beep...beep...beep...

"zayn-"

"sh, babe...i think he's waking up."

the two boys watched louis intensely. he was as white as a ghost, sleeping soundly for the past day. his arms were wrapped up and his stomach had been pumped. he was frail, as fragile as glass. the doctors had to do a blood transfusion because he almost bled out.

ethan was the one who found him. he frantically called 911 and then liam's dad when he shuffled through his father's junk and found the phone number with his girlfriend's phone. he was the one that held louis' almost lifeless body in his arms until the medics came to take him away. he was the one that told the police he was his brother and begged to ride in the ambulance with him. ethan prayed to god and begged for his baby brother to be alright. he pleaded, apologized and dropped to his knees to tell the empty house he was sorry for everything he did.

he was the one who caused louis to try to kill himself. he knew it.

so he took his father's motorcycle and sped to the hospital behind the ambulance. he stayed in the waiting room until liam arrived. when liam saw the blood on his arms and shirt, he broke down. he crumbled to the floor and held his head as he, himself prayed. he wasn't much of a believer but he couldn't lose his best mate.

zayn held his boyfriend while crying his own river of tears until a nurse came to tell them that louis, thankfully, was alive. they told him he overdosed and had to recieve a massive donation of blood. liam cried tears of joy, hurt and sadness. louis was alright. louis attempted suicide. louis was hurting. he was looking for an escape.

"louis?" liam asked quietly when the boy blinked. "bub?"

louis looked around and rubbed his eyes. "mm?"

zayn held his hand down on liam's knee as louis gave the hospital room another once-over. louis looked down at his arms. his hands had i.v.'s hooked into them. both wrists had bracelets with different colors on them. his bandages were still weeping blood but they weren't as bad as before.

"no.." louis shook his head. "this-this can't be-"

"louis-"

"you should have let me die!" louis wailed. "why the fuck am i still here?!"

"because-"

zayn jumped up when louis went to remove the tubes from his arms. he grabbed louis' wrists, making the boy yelp in pain and he held them up.

"look," zayn said, bumping his nose to louis'. "you're here because we care. you are here because it is not your time to leave. you are here because you need a fucking therapist and you are here because you tried to kill yourself!"

"zayn..." liam frowns.

"no, li. you're gonna sugar coat it for him," zayn looked at his boyfriend with apologetic eyes for snapping at him but turns back to louis. "please...what happened, louis? you were doing so good and-"

louis shook his head, tears begging to be let out. "n-no...i-i can't be here! i give up on ev-erything- i just wanna be with my mum!"

liam scooted his chair to the bed. zayn released louis' aching arms but still sat on him so that he wouldn't try to do anything else. louis looked away from the couple. he didn't want to be here. his intention was to leave, why was he still here?

"you're on suicide watch," zayn said. "risk of awol. they're gonna send you to the fucking looney bin."

"no, not the looney bin," liam retorted. "a halfway house."

louis frowned. an institution. he was gonna be put in a straight jacket and forced to swallow pills and eat mush. he would have no contact with anyone for months.

why is he thinking about this now?

"lou," zayn said softly. "look at me."

louis shook his head and closed his eyes. "no."

"then fucking talk to me," zayn groaned.

liam reached over and gently grabbed louis' shoulder. louis flinched and looked over, seeing the sadness in liam's eyes.

"i'm sorry," louis said softly. "i'm a bad friend..i've drug you in this mess."

liam shook his head. "no, bub, you didn't. friends are supposed to help other friends. family is supposed to stick together. that's why we're here...we're gonna get you help and you can come back home," liam's voice cracked as he spoke. "we can get through this..."

louis began to cry and he put his head in his hands. fuck, fuck, fuck. he really messed up this time.

his thoughts were jumbled. maybe it was the meds, maybe it was the new blood, he didn't know.

"there's someone that wants to come visit...if you're okay with that," liam said softly.

"i-if it's my brother, he can go fuck off."

"bub, it's mr. styles," liam bit his lip. "i was in class when ethan called me and said you were...y'know...and he said he wanted to come check on you if you were alright with it."

"fuck," louis sighed. "probably just for pity. when i get back to school it's gonna be like that too."

zayn pursed his lips. "do you want pretty boy to come here or not?"

"hey," liam fake pouted. louis shrugged and took liam's hand when it was held out.

"i don't mind, i guess...just let me get my bandages fixed? i really don't-"

zayn got up and paged a nurse, who came in moments later.

---

louis was grudgedly forcing himself to eat jello when there was a gentle knock on his door.

"come in," louis said and the door creaked open. the familiar shadow of a tall curly headed man cascaded along the wall and louis put his cup to the side as harry made his way to him.

"hey," harry said softly and bit his lip. "um, how are you? nevermind, that was dumb-"

louis chuckled softly and accepted the hug from the man. he laid his head on harry's shoulder and just melted in his warmth.

"you didn't have to come here," he said shyly and harry sat in a chair beside him.

"oh hush, i've been worried sick about you," harry replied.

louis blushed. "why?"

"i dunno, probably because you're one of my favorite students." harry shrugged. "and i'm just a worry wart to begin with."

louis nodded. "erm...-"

"why didn't you call me?" harry asked in a hushed tone, almost weak and not there at all. "i could've helped you in any way i could..."

louis stared at his lap and picked at the blanket. "i don't know. i'm sorry..."

harry reached over and put a hand on one of louis' smaller ones. louis bit his lip and shyly took the man's hand, tearing up when harry placed his forehead on their intertwined hands.

"they're sending me to a looney bin," louis whispered. "for two months."

harry nodded. "i sorta figured they would do that..."

louis shrugged and looked at the man. "why do you care so much?" he asked. "i'm just another kid at school. i'm old news."

"most definitely not," harry objected. "you're smart, you're kind, you're wise...you're just broken," he laid his cheek on their knuckles. "everyone is broken somehow. you, me, even the doctors in this wing. we all have our stories and some of them are just written more graphically than others."

"that made no sense," louis joked, causing his teacher to chuckle.

"i'm just saying that you aren't alone, lou. some people are going through the same thing you are."

if only he knew.

"are you just saying this so that you'll seem even cuter when acting wise?" louis asked and immediately blushed beet red when he realized what just came out of his mouth.

"maybe," harry teased. "i'm serious, though. remember when i told you my brother died when i was young? some people relate to the grief. the incident that happened a few weeks ago, it happens all too often. you're a survivor. i am, too," he said softly.

louis squeezed his hand.

"i also believe that you are unique, much different than the rest," mr. styles murmured. louis' lips barely twitched into a smile at the compliment.

"thank you," louis said softly.

they stayed like that for about another hour. a nurse came in to clean up louis' i.v.'s and change his bandages. harry turned away so louis wouldn't feel so awkward about it and even held his hand when the nurse told him he was leaving for good samaritan, a halfway house in brighton, in two days.

when harry went to leave, he stood and placed a tender kiss to louis' forehead. "stay strong, little one."

louis took a deep breath and nodded. it was going to be hard.

"i'm just a phone call away," harry murmured and hugged him. he also kissed his cheek, lips lingering for a moment and louis turned his head.

of course he would be the dumbass to kiss his attractive teacher, but he didn't expect said teacher to kiss him back. harry's lips were plump and soft against his chapped ones. they were sweet and tasted like coffee. harry's hand was also soft against his skin as the man cupped his cheek. louis raised a hand and laid it on harry's, curling his fingers around harry's palm.

"fuck- i'm sorry," louis said once they departed. "i-i was just-"

"sh, i did it too," harry said. "do you want me to come visit tomorrow?" he asked softly, running his thumb over louis' bottom lip.

louis licked his lips and nodded. "if you want to."

harry nodded and bit his lip. "uh- can i..?"

louis let out a small hum and leaned up to kiss the man again. it felt so wrong, yet so right.

louis knew then, that harry was his saving grace.

---

well well well look what we fucking have here.

this book will be a little whacky for a bit. im sorry ): but if you could, please just bear with me! thank you guys for 1k (: