[Lucy]

I was not sick but I felt like I was. My throat still hurt, my voice was not as always and it hurt to swallow food. I wore the scarf all the time and I hated to see the marks of his fingers on my skin. It was hard to sleep, in my nightmares he strangled me and I could clearly see the way my body fell and how life slipped from my fingers. I died, every night in my nightmares I died because of him. He is a very sick person and it scares to think that there are more people out there like Taylor.

I told Madison that he would not return what he stole and I didn't tell her about the marks on my neck. She cried and thanked for what I tried to do. She was a bit devastated; the next day there was no expression on her face.

Now that I can sit and think what I did was stupid, I took a risk to go there and talk to a complete stranger. Although I have to admit I didn't think that it would end up with me being strangled. Normal people don't do that, but I have to repeat myself that this guy is dangerous as Eric and Harry said. I wish I could hit him at least once.

I couldn't go to boxing classes but I just want to go back. I need to hit something, my body is begging for it. I need to expel everything that is deposited in my skin and my mind. Slowly I realized that I created a list of enemies, it's not very long but it's obvious who is in: Bob and men who work for him and of course Taylor. In my mind I destroy them, in my tortured, scared but brave mind I hit them and I have no mercy.

It scares me to have these thoughts because I don't want to be a person full of hate but it's inevitable.

I comb my hair with my fingers and place my hair in front of my shoulders and with the scarf I manage to hide the marks.

I brushed my teeth and cleaned my glasses. I made my way back to my room and put on my cardigan and grabbed my backpack.

I went to the kitchen and Mike was having a cup of coffee.

"Good morning," I said and searched for a yogurt in the refrigerator.

"Good morning, Lucy. In the afternoon with your mother we will be free and I was wondering if you'd like to eat with us. "

We talked a little more after what happened with Madison. It was difficult but Mike apologized to me for what I saw and he said Madison deserved after all she said. I decided to accept because I didn't want any conflict in the house but I think Madison is already big enough and doesn't need a slap from her father.

"Just us?"

"I think Madison will also go," he spoke and didn't smile, not excited for the presence of his own daughter.

"Okay," I grabbed an apple and threw it inside my bag.

I had a message from Adam on my phone, he was outside.

"I have to go, see you later," I kissed Mike's cheek and then quickly left the house.

Josh's car was waiting for me. I greeted the tattooed boy and got into the back seat next to Adam.

"Hello and thanks," was the first thing I said.

"Mom baked some cookies and we also have donuts," Adam raised a paper bag in his hand and I smiled. "What do you want?"

"A donut."

I grabbed the donut and pinched it with two fingers. It was easier to eat because it was soft so it would not hurt so much to swallow. I chewed a piece too small and closed my eyes while swallowing.I feel like the donut slides and scrape the walls of my throat, it hurts a lot. I hate Taylor.

"How's school, Lucy?" Josh always asks the same question and he makes me feel like a little girl.

"It's okay, nothing interesting," I shrugged. "How's your tattoo shop?"

"Giving me money, as always," he smiled. "Yesterday one of Harry's friends came and I kicked him out right away, they are no longer allowed in my shop."

"Oh."

I didn't know exactly what to say.

"I'll probably learn to tattoo," Adam's words caught my attention. 'Do you like that? "

"I think it's great have something on your skin for the rest of your life."

"Maybe one day I could make you one," Adam smiled.

"I wouldn't be able to do one, it must hurt," I shook my head and realized that we were near my school.

"Too bad. How is your friend Marcel? "

"He's fine, and he got over the fact that he didn't win the competition and now he's playing an online game to overcome his disappointment for chess."

"A game on the internet?" Adam tried not to laugh and I lifted my big eyebrows. "Don't you think he is a little big for that?"

My opinion was not the same as Adam, the game Marcel was playing on the internet was very good and I started to play it yesterday.

"I think it's awesome," I muttered and wonder what Adam would think if he knew that I play too.

We got to school and I kiss the cheek of Adam and Josh and got off the car.

"Lucy, wait!" Adam shouted from the window of the back seat. I don't know why he screamed if I walked just a few steps from the car. "Do you want to dinner this week?"

"Dinner?" I tilted my head to one side. "A dinner with your family?" I asked and Josh covered his mouth with one hand. "Is he laughing?"

"Ignore him. A dinner but you and I, "Adam spoke with his eyes on my face.

"Fine."

"Really!?" Adam's smile grew and I nodded, no big deal just dinner. "Awesome, I'll call you later."

I waved at him and then I turned to walk to school. The wind blew my scarf trying to move it but quickly my fingers were placed on the fabric.

I tried to eat another small piece of the donut and I spotted Billy walking in front of me.

"Hi Billy!" I greeted and reached him. I don't know him very well but he's a quiet boy.

"Hi Lucy," he kissed my cheek and closed his notebook. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, and you?"

"Fine and ready for this test," he sighed. "Who was that guy? Are you dating someone?” He gently pushed his shoulder with mine and I shook my head.

"A friend invited me to dinner just that, ”I responded with my fingers still clutching the scarf.

“Awesome.”

We said goodbye halfway and each one went to class. Later Cassie tried to convince me to go to Emily's class but I refused. The physic test is next week and there were people that really didn't understand and the teacher allowed assistantship and Emily wanted to do it. She is very good and everybody go, and there are many guys I think they all go to watch Emily than to learn.

I do calculus and geometry but not many people go, I guess most of my classmates are allergic to anything that has to do with the word "math". Niall and Liam went once and both fell asleep. It's better when I teach kids, is more fun.

"I know you don't want but I have to go, physics is like my nightmare," Cassie said grabbing the book I gave it to her.

"No problem."

"Hey, did you think about—?"

"The answer is still no."

"Come on, Lucy, it will be great!" Cassie said. "I'm trying to help."

"I'm not crazy!"

"Talk to the school counselor does not make you crazy, it is to help."

"I do not need help."

"You barely tell us like 1% of the things that happen in your life, talk to a professional could make you feel better, Lucy."

That's true but I won't admit it. I think if I tell Cassie everything that has happened she would freak out, so Mandy and Marcel would have a heart attack so that's the reason why I can't. I also think I would not be able to talk about it, is very personal.

"And what would I say?"  I raised my eyebrows.

"Whatever you want. Having a confidant is good, you know. I came a couple of times with the school counselor before she got fired but I bet that this new girl is good too. "

“I'm fine,” I replied. I am super good with some horrible fingerprints on my neck.

"You've been acting weird lately and don’t say no," Cassie said before I had a chance to talk. "You've been going out with Adam a lot which is good but I don't know and the other day you-know-who talked to you."

"You-know-who?"

"Yes, Styles is like Voldemort. Good nickname, don't you think? "

I would never think of something like that, I must admit that she has a huge imagination to come up with such nicknames.

"And what did he say?"

I stared at Cassie and as always I have my doubts about answering or not.

"Please tell me, I'm your best friend!" She pouted.

"Hm, okay. I was waiting to buy a chocolate and Harry came over and tried to establish a normal conversation—“

"Oh Jesus Christ, really?" I nodded and Cassie waited for more.

"I ignored him, told him I had an invisibility cloak and told him to ignore me and he laughed and looked at me and it was intimidating," I sighed.

"How did he look at you?" Cassie seemed more than excited about this.

"Does it really matter?"

"Of course! How? "

I tried to think and remember and it was not that hard.

"Hm, he—"

"Wait!" Cassie interrupted me. "Did he look at you like this?" Cassie smiled and her eyes scanned me twice and then she looked me straight in the eye.

"Something like that."

"Wow! Lucy, Harry was looking at your body—"

"What? No! "I shook my head."It was a very quick look and then he just looked into my eyes and it was very intimidating," I shrugged.

"I am 100% sure he likes you." 

"Cassie, you must be joking,” I rolled my eyes. "You have some crazy ideas in your head."

"I didn't say I support that, I dislike Harry but I'm sure he likes you."

"No way, plus we are partners in this biology work."

"Really? That means you will have to spend more time together, "she said surprised and I nodded tired. "Too bad, be cold and ignore him, treat him like the worm he is."

"Yeah, sure, I will," I yawned. "I'll go to the library."

"Well, see you later and please think about the school counselor, it would be good to you," I rolled my eyes and Cassie left.

+

[Harry]

I was actually trying to study, but on my way to the cafeteria which meant I had five minutes to study. Once I can smell the food I closed the book and opened the door.

I left my backpack with my friends and a girl came up to ask me if I knew someone who sell ecstasy. I gave the name of a guy from here that I know that sells it and she left. I went to the lunch line and clasped my hands together behind my back.

I looked around me and I spotted Billy with Lucy. She nodded, he kissed her cheek and left. In my mind I was screaming: What the hell?!

He's like my detective, I don't understand why he's talking to Lucy and kissing her cheek. And what about Lucy? Now everyone can kiss her cheek? She's getting very bold.

I crossed my arms very irritated about this whole situation and I wish I could kick Billy's ass, we'll have a serious conversation later.

A few minutes later I turned to find Lucy on the line but behind several people. She was tapping her foot as her gaze was on the ground as usual. I glared at her and magically Lucinda looked up. I called her with the index finger and her eyes widened in surprise.

She didn't move from her position and I was a bit annoyed.

"What were you doing with Billy?" I wondered aloud and some people looked at us.  Lucinda frowned but still didn't move. Awesome.

I threw my hands into my pocket and stood beside her. Lucinda backed up putting some distance between us.

"Since when do you know Billy?" No answer, she looked away and I needed to break one of those fucking trays they give us at lunch. "Now you're not going to talk?" I tried to sound angry but I think my voice betrayed me.

"My private life," she answered with precise words.

"We have a job to do," she nodded. "When are we going to start?"

"I don't know."

"We're a team and I say it should be today."

"I can’t, I'm busy."

I wonder if today she will be with Adam.

"Tomorrow?"

"All right."

"My place or yours?"

"Your place."

"Okay. I was thinking we could eat ice cream, of course, if you want, "Lucy looked at me with no expression on her face.

"I don't think so, bye, Harry," she left the line and walked away from me.

I deserve her coldness but is one of the worst feelings I've ever felt. Where is a tray to break when you need it?

Lunch and the rest day in the school was complete shit. I wanted to go home and lock myself in my room with Sherlock. I hope I can watch a Harry Potter marathon because I always find it in TNT.

I haven't forgotten the fact that I have to talk to Billy so while I'm walking to my car I look around. To my surprise Billy is in front of my car and waiting to tell me about Lucinda.

"What's up?" I asked without looking at him.

"She didn't lunch, she was in the library and she has a dinner with a friend."

"A friend?" Billy nodded. "Do you know his name?"

"I tried to find out but I couldn't."

"Yeah, thanks. Now I have something to talk to you, Billy, "I frowned."Honestly Billy, what the hell?! I saw you with her today! What are you trying to do?" I took one step towards him and Billy stepped back.

"Calm down, I'm not trying to do anything."

"Put your head in the game, Billy! I'm giving you some tests and you need to give me information about her and not kissing her on the cheek," I gave him a slap on the back of his head and Billy shuddered, what anidiot.

"I thought that would be a good way to get more information, and she is very kind—"

"I already know how kind Lucy is!" I cut him off and grabbed the keys to my car. "You have been warned, Billy," I said before closing the door. I honked the horn so he stays away from my car and Billy walked toward the exit of the school.

+

I put my striped shirt just when I heard the doorbell. I tried to fix my hair and I grabbed Sherlock's cage.

"I'm coming!" I said when I heard the bell again. I left the cage on the table and ran towards the door. "Lucy?" Was the first thing I could say as soon as I saw her.

"Hi," she half smiled and walked in.

I am completely amazed by what she is wearing. A dress, Lucy is wearing a damn dress. It's white, up to her knees along with some details at the end of the dress and black sandals. It's pretty simple and adorable but not her common way to dress. Why is she dressed like that?

"Why are you dressed like that?" I asked still in the door with my hand on the handle, I haven't moved from my position.

"I have a dinner," she left her purse on the table and opened Sherlock's cage.

I managed to close the door and walked to the table without taking my eyes off her.

"With your family?" She nodded but I know she's lying, I remember Billy said she would have dinner with a friend.

Why is she looking like this just to see Adam? The strange feeling stirs my stomach and makes me feel really bad.

"I brought the chapter the teacher assigned us so we can read it and try to divide the parts," she pulled out from her bag a bundle of papers and I nodded.

"Are you going to a fancy dinner or—?"

"Is this too much? I-I didn't know what to wear. "

"No, it's simple, I like it," I admitted and a feeling stronger than me was pounding through my body.

Lucinda gave me a copy of the chapter; she grabbed her chapter and began to read with her arms resting on the table. As she read very concentrated my eyes scanned her. She is not wearing a braid, she has a black scarf and her long hair is above her shoulders.

Her fingers slide across her forehead, she tucks a few strands behind her ear, sometimes she wrinkles her nose or nods while reading. She fixes her glasses and her chest is moving very slowly according to her weak and quiet breathing.

Lucy sneezed and I looked away.

"Sorry," she muttered fixing her glasses. "Harry, are you reading?" She raised her eyebrows.

I didn't even know the title of the chapter, as she read I was staring at her shamelessly.

"Yes, absolutely," I put the papers on the table and accidentally mixed all the pages.

"And what is it?"

I tried to order the pages and managed to find the first page.

"Replication and transcription of DNA," I read and just showed my eyes, lowering the page just a bit.

"It's not that hard but not so easy, do you have any idea what you want to do?" I shook my head and left the paper on the table.  "Keep reading and we can talk when we're done."

She focused on reading and I could barely read the first paragraph. I can't pay attention to this, I can't do it and it's her fault. She is looking simple but adorable, and not just now she always has been adorable.

"I can't concentrate," she looked up and pressed her lips into a thin line.

"Why? We need to do this. "

I opened my mouth to say a compliment but the words get stuck in my throat and I don't deserve to say it, I don't deserve Lucy and not even as a partner.

"It's nothing," I mumbled and pretended to read.

"I'll get a glass of water, do you want one?" She got up and I nodded. She removed her jacket and walked into the kitchen.

I got up quietly and carefully poked my face into the kitchen. Lucinda poured water into two glasses while writing something on her phone.

I returned to my seat and she handed a glass of water.

"Harry, I have things to do and we still have plenty of time to do this presentation so I have to leave in about an hour, I hope you don't mind."

I was being...replaced and I have never been replaced, but what a disgusting, stormy and painful feeling. No, actually, I've been, I have been replaced by my parents for their work and for their own lives and now Lucy replaced me for Adam.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and just nodded. She was forgetting this presentation and she was leaving me for a stupid boy. It is not a surprise and I shouldn't complain knowing that I am a complete asshole.

"The information here is good but I think we should find out more about the enzymes and that sort of thing, okay?" She spoke completely unaware of what I was thinking.

"Yes, we should do it now, that's why you should stay..., with me," I spoke slow and discouraged.

I was making an invitation; my words incited something I knew it was more than to just ask Lucy to stay with me to make this work.

"I can't," she responded right away and coldly. "Also I assume you have things to do, maybe see Emily or go out with friends."

"I'm not with Emily," I blurted out. "We are not together anymore."

She looked at me and nodded, biting her lower lip. "Sorry about that."

The wall that separates us grew even more and I know I can't jump it or climb it. The wall she built is simple but high enough to let me hopeless.

"Did you like the tube I bought to Sherlock?"

"Yes, he seems to like."

"I was thinking about buying a bigger cage," she said, stroking the fur of the little hamster.

"Do whatever you want," I muttered.

She ignored my comment and played with Sherlock. She looked happy as my thoughts about her and Adam were killing me. Is she happy now because she is going to see Adam? How many times on the  week she sees him? And what will they do? What if he has tried to do something? What if he already kissed her?...This is torture, there is no better word to describe the agitated stream of my thoughts.

I hate that she's making me feel completely miserable just because she has a dinner. I wonder if she still feels pain and hate, maybe that would be all I could get from Lucy and I realize that's the worst part.

She looks happy with Sherlock but I know and I can see that every time I talk all I get is emotionless eyes, distant words and short sentences. The last good memory was three days ago when she laid her head on my shoulder. Why did she do that? It doesn't matter; I deserve all this confusion and bitter feelings.

She looked at the window and my eyes landed on her freckles, freckles I'm always watching either on purpose or naturally. My mind becomes very muddy and full of different and rather complex thoughts but I know and I have always known that I adore Lucy's freckles. They are natural, beautiful and in my opinion there is symmetry. I could connect the freckles, not with a pencil, but with my fingers or my lips...

The sound of her phone was something I was not expecting. I am kicked out from my thoughts as Lucy answered the call. I grabbed Sherlock from her hands and her fingers are small, thin and soft. She didn't seem to notice my fingers rubbing her fingers but I did.

"Please read the chapter," she said and grabbed her bag and jacket and stood up.

Don't go. "Don't go," I spoke my mind.

"I'm sorry but I have things to do," she said before heading to the door.

I was being replaced.

Lucinda walked out the door and I followed her.

"Harry, I'm fine, I can walk alone," she said when she noticed my presence.

"I suppose you're going to take taxi, let me walk you to the corner," I offered politely but I just wanted to see Adam and maybe punch him in the face for taking Lucy away.

A car stopped in front of us and Adam got off the car.

"Hey, can we go?" She asked softly and he glared at me. "The direction I gave you was three blocks away from here."

"Lucy, you didn't tell me you were here with him."

So she lied to him too, I can understand why.

"It doesn't matter, shall we?" She walked to the car but Adam didn't move.

"What are you doing with her? Don't you think that's enough? "He crossed his arms over his stupid sweater.

"I don't think it's your fucking problem."

"Yes, it's my problem because I think you hurt her enough. Why don’t you just leave her alone?

I should ask the same question but I can't, I can't stay away from her. If I could I would not have forced our teacher to make her my partner.

"Great that you have nothing to say, you should stay like this because honestly every time you talk is just crap," Lucy grabbed his hand and tried to pull her friend.

"Shut up kid or I'll use your fucking face to clean your car," I barked and clenched my fists.

"You have no right to threaten me, you sick idiot. You're lucky she says hello to you because you don't deserve even a single piece of Lucy,” he spoke and she put her hand on Adam's chest.

My mouth is dry and my fists are hurting. I will not show it but his words have destroyed me internally and reaffirmed my thoughts. I don't deserve a single piece of her, not even a simple "hello."

"You don't know shit, you think you're a big thing but you're a pathetic person. Why don't you hit me? Possibly because your brother is not here to defend you, you fucking coward, "I snapped angrily.

"I won't do it because Lucinda is here but be prepared because I will give you the beating of your life," he threatened, and I raised my arms a little to show I was waiting for him.

"Well, Adam, I'm leaving," Lucy muttered, but before she could walk away Adam grabbed her hand, and thoughts about breaking his wrist jumped into my mind.

"I'm sorry, let's go," he helped her to get into the car and Lucinda completely ignored my presence.

I stepped back and watched as the car disappeared around the corner.

I stood there for a couple of seconds. I walked back home, I placed Sherlock's cage on my desk and went downstairs. I looked at the chapter I had to read and then the glasses on the table. I threw the object and let it hit the kitchen wall. I shot the other glass and kicked the table.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I heard Zayn's voice from the stairs. He seemed pissed off like Niall, both shirtless and with cigarettes in their mouths.

"There are more people here and we were taking a nap!"

"But not together," Zayn said jokingly. "You will buy more glasses."

"Yes, and now we are awake, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Horan grabbed the cigarette between his fingers.

What was wrong with me? A couple of hours were a few things but now I feel is everything. There is a big weight on my shoulders and I was sinking and I know what it is, rather, I know exactly who is making me feel this way.

"Lucy left me to go to dinner with Adam," my mouth let out the thought I didn't want to say out loud.

Niall covered his mouth trying not to laugh. "You can't complain, things between you two are dead."

"You know what we need?" Zayn exhaled the cigarette smoke. "Before talking about the whole thing about girls, jealousy and love—"

"But is not—!"

"Shut up!" Niall interrupted my sentence. "What were you saying, Zayn?"

"We need a few beers before talking about all this, it's done, we are going out!" Zayn ran upstairs to get ready and I hugged my legs and rested my cheek on one of my knees.

"Ladies night!" Niall yelled as a joke before disappearing upstairs.

I'd rather read that boring chapter of biology, honestly going out was the last option on my list. All my thoughts were at that fucking dinner.

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