Richard: Mia, I have a surprise.
Naomi: Really? What?
Richard: Well, I'm bisexual.
Naomi: That's great! So what's the surprise?

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Chandler: *walking through London after travelling from St Lucia where there arw drunk fights, prostitutes and people gettin stabbed*
Chandler: I'm in the ghettoooo
RATATATATAAAA-

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Richard, after Naomi tells him everything (but not really): Anyone else here leading a double-life that I should know about?!
Tommie: ...*slowly raises hand*
Richard: Put your hand down, Thomas.

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Freya: Welcome to Bible study, we'rr all children of Jesus-
Amani: *snorting coke in the back of the room*
Freya: kuMBAYAAAA mY LORDDDD

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*Henry, half turning into Hyde*
Alastor, breaking in: Oh, good, you're not busy
Henry: ...Actually, Alastor, I AM busy-

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No one:
Aaron: Oh thanks for stopping by I'm still a piece of garbage

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Richard: *walking up the stairs with a croissant*
Adalyn, jumping up behind him: AH!
Richard: AAAAAAAAA- Stop, I could've dropped my croissant!

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Beatrice: Name an aninal with three letters in its name
Amani: Alligator
Raheem: ...You fucking idiot-

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Freya: People say I can't do what I want without college
Freya: I don't need no degree to be a clothing hanger

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Maurice: I'm Maurice with a B and I've been scared of insects my whole life
Julian: Stop, stop - Where? Where's the B?
Maurice, jumping onto the table: tHERE'S A BEE-?

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Edgar: Hey, hey, kids - ALEXANDER!
Edgar: ...
Edgar: Quiet down bud, I'm just trying to do something-

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Edgar: Alright, so, Adalyn has 15 different swords-
Alexander: Wait, why does Adalyn have so many swords-
Adalyn, turning from fixing her display of swords: MIND YOUR BUSINESS, ALEX

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Henry: How did you take down Lawrence-?
Frances: I shot him in the leg because his back was turned and he's an idiot

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Jaxon, going up to Roslyn with some soap in his hand: Smack Cam!
Roslyn, turning away from stove with a wooden spoon in her hand: Puta, I hope the fuck you do-

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http-mementomori

(Wait bonus because this character will be introduced soon)

Jeanette: *calls 911*
Answerer: Hello, 911
Jeanette: Yes, hello, I've just been in a car purpose
Answerer: ...
Answerer: Ma'am, do you mean car accident?
Jeanette: ...No, I hit that bitch on purpose.