CHAPTER SEVEN.
a little bit of luck.

GIFS ARENT WORKING

hey y'all 😐 im so sorry and im still taking my time but i promise i still want to write this book

also i couldn't get the outfit to load at the top so ✨ i miss polyvore
—

unsurprisingly, nineteen couldn't stop thinking about will.

she'd been so distracted with billy that she didn't even think about will and what he was going through. what had happened at mike's house and then at castle byers.

he had had a full blown breakdown after months of feeling like he lost his childhood. it had built up until mike finally hit his breaking point and caused will to destroy one of the places that he felt most safe.

nineteen had been in castle byers only a handful of times. earlier in the year, back in march, will had brought her there for his birthday. they had shared a cupcake as he read the first two chapters of the lord of the rings: the fellowship of the rings.

while she hadn't understood a thing, he enjoyed having someone to read it to so she laid down and let him read aloud.

it wasn't until joyce had come out there with a smile and candles that they had stopped and went back to the byers house for the party.

now she sat in max's bathroom, knees pulled to her chest and hiccuping through the tears. she was trying to be quiet, so as not to disturb anyone in the house.

she cared for will so much that it could physically hurt. their friendship and connection was so deep to her. she felt just as connected to him as she did to eleven. he wasn't like steve or hopper or the rest of the party. there was something else that tied him to nineteen. maybe it was because of the upside down. maybe it was because she felt like a sister.

nineteen comes back to reality when someone knocks on the door.

"blue? you okay?" max asks from the other side. nineteen sniffles quietly.

"yeah." she calls back. "just tired."

"okay... well, let me know if you need anything else. do you have your toothbrush? i can braid your hair?" she offers.

nineteen nods even though max can't see. "yes." she says. "i'll be out in a minute."

max doesn't answer so nineteen assumes she had walked away. she stands up, walking over to the sink and getting her toothbrush and toothpaste. she starts brushing her teeth slowly, her mind all jumbled.

billy made no sense. it just didn't add up. was it all a trick? how could she hear his thoughts one minute but not the next? it was all so....

"stupid," she mutters aloud, then winces, remembering will in castle byers.

she sighs, before spitting into the sink and finishing up.

when she walks back into the bedroom, eleven and max are already under the covers, sitting up against the pillows, talking. they look up when she walks in, and eleven's eyes immediately narrow as if she knew nineteen had been crying.

if there was one thing nineteen had learned since last year, it was that her and eleven could control their connection. it was subjective, almost. if nineteen wanted privacy, she could block eleven out no problem and vice versa. it hadn't always been like that, and nineteen really wishes she could do it to everyone all the time, if only to get a moment of peace.

some days have always been harder than others, but she's been practicing, even though it just gives her a headache most of the time.

it also causes her to lose grip on her feelings. being inside someone's head was painful, especially when you could feel exactly what they're feeling. when you know exactly what they're thinking and you know just how to send them over the edge.

her fingernails dug into the palm of her hand, thinking about billy. it wasn't over, they just need to get him alone. that's when they'll know the truth. she was sure if it.

then her thoughts slide to what mike said to will. anger flushed through her. if only mike was here now, if only he was standing right in front of her, if only-

"blue!" max says brightly, interrupting her thoughts. nineteen blinks in surprise, remembering where she was.

the shame that washes over her makes her feel sick instantly. she can't believe she had thought of hurting mike like that. it almost makes her burst into tears at the thought of doing to mike what she had done to the other men at the lab. of becoming what they accused her of being. a monster.

she shivers involuntarily and walks to the bed, crawling on it.

"okay, so, it's gonna be a tight fit for all three of us, but i'll sleep on the floor if i have to." max tells them. then, she picks up two comic books that were laying in front of her and turns to nineteen.

"which one, nini?"

"um..." nineteen starts, looking between them, then completely pauses.

"knee?" she says. she glances at eleven, whose glare has dropped into an amused smile that she was so desperately trying to hide. nineteen's eyebrows quirk as she looks back at the redhead.

max is grinning unabashedly. "n-i-n-i. it's a cover-up name. i know you have like forty-five others," nineteen's nose scrunches up at that, "but if anyone ever asks, you won't have to say lydia since you never went by it in the first place. it's cute."

nineteen nods as if she understands, even though she doesn't, and looks back at the comic books. one has a woman with dark hair and yellow headband on the front and the other one has a man in green on it. nineteen squints as she tries to read the words at the top.

eleven interrupts, leaning forwards. "who... is that?" she points at the woman on the front. max lays down the other comic book and opens up the one she had pointed at. she leans back beside eleven and scoots over to make room for nineteen.

"see, this is why you can't just hang out with mike all the time." max tells her and nineteen silently agrees as she moves to max's left, getting under the blanket.

"this is wonder woman," max tells them. "aka princess diana. she's from paradise island, which is, like, this hidden island where there are only women amazon warriors."

nineteen smiles, laying her head on max's shoulder and drifting to sleep quickly.

-

nineteen usually wakes up on her own. it's better for everyone when she does, because when she doesn't, she tends to be grumpy for the rest of her day.

so, what with everything else going on, it seemed most predictable that she wouldn't wake on her own.

"do you copy? this a code red. i repeat, this is a code red. max. do you copy? this is a code red."

nineteen almost growls. she likes lucas, but if he were standing in front of her right that moment, she would throw him out the window.

max seems to agree because she grunts and turns, throwing her body over nineteen to grab the walkie-talkie off of the floor. nineteen makes an 'oof' sound as max uses her stomach to hold herself up and turn on the radio.

nineteen blinks to see eleven raised up as well, her hair frizzy.

"shut. up." max says into it before shoving the antenna down, turning it off, and carelessly dropping it to the floor. she crawls off of nineteen and back to her tight space in the middle, pulling the covers over her and nineteen again. nineteen watches eleven rub her eye, beginning to lay back down.

yet, as soon as nineteen was almost asleep, max's phone rang from its place on the drawer.

max immediately sits up, staring at the phone in disbelief. nineteen barely raises her head up from the pillow, trying to continue sleeping. max scoffs, "you've got to be kidding me."

she throws off the blanket and crawls to the edge of the bed, stomping over to the phone and ripping it off the hook.

"i'm sleeping. go away!" she immediately says, going to hang up. then she stops and raises the phone to her ear again. nineteen turns and lays on her back, watching max through her eyelashes. she doesn't have the strength to try and listen yet, plus she's still half asleep.

"what are you talking about?" she hears max ask. nineteen's eyes flutter open fully again and she glances at eleven, who has lifted her head from the pillow.

"what?" max says again. nineteen raises up onto her elbows to stare at the redhead. after a second, max lowers the phone and stares at it.

"what did he say?" eleven asks. max doesn't answer, still staring down at the phone.

"max," nineteen starts. "did something happen?"

max turns back to them, her blue eyes calculating. "he said our lives could be at stake."

nineteen frowns in confusion. "what does that mean?" she asks.

"it means something bad happened. and we have to get to mike's house."

-

after putting on clothes they got at the mall, they leave as fast as they can, and make it to mike's house about 30 minutes later. when they get there, the back door is already open.

they walk in to lucas, mike, and will sitting on the couch. they all stand up when the girls walk in. nineteen takes a deep breath in, staring at the ground. she didn't know if she could look at any of them and not get angry.

"hey." she hears mike say.

"hi," eleven replies awkwardly. "what's going on?"

"something happened with will," mike starts. nineteen scoffs loudly, finally looking up. she dead stares at mike, whose mouth hangs open in shock.

"okay, you probably know." he starts, turning red. nineteen takes a step forward, making mike back up and hold his hands out. "and, i'm sorry, okay? i just... look, we can talk all about this later but something really, really bad has happened."

nineteen swallows in anger, looking back at eleven and max, who were huddled together watching the scene before them in interest. she then looks at will, whose watching her with wide eyes. she tears her eyes from his face and stares down at her white shoes before following her friends to the table.

"i didn't think it was anything at first. i mean, i think i just didn't want to believe it. the first time i felt it was at day of the dead." will says.

nineteen looks to the side in confusion. day of the dead? will's thoughts flicker through her mind and she gets chill bumps across her arms. she knows that feeling.

"power went out that night, too." mike chimes in. nineteen can't look at him.

"and then i felt it again at the field near the nelson farm the next day. then again yesterday outside castle byers."

nineteen shudders. "what does it feel like?" max asks.

"it's almost like... you know when you drop on a roller coaster?" he asks.

"sure."

"yeah."

"no."

nineteen shakes her head with eleven.

"it's like... everything inside your body is just sinking all at once, but this is worse." will says, looking at the ground.

nineteen bites her lip. she did know that feeling.

"your body. it goes cold and you can't breathe. i've felt it before, whenever he was close."

"whenever who was close?" max asks in confusion.

"the mind flayer."

will says it with such certainty that nineteen's eyes widen. eleven sits up, staring at will.

"we closed the gate." she tells him.

"i know, but... what if he never left?" will looks at the short haired girl. "what if we locked him out here with us?"

will suddenly stands up, walking to the cabinet and grabbing a piece of paper and charcoal.

"this is him," he says, slamming down the paper and drawing a quick picture of the mind flayer. "all of him. but, that day on the field, a part of him attached itself to me." he then wipes his hand across the picture, blurring it.

"my mom got it out of me, and you guys closed the gate."

nineteen remembered that night and would never forget it. the power she felt, the stinging in her chest, the coldness of the grate below her. the monster screaming, eleven screaming, and nineteen laying exhausted while hopper held eleven like she was his own.

"but the part that was still in me, what if it's still in our world?" he flips the paper over and slams his hand down, making a handprint. "in hawkins."

"i don't understand. the demodogs died when el and blue closed the gate. if the brain dies, the body dies." she quotes mike from that night in the byers house.

"we can't take any chances. we need to assume the worst. the mind flayer's back." mike states.

"yeah. and if he is, he'd want to attach himself to someone again. a new me." will says, looking around the group.

"a new host." lucas says.

the girls all look at each other, thinking the exact same thing. billy.

"how can you tell if someone is a host?" eleven asks.

-

after relaying what all happened with billy to the boys, the six of them found themselves at hawkins public pool again.

as they hid behind a car, watching from afar, max held up lucas' binoculars to see her step-brother.

"i don't know. he looks pretty normal to me." max says.

"normal?" lucas replies. nineteen stands between him and will. she glances away from billy for a moment to catch his expression. "how many times have you seen him with a shirt on?" max thinks for a second.

"i mean, it's a little weird."

"more than a little," mike buts in. "he was in a tub with ice. the mind flayer likes it cold. plus, everything else-"

"but he's lounging at the pool, which is, like, the least mind flayer thing ever." max sighs.

nineteen glares at billy through the fence. a long sleeved shirt and a towel is draped across his legs to protect himself from the sun. she tilts her head to get a read on him.

she almost hears static as her friends continue talking. his thoughts were jumbled. they were there, but... his mind was moving from one topic to the next. she closes her eyes, concentrating. what if he is the mind flayer and could tell she was trying to get into his brain?

"-he only used me when he needed me." she hears the end of will's sentence. she looks away from the blonde boy to her left at will. "it's like... like when you're dormant. and then, when he needs you, you're activated."

"okay, so we just wait until he gets activated." max states.

"no." mike tells her. "what if he hurts someone?"

"or kills someone?" will agrees.

nineteen finally comes out of her own thoughts and turns to the party.

"it's him." she says solidly. "we have to tell hopper and joyce."

"blue, i know what you saw and what you heard, but you saw him at heather's house!" max walks around lucas to grab nineteen's arm. "we have to be sure."

"i'm telling you right now-"

"can you hear him?" mike asks softly. nineteen glances at him and then over at billy. "yes, but-"

"i'm sorry," mike interrupts, and it seems like he's saying sorry for more than just disagreeing with her. "we can't take that chance. we need proof. we need to find out if he actually is the host." he then pushes off the car and walks behind them, through the lot.

"where are you going?" eleven asks, exasperated.

"i have an idea." he replies, beckoning lucas and will with his hand. "boys only."

nineteen almost sighs, scrunching her face in confusion. he had been doing so well. max scoffs, "seriously?!"

"just trust me on this one." he calls back.

nineteen crosses her arms, watching them go. she focuses on the three of them as they weave through the cars.

okay, i think i have a full-proof plan.

she tilts her head before looking to her best friends. "they're going to the... bathroom."

max and eleven look at her, then each other, then they shrug. eleven slumps against the car as max looks at billy through the binoculars.

nineteen looks around the area, trying to find literally anything to distract herself from what was going on. they were wasting so much time. it was billy. she was ninety-nine percent sure it was billy.

she looks at the grass behind them. a few of the small yellow flowers she usually picks for mary's grave are fully blossomed against the fence. she reaches down to pluck one, when something else catches her eye.

it's a small four-leaf clover. she hums and plucks it, holding it up to the sunlight.

she could hear mary's voice now, saying, "that's good luck!" she would read to nineteen from all different kinds of books. fictional, non-fictional, it didn't matter. nineteen just liked hearing her voice.

she had this one book about plants that bored nineteen, but she listened anyway. the pictures were the best part.

if nineteen stared at the clover long enough, she could almost imagine herself still sitting on her bed in the lab, with mary reading aloud at her side.

nineteen saw mary everywhere. she saw her in women with short hair, and white coats. she heard her in closing books or high-pitched laughs, and felt her when someone would run a hand through nineteen's hair.

nineteen realized that once you lose someone you love, they're irreplaceable. and you often wonder for the rest of your life if there's anything that can ease the pain. if there's anything to help you stop blaming yourself for something that's entirely out of your control. nineteen can't just forget about mary. not when she owes mary both of their lives.

she hadn't realized she'd been crying until a finger wipes the tear away from her cheek. she opens her eyes to see eleven kneeling beside her. she threads her fingers through nineteen's and grabs the clover. she twirls it a couple of times before sliding it in the pouch of nineteen's overalls.

"it's gonna be okay," she tells her, leaning her head against hers.

—

blue said "mike < anybody else"

ALSO I FINALLY CASTED MARY!!! it's Morena Baccarin, who coincidentally plays violet's mother in a series of unfortunate events.

headcanon:
nineteen's demiromantic :) bye oh my god im scared