"On the 12th day of December, Santa gave to me, Two Blonde Newbies, a Gingerbread treat, a Shopping Trip, an Awkward Silence, a Lights Show, a Tree for Three, a Surprising Reveal, and a Harsh Blow Back."

December 12th

Noel came in at 8 pm even though it was supposed to be their day off. His brother was asleep and he couldn't get what Yuri had told them last night out of his head, so he got dressed and came to the only place he felt comfortable. The cafe. It was barely light out, the sun wasn't in sight anymore when he placed the spare key Yuri gave him in the lock.

He smiled at the jingle of the door opening and the wafting smell of cocoa, cookies, and peppermint as he walked in. He took off his scarf and stuffed it into his hoodie pocket. Sighing, he plugged in the Christmas lights.

Standing up, he looked at the cafe basked in a warm glow. He scoffed as a smile lifted his lips. The scoff turned into a chuckle as he took off his hoodie, "Home is never that far it seems."

He placed his hoodie by the register as he rounded the counter. He set out to make hot chocolate, filling one of the coffee pots with water and pushing the settings to warm it. Taking the white snowman mug he favored, he placed three spoons of cocoa mix and when the maker beeped, poured the hot water over it. He sprayed some whipped topping before pausing. He shrugged and sprayed more, sprinkling cinnamon over the top afterwards. He took two cherries from one of the jars in the fridge when he went to put back the whipped topping and closed the door with his foot when he grabbed his mug.

He ate one cherry, tossing the stem in the trash-can under the register after setting the other cherry on top of the whipped cream of his drink. He licked his fingers and grabbed his hoodie. Walking down the hall towards the back room, he took a sip of his cocoa and licked his lips.

He flicked the light on and tossed his hoodie over the armrest of the couch before he took a seat in the middle. He took another sip and smacked his lips as he leaned back. Looking around, his eyes landed on the notebook peeking out from under the dark red throw pillow under his hoodie. He took another sip before setting his drink down and grabbing said notebook.

Noel placed his elbows on his knees and leaned forward, his eyes resting on the black notebook held between his hands.

He knew from the first glance that it was Yuri's notebook, but if he hadn't, then her name written at the top right corner with red sharpie would have clarified. It was hard to see at first, but his eyes drilled it enough that he could point out the light scratch marks and splitting corner.

Noel's never been one to contemplate something so seriously. He always thought for a minute before making a decision. Realizing that, he scoffed, letting the notebook fall on the coffee table with a smack. His eyebrows furrowed as he stared at it. What was so different about this? He wanted to open it. His hand reached out for it, but hovered. The hesitation he felt pissed him off. He wanted to read it, and he'll be damned if the thought of that girl contributed to his decision making.

Snatching it off the table, he flipped it open and read the first page.

Scribbled out in pen was an angel with a broken wing. He tilted his head at it as he traced the soft smile the angel wore besides the obvious pain she was enduring. It really did remind him of the dark haired girl.

Sudden heat overcame him, causing sweat to form on his palms and above his brow. Wiping his hand on his jeans, he cleared his throat and flipped the page. Written in neat cursive below a drawn out snapped rope was 'In the past I've waited patiently. Waited for my parents to love me. Waited for them to care for my well being. Waited patiently for the world to show me that I'm not a mistake. Today, my patience has ceased to exist. More than ever I want to move away. More than ever I want to scream at the top of my lungs all the things I've swallowed. More than ever.. I want to love someone who will love me back. My mother told me she only told me those three little words to keep me from asking her for more. Like I was a burden that she was trying to keep at bay as much as possible. Father agreed with her.... the worst of it all, is that I'm starting to believe that I am.'

His throat grew dry, swallowing was painful. He stared at the page, his mind going blank.

A minute later he skipped a couple pages and stared at the drawing of a puppy. It was adorable with a floppy ear and a wagging tail. 'I saw a dog today. It was by itself down an ally. I felt pity for it and ran to get hot dogs from our fridge. When I came back I tore off pieces and left them on the ground before backing up. It didn't take long before he was eating out of my hand. He let me pet him, I could barely move my hand away. He was dirty beyond belief but I couldn't have cared less. He was so happy to have attention that he followed me afterwards... he reminded me of myself. So desperate for attention that I'd follow the one person who gave it to me. I decided to keep him. His name is now and forever Scrapy. We'll be each other's everything.'

Noel dropped the notebook on the coffee table and rubbed his hands on his thighs before threading his fingers through his hair. He gripped the roots as his eyes squeezed shut.

They snapped open a second later. He finished off his lukewarm hot cocoa to try and soothe his painfully dry throat. Without a second thought he picked the notebook back up and flipped all the way to the back. He went through the blank pages before coming upon the last entry.

His breath halted at the smaller and much more adorable versions of him and his twin. Arthur clad in a ridiculous Christmas tree sweater with a toothy grin. Noel with his hands stuffed in his hoodie and a barely there smile.

Written below it was 'I don't know when, but these two have somehow weaseled me into thinking they're my friends without knowing. It's absurd just thinking about it! Noel gets on my nerves so easily and Arthur is way too distracting with his festive sweaters.. but yet.. I enjoy their company. They're strange- weird even. I mean who lives at the North Pole in a place called ClausVil? I can't help but think this is a sign I should open myself up more. But then I think about how they'll be leaving and I can't bring myself to get more attached to them then I already am... I don't think I can handle losing them. It's probably best to-'

"-What're you doing?" His head snapped up so fast that a pain shot through his neck. He hissed as Yuri walked closer and stared at what was still held in his hands. Her eyes darted from him to the page, "Is- is that my notebook?"

He blinked, his mouth opening before closing. A second later he hung his head. Swallowing the urge to run, he got ready to stand up. He flinched when the notebook was snatched from his grasp.

"How- I mean, why? No. How could you?" Her nostrils flared.

"Yuri." He sighed, standing up. "Give me a chance to-"

"-What the literal hell was going through your head?!" She fixed him with a glare as she waved the notebook in her hand, "You knew this was mine, and as soon as you opened it and read whatever you read, you knew it was personal, why would you continue? How long have you been reading it? How much have you read? I don't understand, was the curiosity just too much? Did you care at all?" Her eyebrows furrowed at him as her arm fell to her side, "Did you care about how I would feel?"

As much as he wanted to explain, Noel's lips stayed sealed. What was he gonna say? That he got pissed at himself and acted out to show himself that she didn't have any affect on him? How well would that go over if he did?

"I see," She scoffed, picking up the jacket she had dropped to grab her notebook, "you didn't care at all."

He stood frozen. Why- of all times -did he have to freeze now? All he could do was watch her storm out into the dark night. It must have been a good five minutes of staring painfully at the closed cafe door before he broke it.

A breath released from his chest as he slowly sat down. Leaning back, he rested his head against the back of the couch, a hand reaching up and rubbing above his heart. It contracted in his chest.. it ached.

_________________________________________

For those that have been reading this book, I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner, but Noel's name is pronounced as 'Noal'.... Just throw away that 'e' and replace it with an 'a'. I got the idea for his name from the song 'The First Noel' (Pentatonix's version) so I don't know why it didn't click that I should tell you guys before hand.. Well, I am now!

Oh, and I did put a notice on chapter one and one in the description, sorry for not bringing it up sooner 😅

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