch something.
I desperately wanted popcorn...
We have a really nice popcorn machine that's really easy to use.
I don't need it. I just had dinner.
I grabbed a fuzzy blanket from the small storage closet and settled into the middle recliner of the front row.
We've got 9 seats, 3 in each row.
All comfy leather recliner chairs.
My favourite is the middle one.
I don't know why, It's just the comfiest.
I switched on our projector and scanned through Netflix.

I love horror movies.
It's a little secret of mine.
They're my guilty pleasure. I love the adrenaline you get from watching a good scary movie.
Ghost movies are the best! Anything haunted is my favourite.
Ever since I was a kid I've been fascinated by anything scary.
Ghosts, Monsters, Vampires, Werewolves, Aliens, You name it!
I've seen almost every single horror themed movie on Netflix.
From the bad cheap ones, To good quality Hollywood.
Whenever new releases come out I get excited to see if there's anything I haven't seen.

The next day I didn't go to school.
Why would I? What's the point?
I told Shiro and he got a ride from Matt.
I slept most of the day and wallowed around in my anger and regret towards Lance and I's makeout.

Evan made me go to school the day after though.

"Wake up lazy bones!" Evan called as he opened my door.
"I'm not going!" I barked.
"We let you stay home yesterday, You're not staying home again! I don't know what's going on but you are going to school Keith!" Evan scolded.
I know he's being serious.
I muttered some swears under my breath and sat up in bed.
I decided on some grey lululemon joggers and a black v-neck shirt I got from target one day. I'd spilt coffee on myself and quickly went with Shiro and picked it up.
The pants squeeze my thighs and I feel like I'm going to bust out of them when I sit.
I wore some Gucci sneakers with ankle socks too.
I grabbed coffee and a scone before saying goodbye to my parents and heading out to get Shiro.

I refused to look at Lance the whole day. I could hear him talking about me to a girl. Asshole.

Within the next day the school was buzzing with news of our make out session.
I was fuming.
That fucking piece of shit obviously told a bunch of people.
The stares in the halls and whispers are bad enough.
I just keep my head up and strut. I know I'm better than them.
I passed Lance in the hall at lunch and he gave me a sympathetic look and I just scoffed and sashayed away.

Later that night I texted him:
"You're finishing the project without me. Thanks for letting the whole school know about our hookup. Fuck you"
He read it but didn't reply.
I talked with Shiro on the phone about everything.
It felt good to let it all out.
He just told me to forget it all and ignore all the people talking shit.
"You're better than them Keith. Lance is a
dick for telling people about something private like that. He's a piece of shit, Don't let this get to you. Keep your head up princess, Your crown is falling" He said with a lighthearted giggle.
"Thank you Shiro" I smiled.

The next day was our presentation.
I was dreading it.
I had 3 straight shots of espresso before I left for school.
I wore ripped jeans and a long sleeve shirt under a grey Gucci t-shirt and doc martens.
Gotta look my best right?
This would be the first time I'd be talking with Lance since the bathroom incident.
As I walked in the English class everyone stopped to stare. Clearly more people knew now.
"If all of you have a problem with me I'd prefer if you wouldn't make it obvious. I know everyone here feels bad that I of all people lowered my standards enough to get with Lance. But save the sympathy and get over shit!" I hissed loudly at the class and sat in my seat.
"Smooth Keith, Very smooth" I heard Lance say slowly and clap slowly as well.
I looked over and he was glaring at me.
I stood up, I felt anger that I haven't felt in a long time boil in my stomach.
Lance stood up too, Smirking now.
The class got quiet.
The teacher wasn't in yet.
"You got a problem too?" I spat and crossed my arms.
"No, But I think you do" Lance said.
"How so?" I asked and raised an eyebrow.
"Oh please Keith. Get your head out of your ass already! Everyone here knows you made the move on me first. This is the real world Keith! People are going to spread rumours. Mommy and Daddy aren't here to buy your way out of this situation okay? Suck it up sweetheart, Welcome to high school!" Lance shouted.
That was it, This is the last straw.
I stomped over to his table. Took our poster and ripped it in half.
Kids gasped just like in the movies.
Lance looked shocked.
"You think I care?" Lance then laughed loudly.
"Fuck you!" I spat.
I was furious.
"Ha! You wish!" Lance cackled.
"You know what Keith?" Lance asked.
"What?!" I barked.
"Your legs look fat in those jeans" He said.
That's it...
I then grabbed Lance's collar and pushed him onto the desk and punched him right in the fucking face.
A few people screamed.
I punched him in the nose and the cheek a few times.
Blood began to run from his nose.
He tried to get away and he grabbed onto my arms.
I was then pulled off of him by the teacher. I was kicking and trying to get away.
"Not so pretty now huh?!" I screamed at Lance.

Him and I were dragged down to the principals office by the school security guard.

Soon both of my parents were standing beside me as I sat in a chair in the principals office.
"What the hell were you thinking? You aren't 14 anymore Keith! I thought you were over this aggression phase!" Evan yelled at me.
"You need to apologize to that boy! He's out there bleeding because of you! I can't believe you" Morgan hissed.
"I'm not apologizing for jack shit! That dick started it!" I yelled.
"You beat the crap out of him! You are apologizing!" Morgan yelped.
I groaned.
"He fucking jabbed at something he knew I hated about myself! I opened up to him and even just a sly comment like that pushed me over!" I exclaimed.
"What did he say?" Evan asked, Scowling and arms folded.
"He said that my legs looked fat in these jeans!" I cried.
"So you beat him up because of that?!" Morgan shrieked.
"That just pushed me over the edge!" I shouted.
"Keith you could afford to lose some weight" Evan sighed.
"What the fuck dad!" I yelled and stood up!
"Evan!" Morgan barked at him.
"Ever since his injury he's been putting weight on. You don't think I would notice?" Evan asked.
"What the hell! I get it! I'm fucking fat! Literally everyone knows! Everyone can see it, I don't need you of all people reminding me of what a fatass I am!" I screamed.
This is embarrassing considering the principal is right there.
"You aren't fat Keith. You aren't even overweight" Morgan cooed.
"Apparently I am to Dad, Julian and Lance!" I barked.
"You know what? Screw you!" I scoffed at my dad and stormed out of the office.
"Sorry Lance" I mumbled angrily as I left.
He had an ice pack pressed to his face.

I got into my car and just drove.
I'm suspended for a day from school.
What the hell is Lance's problem??
What did I do to him??

I drove and drove until I got to the edge of the city.
Fuck school.
Fuck Lance.
Fuck my parents.
Fuck my life!

I didn't even notice how long I'd been driving.
I stopped my car on the side of a highway and I had many missed calls from both my parents and a few from Shiro.

I sat on the hood of my car for hours.
Watching the city and cars go by.
Being eaten alive by my thoughts and dreads.
I finally decided to head home when the sun began to set.

My parents and Talia were all waiting on the front steps, Looking worried.
Relief flooded their faces as I pulled up to the driveway.
When I got into the house Morgan pulled me into a hug.
"Don't ever do that again you hear me?! Pick up your goddamn phone when I call you!" She cried.
Once she let go Evan tried to hug me but I refused.
"Don't" I said softly.
I went into the kitchen and found a bottle of whiskey and a bottle of champagne in the pantry.
Fuck it.
I'll be drinking good tonight boys.
Nobody bothered stopping me on my way upstairs.
I ran a bath and popped the cork on the champagne.
I locked my door, Stripped naked and turned my music on loudly.
I texted Shiro that I was home now and getting wasted out of my fucking mind.
I chugged a quarter of the bottle in one sitting and got into my bathtub.
I didn't bother looking at myself like I normally would.
I'm obviously fat. So many people wouldn't of cared or noticed if I wasn't.
Bold of people to assume boys can't be insecure or feel bad about themselves.
We do!
We just don't show it because it's a supposed sign of weakness and femininity.
I'm pretty fucking insecure about my body and if that makes me weak to people than they're wrong.
I had the whiskey on the edge of my tub, waiting for me to fill my fat gut with champagne before breaking into it and really getting started.
I drank.
I drank and drank.
I had the whole bottle of champagne resting comfortably in my stomach when I got out of the bath.
I cracked the whiskey and took a few gulps.
My personal favourite dark liquor.
I changed into clean Calvin Klein's and a black t-shirt and flopped onto my bed.
I could feel the champagne settling in my belly already.

I was fucking hammered in under 2 hours.
I locked my bedroom door and ignored my parents attempts at getting me to come out.
I'm free, drunk and gay and nobody can stop me!

Lance pov

Thankfully my nose wasn't broken.
I'm surprised it wasn't.
Keith may be small but damn that guy can punch.
I forgot he took MMA.
I deserved it honestly. I was a dick.
I just didn't know what to say! He took a hit on my insecurities so I hit on his.
His legs happened to look extremely sexy in those jeans. Too tight in all the right places and his pale skin oozing from the rips.
I am pissed off at him though.
I didn't spread the rumour. Matt and another girl did. I told him and he vomited it out to dozens.
Hunk feels bad for me but I don't care. Pidge thinks it's hilarious.
I'm angry Keith destroyed our project though.
I taped it back together but our teacher was too angry at us to make us present, That and Keith was gone.
I saw Keith's parents yesterday though.
He looks nothing like them! Not even a bit.
I'm also pissed that my face has a cut and my cheek is bruised a bit. I did deserve what I got but at least Keith got suspended.
But with those thick thighs in those jeans will be pictured perfectly in my memory forever. Jerk off material for months!
I know Keith confided in me about his body insecurities...I shouldn't of called him fat. But he jabbed at mine too; Of me not being good enough. Not being high enough in someone's eyes.
All of my siblings have/had something going for them but not me!
My older siblings are all so smart and got all A's and Jade is good at so many things.
My younger siblings are sporty and were in the arts.
Not me.
I'm not smart and I'm not good at anything!
I'm just me.
Besides my good looks which can only get me so far.
I've got nothing.
I'm a nobody.