LUCY

Fights look better on TV, honestly in real life is much more difficult, especially if it's your first fight. I've never been in favor of violence, I have never hit anyone and I haven't even killed a fly.

I don't know what to do so I grab her hand and Madison slaps me with her free hand. She pulled my hair and I do the same. It hurts so we both shouted.

"Bitch!" She screams pulling my hair harder. I want to cry because it hurts, the root of my scalp is like burning.

I try to get her out of me but it is difficult, even though she is skinny her weight is a lot to me. Maybe if I pulled her hair stronger she could give up.  I try to do it but Madison did the same as she tries to release her other hand of my grip.

"Get off me!" I screamed.

Madison releases my hair and places her hand on my neck and then she just squeezes. I can't let her strangle me, is she crazy or what?

I squirm violently on the floor while I try to shove Madison, she has to stop. I manage to slightly bend my neck and bite her wrist. She curses and her hand is away from my neck and I took advantage of her carelessness to shove her.

I take those seconds to breath, to exhale the air and to feel it in my lungs.

"Idiot!" Madison pulls my hair and in response to I scratch her face.

 She let out a moan and then she kicked me in the stomach and I see stars. The pain is so real and so deep, I choke as I try to breathe but the air doesn't enter in my lungs and my body falls to the ground.

"What is happening?” I heard the voice of my mother. For a moment I forgot the world and I think that Madison too because she looks shocked.

I'm breathing again and the relief travels through my whole body. Slowly my lungs fill with air but I can feel strong pangs in my stomach.

"What the hell is going on here?" Lily shouted angrily. "Were you fighting?"

That's a stupid question, what else could we be doing? I'm on the floor with my hands on my stomach and Madison is against the wall with a scar on her cheek.

"Both, down, now!" My mom says before going down the stairs.

Madison and I exchanged glances, both breathing heavily and overflowing anger in our eyes.

We got up quietly and Madison went down before me. I moaned as I felt a pain in my stomach.

We sat on the couch and watched my mother who stood staring at nothing.

"Who goes first?" Lily finally speaks.

"I'll go first" Madison said with her eyes fixed on my mom. "This is your entire fault!"

"Excuse me?" My mother raised an eyebrow.

"You are lying, you are acting like a bitch, I know that something is happening between you and Professor White" My mother's face decomposes for few seconds, then her gaze becomes tense.

"Professor White's good friend, do not make accusations you can't prove Madison."

"This started because Cassie's boyfriend Matt is with Madison" I spoke weakly.

"What?" My mother cried.

"So? What is your problem? Leave me alone "Madison rolled her eyes.

"It is not right Madison, Matt is lying to Cassie, you're lying... you can still regret about—“

"Shut up, you're lying too" She looked into my eyes and I can see the anger in them.

I don't understand what she is talking about, I haven't lied.

"Don't look me like that, don't pretend to be a saint or you want me to tell your mother about Harry?"

"Harry? What's going on with Harry? "My mother frowned.

"He is my friend." I stated.

 I should tell the truth but I don't really want anyone to know about Harry yet. My mother could ruin everything and I don't want her to know.

"Yeah right." Madison rolls her eyes but she doesn't say anything else. Maybe she has no idea what she is talking and she just told me to see if she was right.

"The thing is that if you don't let him I'll tell Cassie." I threatened without fear. My sister looks at me for a few seconds without any expression on her face, then she shakes her head. "Madison you ... you're better than this, Matt doesn't deserve you. Please leave him, you can ha-have any boy you want... "

"What if I want Harry?" She smiled and I clenched my fists.

"Not him," I replied, clearly leaving my jealousy stay afloat.

"Really? Why? I know he's single. "

"Not really," I denied. "He's with someone but ... not from school." Nice and quick lie.

"We'll see ..." She threatens but I see an evil smile on her face.

"Just ... let Matt, please." I beg.

"Okay," She answered.

Is that all? This can't be so easy, we are talking about Madison.

 "I will, I don't care about Matt, he's an idiot."

I don't think she's lying, Madison is used to going out with different guys so Matt should be one more in her list.

"Should I call him or tell him in person?"

What? Is she asking me something? Does she really want my opinion?

"I thi-think in person would be better..."

"I'll call him and I'll tell him to come here, If you want you can be there I don't really care."

I guess it's okay, it's a good idea for me to be present so I know that Madison kept her word and Matt will know I am aware of his dirty little secret.

"Deal?" Madison asked and I nodded. She got up and went upstairs, she didn't even bother to look at my mother.

"Wow, what was that?" Lily whispers when we are alone. " Were you fighting?"

"I know, and won't happen again" I sigh and felt a twinge in my stomach.

"Lucy dear, you're not with Harry right?"

"No, of course not. "

"Because I don't really care, it's your life."

"No Mom, he's just my friend."

***

Basically Madison accepted with such ease that it seems to me just ... weird and unbelievable. I guess my words affected or hurt her, it wasn't my intention but I told the truth.

Saturday morning Mike and Lily went to work, so my sister and I were alone. Madison called Matt and he went to our house. Matt's smile disappeared when I appear in the room. He knew I had caught him. I was surprised, he recognized me yet we barely speak.

Madison was fast, she said that they couldn't keep with this and she didn't want anything to do with him. Matt was completely serious and expressionless, I realized he was sweating a little, he was definitely nervous but why? Maybe because I am here...I guess.

Madison was just like him, serious and expressionless. God, I bet they both hate me. Madison goes upstairs once she finished, she doesn't look at me or Matt.

We exchanged glances once we were alone in the room, Matt asked me if we could talk and I knew his reasons. I decided to listen, I'm not a bad person and I guess Matt has the right to speak as well.

"You know what I want to say ..." He started and I nodded slowly and cautiously. "Sorry," he said but it didn't sound very convincing.

"You don't have to tell me that," I shrugged.

"Are you going to tell Cassie? Shit, she'll kill me. "He sighed.

"I should do it but I won't, you ha-have to do it—"

"Lucy look at me ..." Matt paused a few seconds, thinking what he was about to say. "I know I ruined everything, I know I should tell Cassie but I don't want to."

"What? Why? "

"I'm in love with her"

How can he be in love if he cheated on her all this time?

"I know you don't believe me, I can see it in your face but I really do. I know I made a mistake but don't you think we all deserve a second chance? "

Cassie, Cassie, what do I do?

I think she doesn't deserve this pain; does she deserve to suffer so much? She could end up with a broken heart but I could help her, I could solve this, if I accept and I forgive Matt. Is it worth it? But what if he does everything again? I don't even want to think about that idea.

"I ... ahm ..." I hesitated, this is hard. "Only if you promise that you won't repeat it" I admitted and I don't know if I'm doing well.

"Thanks Lucy" He says and hugs me. I'm slightly puzzled by his reaction that I just patted his back. "I won't do this again, I swear. It was just a mistake, it can happen to anyone. I just-"

I feel like he stabs me with that question because I know he's right. I gave a second chance to my mother, to Cassie when we drifted apart, I gave a second chance to Ryan and now we're friends, you could say that I also gave a second chance to Harry and now we're together. Would I give a second chance to Marcel if he tries to talk to me? I would be lying if I said no.

We all deserve it, is a way to fix your mistakes. Was I able to allow a second chance for Matt? I know that sounds silly question but now is in my hands his destiny and what is going to happen with Cassie.

"I trust you, please," I'm almost begging but I'm thinking about my friend.

"Thanks Lucy, I swear I won't let you down. I've been an idiot, I think I was just tempted, this is Madison's fault. "

I don't answer; I think his response was inappropriate and quite coward. He is a big boy, he cannot blame it all to my sister, Matt also thinks and makes decisions, and I know he must felt tempted for Madison but he let her. Am I doing it right? Did he deserve? Hope he doesn't ruin it this time.

"You don't seem convinced, please give me a chance." Now he is begging, oh, that's not what I expected. "In fact I will go now to see Cassie; I feel like crap, I have to make it up for her."

"Yeah, you should," I nodded.

Matt thanked me again for the opportunity and promised he would behave. I laugh because I didn’t think a guy would beg me so much, guys don't do that and I'm surprised by the fact that it is Matt.

"I've never done this, I swear it's the first time I've cheated on someone and I feel ... I feel like an idiot" Matt says as I follow him to his car.

"No, you're not. But I just want to say—"

"Has this ever happened to you?" His question caught me off the guard but I already know the answer.

"No. I know it sounds pathetic, I'm 17 and I have no experience. "I shrugged.

"Are you sure?" Matt smiled and I don't understand his question.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh Lucy you don't have to lie to me."

"What are you talking about?" I asked crossing my arms.

"I know you're with Harry" I step back, as if his confession hit me. "He told me."

"What? Really? "I can't see me but I know my face is pale right now.

"Yes, Harry was drunk; I don't think he can remember." Oh. "You haven't told Cassie," I shook my head in response. "She'll kill you," Matt said while he enters to his car.

"I know, thank you" I rolled my eyes.

"You should tell her."

"I will." I give him a short answer; I don't want to talk about this and less with him.

Matt said goodbye, promised to go to see Cassie and then left.

***

*****

So this was a good weekend, it was not perfect but it was good.

What did I do? Well it can be summed up in one short sentence: spending time with Harry.

Saturday after Matt had left me, Harry called me and asked me out to do anything and I accepted. I lied to my mom and I went to his house.

When I got there Harry was still in pajamas, which consists of a shirt and his boxers. I tried not to look, however, it was impossible because the boy is attractive. Physically there is not a single defect I was able to detect on him. I could even make a list of everything that makes perfect Harry Styles.

So back to the story, he was still in pajamas and we decided to watch a basketball game or something. Normal girls would find it completely boring, but it was fun, I think Harry was the one who was bored ... but for my questions. When I don't know about something I like to ask, when I was little I used to talk too much and ask about every detail around me.

So to keep my mouth shut Harry gave me ice cream, just like that we could see the rest of the game in silence. He was sweet, for doing that but he also was bad because he use my weakness against me.  I asked him if we were going out but Harry told me he was too lazy to do it. After that response I got lazy too and we spent the rest of the afternoon watching TV and lying in bed.

Regularly I would never do that, I spend my time reading, studying or watching TV maybe but never for so long. It felt like a marathon but I must admit that I enjoyed a lot.

We get along, we talked and I swear I could never get bored of him. Now that I have the opportunity to be close to Harry I swear this is a dream, he's a dream and I don't want to wake up.

While Harry chewed his gum I was tracing lines through his jaw, I played with some of his curls and I slid my fingers up to his lips.

Harry, who was concentrated watching television, smiled a little and turned his face to look at me; my head was resting on his shoulder so our faces were only inches apart.

"What?" We said at the same time and then we smiled.

"Did you hear anything I said?" He spoke.

"You haven't said anything, you were chewing gum."

"Actually I asked if you were enjoying the movie"

 Maybe he talked and I didn't realize, I was too distracted looking at him and saving every little piece of his face in my memory.

"I wasn't watching the film, I'm sor-sorry" I admitted ashamed.

"You were staring at me?" He asks and then throws the gum to the wall.

"That was disgusting," I wrinkled my nose.

"I don't need it for what I'm about to do" He gave me a smile that sent chills through my body.

He caught me off guard when he leans down to kiss me. His lips fit perfectly with mine, they are warm against my skin and I love it. Harry slid his fingers and tucked a few strands behind my ear.

I rest my arms around his neck and in response to my move Harry wraps my waist with his warm, strong arms and draws me closer to his body in an embrace. I let out a cry of pain, my stomach still hurts and I have a bruise for Madison's kick.

"What happened?" Harry murmurs against my lips.

"Nothing," I said with my eyes closed and after my answer he kissed me again.

Harry smells amazing and I can feel the heat emanating from his body. This time he hugs me but with more care and I do not want to let me go. Suddenly Harry is separated from me and I was about to complain but he took off his shirt and I kept my mouth shut.

He sits on the bed; I stare at him while we both breathe heavily. I got to see all his tattoos, at least for a few seconds; they are many and very beautiful. Each one should have a story and I'm so eager to know about every single detail.

Harry is looking at me and he looks like if he's waiting for something, I guess he's waiting for me. I rush to sit in front of him, I awkwardly sit up in bed and due to the sudden movement   my hair covers my face and I fall clumsily into his arms.

A beautiful smile lights up his face as he moves the strands of my face with his long fingers.

"So eager..." Harry whispers as he fixes my glasses that are slightly bent to one side.  This small detail, this small moment is so sweet that I melt inside.

Without cut visual contact his hands are in my waist and slowly begins to pull my shirt.

I'm not thinking straight so I allow him. My fabric falls to the ground and the sound echoes in my ear. He curved the corner of his lip in a beautiful smile and my heart is about to come out my chest, I don't know what I'm doing but I'm really enjoying the moment.

He kisses me almost aggressively and his hands caress my back. Harry gently pulled my hair and kisses down my neck and I sighed at the touch of his lips.

I know I should stop this but I'll never forget this moment, Harry makes me feel so special, so—

"Is this porn or what?" We heard a voice and we both split up and our eyes turned to the door. Louis and Zayn were leaning on the door frame with a smirk on their lips.

I feel so exposed, so ashamed. I remember that I'm not wearing my shirt, so I scream while I back off. Unfortunately I forget that the bed has limits so I slip and fall on the floor.

"Fucking Idiots" Harry cursed when his friends burst out laughing. "Get out of here!" He grunts and then they close the door but Louis and Zayn are still laughing. "Sorry Lucy, are you okay?"

And that was basically the best and the worst moment of my life. After that I put my shirt on, the magic moment was over and a certain part was thanks to Zayn and Louis. If they hadn't been here what would have happened? I must control myself, I can't do this now but my hormones are a little crazy.

Thank God Harry didn't see the bruise on my stomach, I didn't want to explain everything that happened with Madison. While I watch TV I feel so embarrassed and my prude side stabs me. How was I able to do that? I also feel bad about myself because Harry practically looks like a model and I look completely the opposite of him, like trash.

 I started thinking too much about my body and comparing myself to the girls Harry has been and that definitely was not good for my mental health. Have low self esteem is the death to me, its a hard life. When my thoughts were about to killing me I tried to drown my insecurities and I concentrated on enjoying the day with Harry.

He invited me to a party, I think the same to which Ryan, Mandy and Cassie are going today but I refused. He tried to convince me just because it was Saturday and I couldn't stay at home but I didn't want to go. People still don't understand that I don't like parties. After vain attempts Harry surrenders, I can clearly notice that he's upset but he respects my choice and I am glad about it.

I spent the rest of the night reading a book and eating, which was the only way to keep my mind away from my thoughts. Many things crossed my mind, such as what is he doing, or if some girl was flirting with him and stuff like that. In short it was torture, this side of me is slowly taking over my head and it makes me feel awful.

When I woke up on Sunday I knew I had to study, I had delayed too long since I've been spending my time with Harry. Today I had to study so I took a shower, I had breakfast with Mike and we went out to shop for lunch. My mother was at the hospital, but she will be here in a few hours. Madison was grumpy and she stayed in her room. I was wondering what was going on in her mind. I immediately thought of Matt but couldn't be for him, Madison is not that kind of girl.

I cooked with Mike and we talked about college and my future. I think it's a bit rushed but time goes so fast. Mike acts normal like always but I cannot help remembering what happened a few days ago at McDonald's. I wanted to ask him but it's none of my business. I have a serious problem, I am very nosy but this time I bury my curiosity and I help with the food.

Madison doesn't talk to me and my mother asked me if everything was okay between us and I told her to not worry. Mike asked about the scratch on the face of my stepsister, she said she had been scratched with a friend's cat. We had lunch together and then I got a call from Harry, he asked me to go to his house and I accepted. I promised I wouldn't go but I can't refuse. I should make a balance between Harry and my life, so I get a solution for that problem.

Harry has a hangover today, while he is lying in bed complaining about his headache I'm with my books studying and actually works.

The whole house is silent, Louis and Zayn are in their rooms and Liam and Niall watching a game on television. Both look awful, their faces are pale and they have dark circles under their eyes.

I searched on the internet a home remedy for a hangover and found that tea can help, so I prepared tea and toast for everyone. Liam and Niall hadn't eaten until I leave the plate in front of them. They thanked me and Niall kissed my cheek.

I gently knocked Zayn's door and he let me in, I let the plate on his desk and he muttered a "thank you" from the bed. I did the same with Louis and he told me that Harry should definitely fuck me hard as a thank you for everything I was doing for them. I pretended not to hear that and Louis laughed at my reaction.

Last but not least was Harry. His hair is messy, his face looks tired with dark circles under his eyes and he is pale as a ghost but he still looks handsome.

"It wasn't necessary" He muttered staring at the tea and toast.

"You need to eat something" I sat next to him and grabbed my book.

"I don't deserve it."

"Harry is just food" I looked at him with a smile. He furrowed his eyebrows and hid his face beneath the sheet.

There was nothing after that reaction, he didn't drink the tea or didn't eat the toast so I ended up eating them while I was studying. We didn't talk, I guess he was in a bad mood.

"Harry I have to go" I whispered as I kept my books in my backpack. "Could you please take me home?" Harry kept his eyes glued to the TV and it was as if he hadn't heard me.

"Ask Niall" was all he said. He didn't sound angry or annoying, he simply said without any emotion or concern.

I think it was a bad idea to come today, yesterday was perfect and today we barely speak. I was trying to be nice and I can't believe this is his response to me. Why he called me if he is going to treat me like this? I just don't get it.

"Bye," I said when I crossed the door.

Niall took me home, he felt much better and he thanked me for the tea and toast. He was in good mood so we chatted quite on the way back home, he's nice and he can always makes you laugh.

It's Monday and Mandy and Ryan can't stop talking about the party. I just listen to them while I stir my food with a fork. Cassie joins us to talk a few minutes later, apparently it went very well and I'm happy for them. I want to ask about Harry but that might raise suspicion, I will ask to Mandy later.

I saw Harry today, as always he was sitting with his friends. He was chatting with them but didn't look as excited and happy as I have seen him on several occasions. He didn't notice my presence but I wasn't near him. I know we don’t have a label but I guess that to worry about the other is one of our obligations right? He could have called, was not too much to ask. I feel a little hurt because Saturday was perfect and Sunday was a big disaster. Did I do something wrong?

"I had never drugged before thanks Ryan, was amazing." I heard Mandy's voice next to me.

"We can do it again anytime" He smiled proud of himself. How can you be proud of that? At least I wouldn't be proud to try illicit drugs plus its dangerous.

"It was good but you should try Harry's." Cassie smiles and I roll my eyes.

"I have tried, and you're right." Ryan nods. "We should get high one of these days, after school."

"Why are you so quiet Lucy?" Mandy asks and two pairs of eyes focus on me.

"I have nothing to say, I didn't go to the party." I growled.

"Because you didn't want to, but you were invited by Ryan and Harry" Cassie smiles when she pronounced the last word and I frown. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Harry invited you?" Ryan raised an eyebrow. "I didn't know you were still friends."

"Yes, we are friends I guess..." I sighed. I don't want to talk; I'm not on the mood. "And I didn't tell you Cassie because we haven't spoken, you're always so busy with Matt so..." I shrugged and looked down at my plate.

"Someone's in a bad mood today ..." Cassie teases and I'm surprised because she is not mad about my comment..

"No, I'm not ... I'm just tired." I lied but I definitely was grumpy.

They keep chatting about the party, sharing secret jokes and talking about things that happened. Maybe I should take this time and tell Cassie about Harry, I guess it's the perfect chance isn't it?

"Hi Marcel" Cassie greeted and I wondered if I was hearing right. I turned sharply and there was my best friend Marcel. It was so strange, I haven't seen him in a while and suddenly I feel that Marcel is part of my past and that hurts.

"Um Hi gu-guys" He half smiled and his eyes fell on me. "Can we talk Lucy?"

"Um, okay." I nodded and got up from my seat.

I don't know why I accepted, I don't want to talk to him, I'm not ready to forgive him, Marcel was very cruel to me.

I followed him through the halls, we don't look or talk to each other all the way.

"I don't want to talk there," I said when we stopped in front of the library.

"Um its okay, let's talk here." He sighed and looked at me, we are now face to face. He reminds me so much of Harry ...

"I don't want to talk Marcel" I whispered diverting my eyes to my feet. "You hurt me, don't you remember?"

"And I'm sorry. You're my best friend and I was just trying to prot-protect you—"

"Protect me?" I frowned, feeling the anger in my veins, he can't say that. "Marcel you basically said I wasn't good enough, what does that has to do with protecting me?"

"I'm sor-sorry! I did not mean that, it was never my intention. I still think Harry is playing with you, maybe he is lying; I just can't understand why he is talking to you... "

"I don't know, maybe because I'm ... I'm nice." That was a stupid answer.

"I don't know Lucy, I just ... I have my suspicions." He shrugged and ran his hand over his forehead. He was sweating. Marcel sweats every time is because he's nervous, it was sweet I guess. "Please forgive me, we all deserve a second chance"

Here we go again, second chances. He deserves it, I don't have doubts about that. Despite all he is my best friend, he hurt me but I'm so stupid that I would forgive him...

"I ... I exaggerated everything, all I wanted was to ask you to stay away from my cousin but you didn't."

"No, I didn't."

"I saw you the other day with Harry ... I saw you kissing in the hallway, Mandy was also there." He speaks and his eyes are full of pure deception.

Oh well, he knows about us. I can't run away this time, I must face the truth.

 "So ... I guess you are with him..." He looked at me sadly. Why? Is he so selfish that he can't accept the happiness of his best friend?

"Yep..." I stated before I swallow. "Marcel, I really like Harry" I almost whispered, as if anyone could hear us.

"Why?" Asked Marcel clearly angry. "He is not worth it and you know it. Besides, you're too good for him."

"I don't care, I ... I have my reasons." I defended, I guess all that matters at the end of the day what I think, right? This is my life.

"I still can't understand it." Marcel ran a hand through his hair. "Of all people why had to be you?"

"What are yo-you talking about?"

" I was thinking about what happened, I thought why I said all those horrible things to you when it was never my intention and I came to a conclusion. I guess ... I was confused and hurt because I never realized that ... that ... I-I like you Lucy. "

"Wha-what?"

I was not expecting that because he is ... Marcel, my best friend.

"You hea-heard me, I-I like you" He blushed and his cheeks grabs a lovely color.

"What the hell is going on here?"

I froze when I heard a hoarse and threatening voice behind us. Marcel's eyes widened in surprise and I turn to meet a furious Harry a few feet from us. I'm confused, what is he doing here? How did he know? He followed me here or what? You have to be kidding me, he ignored me all day and he appears right now ...

"This is aw-awkward" Marcel whispered and his voice trailed off.

"What are you doing here?" My voice is weak and I didn't realize that I'm scared but I can't understand why.

Harry's jaw was tight, I don't understand why he's so angry. His eyes fell on me and then Marcel.

"Lucy is my girlfriend and I made a damn question, what the fuck is going on here?"