{Lucy}

Maybe it took time but I'm in love with you.

Lucy.

I hold the napkin between my fingers, the paper is dirty, worn, slightly torn on the sides but the words are intact and the message is clear, what I meant to say is clear and precise. My heart tightened in my chest as I keep looking at the paper in my hands, while I'm reading the message again and again.

"Don't you dare to talk to me again in your life!" I hear Harry's voice and he is on the entrance. I cough with sore lungs and a choked sob escapes from my mouth. "Goodbye Lucy!" His voice is clear and strong and so painful for me. His voice gives me the impulse to run and escape from there.

"You can't hide forever," I hear Luciana's voice, my brother's girlfriend.

"I'm not hiding,"

"Being here in London, yes you are...but I don't blame you. Want to talk?"

"About what?"

"About everything or nothing, you decide and I hear," she closes the door to my room and the only light that illuminates is the one that comes from my window.

Talk, talk now becomes difficult. Express, let out words, confess, it's difficult because you can remember, because your memory is there to give you a fresh picture of what happened in the past.

I rest my fingers on the window and then my cheek. I relax for a few seconds, I close my eyes and forget that Luciana is here.

"Lucy tell me, you have barely spoken since you got here,"

"I told you what happened,"

"I know, I know, I'm just trying to help,"

I open my eyes and sigh.  Help? HELP?!

"Help with what? You can't help! I'm in love with a guy who broke my heart! What can you say or do to make me feel better? Nothing! "I almost yell and immediately I regret my behave. "I-I'm sorry,"

"Come here," Luciana hugs me and I begin to sob on her shoulder. "You have many things inside of you, I understand if you don't want to talk, but don't forget I'm here to listen,"

I cover my face with my hands and tried to control my tears. Luciana keeps me in her arms until I control my sob. Here in London, hidden away from my house and I with Luciana I feel better...just a little.

"I think it's almost time for dinner, are you hungry?" I shake my head. "Eat a little, share with the family, you'll need before you leave,"

"Can I stay here for a moment?"

"Sure, I'll hold distract your family," she kisses my cheek and then leaves me alone in my room.

I wipe my tears and keep the napkin in my bag. I am not able to dump it in the trash or destroy it with my own fingers. I'm not capable of many things and it's been three months since that night. I haven't spent three months here in London I only arrived a week ago because I couldn't stand school, my friends, my family, my heart and my mind couldn't stand everything. Nobody judged me when I got here, my dad and Luciana were happy about it.

In the bathroom I wash my face, I do my typical braid and stay a few minutes until my face looks as normal as possible. When I feel a little better I go to the dining room.

"Why took you so long Lucy? We were waiting for you! "Christine says as soon as she sees me. Christine is the girlfriend of my father and I hate her. I shouldn't feel this way about her but it is inevitable, I just don't like her.

"We bought Chinese food," my father kisses my forehead before taking his seat at the table.

"Great," I sit next to Luciana. She looks at me and I can read the question on her, I nod to say that I feel fine.

Luciana believes in my gesture so easy that it disappoints me a little; feeling and being well are totally different situations.

The food is delicious but I just take a few bites. My father exchanged a few words with Christine, my brother Daniel shares some jokes and everyone laugh except me. Once dinner ends I helped with the dishes, I volunteer to do it alone and nobody objects.

I take my time and once everything is clean I say good night to my father and Christine and climb the stairs. In the hall I find Daniel waiting at the entrance of my room.

"Are you okay?" He asks and I sigh.

"Sure brother, why are you saying that?"

"I know you're quiet but you are quieter than usual,"

Is that even possible? If Daniel noticed then yes.

"Why did you come to London?"

"Does it bother you my presence?" I answer by asking another question.

"Of course not but I was curious,"

"I just wanted to visit you,"

"And we appreciate it, we really do. Sorry if I was rude, didn't mean to," Daniel opens his arms to me and I let him hug me. We're a few seconds like this and after that he kisses my forehead and goes to his room.

I grab a towel, my pajamas and go straight to the bathroom. I take a hot shower, my skin burns by hot water but I don't care. I wrap my hair with a towel and leave the bathroom. I think Luciana is with my brother, I go to his room and I hope I can talk to her. I don't want to interrupt anything so I rest my ear against the door and try to listen.

"I don't know how to talk to her,"

"You're not trying Daniel, it's your duty as his brother,"

"I can't believe my sister had a boyfriend and didn't tell me,"

"It's hard you know, especially for someone like Lucy, she's really quiet, discreet,"

"I know, sorry. So the idiot broke up with her?"

"Yeah, I told you that but I don't know the reasons,"

"Bastard, what was his name?"

"Harry,"

"Well, Harry must have meant a lot to Lucy because I'm sure he's one of the reasons why she's here in London,"

"That's a silly statement Daniel, she is here to see you and your dad,"

"Our relationship is almost broken, we barely talk."

"Don't say that Daniel what's wrong with you?"

"Stop defending her, Lucy chose our mother, that traitor"

"Don't say that about your mother! She has her reasons as you have yours for having chosen your father. You have to be more aware and empathetic,"

I back off, I've heard enough and I think it is not a good time to talk. I come back to my room and took a seat on the bed. The remote is next to me but I don't want to watch TV, my phone is off because I don't want news of anyone and I almost never use the computer so I have nothing to do.

I comb my hair and I stand in front of the window. The view from where we are is beautiful, I love it. Most days the whole world stops for me as I look through this window.

I hear a knock on my door, I don't want to see anyone but I can't avoid them.

"Come in,"

"Hey Lucy, oh you're wearing your pajamas, um I was wondering if you want to chat or watch a movie," Luciana and her offers.

"You told my brother," I whispered without turning back to her.

"You heard us? Crap. I didn't tell him everything, I left out information, I told him you had a boyfriend, his name but I didn't tell him what you broke up, "

"Of course you didn't tell him, my brother would take a plane just to personally kill...Harry if he knew," his name is like acid on my tongue.

"I thought it would be a good way to I don't know help your relationship with your brother,"

"I don't think that helps,"

"Yeah I know and I'm sorry, your brother is being unreasonable,"

She turns on the TV and that signal tells me she will stay here. Luciana is a great company, I like to share my time with her, I just wish she was in my school and not so far here in London.

+

My mother didn't pick me up at the airport, too busy with work. I take a taxi and the way back is eternal. It feels incredibly sad to be here. Being at the airport was horrible, the last time I was here was...with Harry. I remember the radio playing my song, I remember his smile, the kiss we shared before I leave, the way in which I didn't want to let him go and how nice he was with me that day. It was all a lie, a fraud. Don't cry, don't cry.

I remember when I came back, I asked him what he wanted to do and Harry said he wanted to be with me. It's a cozy and happy memory, so sweet and painful at the same time. Please don't cry.

I sigh as I hold back my tears. I didn't want to come back, I really wouldn't like to exist for a moment, not to exist until it's over until the pain fades away...but there is a problem, the pain does not go away, it's still here, firmly gripped onto my heart as well as all memories about Harry Styles.

+

School sucks and the sky is gray. These are the moments I want to be invisible, every time I walk here since that night people look at me. Some find it funny; others don't hold any other expression and other people look at me with...pity. Pity is the perfect word and I hate pity. It makes me feel even more miserable, if that's possible.

Marcel hugs me as soon he sees me. He remembers that night as clearly as I do. He didn't tell Harry's mother or to his family what happened because I told him that it wouldn't be appropriate, in addition to tell them would no help at all and beside it would be childish. Marcel faced Harry after I escaped that night, didn't end so well, of course Harry hit him...poor Marcel. I was angry, sad and helpless, I wanted to do something about it once I found out but Marcel didn't let me, it was not safe to get closer to Harry, not even thinking about him and my friend was absolutely right.

He talks about chess and tells me I should join the club with him and how fun it would be. He talks about any of the games we like and about Comic-con. Marcel speaks and he's trying so hard to distract me and make me feel better, he's been on this way for these 3 months. Marcel is so sweet and I am grateful to have him by my side.

Cassie is sick and Mandy is with Ryan so I stay with Marcel and the other guys, the same guys who were with me in the math contest. Even share with them makes me suffer because Harry was there with me in that contest. God, this is horrible, like a nightmare...a nightmare without end.

"Lucy you have barely touched your food, are you okay?"

Not really, I think I'm gonna throw up.

"I'm fine, I'll be right back," I apologize to Marcel. I get up and I almost ran to the bathroom.

Once I'm there I try to throw up but I can't do it. My stomach hurts and my throat has a bitter taste. I sit on the ground and the skin of my face is so cold. I hope I'm not sick. I wash my face and mouth and after that I go back to Marcel.

+

Another day in the world and as always Marcel is talking but I can't hear him. I watch my feet as we walk through the parking lot. School feels weird, like a distant and hostile place for me. The perception that I have around me is that I'm locked in a bubble, a bubble that I used to share with Harry. Worst of all is that I'm completely alone because Harry left me, he left me alone and trapped in this bubble. The idea shatters my heart.

"Are you listening to me Lucy?"

"No, I’m sorry, what did you say?" I gave him a soft smile even though I'm feeling awful.

"Your friend Mandy, do you know if she is fine?"

"Why do you say that?"

"She doesn't look very happy, I don't think things are going well with Ryan,"

"Really?"

"Yes Lucy, Mandy always looks angry or sad, have you even noticed her attitude?"

"Not really," I shrug. Mandy always looks normal or at least for me though she's talking less now that I think.

"Seriously Lucy?" Marcel stopped his walk. "You need to stop you know, you should stop all this. You've been blind for a long time and now you are free and you can return to be yourself and go back to your old life. There are more people around you, you should worry about them too, you're being selfish, don’t you think? "

His words hurt me; his tone is so rough and angry. Am I being selfish? No, of course not! Marcel didn't suffer and is not suffering as I am doing now, he wasn't humiliated as I was and he doesn't know what I'm feeling and experiencing. I'm not selfish, Marcel is and besides he is not being empathetic.

"You don't know what I'm feeling!" I raise my voice but not too much. "You weren't humiliated like me, you're not who has the heart-broken okay?" My voice is weak but I don't lose the volume. I won't cry, not in front of Marcel. "You need to be more empathetic, try to feel in my place and then you will know how bad I feel!" I want to push him but it wouldn't be fair, he's my friend.

I turn on my heel and start walking.

"Lucy, Lucy wait! Aren't you going with me? I can take you home,"

"I want to walk," I reply without looking at him.

"Your house is far Lucy! Come on, let me do that for you! "He says as he follow me behind.

"No thanks. Leave me alone Marcel," after those words I can no longer hear his footsteps.

I walk faster but soon my walk becomes a race. I don't know why I'm running, but I just do. It's ironic because I'm literally running from my problems, away from school and toxic people who go there. I run without stopping, my only obstacles are my sore lungs and dry throat. I try to catch my breath but my feet hurt so I only walk.

My house is 30 minutes from here, it doesn't bother me and I really don't want to get there, not yet. I wish I could do something but I don't want to eat ice cream, I don't want to go to my favorite bookstore, or even swim. Things that used to like are no longer of interest to me and my body feels with few energy reserves.

The streets through I walk are not very crowded. I cry but in silence and slow. It comes and goes my tears and the memories. It's torture and painful.

The napkin is in my bag, my fingers seek the paper and once I have it on my hand I read it.

Maybe it took time but I'm in love with you.

Lucy.

The sound of my cell phone interrupts the moment. I have a message from my mother, she needs me to come with her to the supermarket. I wipe my tears, I keep the napkin in my bag and then I take a taxi.

She sends me the address and that brings me to the city center. I get off the taxi and my mother is waiting for me with some bags hanging from her hands. She hugs me and I think she wants to go shopping. My thought is correct, my mother tries to buy some things to me and I nod my head with every garment she shows me. I don't want her to get mad at me and I think the best choice it’s to please her.

After a few hours of shopping, mom buys a cake in her favorite bakery and then we get in the car and she drives to the grocery store. She talks about the hospital, talks about the clothes she bought for her and for me and I smile a couple of times. She asks about the trip to London and I say it was good and that I had fun.

Mom was very kind with me, I still don't know how to thank for what she did. I told her I couldn't stay here and that I needed to get away for a couple of days. I know it's not right and it is unethical but she got me a certificate so I could not go to school those days. I would never approve to do that but I needed it so much and my mom said it was just this once. She knew she I wasn't feeling well, she knew about my breakup with Harry even though I didn't tell the whole truth. I never thought she would do that for me but I guess mothers are willing to do anything for their daughters.

The sky is already dark when we left the supermarket. Once we got home I grab the things we buy today and mom left, she received a call from the hospital and they need her.

I think Mike went to see his family and Madison is not here so it's just me. I leave my bag on the floor and I lay on my bed. My eyes are glued to the ceiling and I don't know how long I stay like this, my mind blank and just my body physically present in the room. When I get out of my trance I grab my pajamas and a towel and I headed to the shower.

I try to stay with a blank mind while I dry my hair. I get into my pajamas and then I leave the bathroom. I close the door and I shudder when I hear a loud noise. A glass, the sound of breaking glass and pieces falling to the ground. It's a sound near to me and immediately I recognize where it comes from, it's from my room.

I'm alone in the house and I can't understand why I just heard that. I'm scared and my heart beats fast but I don't believe in ghosts. The towel slips from my fingers and my steps are slow but guided me to my room. I gently push the door, the glass of my window is completely shattered and the pieces are sprinkled on the carpet of my room. Is this a joke or something? I look around and it's true, the glass of my window no longer exists.

My steps lead me towards my Madison's room, I open the window and poke my face outside. The street is quiet and empty, the houses have their lights on and people are inside. I swallow as I close the window with trembling fingers. Who did this and why? It couldn't be some kind of joke, not against me, nor against Madison. I'm scared because I think someone did this, it was not with the best intentions but I can't think of who did this, I barely talk to my neighbors and most of them have young children.

After seeking a broom and shovel I make my way upstairs. I turn on the light and now I can clearly see that there is a hidden brick between the pieces of glass and next to my desk. I swallow and suddenly I feel very nervous and scared.

My heart pounds in my chest as I move the pieces with the broom, I pick up the worn brick and it has something tied to it. I turn the object and there is a paper. My hands sweat as my fingers grip the paper and then open it. My breath hitched in my throat and I can feel a bitter taste in my mouth when I read the message. What's this?

The small piece falls from my fingers and I gulped the lump on my throat as the message of the paper is repeated in my head.

We're watching you Lucinda.

 +

Not the best chapter but bear with me. Now I guess you are all confused with the message, well it will be explained through the chapters.

Wattpad never let me choose the cast so in case you didn't know: Lucy> Lily Collins// Madison> Cara Delevigne // Taylor> Taylor Lautner // Emily> Taylor Momsen.

Thank you for read, lots of love!