just to preface this: i'm not gonna make fun of anyone for swearing or not swearing! literally no one cares, live your life how you want to. 

butttt as always here are some of my opinions! you know the drill, but once again, feel free to ignore or be angry at any of these things as long as you're not taking it out on me. i'm only writing this book for fun, man. 

(i would also like to say that although for obvious reasons i'm not going to get into politics and all that in this book, we deserve a woman president and although i seriously doubt harris will win, you know, a girl can hope.)

moving on!

the first category in this chapter is..... drumroll please..... swearing like a tween!

this is not meant to offend anyone who is actually a tween out there, because i know there are some of you! <3

basically, this term (which is completely made up by me not even gonna fake it) means... well, okay, i'll explain it in more simpler, gen-z terms since i am one. have you seen that vine or tiktok or whatever it is where there's an interviewer asking that one celebrity lady what her favorite swear word is and she says "well, i think it'd probably be fuck" or something along those lines, but you can just tell she does not swear at all. that's what i mean!

another example is olivia rodrigo swearing. i went to her concert the other night and it was so funny, the way that she was sneaking little f-bombs into her vocabulary like it's normal for her. 

a good example, i'd say, is when someone says something like "how the fuck are you?" like i feel like that sounds so weird and just off, almost as if you're trying to be cool and pushing the fact that you swear onto other people, making you seem badass. 

personally, i do not swear very often (only in my thoughts lmao) so i can't really talk, but y'know, whatever.

second category is... overswearing!

my dad hates this one. it's basically just what it sounds like: slipping swear words into literally every single sentence you say, all the time, to the point where you're using them as filler words and they don't actually mean anything. 

have you ever heard that writing tip where if you want the exclamation points to actually exclaim and seem unusual and eye-catching when you use them, not to put them everywhere in a story? so that when you do use them, it points out the sentence you're using them in and makes the reader think, "wow, so that really was important."

same with swear words, i'd say! genuinely all i do with them is call dickhead guys dickheads, bitchy girls bitches, and use the phrase shit talking instead of gossiping (because i feel like gossiping as a word sounds veryyy early 2000s teen movie, which is a total vibe but not for real life.)

an example: "hey, motherfucker! holy shit, did you see that fucking great flick they've got out in allll the fucking theaters these days? it was so shit, like the main bitch was just fucking shit at acting."

*i do not promote this way of talking, nor do i enjoy hearing or writing it. please do not call your friends motherfuckers unless they are okay with it, and definitely do not call strangers bitches, especially if they are celebrities and you have never met them!*

use real words, please.

onto the next one!

underswearing! this is also pretty simply explained: the opposite of overswearing! 

for this one, let's say you never swear. you have never sweared (sworn?). to take it a step further, you don't like when people swear around you and get actually annoyed when they do.

if you're a parent or over the age of fifty, sure, that makes sense. back in your day, people had different vocabularies and different ideas, and change is hard, so sure, you do you! 

but if you're a teenager, in a high school, giving dirty looks to people saying 'crap'? literally just why. it's not that serious. most teachers won't reprimand you (at least where i'm from,) and at the most they'll just kindly tell you not to say that, maybe with a joking tone. it's giving teacher's pet, honestly. let us live.

okay, so this chapter is sounding really mean right now and i'm sorry about that! as i'm growing up i'm getting meaner (and less of a people pleaser) so that's probably why. i would notttt have written this chapter a year ago, trust me. or at least not published it. 

anyways, i think i'll end it here 'cause i have no more categories and nothing else to write. 

thanks for reading! even if this seems super opinionated and bitchy, i promise i'm a nice person and i do not hate you if you are mentioned in this chapter. i don't generalize. this is towards the general idea, not you. i'm sure you're great. <3