Sir Barley of Lightfoot is Victorious | Barley Lightfoot
requested by ILoveFandomGuys, who just started a book of onward imagines as well if y'all are interested!! :-)
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"With a hand on my chest and my mighty sword in my grasp, I stand tall on the edge of the cliff and look out at the endless sea that is in front of me. I do not fear the beast flying towards me nor do I pretend to fear it. I eat dragons like that for breakfast. I pull my arm back, take my stance, shout my cry of fury, and take a look back at my beautiful and awesome warrior princess who is standing behind me---" Barley stopped and looked down at you from where he stood up on a kitchen chair. "Seriously, she is the hottest person in the whole world and I will protect her from any dragon that threatens her life."
You laughed and rolled your eyes. "Barley, you're super sweet but this is serious role-playing time."
He looked away from you. "Who said that I wasn't being serious?"
You patted him on the back. "I love you babe, but you gotta finish! That was really good!"
"Okay, okay." He cleared his throat and stood up taller. You kept your hand on his shoulder and looked at the ceiling, where the tip of his sword pointed. "With a hand on my chest and my mighty sword in my grasp, I stand tall on the edge of the cliff and look out at the endless sea in front of me. I do not fear the beast flying towards me nor do I pretend to fear it. I pull my arm back---" He pulled his arm with the sword back.
"Take my stance---" His feet moved on the chair, spreading apart. His knees bent slightly.
"Shout my cry of fury!" he exclaimed. "And take a look at my heartbreakingly beautiful princess behind me. For I know that I would give my life to protect her from any harm."
You beamed at him as he turned to look at you. He winked and you stretched up to plant a kiss on his cheek.
"And then I sink the blade of my weapon into the belly of the beast! It thrashes in agony, it cries out in frustration, and it eventually falls to the ground in defeat, blood gushing from the wound. Rivers of blood are gushing from it! I yank my sword from its lifeless chest, kick its limbless body off the cliff, and watch it tumble towards the water below! Sir Barley of Lightfoot is victorious!" He threw his hands up into the air and dropped the sword. It fell to the ground with a clatter and he got off of the chair.
"Yay, that was awesome, babe!" you cried. "You should definitely use that for when we play Quests of Yore again. But you know that I have to ask if you really said limbless."
"I did," he said. He took off his helmet and placed it on the table. "I thought it'd be a nice touch, you know? A different sort of twist, if you will."
"It was nice," you said, nodding. You tilted your head and pressed your lips together in a thin line before continuing. "But then it wouldn't be a dragon, it would be an amphithere. That's what it's called if they have no limbs but have two wings."
Barley sighed. "Babe, I know you want it to be scientifically accurate," he said, making finger quotations as he emphasized the words, "but if I say that, it would really only throw off the whole groove I have got going on when I start."
"But then you're role-playing inaccurately, and that isn't very professional of you, Sir Barley of Lightfoot," you retorted.
"Perhaps not but the only person who would know that would be you." He poked your nose. "So I win this time, ha ha!"
You glanced away and stepped back. His hands fell on your shoulders and he pulled you back to him. You looked at him with a fake pout.
"But baby, seriously, you're super cute. I love it when you talk about dragons and I love it when you teach me more about them..."
"Because you love dragons so much?" you teased.
"No," he said. Blazey looked offended from her place under the table. "Because I love you so much."
Your chest warmed and you put your arms over his shoulders and linked your fingers together behind your neck. You looked up at him and searched his eyes. "I'm really glad I married you."
"Yeah, we made a good call on that one, huh?" he asked. He leaned in and pressed his lips against yours, his hands on your waist. He kissed you twice, pulling back after each to just stare at your face. "I love you so very much."
"I love you too, Bar," you breathed. You pressed your lips against his for a third time.
Ian looked away in disgust as he padded down the stairs. He pulled his earbuds from his ears. "Bleh. I thought I heard you guys down here, but I didn't know you'd be kissing."
You pulled away from Barley and wrapped your arm around his waist. You leaned against his chest. "Hey, Ian. How are you?"
"Fine, been busy with homework." He walked to the fridge and took out a carton of milk and a bottle of chocolate syrup. "You guys want chocolate milk?"
"Always," Barley replied.
"So you guys bring laundry or something? Why are you stopping by?" Ian grabbed three glasses from the cabinet.
"Barley wanted to practice role-playing, but he broke both of our kitchen chairs last week doing so, so he had to come here," you explained, moving away from your husband and sitting down in one of the chairs
"So what, you're just going to break our chairs now?" Ian asked. "How about you just not climb on the chairs?"
Barley gasped. "I can't just not climb chairs. It is what helps me really feel like I am stepping up on a cliff! If I have to defend my beautiful wife from a dragon, I must do so from a higher position, you see. This is very serious stuff. You'll understand when you're married one day, little brother."
"I'm sure I will," Ian replied. His phone rang and he answered. "Hey, Mom. Uh, yeah. Yeah, they're already here. Uh-huh. Oh that's okay. Take the chicken out of the freezer and put it on the counter? Alright. Uh --- uh yeah. Yup. Sure, I'll tell him. Love you too."
As he hung up the phone, he passed you your glass of chocolate milk. You sat back in your chair and sipped it.
"Oh, a message for me?" Barley asked.
"Yup." Ian smiled at him. "Mom told me to tell you not to climb on the chairs anymore. Or else."
You snorted. Barley groaned, "Aw man!" He looked at you. "I guess we're going to your parents' house now, babe."
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