L A Y L A ' S P O V

I've been staring blankly out the jet window most of the flight home, aimlessly watching the clouds go by.

I can't say my first impression of Birmingham, Alabama, was a good one.

It's not surprising considering we didn't get to see much of the city and spent practically every waking hour of the last week hunting down an unsub doing some truly disgusting and disturbing things to his victims which were kids.

Now that it's over and he's caught, I feel sick to my stomach thinking of everything we witnessed the past week, things I won't even repeat. I could cry thinking about it. It won't..I don't think. Not until I'm alone anyway.

"Layla?"

I lift my head from where it was leaning against the plane window, finding everyone staring at me. There's a sympathetic look in all their eyes because they all know this was my first emotionally 'difficult' case and I haven't said a word to anyone in hours.

I blink, looking between them all because I honestly don't even know who called my name. "Sorry, what was that?"

JJ leans forward, resting her hand on top of mine. "Are you coming out for a drink with us when land?"

I shake my head in a polite decline, giving them all a small smile. "I love you all but my social battery is drained."

They all nod in understanding and no one else says anything, all focusing back on their phones or paperwork. I cast Derek, who's sitting directly across from me, a quick look to find him already staring at me.

His lips are turned down in a frown while his eyes scan my face, no doubt finding the dejected look across my features. When I'm upset I tend to internalise and go quiet and I definitely can't hide the woeful expression on my face.

Derek subtly reaches his hand underneath the table to find mine, and I don't stop him when he laces our fingers together and squeezes. I let my head fall back against the plane window and smile at him, silently thanking him for the small gesture I needed right now.

Derek and I were on strictly professional mode the whole time we were away. Other than when our hands collided when we were passing paperwork around, we haven't as much as touched each other all week. The fact that I know in a couple of hours from now I can be in his arms, hug him, kiss him and we can try to forget about this whole case is the only thing keeping me from breaking down right now.

I didn't even listen to see if he was going out to the bar with everyone and I won't blame him if he does because what we seen on that case would drive anyone to drink. But I can't handle going out to a crowded bar right now. I want to be alone.. with Derek because he makes me forget about everything bad in this world.

Our hands stay laced together, hidden out of view from everyone underneath the table the whole rest of the flight home.

-

Just like most of the plane ride, the walk to our cars is in almost complete silence.

Even Hotch is leaving at the same time as us. He normally stays back hours after everyone else to wrap up paperwork so him leaving early is a big indication of how bad this case was.

While everyone begins to filter out of the parking lot, I make myself look busy by the truck of my car, aimlessly moving stuff around to buy time so Derek and I can get a chance to talk properly for the first time in a few days.

Once Emily's car finally disappears into the distance, Derek hops out from where he was waiting in his truck and makes his way over to me.

He sits down against the trunk of my car, pulling me by his gentle touch on my hips to stand between his legs. His thumbs slip underneath my shirt, tracing patterns in my skin. It's an innocent touch, nothing sexual about it but it still makes me melt all the same.

Derek smiles at me, his eyes softening. "Hi."

"Hi." I smile back, willing my voice to stay steady. Now that I'm in his arms, I feel like I can finally relax and my wall is inching down every passing second.

In once effortless movement, Derek shifts me to sit sideways across his lap, wrapping his arms around me. "Talk to me," He murmurs, brushing the sweetest, softest kiss across my lips. "Are you okay?"

Damn it. Why is it always that one question that has a lump forming in the back of your throat and the tears that you've been trying so hard to keep at bay spill over.

All of the built up tension and emotions of this last week slip out as I begin to uncontrollably sob. Derek's face falls, like it physically pains him to see me upset and he instinctively pulls me closer, holding me tightly. My body relaxes into his, hugging him back just as tightly as I cry into his chest.

"It's okay, baby. Let it out." Derek says softly, soothingly rubbing circles in my back, running his fingers calmingly through my hair with his other hand.

I don't know how long we sit like this but my tears keep steaming. Derek only holds me tighter, telling me everything will be okay and that we did everything we could. And I know we did, but it still doesn't make it better.

"I'm sorry," I choke on a sob after a few minutes of silence. "This is so embarrassing."

I'm not embarrassed about why I'm crying because having to watch literal children get killed when you can't do anything about it is the worst thing I have, and think I ever will experience.

But more so because I'm sobbing into the chest of someone who I think I'm dating, but I'm also not. Someone who I want to be my boyfriend, but he isn't.

"Don't be sorry," Derek says softly, wiping the falling tears from my cheeks. "Having emotions is not embarrassing."

I eventually gather enough strength to compose myself, but I don't think I'll ever be able to cry myself out over what we witnessed.

I inhale a shaky breath, wiping at my eyes with my sleeve. "What do you do to forget a case?"

Derek cradles my cheek in his palm and I lean into his touch. "Normally, I'll work out."

I look over his shoulder into the trunk of my car to check if I have my running shoes with me and I do. I grimace when I see the state of what once was his white T-shirt.

"I'm sorry about that," I sniffle, attempting to laugh when I wave my finger in the direction of the black mascara marks now on his shoulder.

"It's okay," He shrugs, shooting me a teasing wink. "You can add this to the collection of my clothes you've been stealing."

"I am not." Totally am. Every time he stays over at my place I successfully steal a shirt or sweatshirt. I like wearing them and they smell good like he does. Sue me.

Derek doesn't believe me, but his whole face brightens when I smile at him. "Sure you're not."

I reach behind him and grab my running shoes, ready to try anything to put this case behind me. "Want to go work out?"

"Running track?" Derek asks, jutting his thumb over his shoulder across the training field. When I nod, he smiles. "Let's go."

-

I'm soaked...but not in the good way.

It started heavily pouring rain sometime around our second lap of the running track but neither of us cared, not even stopping or slowing down for a second.

Now we're on what I can only guess is our sixth or seventh lap and we're both drenched head to toe. I honestly don't want to stop just yet but my lungs are burning and my legs feel like jello so I decide to call it quits before I pass out.

I slow myself down to a stop, placing my hands on my knees when I bend over to try to catch my breath. "I'm done."

"Already?" Derek shouts over the heavy downpour with a teasing tone in his voice while he jogs towards me.

I tilt my head up to look at him, letting the rain droplets wash over my face. "Yes, unless you want to carry my limp body back to the car."

"Challenge accepted."

I barely get a chance to blink before Derek scoops me up into his arms effortlessly, starting the walk back over to the parking lot. I laugh, looping my arms around his neck while I enjoy the fact I'm being carried.

"So," Derek grins at me, blinking heavily as the rain continues to wash over us. "What do you think about taking a long hot shower, ordering pizza and falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hands?"

Sounds like heaven. "Wait.. did 'Mr. I only eat healthy' just suggest ordering pizza?"

Derek's lips fold into a line to hide his amused smile. "You've corrupted me."

I laugh, setting my feet back down on the ground when we make it to the parking garage. Now that we're out of the rain, I ring out my hair on the walk to the car.

"But seriously, yes to all of that." I grimace looking down at my drenched clothes. I'm cold, sticky and sweaty. "I'm in desperate need of that shower."

We stop beside both of our cars and Derek grabs a clean sweatshirt from his backseat and passes it to me. I smile at him and I hope he's said his goodbyes because he's never getting it back.

I pull it on over my head, pushing my wet hair out of my face. "Follow me to my apartment?"

Derek shakes his head at my question, looking uncharacteristically nervous. His eyebrows draw lower and his mouth opens and closes a couple of times. He finally blows out a breath and blurts out, "Do you want to come to my house instead?"

He looks relieved once the question is out there and I swear I can actually see the tension lift from his whole body when I smile at him. This seems like a big step for him to invite me to his place. I remember one conversation we had a couple of weeks ago when he said he's never brought anyone to his house.

"I don't know," I tease, trying to bring some amusement to the conversation since he still looks a little nervous waiting for my response. "Does a good pizza place deliver to there?"

Derek grins, a wide full smile. "The best."

Not only is this a huge step for him, this is a huge step for us. I think he might finally be starting to let me in.

"Lead the way."

-

A/N: i hope you enjoyed this chapter and are excited to finally see (read) what Derek's house is like🤣