L A Y L A ' S   P O V

When I was six I got the chicken pox and my birthday party had to be cancelled and at the time, I thought it was the end of my world. I would have said that that was my worst birthday.

Up until today.

I'm completely numb.

The news is still on.

Everyone is here now.

The room is dead quiet.

I haven't moved from the couch.

I can't even speak.

I feel like a part of me has died and isn't coming back.

The tv is showing the scene in live time from a helicopter arial view. The emergency services are spraying water, trying to put out the flames and have been searching through the ruble for survivors.

I've never been religious but I'm hoping, praying that this is all a misunderstanding because I can't bare the thought that this is real. Derek has to be okay. He has to be. But that hope I'm holding out is dwindling with each second that passes and each time I try his phone and it doesn't even ring.

I can't even remember the last thing I said to him.

Isn't that something I'm supposed to remember right now? But I can't. I don't feel anything other than empty inside. And broken. Nothing else seems like it matters.

"This can't be happening." Penelope is in floods of tears on JJ's shoulder. I want to, but I can't even find it in me to comfort her right now because I can't let myself believe that this is happening either.

Averie's hand gently covers mine, putting a stop to where I've been snapping my hair tie against my wrist constantly. I look down and my skin is red raw. I didn't even notice.

There hasn't been much said since everyone showed up. I don't even know how they found out. I completely shut down after Penelope called me. Nothing even has to be said to tell how scared everyone in this room is right now. We're all scared shitless while we wait for any news.

Except Aidan who is peacefully sleeping in Spencer's arms, completely oblivious to the seriousness of what's going on around him. I wish I could be that blissfully unaware too.

The back door slides open and Hotch steps back into the living room. He's been making calls to everyone and anyone he has connections with, trying to find out something, any information at all on the plane crash. I search his face for any sign of good news or an update but when he shakes his head at me, my heart sinks even further.

"Maybe he missed the flight," Emily says. She's been pacing the floor the past ten minutes, nervously biting on her thumb. "He could have missed the flight," She says again, looking at all of us for any type of agreement. "That's a possibility. Right?"

"He wouldn't have missed that flight," I say, my voice barely above a whisper. My throat is scratchy and dry so I swallow harshly. I squeeze my eyes shut, tears rimming my lids. "He wanted to be home by midnight."

Before Derek left on this trip he spent hours on the phone with the airline seeing if there was an earlier flight so he could get here right when it turned to my birthday. In fact, I'm sitting right were we were when we had that conversation.

"And there's nothing else earlier?" Derek listens into the phone for a response, but I can already tell it's not good by his reaction. He sighs deeply when he pinches the bridge of his nose. "No, that's ok. I'll keep the original flight. Thanks for your help."

"Derek, that's the third airline you've tried." My hands slide up his chest, linking around the back of his neck. I'm sitting on his lap and he's half naked, because he only wears boxers when we're at home. I love it. And of course the only underwear rule at home applies to me too. "I hate to break it to you," I tease, brushing my lips over his. "But I don't think you're going to make it back on time."

Even if he doesn't get the case wrapped up for my birthday and has to work, we still have that weekend off so if it comes to it, we can celebrate my birthday then. It's not a big deal to me, but Derek is adamant on wrapping the case up and making it home for me.

Despite the fact that I was joking, Derek frowns at me. "I'm sorry," He says, frustrated. "If I could get out of it I would."

"Don't worry about it." His flight home gets in at three a.m. and I don't think he's factoring in the fact that I'll probably be asleep anyways. "But why is this such a big deal to you?"

"It's your first birthday with me," He says quietly, dipping his head to kiss across my chest. His teeth graze my boob, gently nipping at the skin. "And my first girlfriend's birthday. I want to make it special and I don't want to miss a second of it."

My grin is so wide. "That's really sweet. I promise I'll be waiting in my birthday suit for you to come home—" I watch in confusion as Derek completely stops kissing me and picks up his phone again. "What are you doing?"

"Cancelling my flight," He says, tapping against the screen. "You shouldn't have said that. Now I'm not leaving at all."

I'm laughing when I slap the phone from his hands and before I know it, Derek flips me underneath him, nestling himself between my legs when he kisses me deeply. Our lips are still fused when he eventually slides into me and our bodies melt together, moving against each other like we're one.

It was meant to be our date night that day and we were so wrapped up in each other that we completely missed our dinner reservation that night. It's like nothing else in the world matters when we're together.

I pull my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around them. The first tear drops from my eye when the shock wears off and the reality of the situation seems to sink in and I have to face the fact that he might not ever look at me like that again. Or kiss me like that again.

We were just getting started. We still had so much left. Our whole future.. gone. Just like that.

I turn to Averie when I whisper, "I never got to tell him."

"Oh, Layla," She sighs with so much sympathy it completely breaks my heart. She scoots closer to me, opening her arms. "Come here."

When she hugs herself around me, I finally break down. Tears are streaming down my cheeks as I begin to sob. When we were at dinner earlier I confided in her about how I feel. I told her about how I've felt in the past and how I feel now and she very quickly confirmed my suspicion that I've never been in love before. Until now. Until Derek.

"Jesus Christ. Who died?"

I actually stop breathing at the sound of that voice. Derek's voice. My head whips up so fast and I've never, ever felt more relief at what I see because a very confused Derek just stepped in the front door.

He looks around the room and drops his suitcase by his feet. When his eyes find mine he gives me a silent what the fuck is everyone doing here? look.

"You're here," A rush of adrenaline pulses through my veins and springs me to my feet, rushing to him and leaping into his arms and I couldn't case less that I practically wind both of us from how hard our bodies collide. "Oh my god. You're here. You're okay."

Derek catches me with ease though, wrapping my legs around his waist and I finally feel safe in his arms. "Hey," He says slowly, hand sliding into my hair to cradle the back of my head. "What's going on in here and why are you crying?" The softness Derek gets in his eyes when he looks at me disappears and his face hardens when he looks over my shoulder at everyone. "Which one of you made her cry?"

My hands land on his cheeks, tilting his face from side to side to check for injuries. Thankfully, nothing. "It's because you.. you," My heart is in my mouth and I can't believe I'm looking at his beautiful face right now. "Your plane.." I think I might be hyperventilating. "It crashed. They said there was no survivors."

"Oh, Shit." Derek winces, looking over at the news on the tv. His eyes are wide. "Should we send something?"

I direct his gaze back to me and take a deep breath to control my sobs. "How did you get here?"

Derek's eyes soften and he uses his thumb to swipe away the tears from my cheeks. "When I called you earlier I was already at the airport on standby for an earlier flight. One slight bribe later.. they got me on the first one out." He sighs lowly. "Then my phone died and I couldn't text you and couldn't get an Uber from the airport." He looks over and winces at the tv screen again. "But..it seems like I got a good deal."

I'm still shaking. I can't believe the fact that because he cared and wanted to be here so badly for my birthday, it saved him. I sniffle, tucking my head back into his neck. "Please don't ever scare me like that again."

Derek chuckles into my hair, whispering lowly in my ear. "Layla, I have a slight suspicion everyone might know about us."

"Don't care," I mumble into his neck. I don't care about anything other than the fact that he's okay. I made my decision on what I was going to do about our situation a few weeks ago and it's time to follow through because I will always chose Derek over anything. I lift my head up when I say, "Hotch? I'm quitting."

There was a simple solution to our problem all along. Derek and I can't work together and date, and we sure as fuck aren't breaking up so therefore, we can't work together anymore. This has been Derek's career for over ten years and I've only been here a couple months so obviously I'm the one going to step back. I've held a few different positions at the FBI over the last few years so I know I'll easily find something different.

"You're quitting?" Hotch steps forward, furrowing his eyebrows. "Why?"

"Because we're in a relationship," I say with no hesitation and fuck does it feel so good to say out loud. It's like the huge weight of our secret has been lifted now that it's finally out in the open. Derek seemingly feels just has happy about it. He smiles at me, lacing his fingers through mine. "And we know the rules so.. take this as my official notice."

"I have a confession," Hotch says, looking not at all sorry. "That never posed as much of a problem so the board took away that rule a while ago." A teasing smirk pulls at his lips that he tries to hide. "I didn't tell you because I wanted to see how long you guys thought you were hiding it."

"You knew?" Derek says slowly and his eyes narrow accusingly at him. "You didn't know anything."

Hotch levels Derek with a dead stare. "Morgan, you said 'holy fuck balls' when I introduced you to Layla the first day in the office. Of course I knew."

"For the record," Penelope says, with a smile so bright it lights up the room. "I knew too."

Much to our surprise, JJ, Emily and Rossi follow with their confessions that they knew too. And Averie too of course.

"What the fuck?" Spencer whisper yells, cradling Aidan's head over his shoulder. He covers his ears as not to wake him up. "Am I the only one who didn't know about this?" His appalled eyes land on Derek. "It's Layla?"

How rude. "Don't say my name like that."

Spencer's eyes widen at me. "I didn't mean anything by it. I just—You know what?" He says rhetorically, eyes bouncing between Derek and I. He shrugs, throwing us a look that makes it seem like he's mad at himself for not figuring it out sooner. "This seems about right."

I finally untangle myself from Derek for long enough to let everyone have their chance to give him a well needed I'm glad you didn't die today hug. Averie however, beats on him for a couple minutes, declaring to kill him if he ever scares her like that again.

"Let me get this straight," I say, returning to our previous conversation. "You all knew?"

Penelope nods, whipping out her phone. "Layla, do you remember that time you walked into my office and saw your name on my computer?"

"Vaguely," I say, wracking my brain to remember that conversation. "I think I thought it was a hit list."

"You did think that," She laughs, turning her phone to show me a spreadsheet with the title Layla and Derek. "But it really was the bet me, JJ, Emily and Rossi had where we tallied up who could find the most evidence."

Rossi raises his hand a little. "I caught Layla giving Derek head in the office gym."

Deny, deny deny. "No, you absolutely didn't. That never happened."

Derek snickers beside me. "It happened a little."

I jab my elbow into his side and shoot him a what the fuck look. Hotch may be cool about us dating, but I'm not sure that attitude stretches to fraternising in the work place.

Penelope passes Derek and I her phone to look at the spreadsheet. I'm honestly impressed with the dedication. There's times and dates with almost everything. Apparently JJ would see Derek's truck outside my apartment all the time because she had to pass my complex on the way to Henry's school. Emily seen us at the grocery store, the movies and out to dinner multiple times. And don't ask me how, but Penelope noticed when Derek deleted all his dating apps.

"And the damning evidence that makes me the winner of the hundred dollar wager.." Penelope says excitedly, pulling something out from her purse. "These photos."

When she takes out the strip of Photo Booth pictures Derek and I took on our first date, my eyes widen. "Oh my god. I thought I lost these." When I went looking for them a few days later and couldn't find them anywhere, I assumed they fell out of my purse with the commotion of Derek's appendix situation. I'm so happy they're not lost.

Penelope grins, curling her fingers into her palm at Rossi, JJ and Emily. "Pay up, bitches."

When we all laugh, Aidan stirs awake on Spencer's shoulder. "Dad?" He asks through a sleepy yawn. "What are we doing at Derek's house?"

Spencer, who doesn't want to traumatise his son on the real reason they came over here in the first place, rubs his hand down Aidan's back. "Celebrating," He says through a small laugh. "Your uncle Derek finally got himself a girlfriend."

The tiredness quickly fades from Aidan's eyes and his head whips up, searching for Derek and I. "I didn't tell anyone," He whispers, shocked. "I promise."

"It's okay, Aidan," Derek laughs. "Everyone knows. They all had a bet going."

Aidan looks around the room before he wiggles out of Spencer's hold. He climbs up on the couch to get closer to Penelope who is counting her bet money proudly. "Well, in that case.." He swipes the money from her hand, grinning brightly. "I knew first so I win."

"What?" Penelope gasps, hunching down to his level and playfully narrowing her eyes. "You didn't know first."

"Yes I did," He says, nodding intensely. He looks towards Derek and I in approval to share our secret. When we give him the go ahead, Aidan grins. "I caught Derek hiding in Layla's bathroom."

"And you didn't tell me?" Averie gasps, shocked. "For future reference.. that's the type of thing you tell me, okay?"

We all laugh at how Aidan's not even listening to her, fanning the bills in his hands while he mumbles about how he's going to spend the money on ice cream. While everyone is occupied, Derek's hand slips around my waist and he pulls me into the dining room, out of view of everyone.

"What are you doing?" I laugh, giddily following his step.

Derek's hands on my hips guide me to the back wall, directing my focus to the clock that reads exactly 12:00 a.m.

I turn, smiling warmly at him. "You made it home to me."

"I made it home to you," Derek dips his head and his mouth closes over mine, kissing me deeply. "Happy birthday, Layla."

-

A/N: see? Trust me🫶 next chapter.. I'm glad you're alive sex? And maybe those three little words???👀