I don't remember barging past Josh, throwing open the apartment door, racing down the two flights of stairs- in heels (loaned from Talia), and storming out in front of the apartment complex, my mind fogged with rage, my body running on pure adrenaline.

I don't remember my fist colliding with Cassie's jaw, until a choral gasp from the group erupted as she stood aghast, eyes bulging out of their sockets. The gasp echoed down as the others watched from above, I could even hear a "Damnn, nice one Kelli!" from who I could only presume was JJ.

Inaudible and incapacitated, she tried to bitch slap me (pathetic on all counts), and missed, still stunned from the blow to her jaw. I grabbed her wrist and pulled it away from my face before it got the connection to probably my ear, the grip so tight it was beginning to cut off blood circulation. Her rage was only exacerbated by Harry's lack of participation, as he stood their, quite possibly with a wider gape then Cassie had. Only when Cassie gave him a forceful glare, he shook his head back into reality, did he respond. "Kelli, what the fuck?"

"Wow, all it took was a glance for her to have you under a trance."

"Ha, you just rhymed unintentionally!"

"Vik, shut up, not the time" Ethan hushes Vik.

Harry grabs my arm, pulling it out of my grip, throwing it down. I can feel my skin crawling, itching to hit her again, show her what she deserves. But I knew I stood no chance of Harry forgiving me for the scene I had already caused. Some part of him loved her, whether it be real or manipulated. And that was something I would have to help him realise, if he ever wanted to speak to me again. "If you feel forced to be here, leave." I say, gritting my teeth.

I knew it would be slightly awkward having him here after our kiss, but no one knew i thought it meant anything for real, apart from the girls of course, and that was just on my part. It was stupid of me, but rage blinded me and I just wanted to get back at Cassie for the comments on my past, which is what she tends to use against me. I guess she knew how to rip apart people from their weaknesses, which she used to walk over Harry, tearing him to pieces because he didn't know how to say no. Plus, it would seem even more obvious I believed the kiss meant something if I didn't invite him.

"Harry please keep me away from this savage homeless bitch, she is insane" Cassie responds for him, looking at him for validation, but instead, Harry falls silent, refusing to look at me.

Again, the homeless insult. Typical, but instead of letting it hinder me defenceless, I laugh, I laugh in her face, using this opportunity to test out my new hypothesis. Cassie is a bitch, so why wouldn't I just laugh in her face hypothesis.

"Oh I'll show you insane, from someone whose made their way, and doesn't leech off of her boyfriend" I smirk, waving them pettily away, as Harry has to drag her to his car, while Cassie continues to curse at me in many ways, which to give it to her, were creative.

I catch him give me a look before he slams his car door shut, one of mixed anger, disappointment but with a hint of regret in his eyes, and I was determined to find out what he was regretting.

I slump back inside, slowly making my way up the stairs and back into the apartment, greeted by many looks of sympathy, shock, and impressed. JJ is the first to congratulate me, not only on my interview but for my 'knockout' of a hit. "Another couple of them and you'd have a KO, Kelli!" he chuckles, patting me on the back.

I walk past the rest of the group, grabbing a bottle of vodka and beginning to down as much as I could, then pausing, grabbing a bite of crisps, and repeating the same action. Talia and Freya come up either side of me, rubbing my back and smiling with consolation. "Guys, I'm fine, he didn't want to be here, and even if he did, he would not be able to enjoy himself. She's not letting him out of her sight."

"I mean, you did  kiss him in front of his girl" Ethan reminds us, and I take another swig of vodka in response.

"It was only for the game, he knew that and so did I" I finally reply, my voice slightly cracking on the last few words. It was all too messy and complicated to have any sort of feelings for Harry, so why should I bother letting him and his girlfriend who he will clearly listen to and prioritise ruin my night. "So on that note, I think we should get the party started!" I cheer, causing an eruption of corresponding cheers, everyone grabbing or pouring drinks, and JJ cracking up the music.

After an hour or two, the music began to form one big jumble of words and sound, as I had gone through a bottle of vodka alone, then was someone convinced to do shots with Ethan as then a couple for the 'why not' factor, of tequila, beer and god knows what else. I was carefree, singing, dancing, laughing, and It wasn't ruined by a mess of a relationship that was Harry and Cassie. I had grown to realise that problems only arose when I interacted with Harry, mainly because of Cassie, and perhaps it wasn't my job to help him realise the issue. Yeah, I may have added fuel to the fire with the kiss, but it still was not up to me whether Harry decided to leave or stay, because me helping only made it worse.

I stumbled over to Josh, Simon and Vik, who stood around chatting and laughing, most likely at my drunken state. "This your first time getting off your face?" Simon chuckles, and I nod, tripping over a long cord JJ had left on the floor. Josh managed to catch me and hold me up, as I begin mumbling. "Depends, does picking up bottles and cans off the street as the only source of hydration count" I murmur, and only Josh hears, sparking a twang of sympathy as he holds me slightly tighter, as a way to say, 'I heard you'. 

He waves Freya over, who takes over, "You guys are such the mum and dad", I giggle, everything now spinning and she ushers me over to where Talia stood, leaning on the counter, sipping at her drink.

"Ooh babe, you look a little... green."

Talia puts her drink down, and the girls bring me to the bathroom, helping me to the floor. I lean my back against the bathtub, the coolness giving me a chill down my spine, but also a sigh of relief. "You guys are so great, you know that right?" I smile, closing my eyes, but getting a harsher wave of dizziness. Their eyes light up, loving the drunken blurt of love, and cuddle up either side of me, holding my hands.

"Yeah, that ain't gunna help you girl, you gotta wait this out. Will be hell though."

I sigh, beginning to shake a little, my body going from hot to cold, dizzy to dizzier. The girls sit there and chat to  me, but most of it doesn't make sense, so I just smile in agreement. I wasn't sure quite when the true effects of the alcohol would hit so we just lay there, the slight buzz of the music still blaring through the door frame.

My phone buzzes, and using my face id to open it, as there was no way I would be able to open using the password, I somehow manage to press on the notification. It takes me to Imessage, and through the blurriness, I am able to make out who it was. Harry.

Harry Lewis

It was me who was with Josh, watching your interview.

Wht do yoou mesnm?

Oh god, you must be wasted. Josh said you'd asked him who the other person was at the interview. It was me, thought I should tell you.

Wnhy??

I don't know, I wanted to see it happen in person.

Wht abnouut yoir preshios guolfrien?

She doesn't know, I still wanted to support my friend.

Oh

Hey, you're able to spell something

Ruyde

Anyway, I'll let you get back, Cassie will get suspicious.

I'm sorry Kelli. I'm sorry for causing you such a hassle with it all. I just want things to be normal. We both know that kiss was just for the game, but there's no telling her that.

Chess.

Kelli Wills

Chess

I hope we can still be friends

I'm sure she'll come to her senses, she's not that bad

I don't want to have to choose.

Message not delivered.

And with blocking Harry, I threw my head into the toilet bowl.

It's been a whole year, I'm so sorry. I have no idea if people are still reading, if you are, hi!! Thank you!!