Hereford countryside

Herefordshire, UK

Date unknown

Time unknown

DISCLAIMER: Due to the dark nature of this part of the story (i.e., suicidal thoughts, self-harm - TRIGGER WARNING), I hope you are mature enough to read this. If you aren't, skip this chapter. You have been warned.

Catherine POV

I was having a rather peaceful dream: me, Alex, Erica, and for some reason, Ben were having a picnic together in what appeared to be the English countryside. Hereford, specifically. Ben and Alex were telling a story with their own added dramatic effects, while Erica and I looked on in amusement. I quickly realized there was something odd about this scene.

Alex looked a bit older, with a couple of wrinkles and gray streaks, looking middle-aged. There were also some new scars on his face. Somehow, that made him look even hotter.

Ben also looked older, perhaps in his mid-twenties. His face, neck, and arms were littered with scars.

'What happened to him?' I wondered.

Erica also looked like she was in her mid-twenties, and had scars, but not to the same degree as Ben.

Alex had just told a joke, which he and Ben were roaring with laughter about. Something about a bet that Cyrus was going to be objecting at a wedding?

Hold on. Whose wedding? Why would Cyrus object?

I suddenly felt an itch on my forehead.  I raised my left hand up to scratch it, but I stopped when I caught a glint of golden metal on my hand.

I noticed that Alexander had an identical golden glint on one of his fingers.

Then I looked at Erica, who was holding her hands up in mock exasperation at something Ben and Alex said. There was a silver band on her left hand, with a small, ice-blue diamond, the same color as the Hale eyes. Next to it was a ring made of steel and... was that the bottom section of a bullet casing?

I froze. 'Could this mean what I think it means?' I thought.

My musings were interrupted by a "click," a sound I know as second nature:

The sound of a handgun slide.

Catherine POV (Real Life)

My eyes snapped open, and I saw that Alex's did too. Ben wasn't between us. We briefly panicked, looking around the room, only to find him standing next to Alex's desk, looking at us in shock.

I wondered where the click came from when I saw what was in his hand: Alexander's sidearm..

My eyes widened as it became evident what was about to happen. Ben obviously wouldn't betray us, so that left one possibility as to what he was about to do...

'No... he wouldn't... shoot himself... would he?' I thought in fear. Ben then started to move the gun's muzzle towards his own head.

My heart stopped, and I didn't move. Luckily, Alex snapped out of his shock and lunged forward, quickly forcing Ben to drop the gun. I managed to react, unloading the magazine and ejecting the round from the chamber. I opened a drawer and placed the firearm inside, storing the ammunition in a separate drawer.

I turned back towards Ben, who was struggling to get away from Alex. Under normal circumstances, he probably could've done so, but Alex seemed to be on an adrenaline rush, with a mask of determination on his face as he restrained Ben. Like me, he was not willing to let Ben hurt himself.

"Ben! Stop this! What were you thinking?" he asks in a voice of steely calm.

"Let me go! I have to pay!" he snarled.

"For what?" Alex responded.

"Blood, body, and soul," he muttered, looking down. I slowly walked forward, positioning myself between him and the desk.

"Ben... please, don't do this," I begged. A few tears leaked from my eyes as the reality of what Ben tried to do set in.

He looked up at the two of us, and suddenly, his anger morphed into one of fear. Where did that come from?

"No, no, no! Please, no!" he pleaded with terror in his eyes. He shook himself off from Alex's grip and pushed him back. I prepared to intercept Ben and keep him away from the desk, but he instead backed into a corner of the room as far away from us as possible, looking at us in fear.

I was confused, but worried for Ben. Alex appeared to feel the same way. We attempted to take a step towards him, but he sunk further back into the wall, slipping down to the floor, curling up into a ball, and covering his face with his arms.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Don't hurt me!" he begged, causing us to stop.

"There's nothing to be sorry for, Ben. Just tell us what's wrong," said Alex softly as he knelt to match Ben's height.

I followed Alex's move. "Don't worry Ben. We're not going to hurt you," I said as gently as I could, while I was losing my mind internally.

Ben gave a whimper of pain. "No, you will! You hate me!"

I felt my heart break when I heard this. "I could never hate you, Ben," I respond, tears streaming down my face.

"I couldn't hate you either. What makes you think that we would?" asked Alex, who looked close to tears.

"I-I-I killed you!" he sobbed.

This caught me off-guard. "W-what?" I stammered.

"I killed you! You two, Cyrus, Erica, Mike, Zoe, Chip, Jawa, the CIA Director, POTUS, the UK PM, my mom, my dad, my sister, my brother! I thought it was Hallal! I was so sure it was Hallal! But you all died instead! I failed! I failed my friends, my country, my family!" he ranted tearfully, pouring his heart out.

He revealed everything: every last detail of his nightmare: from breakfast with his family to ending up in the room with mirrors and smoke to being tormented by ghosts.

He then revealed how while the first event changed, the smoke-and-mirrors room and the ghost torment was a constant in the nightmares. He disclosed that he had been having them since his family's funerals.

I remember hearing about the murders of his family, apparently as a final order by Joshua Hallal. I remember seeing the utter despair on Ben's face when he found out. I remember when we all came to support him at the funerals. Alex, myself, Erica, Mike, Zoe, Chip, Jawa, even Cyrus. Even a few other acquaintances and friends, including "Woodchuck" Wallace and Tina Cuevo, showed up. Ben was shattered throughout the whole affair. Afterwards, he went silent, not accepting any communications. He barely spoke with Mike and his parents, who he stayed with. Alex and I both tried calling him and failed.

To say I was horrified at Ben's nightmares would be an understatement. I have been trained to resist torture and mental attacks during SAS and MI6 field agent training, but even I would break after suffering through what he suffered.

Ben finished his tale, still cowering in the corner in fear of us.

I wanted to comfort him so badly. I wanted to relieve him of his pain. "Ben, can I come closer?" I asked.

Ben shook his head.

"How about me? I promise you, we won't hurt you," said Alex in his most soothing voice.

"P-please, no..." he whimpered. That nightmare had scared the poor boy out of his wits. He seemed to have lost his sense of reality.

I thought about it for a moment, then came up with a better question.

"Ben is there something we can do for you?" I asked.

"M-mom... Dad... Jill... Charles..." he mumbled.

I was clueless. Suddenly, I got an idea. I turned to Alex, who also seemed to have an idea.

"Alex... what if we offer them in a different form?" I whisper.

He looked confused, but a look of realization flashed across his face. "I was thinking the same thing," he responded.

I nodded and turned back towards the trembling Ben.

"Ben, we can't get then directly, but what if you could get them in a new form?" I asked softly,

He looked up, his eyes bloodshot. "What d'you mean?"

"Well, what if some other people took up the mantles?"

"Like who?"

I took a deep breath. "Well, if you'll have us, we'd like to fill in as your new mother and father. We could never replace your parents, but we want to help you. We both have parental affection towards you anyways, so that should help."

Ben seemed a bit shocked.

"And you don't hate me?" he asked timidly, evidently still influenced by his nightmares.

"I swear I will never hate you, Ben," I said, subconsciously raising my right hand.

Alex repeated my oath, and we waited patiently while Ben studied us carefully.

Finally, it seemed that we broke through. He dropped his head, taking deep breaths, and turning back towards us before uttering two words:

"Help, please."

I interpreted it as "come forward," so I inched my way forward, with Alex next to me. When Ben didn't react negatively, I made haste, rushing to his side with Alex right after me.

"Ben, we're going to put you back on the couch, OK?" he asked.

Ben nodded. We hauled him up and slowly moved him back to the couch. He was an emotional wreck, and it was getting to me. Alex also appeared to have tears in his eyes.

We held him between us, trying to keep him calm. He kept mumbling about the nightmare, but we kept trying to convince him it wasn't real. We didn't hate him, his friends didn't hate him, and the top brass certainly couldn't hate him. He's saved all of our lives at least once.

'Anyone that tries to hate him will suffer the wrath of me, Alex, Erica, and all of his friends. I'll even make Cyrus join, and it won't be pretty,' I swore mentally.

I helped him sip some water while Alex quickly got the bag from Ben's room. "Ben, I got some spare clothes and pajamas for you. I think it might be better if you change," he said.

Ben nodded weakly, taking the bag. He looked up at us with teary eyes.

"Will you leave?" he asked.

We shook our heads. "We'll be right outside, sweetheart. Just letting you change in private, then we'll come right back to you."

"Promise?" he sounded a bit like a young child, but that was irrelevant: in such a form of depression, anyone could be reduced to this state.

"Promise," I affirmed.

He nodded, and Alex and I left the room. We stood in the hallway, pondering the situation.

"Don't you have a friend that's a psychologist or something at MI6?" he whispered.

I nodded. "OK, text the whole situation to her from your burner. I'm gonna send this to Professor Weaver. These are nightmares, twisted visions of his imagination, but this might be caused by some sort of torture. Remember, he was captured and tortured on the mission before his family's murder. Make sure she doesn't reveal anything to anyone. We keep this a secret between the five of us."

I nodded and sent the text. My friend, Cynthia, told me that she would look into it immediately. Professor Weaver surprisingly responded, and promised to give a hypothesis as soon as possible.

We then heard a tap on the other side of the door. "All done," Ben said.

We reentered the room to see Ben in some Star Wars pajamas. He was holding a photo in his hand. It was his family.

"Are you OK, Ben?" I asked, locking the door.

He sighed. "I don't know. I miss them. I know I might see them again in some great beyond, but I'm worried. They're going to hate me. They probably know now what I've been up to," he said tearfully.

Alex stepped forward and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Ben, I'm sure they don't hate you. Do you want to know why?"

"W-why?"

"Because you're Ben Ripley, one of the kindest, most loyal, most loving people on the planet. I know that you would never betray your family, friends, or country, and even if you did, it would just be a ruse so you could take down the enemy later. You're not the one that killed them. They were killed by SPYDER. They were killed by terrorists who target anyone that's not on their side, civilians or not."

"That may be, but if I hadn't joined the CIA, they wouldn't have gotten caught in the crossfire. Heck, they assassins probably told my family that I was the one who sent them. I wouldn't put it past them to do so."

"It wasn't your fault Ben. Even if the assassins did pull such a dirty move, I know your family didn't believe it," I stated, putting my hand on his other shoulder.

"Why do you think that?"

"Because if I or any of your friends were in their shoes, none of us would ever believe it. Not even Cyrus would believe it, and he doesn't trust anyone. We know you too well, Ben. We would never think of you to commit treason against anyone you cared about," I replied.

"You wouldn't?" he asked in a small voice.

"Never," Alex and I stated simultaneously.

He turned back towards the photo. "How do I get it to stop? It hurts... a lot."

Alex and I thought about it, then I gave my answer:

"You must let go. I'm not saying to forget, but to accept the finality. If you don't move on, all of the good memories of your family will get corrupted, and you will sink further into this depression. You have to accept that it wasn't your fault. I've lost friends on missions before, and it was never easy, but it was the only way I stayed sane. You have people that care about you, Ben. Come back to us."

Ben was silent for a few moments before finally responding. "I-I don't know if I can... but for you... I'll try. Will you help me?"

"That's what we're here to do. We will always be by your side, whether in person or in spirit," said Alex.

"Promise?" Ben asked timidly.

"We promise," I responded.

He put the picture down on the table and turned, clutching us both tightly. We returned the hug with equal fierceness.

"Thank you Alexander. Thank you Catherine," he whispered.

"No problem, bud. We're here to help," soothed Alex.

"I love you guys," he murmured sleepily before falling limp in our arms.

I turned towards Alex, who had a small smile on his face. I smiled back, knowing we had kept the situation for escalating too far. We maneuvered our tangled selves to the couch, promptly falling asleep.

Little did I realize that we were being watched...

Next chapter will be up by Friday at the latest.

If you've got a question, put it in the comments, and I'll answer ASAP.

Until we meet again.  Stay safe!

- ADF-2