[Lucy]

My mind is a very cloudy place at this exact moment, too much shock and feelings hidden inside me, now they are running free and this was not supposed to happen.

I don't know if I would like to change this day, there were actions, facts, truths and it was all so unexpected, I must admit that today was a very special day. I sum up everything as the day of tears and surprises.

Right now I'm crying with my back against the door and Mandy is walking towards me. This is the end of the day so we need to go back to the beginning of everything.

How do we start?

In the morning I woke up tired and late for school. Yesterday I went to the movies with Adam and I got back very late to my house. It was great, I always have fun with him and share my time with Adam is a wise decision. He keeps me busy and we recover the time we lost.

I took a shower as fast as I could and then I ran to my room. I put my underwear and while I'm searching for clothes my eyes landed on the present on my desk. Mom gave me a black and easy to use as a casual dress, she really wanted me to wear it today and I was in the mood to please her.

I appreciate the fact that there is no neckline or something on the dress, my mother finally learned something about myself and my simple tastes.

I placed the dress, a cardigan and I put on a black converse because I didn't know what could be fit with the dress. I dried half of my hair as I could, I throw everything I need in my backpack and I went down to the kitchen and mom was not there. She would take me to school today.

I went upstairs and my mother's door was locked. I was going to knock but mom and Mike were arguing. Everything was fine between them, we went out to dinner and both smiled and talked. What is happening?

I put my ear against the wood and the sound, their voices and words are a little confusing. But I can understand certain phrases. They are discussing but I can't figure out what is the source of all this. Are they lying to me and Madison?

The words they shared and fired to each other remind me exactly on the discussions my parents had before they divorced. Sometimes they acted like nothing in front of me and my brother but then they were arguing and these words are the same and in the same tone.

Is it possible that mom is planning to leave Mike? What do we do and where we would go? What are the reasons? I just hope that another man is not involved. It would break my heart to know that the story could be repeated.

I don't want to leave, I like Mike, he is being very nice to me and he treats me like his own daughter and I'm getting used to being here in this city. Madison is not the best sister one can ask but to have her company vaguely remember me of my brother Daniel. I think I could compare them because both ignored me on different levels.

Well, I know I can't count on mom right now. I walked towards Madison's bedroom and knocked on her door. There was no answer, I opened the door and Madison was not there. Anyway I doubt she could take me to school.

I thought about going on my bike but I need a faster means of transportation.

I grabbed an apple and ran out of the house. I managed to take a taxi and I didn't have a lot of money but it was enough to pay.

I tried not to cry but the situation is very sad. Honestly I don't want mom and Mike to end their relationship.

I got out of the taxi and when my feet landed on the school grounds I regret to be wearing this dress, I’m feeling so stupid right now. I wrapped a scarf in my neck and wiped my tears.

I guess my mom is still arguing because I have no message from her asking me where I am. I decided to send a message telling I was fine and that I was in school.

I arrived late and sat in the last seat. I pushed down the dress to cover my knees and then pulled out my notebook. I rested my cheek on my hand and wrote a couple of things.

Harry got even later and sat next to me. I almost died because his beauty never ceases to amaze. How is that possible?

"Cute dress," he whispered looking at my lap and I regret my decision again. "Hi?"

"Hi," I said looking at the board.

"You feel better?" He asked and I know he is referring to my neck.

"Yes, thank you."

"We haven't started the work. I read the chapter and I guess I know what parts I want. "

"Really? Great. "

"I hope I can have a space in your busy schedule," he muttered and I looked at him for a few seconds but it didn't last long because his eyes are always intimidating me.

I am glad that Harry has read the chapter; I can't see him stopping for a moment only to read a couple of pages that must be very boring for him. Honestly I never saw him do homework, possibly only once.

What makes me feel more nervous about the work is the fact that we will have to spend time together. I don't know if he should go to my house because Mom wouldn't like it. And I don't feel comfortable in his house with his friends. I would like to have another partner but I'm the loser which no one wanted, not even Eric.

I shouldn't be so ungrateful because Harry wanted me as his partner and I don't know if I should be flattered or ashamed by that. Possibly he didn't want anyone else and I was the last option. A shame but that's the truth. Or maybe he thinks he will work less because I'm a nerd. I'm not going to take control of everything and do it myself; I’m not like that, he certainly will have to work as well.

In language we are analyzing poems and everything they contain. Next week we have to bring one, the one we want. I wonder what poem Harry is going to choose.

"Lucy, can I ask you a question?" Styles spoke and leaned his hands on my notebook.

I poked with the tip of my pen in his cross tattoo but his hands didn't let go my notebook.

"Nope, baby."

My eyes fluttered toward him due to the nickname he used and I pushed my chair back a little to establish some distance between us.

“Sure.”

"Do you think that people are able to forgive?" He kept one hand on my notebook and his others fingers rested on his chin.

"Yes."

"Do you think...that...that you could forgive me?" His voice came softly and low.

Suddenly there is a lot of tension flowing between us, I see it on Harry's face, in his posture and I can also feel it in my whole body.

"I don't know," I replied.

I wasn't not going to say “yes” or “no” because both are strong and completely opposite answers, however, I feel like I'm standing in the middle of the two roads. I've never been in a situation like this and certainly the experience can help you to know yourself. If I'm honest I don't know if I could forgive him.

"Styles and Fray, is there anything you wish to share with the rest of the class?" I heard our teacher and I swallowed. Most of our classmates were watching us.

"It's probably more interesting than your class," Harry replied and grabbed his backpack.

"Styles and Fray, both out, now."

I picked up my notebook and my pen and Harry held my bag for me.

I looked at my feet as we walked out and once we are outside I frown at Harry.

"Wasn't necessary to answer in that way," I muttered and my stomach started to make noise.

"Are you hungry? I got this," he asked ignoring my complaint.

Harry pulled a banana out of his backpack and I refused.

"I have an apple."

Harry handed me my bag and I took a bite of my apple.

"Let's walk," Harry said and I had no choice but to follow him.

I finished my apple and my stomach kept making noises.

"You can have it, I have another," Harry told me and stretched towards me the fruit.

I didn't want to accept it but it was food, I couldn't say no.

"Thanks," I muttered.

I took a big bite of the banana and Harry was looking at me. I chewed the piece before being able to speak.

"We can share it, if you want.”

He shook his head, rejecting my suggestion.

"So?"

"Harry, if it is the same question the answer is I don't know."

I bit another piece of the banana and Harry sent a quick glance towards me.

"So it's a good answer?"

"To be honest it's a neutral answer, Harry."

"Then everything could happen," I stopped to look at him and I didn't understand what is going on with him.

If my answer was so neutral then he is right, anything could happen.

"I think so."

He sent his best dimpled smile and he is too cute to be true.

"Great," he said as his fingers brushed my right shoulder and fixed my cardigan.

"You look cute today, Lucy," he let out from his mouth and his eyes scanned me.

It's the same look that Cassie mentioned..., is he looking at my body?

"I-I think we should discuss about the work," I said and started walking.

Harry shoved his hands into the pockets and followed me. We divide our parts and find out a little more on the internet using our phones. He is responsible, I'm impressed.

We chatted a little more about the chapter and Harry asked his doubts, after that we left for our classes. Harry offered to take me but I refused right away.

I sat next to Marcel and hugged him. Now I feel more relaxed, every time I'm with Harry my whole body is too tense.

"Hi," he smiled and I did it too. "Ready to help again in the library?"

"Yes, and we need to study."

"Yes, but I feel ready."                    

I rested my head on his shoulder and sighed. After spending an hour with Harry I really needed a moment with my friend or someone that makes me feel comfortable.

+

Marcel and I bought a quick lunch and then we headed to the library. We keep all the books in its place, we did it together and it was more fun. He talked about new video games and I heard everything amused about his opinions and the new information that he was giving me.

He commented about my dress and I couldn't answer anything about it. We ended up with the books and then we sat down to study.

We were really focused on what we were doing until some hands rested against our table. I looked up and Mandy was looking me with red eyes.

"Are you—?"

"No, I need you," my friend told me and I got up right away.

"I'll take care of your things," Marcel said and I nodded.

Mandy grabbed my hand and led me to a library aisle. She hugged me and I patted her back gently.

"What happened?"

"Ryan," she murmured and I didn't say anything.

I let her cry on my shoulder and once she calmed down I gave her a tissue that was in the pocket of my cardigan.

"We broke up and this time is for real," she said without looking at me and I put my hand on her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry."

"It was horrible, I didn't want to but-but he gave me no choice," she cried harder and I hugged her again.

"You'll be fine. After school we can go to my house and I don't know, we can do things," I offered and she nodded.

"I need to study," she murmured into my shoulder and I let her go. "We have a test now I was barely able to study because of that idiot."

I sighed and grabbed her hand. It was better not to talk now because it could be worse for her and because she had to study.

Mandy went to wash her face and then went to get a book.

"How do I look?" She asked to me and Marcel when she returned to the table.

"Nice."

"Beautiful," said Marcel and Mandy smiled at us.

Her eyes were red and also her nose and she looked really bad but we can't say that.

We immerse ourselves in silence, Marcel and I were very concentrated but Mandy was not really reading her notebook. I handed her another tissue and she wiped her tears. She was looking very awful.

We study everything we could until it was time to do the test. Marcel and I talked a bit but Mandy was completely absent.

"To be honest I'm not ready, my mind is not here," she told me and I wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"Focus and try to give the best of you. And don't think about anything else, okay? " I said with a smile and she nodded.

+

Marcel hugged Mandy and I walked towards Cassie.

"Cassie, I need your help."

"I can't go, there is a family dinner and my grandma is here," she sighed. "But I can help tomorrow; I will call tonight her, okay?"

I sighed and looked at Marcel then back to Cassie.

"I can't do this alone, I suck with words and I have zero experience in love, you're better than me."

"I'll call her tonight. You take her to a movie or dinner or your house, something simple but private. "

I nodded and then we walked back to Mandy. Marcel and Cassie escorted us to her car and then they said goodbye.

"Are you sure you can drive?" I asked and Mandy nodded.

If I could I would drive. We decided to go to the movies, I bought food with the rest of the money I had and then we went to watch the movie. I chose an action movie, it was good but sometimes Mandy started to cry and I didn't know what to do more than give her the tissues that I had in my bag.

Once the movie was over we walked around the mall but Mandy didn't want to be here but didn't want to go home. So of course I offered my house and we left.

I was scared because she was crying a lot while driving. I was very worried about her and sad for the whole situation. She's a good girl, why would Ryan break up with her?

We went to my house and no one was there as always. Mandy sat on the couch and I went for a glass of water for her.

I handed her the glass and she drank in silence. I sat and waited for a few seconds to speak.

"It would be good to talk, I could help you," I whispered.

"I still can't believe it. I thought it was going to work, I had a lot of hopes."

"Remember, he is not the only."

"But he was special, Ryan was very special to me," my friend told weakly and wiped her tears.

"Wait a second."

I ran to my room and grabbed a box of tissues; Mandy needs this more than me.

"Here," I handed the box and sat on the other couch. "You can continue."

"It's difficult to talk; it was a very difficult decision. We always had problems, our complications but he's very stubborn and his attitude sometimes is unbearable, you should know because he was your friend. "

"Yes, you're right," I nodded with a faint smile. To be honest I don't know how is Ryan anymore, we are not friends.

"It's extremely painful, how could you stand it?" She looked at me with her red eyes and I moved uncomfortable on the couch.

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, you know...when Harry...when that happened. Forget it, I shouldn't say that, Lucy. "

I bit my lower lip and my throat was dry. I don't like talking about it and yes, it is extremely painful.

We heard the door bell and I don't know who could it be, all members of the family are working right now.

I got up and Mandy walked to the window. She moved with her ​​fingers the curtain just a little and then she stared at me, her eyes were very big.

"It's Harry."

"What?" I froze a few inches from the door.

"It's him," Mandy said and we heard the bell again.

I have no idea what he could be doing here. We didn't talk about doing the work today so this is very weird.

"I'll be waiting here," Mandy sat on the couch and I nodded.

I gulped the lump of my throat and opened the door.

"Heyy," he tells me and looks agitated.

"What happened?"

"Ahm, I have to tell you something."

"I'm listening," I say when he says nothing.

"Fine, but first don't freak out, okay? Just listen," I nodded and he had one hand behind his back. "I brought you this," he stretched towards me a daisy.

"For me?" I looked in shock at the flower and the tattooed boy nodded.

"Daisies should be more appreciated, but they are simple and beautiful like you, Lucy," he said and I grabbed the flower.

My eyes and ears can't believe what I'm seeing and what I'm hearing. What is happening?

"I don't know how to say it. Okay, hm, I was watching Sherlock and then I was on the internet and you know that there are people who imagine them as a couple?"

I raise my eyebrows and I am sure that I am sending a look of pure confusion towards him.

"No, I didn't, that's weird. Anyway, I prefer them as best friends, they need—"

"I need you," he interrupted me and I think my heart stopped beating. "I need you, just like Sherlock and Watson need each other. I mean, Watson was lost and broken and when he meets Sherlock his life never was the same again and Sherlock's life changed too. Translated to our version I am Watson and you're my Sherlock. I know this comparison is weird and confusing, maybe stupid but what I'm trying to say is that since I met you life has taken another meaning. They need each other in every case like I need you back with me, just you and nobody else."

Am I dreaming? Oh my God, Jesus Christ. I pinched my leg and the pain that I feel shows that this is very real.

"To sum it all, I'm totally in love with you Lucy but I never wanted to admit it because I always wanted to stay in my own bubble, to the life and the people that I believed to belong but I was wrong. Everything that I thought was a lie but you're the only real and positive about this. I know I don't deserve your love but I want you so much in my life, I will protect you and I will never hurt you, I-I want you to be happy with me and I am sure about my love for you.”

His words came out with incredible fluidity of his mouth so fast that it seems as if he had held everything for too long.

I'm on the verge of shock and I think Harry is waiting for me to say something but I can't, he caught me off guard. I raised a finger at him as a sign of "wait" and then I walked into the house. My backpack is on the couch and Mandy has her eyes on me.

"I heard everything, and holy shit," Mandy muttered and I didn't know what to answer.

I grabbed my inhaler and applied a dose in me.

"Lucy, are you okay?" Harry spoke and he is standing at the door. "Hi Mandy," he greeted her and she just half smiled.

I walked back to Harry and he stepped back. My eyes fluttered toward him and this beautiful boy just said...said he is in love with me. How am I supposed to feel? How am I supposed to react to this?

"If you are not going to say something I'll keep talking, Lucy. "

I froze, I didn't move just like a statue. This can't be real; Harry and his words can't be real.

"I'm sorry for everything I did, I'm really sorry and I need to talk to you about it. I-I don't know what to say, I want to express everything but I can't. I've noticed you make me feel nervous because you can reject me now and that would be the worst that could happen, also you've moved on with your life and I can see it but the problem is that I can't do it without you. "

Jesus Christ, this is too much for me.

"Why now?" I whispered, finally being able to speak. This is the real question that I need to know. "Why now?" I repeated.

"Because I'm the dumbest person in the whole world. I needed clues; I needed to learn a thing or two to realize that I'm in love with you."

In love with me?

My brain can't process this information. My hands sweat and I wish I could disappear.

Harry's fingers glide through his ear expansion and then he throws his hands into the pockets.

"I know this is unexpected but I needed to say it. You're lovely and wonderful and too good to be true. I miss you, I miss everything about you, Lucinda."

At this point my heart is melted. Harry's words are hanging in the air and I don't know if I should pick it up or dropping them. I'm speechless, completely mute. I thought everything was over between us but now he appears out of nowhere and says these things and the walls I built are starting to shake. I'm angry with him but now curiosity and this unexpected happiness are trying to hold onto my heart.

"Harry, don’t you think it's too late?" I let out another of the questions that need a specific response.

"I know, but maybe is not so late. Actually, you shouldn't ask that question because time won't make me quit. Working together could help us and I also have ideas."

Ideas? He is not going to quit?

"Harry, you can't just show up and say this and expect things to get better," I confessed despite his words.

"I know, I'm aware of that but I want you back and I need you to give me a chance, Lucy. I'm not going to ruin it."

An opportunity. It is a difficult decision and a decision that involves many factors. Deciding to give Harry a chance can open or close doors. This is a circle.

This confession made ​​my world upside down. I'm a mess of feelings, hopes but with sadness and negativity. There are a lot of things circulating and cutting through me. The whole situation is very overwhelming.

It's been so long and these words were all I wanted to hear, from the beginning in my mind I always wanted to be loved by Harry. Now finally I can hear it but I don't know whether to believe them or not, I don't know if the time is right and whether it would be right for me.

Salty tears are poured from my eyes and it's impossible not to be sensitive to this problem when many things have happened between us. We have a whole story and those pages will not be torn or removed easily.

"Don't cry, Lucy," Harry said and took a step towards me.

"No," I stepped back and kept my distance. "Don't get close," I took off my glasses and wiped some tears and tried to clear my mind.

"Don't cry, I'm sorry but you needed to hear the truth, I couldn't hold it anymore."

"Can you say 8 things about me?" I asked and he looked at me confused.

"Yeah, you're adorable and cute--"

"No, not that. About my personality, whether positive or negative."

"Hm, you're kind, you're…supportive…”

It took him too much to think, I see that he is trying so hard to answer. If Harry ask me I could say positive or negative aspects of his personality without hesitation. If he really was in love with me he could say it. Harry seems lost and I needed to see that to doubt of each word he just said to me, he's lying and this is a joke, a sick joke.

"...You are faithful and—"

"I need you to go," I whispered and closed my eyes, letting more tears spilling over my face.

"Lucy, I have things to—"

"I need you to leave!" I shouted angrily and I am a hurricane full of opposites and mixed feelings. "Stop lying and leave me alone!" I snapped and closed the door.

This couldn't be true; he can't appear out of nowhere and say that he has feelings for me. It is impossible. I don't want to play his games, I don't want to be part because I'm hurt and I don't think I can trust him. My heart is beating incredibly fast and everything sounded very beautiful but he must be confused, maybe he is feeling sorry for me and this is his stupid and irrational way to fix it.

My hands covered my mouth and I sobbed. I shuddered once I heard the doorbell and it was obvious he wouldn't leave so easily.

"Lucy, open the door," I heard his hoarse voice and I leaned my forehead against the wood.

"Go away!" I screamed and banged on the door with my fist. "Leave me alone!"

"Lucy, come on, open the door, we can talk about this!" He spoke calmly and part of me wanted to open the door but the other refused. “I want you back,” he whispered and my heart can’t take it.

"Get out!" I blurted out and my throat hurt. "Go away!"

I heard no more. My legs were weak and I collapsed on the ground. Mandy hugged me and my sobs were violent and uncontrolled.

This affected me too much, affected my entire system and now I feel completely miserable and unarmed.

Everything was a big storm for me and hit me with a shot. Everything that was hidden deep down in me is coming out; my feelings for Harry still exist and are real.