++++                                                                     HARRY

I move my head to the beat of the music while I drive to high school. I didn’t go to class this morning and it is almost lunchtime. I don’t feel enthusiasm to go to today but I have lost some classes. The whole problem with my mother yesterday and Lucinda, was too much for me yesterday. I'm tired of all this crap.

"Harry!" I heard Niall's voice as I approach our table.

"Where have you been?" Liam asked worriedly.

"I bet with a girl." Louis answered.

"Can we not talk about bets?" I growled and sat down next to Zayn.

"Why not?" Zayn growls. "Where the hell have you been? You didn’t come home and you don’t even showed signs of you. "

"Now I have a wife?" I roll my eyes. "I went out to get drunk and met a girl, that's all." I replied.

"Don’t ever do that again." Zayn says jokingly and then he hugs me.

"You look like a couple." Louis complains. "You know what Harry should do? You should worry about the nerd. "Louis said looking over my shoulder.

I turn my head and spotted a few tables away from us that Lucinda is sitting next to Ryan. What the hell is she doing with him? Is she stupid or what? She didn’t learn the lesson.

Ryan is nothing but trouble, that's for sure. I don’t like this boy at all, he looks like the kind of guy that will make your life miserable and so far that's what he has made me. I can never get close to Lucinda because this fucking idiot is always ruin my plans, filling me with anger and transforming me into the monster I am.

That's all the nerd sees in me, a violent person but I have nothing more to show. Except for yesterday, she saw the inner side of my life, I hate to show that side. My real life. I didn't want her to meet my mom, fucking Marcel, I bet he has done it all on purpose. I should give him a lesson and beat the shit out of him.

I stop my thoughts when Lucinda's eyes moves away from Ryan and meets mine. I frown to show her my clear anger. The nerd doesn't smile, she blinks a few times, biting her lower lip and then she looks to Ryan. What the fuck was that?

"That idiot is winning your girl." Zayn laughs.

"You lost your charm Harry." Louis rolls his eyes.

"That's a sign to stop this damn-"

"We will not do it Liam, shut up." Louis spits.

"There should be some other way to get the damn money."

"And what would that be?" Zayn glares at him. "Stealing again?"

Liam rolls his eyes and gets up from the table. "Fuck you." He curses and then leaves. Niall quietly rises and follows Liam.

"Are you also going?" Louis asked when I rise from my seat.

"Fuck off.” That's all I say and I walk away from the table.

Honestly now I don’t want to share with these idiots, I’m not in the mood. I smoked a cigarette in the parking. What should I do now? I shouldn’t have come; being here is a waste of time. I hate this place.

My next class is chemistry and now that I remember I think Lucinda is in the class with me. These last few days I haven’t came to class because I'm tired of this shit. I guess I'll just to talk to her.

Yesterday was definitely something. I hate nosy people but she only showed concern.  I don’t know if it was real but I decided I decide to pretend that I believe in her attitude. I talked a little about myself and I'm impressed because I never do that. I don’t know what she has that makes me feel like I could trust her.

I had a nice time with Lucinda and when I was about to kiss her. Holy shit. I know that I have planned to kiss her; because it was an obligation but yesterday was different ... yesterday I wanted to, I wanted to kiss her and she didn’t say anything. For once she didn’t try to avoid my kiss.

 She wanted to kiss me too? If so, it is a point for me but the fact that I wanted to kiss her is stuck in my mind. I'm a little scared because I don’t know what the hell happened.

They're almost all seated when I entered the classroom. I stopped in the doorway and scanned the room. My eyes meet Lucinda; she is sitting at the last table. Of course she is alone, who would sit with her?

The girl looks out the window and she is completely indifferent to the world. What is she thinking? Is she thinking about yesterday?

"Heeey." I say as I sit next to her.

Lucinda moves her eyes at me and blushes. "Hi Harry." She whispers.

The nerd diverts her eyes to the blackboard when the teacher begins the class. I am so stupid, I can’t talk to her and it was obvious that she would pay attention on the class.

"It’s been a while since the last time you came to class." Lucy whispered as she writes in her notebook.

She noticed my absence, interesting.

"Chemistry is shit." I whispered back.

"Why ... why are you sitting with me?" She asks, not daring to look at me.

"I can’t?" I snapped.

"No... I don’t mean that." She shakes her head. "A few weeks ago you didn’t even know of my existence."

She's right; a few weeks ago I had no fucking idea who she was.

I leaned toward her and whispered in her ear: "And you knew about me?" Lucinda shudders and moves her chair gently away from me. I grabbed her chair and pulled closer to mine.

"Don’t run away." I smile and she shudders again.

I held my laughter at her reaction. I thought that she shudders too much and I hate that but now I think its lovely. I know I have some power over her; I just have to learn how to use it.

"You’re not going to write?" Lucy asked in a whisper as she laid her eyes on me.

"No." I replied as I slip an arm around her shoulders. And as usual Lucy trembles and looks away from me.

She doesn’t speak again and I don’t say anything. I don’t know what to say, I keep thinking about what happened yesterday. I'm really scared for my thoughts but I try to stay calm. When the class ends the nerd quickly rises from her seat. She looks rushed.

"Would you like a ride home?" I asked getting up from my seat.

"Um, no thanks." She says and starts walking toward the door.

Why she rejected me? I'm sure she has nothing better to do.

"And what are you going to do?” I asked annoying.

"I must study." Lucinda sighed. "I have a…a math contest."

SHE IS BORING, OH MY GOD.

"Whatever, have fun." I say and I turn to walk in the opposite direction to hers.

I walk through the parking lot and I get on my car. I don't start the engine and I stay in silence looking through my window. Sometimes I like to look at people, I like to see their expressions. A bit strange I know, but I have fun.

I don’t want to go. What could I do? Maybe I could go play poker with Taylor and drink some beers. Maybe I could call a girl or see Gemma. All the ideas are awesome but none are good enough.

I want to hit my head against the steering wheel because I'm still thinking about Lucinda.

I don’t know what to do or go. That sounds so pathetic. Ugh.

I closed the door of my car and made my way back; I head straight to the library. I have nothing better to do; maybe I can kill time with Lucinda. I went to the library and walked silently through the tables until I saw Lucy. She is not alone; she's with Marcel the super freak nerd.

They don’t look like they were studying, they are both silent reading something.

"Hey, hey." I said as I sit in front of Lucinda.

She flinches and raised her gaze to me.

"Ha-harry?" Lucy and Marcel ask at the same time. How nice, the nerds speak in unison.

"What are you doing?" I smile.

"Reading." Both nerds answer.

"Shouldn’t you be studying?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"...We were on a little break." She shrugs.

"What's that?” I asked before snatch the small magazine she was reading.

Um, not a magazine, it's a comic.

"Harry, give it back." She begs stretching her hand toward me.

"Superman?" I asked with a smile. I can’t believe she is reading a comic, this kind of stuff are for boys.

"Yes, now give it back." I shake my head and she rolls her eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I don’t have anything more to do”. I answered quickly.

"We are studying ..." Marcel says. "You could ask questions to us."

Marcel you fucking pussy.

 "Okay dear cousin." I said sarcastically. Marcel gives me a notebook that contains several exercises.

"We are ready." Lucinda and Marcel say simultaneously. What the fuck? Why are they still talking at the same time?

"Okay ... let's see.  A 1.5 m tall boy is standing at some distance from a 30 m tall building. The angle of elevation from his eyes to the top of the building increases from 30∘ to 60∘ as he walks towards the building. Find the distance he walked towards the building.”

What the fuck I just read? I want to throw up, math is disgusting, how can they like this?

Lucy and Marcel exchange glances and then both look at their notebooks and start writing.

"I finished." Lucy says after three minutes of typing rare equations on her notebook. "10?" I looked at the result in the notebook and it’s correct. I nod and smile girl.

"Fu-fu-fuck!" Marcel whispers.

I looked at him and I laughed. "What the fuck?"

"It's a personal project." Marcel responds frowning.

"Don’t ever do that again, you sound like a fucking retarded.”

"Harry ..." Lucy scolds me. I roll my eyes and change the subject by saying the next exercise.

We spent a few hours as well. I say the questions, they respond. Both are good and fast, totally nerds. I read the spiderman comic while they talked about math, I laughed every time Marcel cursed and I insulted him just to get a glance of Lucy. I like when she scolds me for insulting Marcel.

It was not as bad as I thought it would be.

"I have to take you home Marcel?" I asked glaring.

"N-no, my mother has come to me. Goodbye. "Marcel says before he starts walking towards his mom’s car.

Goodbye Marcel, now is just us.

"Marcel is a big boy, he's so pathetic, I can't believe he doesn't have a car." I complain.

" He just don't like to drive Harry." Lucy answered without looking at me.

"Let's go." I start walking to my car.

Lucy remains silent as she puts the seat belt. Is my idea or she has been more quiet than usual. What is she thinking? I would pay to know what is going on in her mind.

"Thanks for help today with Marcel..." Lucy whispered looking out the window.

"Yes, no problem. You are very ...um, smart. "

"No, I'm not." Lucy said quietly.

"When is your math contest?" I asked to create a conversation.

"It's the next week, I'm pretty nervous."

"How can you be nervous? You answered everything and you make a mistake in like two exercises. You are like a little Einstein."

Lucy nods without looking at me. "Thanks Harry, I really..." I see Lucy from the corner of my eyes when she stops talking. "Harry, stop the car." She whispers as her eyes meet mine. All I see is fear on her face, but what the hell? "Harry, stop the car!" I pressed the brake pedal when Lucy yelled.

She has never screamed to me.

She unbuckled her seat belt, opened the door and walked away from the car quickly.

What the fuck is going on?

I got out of my car and I closed the door hastily. I cross the street and I start walking. I see Lucy walking quickly across the street at several feet away from me.

 What is she doing? Who is she..? Oh, wait. I think I know who she is watching. I don't know how but I think she's following a woman.

That woman is several meters away from her, the woman is talking outside a restaurant and she's with a man. Her long dark hair is somehow a small detail but I recognize it right away. It's Lily, her mother. Has to be her who else would she be chasing?

Lucy walks directly to her mom, what is she going to do?

Before I can decide something, my body moves quickly across the street. I stumble and bump into people but I keep running I must catch Lucy.

I am so glad that she is not running, I manage to catch her quickly. I wrapped my arms around her waist while I lifted her off the ground.

"What are you doing?" Lucy complains when I start walking with her in the opposite direction where her mother is.

People look at me confused but I ignore them.

"Lucy, calm down." I growled as she tries to pull away of my grip.

"Harry, stop, she is...is doing it again." Lucy's voice reveals anger but also sadness.

What is her mother doing it again? What is happening?

"Let go of me!" Lucy screamed and I rushed to cover her mouth.

She tried to wriggle out of my grip but it was impossible. I made our way back and I only let her out when we are in front of my car again.

"What...what's your problem?" Lucy frowns.

"I saw it, I saw your mother." I said calmly.

"Why don’t you let me talk to her?" Lucy tries to push me but her hands are small and weak.

"You weren’t going to talk to her; I have never seen you like this." I grabbed her wrists so she stops pushing me. "What happened?"

She looks at me and tries to pull away of my grip. "Lucy, look at me." I demanded and grabbed her chin with my hand. Our eyes meet and I I realize that the girl is crying. "Lucinda, what is going on?"

She bites her lip and shakes her head.

"Tell me, dammit!" I shouted angrily.

On the corner of my eye I know we have some viewers. Great, just what I need, nosy people. We are not a fucking show. "Get in your own business!" I yelled watching people who are looking at us. They look at me scared and start walking away from us.

"Harry let me go, please." Lucy whispered and I released her wrists.

"Then what-?"

"You don't tell me about you ..." She whispered with her head down. "Why should I tell you about me?"

 I hate when she is challenging me with her shy and low voice.

 I rolled my eyes and opened the door where Lucy was sitting. I grabbed her bag and threw it at her. Lucy jumps when the bag falls directly in front of her feet.

I'm tired of her shit, I can barely tolerate my own problems.

"I'm trying to help you, but you're always so damn hard." I say through gritted teeth.

Lucy doesn't look at me, she just stays with her eyes on her shoes. Her shoulders shake gently, I know she is still crying.

Now that I threw her bag is time to go but I don’t move from my place. I sighed as I ran my fingers through my hair. Like her I just don’t know how to deal with people.

Try again, this is the last chance.

"Lucy, what happened?" I asked, approaching her. I rest a hand on her cheek and she looks up to meet my eyes. "Who is that man?"

"I don't...I don't know." Lucy shakes her head and wipes her tears. "I do not know what is happening with my mother but...but ..." She sighs and tries to control her tears."...She is doing it again."

"Don't cry Lucinda." I said as I grabbed her arms and pulled her to me. It is the first time I hug her, is odd, but I guess that is exactly what she needs right now.

"Why is she doing this...?" She cries on my chest.

Listen to her sobs, to hear her say this, just breaks my heart. This is not the Lucy I know. She had never screamed to me, she tried to kick me and pushed me. She broke down, her system collapsed and I can understand why she is so upset.

She said her mother is doing it again; she must be traumatized by some infidelity her mom made.

And I'm sorry for her, Lucy is weak, incredibly weak.

I stroke her hair and breathe her cologne. She always smells good. We stay embraced in the street while she still cries. I whisper on her ear that everything is going to be fine.

 I promise I'll try to help her but it is ironic because I'm going to destroy her and just think of it makes me feel sick.

I'm a monster.

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