Rena was numb as she read the text.  I have honored your request to be left alone, but I couldn't bear to leave without telling you that we're gone.  Her heart went dead.  She started hitting her chest as though she were trying to start it again.  She was past crying.  Over the last few weeks all she'd done was try to keep herself from feeling.  Now the dryness in her throat was back.  The stinging in her eyes was the precursor for the flood of tears to come.  The gates of her mind mercilessly caused her to remember.  In a flash it seemed that her lifetime with Blake went before her - every special moment of it and every sequence of pain.  It was all there.  She was reliving it as a movie in her mind.  Then the pain hit.  A guttural wail came from her core.  Clarissa ran to the room and comforted her until the wave of emotions subsided.

"Did he leave?"

"Yes.  Is this how you were with dad?"

"Worse, baby.  You weren't married to Blake.  I was married to your dad for twenty-seven great years.  The only reason we had our ups and downs was because of our dreams.  I had to let him go and I had to save you from this place."

"What was the worst part for you?"

"Knowing that he was about to take you and signing the divorce papers.  Rena, I thought you'd get over everything and be okay.  I never thought you would hate me so.  I've paid my whole life for that."

"It's just not going to do us any good to look at our past.  You and Dad are responsible for all the good I've had in life."

Clarissa enfolded Rena.  "That means the world to me, knowing that some good came out of this takes away a lot of my pain."

"Not some good, Mama – a lot of good.  How do I cope?"

"You're probably going to be very angry with a lot of things for a long time.  Then you'll question whether you made the right decision to let him go.  At some point you'll come to accept the hand that you've been dealt.  After that comes a calm.  After the calm, then comes healing.  Nobody knows how long that will take."

Rena reached across her bed and grabbed a tissue and cleaned up her face.  "I feel like I'm choking on the inside."

"Do you want me to call Eldred and ask him to prescribe a sedative for you?"

"I think I will need one, but give me a few hours and let me see how I'm feeling.  Every part of my body is aching.  I wouldn't want to imagine what you must have felt when Dad and I left.  Now I feel horrible for the way I acted at the airport."

Clarissa stroked Rena's hair.  She was feeling herself begin to choke up but she knew that wouldn't do either of them any good.  Someone had to be the rock.  Clarissa would be that rock and see Rena through this storm.  "You didn't know what was going on.  It was a natural reaction.  I pushed that thought out of my mind as soon as I could, so don't feel bad about it now."

"Will the movies ever stop playing in my head?"

"Not for a while.  You'll learn to control which movies play."

"I'm going to call Eldred.  You need to get a lot of sleep.  There's no point in putting yourself through more than you have to.  Medication can help.  I'll go to the pharmacy to pick it up.  Sleep was my best friend.  I think it will be yours, too."

***

After a month, Ian and Avery were adjusting to married life as much as they could while living in two homes.  Avery didn't want to move Chloe into a new school district yet and Ian didn't have enough space in his home to bring his new family permanently in while Rena was still there.  So they decided to live in both homes.  Rena stepped up to be the caretaker for Clarissa instead of Ian. 

The bond between Rena and Clarissa grew stronger every day.  Clarissa had been such a great help to Rena as the scab of her life began to form.  Rena was controlling her thoughts now and she'd learned to play only the good memories of Blake.  They were comforting.  She allowed an ember in her heart to burn that he was coming back.

Ian was doing a fantastic job of running The Chicken and Waffle Inn.  Rena was always there to help, too. She was enjoying having Avery as a sister-in-law and really getting to know Chloe.  Ian got Blake to reverse some of the passwords on the computer so that Clarissa could have more access, but when Ian offered her the opportunity she declined.  She said she was happy with her role of greeting customers and running the cash register.  After all her years of hard work Mrs. Madison was perfectly fine with being the Chief Observation Officer.  She helped Ian find plenty of things that could be improved upon. 

Things couldn't have been better.  That's why it was a complete surprise when Ian got a call from an investor.  "Hello, this is Ian Blackshear."

"Mr. Blackshear, my name is Mark Benet from Scott Investments in Atlanta.  We want to expand some of our holdings in Savannah and would like to make you an offer on The Chicken and Waffle Inn."

Ian was stunned.  "The Chicken and Waffle Inn is not for sale."  As Ian spoke those words it impacted him.  This was the first time in his life he'd ever formed an allegiance to the restaurant.  He kept rolling those words over in his head – not for sale.  "You said you were from Atlanta, how did you find out about us?"

"Quality restaurants have a way of becoming known, Mr. Blackshear.  We're prepared to make you a generous offer."

"I said it's not for sale."

"If you change your mind, our offer for the restaurant is $250,000."

"Thank you for your time, Mr. Benet, but I'm not interested in selling.  Please excuse me, but I have other matters to tend to.  Good bye."

After the call Ian had an odd sensation go over him.  He knew the value of The Chicken and Waffle Inn and this offer was much more than it was worth.  Market value for restaurants in the area were about $100,000 to $150,000.  He typed in the computer and found Scott Investments.  They were a relatively new company.  There was not a lot about them on their website other than that they bought properties.

Ian decided to chalk the conversation up to happenstance and move on with his day.

***

Rena decided to stop by and see Dr. Clark on her way back from checking on Blake's house.  He was such good company.  Dr. Clark was happy to see her.  As usual they sat on his back porch and had tea.

"I just want to say from an unofficial observation that Clarissa is doing well.  Now if you want to know all the details, just ask Eldred."  He said with a wink.

"That's good to hear, Dr. Clark."

"Did she tell you they were going on a cruise?"

"Eldred did tell me that, but he never gave me a firm date."

"They should be out of here in about three weeks.  I think it will do both of them good.  This whole matter between the two of them is finally dawning on me."

"It's been six years, Dr. Clark, shame on you."

"Well you know what they say, you can't teach an old dog new tricks.  So how are things with you, Rena?"

She took a sip of tea and really had to think about how to answer that question.  She didn't want to give a one-word answer.  She could say – fine, but that wouldn't open a conversation and she liked the words of wisdom that Dr. Clark could provide.  Yet she didn't want to say too much because she knew that she didn't want to undue the scab.  There was still a very thin line between life as normal and being emotionally uncomfortable.  She decided to answer that question with the truth. "I miss Blake terribly.  I wake up thinking about him.  I go to sleep at night with him in my heart, but I'm coping very well."

"It takes a very strong person to do what you did, Rena."

"Sometimes I wonder if it was the right thing to do.  Mom told me I was going to feel that way at some point.  I think that's what troubles me the worst."

"Your gut reaction is often right when it feels wrong.  In your eyes it was right to choose the path of least resistance, but it can still be an effective weapon in love and war.  Don't think that Blake's not thinking about you, too.  I know what I saw when both of you were on my porch that day.  I saw two people who belong together.   Life has a strange way of turning things around."

"You really feel that way?  You're just not trying to make me feel better?"

"No, I'm not saying this to make you feel better.  I really feel that way.  The wrong thing to do would've been to break them up.  You could have easily done that.  You'd have nothing left but regrets because break ups never bring closures.  You're together one moment and the next moment you're not.  Plus you leave the door open to 'what if we had stayed together?' If Blake comes back to you, it won't be that way.  The relationship will be closed, with no open doors."

"Are you sure you weren't supposed to be a relationship psychologist?"

Dr. Clark smiled, "Oh and I meant to ask, how is the restaurant going since Blake's been gone?"

"Ian's doing a great job."

"I knew he could do it if he ever decided to settle down.  That makes me feel a lot better knowing that Clarissa won't be under undue stress.  Did I hear correctly?  Is he married?"

"He married Avery.  It happened so fast.  They kept everything private so it shocked people when they found out.  They seem very happy."

"Good for both of them.  It's been a while since he and Debbie divorced.  Avery's always been a very respectable young lady.  Tell them that I wish them the best."

***

Ian's heart soared when Chloe said goodnight and added the magical word, Dad.  It was one of those types of memories that he knew would be permanently etched in his mind.  Avery nearly squeezed the life out of her and Ian kissed her hand.  He earned her respect without even trying.  Ian was being the best that he could be and Chloe felt his sincerity and honored him with the title.  The little girl smiled as she walked away.

"I never saw that coming."

Avery kissed his forehead.  "You should have.  She adores you."

"I always wanted children.  Debbie had two miscarriages and we stopped trying after that.  Miscarriages are hard on a marriage."

"That's something that I wouldn't wish on anyone."  Avery grabbed Ian's hand.  "Let's take a walk."

Avery and Ian often took walks after they put Chloe to bed.  The neighborhood that Avery lived in was like a storybook with lots of lush trees feeding off the tributaries nearby.  These were cottage houses that reminded you of being near a coastal town with long, winding sidewalks which presented an open invitation to amble by anytime. It was one of the many routines they were developing.  The night air was refreshing and always helped to give them a sound sleep.

"I'm proud of the way you've been handling the restaurant since Blake's been gone."

"I appreciate that.  I have so many new things I want to try.  I'm excited about us growing.  Do you know that we're selling twice as much peach cobblers during the week since we started Meal of the Month Monday?  We used the cobblers and appetizers to get people to the restaurant on our slowest day of the week. I had no idea that the free items on Monday would increase the weekly sales of those same items.  The staff really likes the rotating weekend shift that we started so that everyone gets a chance at some point to have the weekend off."

"You're beginning to sound like a real entrepreneur."

"Am I?"

Avery stroked his hand.  "Ian Blackshear, you've got so much potential.  Open up that mind of yours and flow."

Ian stopped and kissed Avery in a way that let her know that she was appreciated. "You're good for me."

They continued to walk through the neighborhood conversing about many things.  Since they hadn't courted, there was a lot to learn about each other.  Even though they'd known each other for years, being married was different.  It was a different kind of knowing.  It was personal and intimate.  They needed to learn how to become more than friends.  The patterns they began to develop helped to cement the new bonds. 

Avery wasn't any good in the morning unless she had a cup of coffee first.  He learned very quickly not to disturb her until she had her coffee.  Ian avoided cooking like the plague even though he was raised in a family of cooks, but he loved shopping at the grocery store.  Avery took full advantage of that.  They both loved the same type of music, enjoyed watching sports on TV and loved their evening walks.  Ian was set in his ways and Avery was very regimented and used to making all the decisions.  They each had to learn to give a little.  This began to help major irritations to become minor ones.  For the first year of marriage that was a great accomplishment.

After walking for about a mile, they headed back to the house.  Ian and Avery had begun to talk more about things that were happening in the restaurant and that made Ian recall Mark Benet.  "I got a strange call last week from some investor named Mark Benet.  He asked me if I wanted to sell the restaurant."

"What?"

"It was weird.  He said he'd heard about us because of our reputation.  Then he said they were based out of Atlanta."

"What did you tell him?"

"When he asked me to sell the restaurant, it did something to me.  It made me feel bonded to The Chicken and Waffle Inn.  It was a surreal feeling.  I told him the restaurant was not for sale."

"Are you saying that you have no intentions of selling the restaurant or that, for at least now, the restaurant isn't for sale?"

Ian turned to Avery and had such a complex look on his face.  He truly didn't know how to answer that question.  "I knew at that moment I had no intentions of selling the restaurant, but I'm not at the point of looking ahead yet.  I'm just getting used to me being more responsible.  I don't know whether I want to explore other options for my life besides the restaurant.  At the same time I'm thinking about Mom.  What is the right decision, keeping her in mind?  I just don't know.  He offered me $250,000, Avery."

She looked surprised.  "That's so much more than the restaurant is worth."

"I know.  That's a lot of money and we'd make a serious profit.  I don't know what to do."

They were silent most of the way back to the house.  This was no easy matter.  Avery wrapped her arm around Ian.  "The fact that you're struggling with this lets me know that you really love The Chicken and Waffle Inn more than you ever have.  You used to have the attitude just let Rena run this and get me out of here.  If she can't run it, then sell it."

"I've got a lot to think about and I must admit that was a tempting offer."

"I'm glad you turned it down, Ian.  I'm not going to try to influence your decision.  All I ask is that you think of all the consequences of your actions.  There's a lot at stake."

"I love you.  I know."

***

Mrs. Madison was glad to see Rena come back to work at The Chicken and Waffle Inn.  She had become such a fixture in the place that many people asked about her while she had been away.  There was something about Rena's presence that made the restaurant a little more special.  Mrs. Madison couldn't quite explain it, but she knew when all the Blackshear's and Blake were together at the restaurant it reminded her of the good times that they all had years ago.  She'd often watched Rena and Blake over the last few months and knew in her heart that nothing had really changed between them.  She hated that Rena was caught in the middle of the relationship between Courtney and Blake. 

"Rena, it's so good to have you back.  Please tell me that you're staying for awhile because we've missed you."

"I'll be here awhile."  She squeezed Mrs. Madison's hand and walked her towards a nearby table.  "So, how're Ian and Clarissa doing while I was away?"

"Clarissa comes in but has been leaving early most days.  Eldred has been picking her up and they've been spending most of the afternoons together after he gets off work from the hospital.  One of the customers told me that he has two interns working for him now who are trying to meet their requirements for residency and that has freed up his time."

"That's fortunate."

"Yes, it is and especially for Clarissa.  Between Eldred taking her away from the stress and Ian removing her responsibilities, she's a different person now.  To be honest with you, Rena, I don't even recognize Ian.  He and Avery have really thrown themselves into this place.  You know Avery was already a dedicated worker, but now, it's incredible to watch the two of them."

Rena smiled. "I never thought I'd see this day with Ian."

"Nobody did."

"How are things working out with you being the Chief Observation Officer?"

Mrs. Madison laughed.  "You see this clip board and pen?  That's all I have to do and of course I love it.  That saint, Blake, knew these old bones needed a rest.  I've been here thirty years, I can be here another thirty with this cushy position."

"Where would we be without you Mrs. Madison?  You mean so much to all of us."

Mrs. Madison stretched her hand across the table and gazed deep into Rena's eyes.  She could see so much hurt still in them.  "What about you, Rena, how are you doing?"

"Well, I'm here today and that should tell you that I'm better.  I know that I'm getting stronger.  My whole life has been wrapped around Blake Glass and it seems like I've hit a wall.  I'll get through it."

"You will get through this, Rena.  I want you to know he was miserable when he left.  It was all over his face.  He and Courtney had a big argument because she didn't want to move to Florida."

"Blake told me that she agreed to go with him."

"Initially she agreed to go, but I think the closer it came to being a reality she didn't want to leave Savannah.  She was saying that all her work was being disrupted and if you'd gone back to New York, none of this would be happening."

Rena's skin prickled.  She didn't know what to think.  "Then what happened?"

"Blake calmed her down.  He told her that she was being very selfish, not considering that you needed to be here for Clarissa, and that you had given them an honorable way to handle their relationship.  He let her know that you were kind enough to be considerate of her and that she needed to respect you and to give you time to be with your mother since you'd been apart for so many years."

"What did she do after that?"

"She settled down.  They left a few days after I heard that argument.  You did the right thing letting them go."

"That's what Mom and Dr. Clark said, too, but I'm not sure that I did."

"Rena, in true love there is always a sacrifice.  Unless you are willing to give all for the person that you love, the relationship will never be able to stand the tests of life.  You loved him enough to let him go.  That's the ultimate sacrifice.  I've been married forty-five years.  Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.  If he comes back to you, your relationship is going to be stronger than ever."

"I wish there didn't have to be an 'if.'"

"You wouldn't want it any other way, Rena.  He needs to choose and you can't do that without 'if.'  Once he's made his choice, he'll never turn back.  In the end that's what really matters – a lifelong commitment to the person that he truly loves.  I'm hoping that's going to be you."

"You're so sweet."

***

Mark Benet was constant in his phone calls to Ian about selling the restaurant.  He kept increasing the offer.  Ian held his resolve and told him, "No."  Every time he heard himself say, "No," he felt another part of him bonding to the restaurant.  This particular day Avery walked into the office and saw him in deep thought.

"Are you okay, Ian?"

"He just offered me $400,000 for the restaurant."

"Are you serious?"

"I couldn't believe it.  He said that the reputation of the restaurant was worth the offer.  According to Mr. Benet they are willing to make the investment because they'll franchise the operation, and know that they'll immediately get their money back."

Avery sat in a chair across from Ian and didn't say anything.  She'd kept her word and didn't interfere with Ian's thoughts.  He looked at her wishing she would comment but knew that she wouldn't.  "I told him, 'No.'" He could see the relief on her face.

"Raising the stakes isn't making it very easy for you, Ian."

"I've been able to stand so far.  Hopefully he won't call back."

"From what you've told me that doesn't seem likely.  He seems like a very aggressive man."

"Yeah, he is.  But something about this situation doesn't set right with me.  I can't put my finger on it.  We're not the only successful restaurant in Savannah."

"Maybe he's making offers to other owners.  We don't know if that is the case or not."

"You're probably right.  I'm sticking with no, Avery."

***
Rena normally stopped by to check on Blake's home every other week.  The bright smell of lemons greeted her.  Blake showed her where to order the potpourri and where to place it in the air vents.  But today that pleasant familiar scent wasn't there.  It was a rancid odor.  She knew she'd kept everything tidy; all the trash had been emptied.  As she walked toward the kitchen the smell got more pungent.  It was coming from the refrigerator.  That was the place that she forgot to clean.  Blake had left in such a hurry he didn't empty the refrigerator before he left.

She opened the door and then shut it quickly.  "That smells awful."  Rena found the cleaning supplies for the kitchen and began to look around for large garbage bags so that she could dump everything.  She couldn't find the bags in the kitchen so she checked a small closet right outside the kitchen door.  As she pushed things around looking for bags she saw a box at the bottom of the closet with her name on it.  She pulled it out.  Then she saw that the garbage bags had fallen behind the box.

She was tempted to open the box, but decided it would be better to take care of the smell.  It took Rena about an hour to get everything out of the refrigerator and freezer, and then to thoroughly clean it.  Next she placed the pots, pans and other items into the dishwasher.  She took a break for a few minutes and then carried the box into the living room.

When she opened the box her eyes began to water.  It was filled with memories.  There were pictures of Blake and her playing on the beach when they were five years old, and pictures of Clarissa and Blake's mother playing with them. He had kept several photo albums that she'd never seen before.  They were filled with pictures of Blake and her growing up.  She was touched.

As she continued to pull the items from the box she saw that he'd kept mementoes of things they used to do together – ticket stubs from movies they'd seen, team spirit badges they wore at high school football games, and flowers that he'd picked as they'd walked on the beach were now dried and pressed between pages of the albums.  Blake even kept the first menu that he and Rena worked on for the restaurant.  Going through the box was like walking through time.

There were old VCR tapes marked birthdays and holidays.  She found a DVD marked compilation.  Then she began to see clippings.  Blake kept up with her career when she moved to New York.  Every time she got a promotion, he'd found out about it.  There were years of memories displayed in the box.  She could barely handle all the different emotions flowing through her.  Then all of a sudden Blake's collection ended. He'd meticulously kept everything year by year and then it stopped. 

She looked at the last thing he had in the box.  It was a sealed letter with her address on it.  The letter was dated three years ago but he never mailed it.  Rena's heart was pounding wondering if she should open the letter.  She could feel her stomach twisting in knots.  The thought of how much he truly loved her and had preserved their memories made her ache.  The thought of how she'd allowed bitterness to keep her from this awesome man made her feel sick.  Now she was faced with opening a letter that she knew would tear her apart emotionally.  She held on to the letter staring at it.  Then she realized she couldn't do it.  She was in no emotional shape to read the letter today, perhaps not ever.  Instead she picked up the DVD that was marked compilation and placed it in the DVD player.

What she saw amazed her.  Blake had someone take their pictures and videotapes and put them on a DVD with all of their favorite country songs playing in the background.  She sank onto the sofa and wrapped herself in a blanket.  For two hours their life trailed across her mind.  Many of the images she'd remembered and then others she had no idea when they were taken.  When the DVD ended the scab that was over her emotions was raw again.  She loved this man more than life and at that moment prayed to God that he'd come back to her.

***

Mark Benet showed up at The Chicken and Waffle Inn like any other customer during the busy workweek.  He ordered their legendary southern fried chicken and waffle fries basket and washed it down with an ice-cold glass of peach tea.  He observed the efficiency of the staff and the Deep South hospitality of the waitresses.  Then he walked about the facility, got a glimpse into the kitchen as the doors swung open as the servers carried out the orders.  Then he checked the men's restroom and found it spotless.  It appeared that this was a well-run organization.  He tapped one of the waitresses.  "I'm here to speak with Ian Blackshear."

"He's right over there.  I'll go get him."

Mark was surprised to see Ian.  He'd been watching him during his meal and noted that he was one of the busiest people working.  He watched the waitress point Ian to his direction.  Ian walked over and extended a warm handshake.  "I'm Ian Blackshear, what can I do for you, sir?"

Ian smiled at the distinguished looking gentleman.  Not many people visited the restaurant dressed in expensive brown suits.  Most of their patrons were the jeans crowd.  Mr. Benet stood out.  His thick blonde hair was a great contrast for his suit.  He was clean shaven and perfect as a manikin in a fine department store.

"I'm Mark Benet.  You've got a fine establishment here."  Mark noticed the firm grip Ian had on his hand loosen.  He looked irritated.  Mr. Benet's determination got under Ian's skin.   "I'm sorry to stop by unannounced.  I just wanted to get a good feel of the operations and taste the food.  It's as good as it's been described."

"Mr. Benet, I'm glad that you enjoyed your time here but I'm afraid that my decision has not changed.  There are plenty of restaurants in Savannah that I'm sure would be more than happy to take your generous offer."

"That may be so, but not many are franchise potential.  I'm raising the offer to $600,000."

Now Ian felt really uncomfortable.  What was going on with Mr. Benet?  "Excuse me, you'd offer me $600,000 for this restaurant?  I'm well aware of our value, Mr. Benet, but I'm also aware that at some point overpricing can have detrimental affects.  To pay an excessive amount doesn't seem to be a wise business move."

"I can assure you that we know exactly what we're doing."

"The answer is still no."

"This is my final offer, Mr. Blackshear."

"I'm not selling The Chicken and Waffle Inn.  I have work to do, so please excuse me, Mr. Benet."

Ian walked away.  Mr. Benet followed behind him.  "You're making a big mistake."

Ian swung around.  His face was formidable.  "I take that as a threat.  I don't know who you are or what you're doing but if you come in here again, I'll have you arrested.  Don't contact me again by any means."

Ian was so angry that he stormed off.  He saw Avery standing by the cashier station and tapped her on the shoulder.  "Come with me."

They went into the office and Ian closed the door behind them.  Avery could see that he looked exasperated.  "Ian what's wrong?"

"Did you see that man I was talking to?"

"Yes I did."

"That was Mark Benet."

Avery threw her hands in the air.  She was frustrated.  Mark Benet had constantly called them.  He was relentless with his pursuit of the restaurant.  The amount of money he was dangling would have worn most people down.  "Is this ever going to stop?"

"I told him not to contact us again.  He offered me $600,000."

"That's insane."

"I know.  But he said something that made me really upset.  When I told him that I was not going to sell, he said that I was making a big mistake.  I told him if I ever saw him around here again that I'd have him arrested."

Ian watched the color drain from Avery's face.  "I didn't mean to upset you, baby."

"No, Ian, it's okay.  I'm shocked.  This is the kind of thing that you see on the news, but not in our little town of Savannah.  It must be some type of illegal activity he's trying to bring in here to say something like that."

"I don't know, Avery, we'll just have to watch things.  If he persists, I won't hesitate to get the police involved."

"I'm so glad you stood up to him." She said wrapping her arms around him.  "I couldn't be more proud of you."

"All of this has made me realize where my place is.  I'm not selling the restaurant.  I'm going to make this business grow more than it ever has grown.  I want to do new things.  I want the staff invested more and will be getting their input in a lot of areas.  It took Mark's offers to make me realize that I'm really bound to this place.  This is where I'm called to be."

"Ian, that's so wonderful.  I'm so happy that you finally made your decision.  Clarissa is truly going to be able to rest now."

***

Over the next few weeks Rena struggled with opening the letter.  Every time that she went by Blake's house she was so tempted to open it.  She was doing a really good job at resisting until tonight.  Part of her mind told her to leave the envelope unopened and to respect Blake's wishes not to mail the letter.  The other part of her mind said to open the letter because that was the last memory in the box.  When she picked up the letter she knew there was no turning back.  Her skin prickled as she tore open one end and slid the letter out.

She was surprised that the letter was not typed.  It was written in his beautiful script.  It made the letter feel more warm and personal.  As she began to read she could feel herself hyperventilating.  She knew it would take a while to read through the pages.  Her heart was smitten with the first words.

My dearest Rena,

Why didn't you come?  I tried to understand how you felt but couldn't.  Clarissa is so sick.  I called you.  Ian called you and everyone that we both know called you.  I don't think you realize how sick Clarissa is.  Or perhaps you do know, but don't care.  That's the one that troubles my heart the most.  The girl that I've always loved was sweet, kind and couldn't hold that much hate in her heart.  The day that I told you she was having her first chemo treatment and you weren't there was the day I decided that I couldn't love you anymore, because my heart was hurting so badly.

Your mother loves you, Rena.  I don't know why she did what she did, but I know that it must have been out of love.  There is no way that Clarissa abandoned you.  She wouldn't do that.  I'm very upset that you're not back in Savannah for your mother - but not just your mother, Rena, but for me.

I have loved you my whole life.  I've been so patient and never gave up hope that you would come back home.  Now as I sit here at the hospital, it's finally dawned on me that you don't share that love.  You've got so much hate in your heart you don't have room for love.  If you did love me you couldn't hurt me this badly.  I've just got to move on.  I can't imagine the rest of my life without you.  But if I don't get you out of my head I won't have a life worth living. 

I want a wife.  I want to be loved.  I want a family.  Up until today, I always thought that you would give that to me.  I believed with all my heart that you would come around.  But you can't.  You're determined to live in the past.  The saddest part of all is that the past doesn't even exist anymore.  It's only a memory.  You're allowing old memories to control the life that you have instead of seeing how blessed you are and how much everyone loves you, especially me.  I can't allow your bitterness to destroy me.  I love you, Rena.  I truly hope that one day you'll find a way to get beyond your pain.

Blake

Rena's hands were shaking as she sat the letter in her lap.  She couldn't move.  She was in too much pain to cry.  Tears wouldn't be adequate to describe the earthquake that was going on in her emotions.  Her head began to throb mercilessly.  She folded the letter and slid it back into the envelope.  "I'm so sorry Blake."  The weight of his words crushed her.  The realization of how very wide she left the door open for another woman to take Blake's heart cut her even more.  Regret is a terrible taskmaster.

She was so ashamed of her behavior and for the first time in her life, was willing to take full responsibility for everything that happened.  She didn't create the circumstances that affected her life, but she had chosen how to respond to those circumstances.  It was her choice to become bitter.  It was her choice to say that all the love Blake had for her was not enough to help her to move on with her life.  From the depths of her heart, she began to speak.

"I'm sorry for all the pain that I've caused everyone.  I'm sorry for hurting Blake.  Most of all I'm sorry for hurting myself.  I'm forgiving myself and I forgive everyone that hurt me whether it was intentional or not.  I can't do anything about my past, but I'm determined to have a better future."

Then Rena found a sheet of paper and wrote Blake a note.

You're right about everything that you wrote in this letter.  I ask you to forgive me.  I will love you for the rest of my life whether we're together or not. 

She folded the note and put it in the envelope with the other letter.  Just as she found Blake's letter, she knew that he would eventually find her note.  Then she put everything back in the closet and sealed the box.  Rena didn't go back to Ian's that night.  She ordered dinner from a take out restaurant and decided to sleep there.  Somehow she felt that she needed to be close to Blake and this was the closest she would be able to get.  After dinner, she showered and put on one of his shirts and fell asleep on his bed.  The smell of him brought her comfort.  Tomorrow she'd be ready to move on with life.

***

It was now two days before the cruise.  Clarissa was so excited about going on the trip.  Eldred was the joy of her life and to be with him for six amazing years was worth celebrating.  She hadn't gone into the restaurant that morning because she decided to stay home and pack.  She showed up around 5:00 PM that afternoon to greet the dinner guests. 

Mrs. Madison walked up to Clarissa and started chatting about the trip.  "We're going to miss you being gone a whole week."

"Eldred and I have been planning this for a while.  It seems like every time that we've done it in the past something came up.  For once I can leave this place and feel good about it."

"That's great, Clarissa.  Are y'all driving or flying to the port?"

"We decided to fly this time.  It will get us onboard the ship faster and we won't have to stay in those long lines.  The flight is only about 30 minutes and we'll board early.  Eldred hates paying for parking, so we'll take a cab once we get off the plane."

"That's a good idea."

"Have you seen Ian?"

"Matter of fact, Clarissa, I haven't seen Ian or Avery.  They're always out front.  You want me to go check?"

"No, they're probably in the office.  I'll go back there.  I need to make sure that there's nothing he needs me to do before I leave.  I don't plan to come in to the restaurant again until we get back."

Clarissa walked towards the office and was about to go in when she saw the door closed and heard Avery and Ian in a heated discussion.  It appeared that Avery was very upset and Ian was trying to explain something.  She knew she shouldn't be prying but she couldn't draw herself away from the door. 

"You don't understand, Avery, I didn't have a choice."

"Surely there is something that can be done besides this, right?  You've got to be able to get out of that contract"

"You know I didn't want to sell the restaurant, but I didn't have a choice."

Clarissa grasped her chest and tried to remain steady.  She could feel her knees bending.  She braced herself against the wall.  In a flash the history of The Chicken and Waffle Inn flooded through her mind.  She recalled the first day the restaurant had opened.  Images of her mother cooking in the kitchen were so vivid that it felt real.  She saw her husband picking her up from work at the end of a long day, and Rena and Blake teasing each other as they cleaned tables.  Most of the images of her laboring with the staff and engaging with the customer came into view.  The thought that Ian had sold the beloved place broke her heart.  She sank to the floor. 

"What did Mr. Benet say to you?  What?  Did he raise the price to a million dollars?  What could he possibly have said to change your mind?"

Ian was upset with himself.  Avery was asking so many questions he didn't know where to start.  He dreaded facing Clarissa and having to tell the rest of the family what he'd done.  He didn't think that they'd ever believe him when he said that he didn't have a choice.  He was still reeling from what had really happened.  He wasn't ready to share that with anyone yet, not even Avery.

"It wasn't Mr. Benet.  I can't give you all the details, but I promise to take care of this matter.  You've got to trust me on this, Avery."

"Poor Clarissa.  This is going to kill her.  I was sure that you weren't going to do it.  Things have been going so well.  Ian, I don't know what to say."

"Trust me, Avery.  What I've done is best for all of us."

Avery didn't say anything.  She walked out the door and was shocked to see Clarissa sitting on the floor with her knees against her chest.  She was rocking back and forth with tears streaming down her face.  "Oh, my God!"  Avery cried.

Ian stepped outside the door and nearly fainted.  "Mom, you don't understand.  It's not what you think.  You've got to give me a chance to work this out."

"I trusted you, Ian.  You were actually running this place for once in your life.  I was so proud of you.   How could you do this to all of us?  How could you sell the restaurant?"

"Mom, you don't know the whole story.  I did what I had to do."

"Then tell me the whole story, Ian."

"I can't right now."

Clarissa stood up and walked away.  Avery tried to follow her but she lifted her hand and motioned for Avery to go away.  She turned to look at Ian and shook her head.

"Trust me, Avery."

"What happened, Ian?"

"Avery, I can't..."

"All right, Ian, I trust you.  I will support whatever you do.  Come through for me.  Do you hear me?"

Ian nodded his head.  Avery went to find Clarissa, but Mrs. Madison told her that she left and was very upset.  "Is everything all right?"

"No, Mrs. Madison, everything is not all right and won't be so for a very long time.  I can't talk about it now but you'll find out soon enough."

***

Clarissa didn't remember the drive to the hospital.  She was at the restaurant one minute and thirty-five minutes away at the hospital the next.  Her eyes were glazed over and all her actions were mechanical.  She was numb.  When she opened Eldred's office door he immediately knew something was wrong.   He leapt out of his seat and as he headed for her, she was already collapsing.  He grabbed her before she hit the floor.  "Nurse!"

His nurse bolted to the door. "We've got to get her to the Emergency Room."

Eldred was tapping Clarissa on her face and calling her name but she wasn't responding.  He kept tapping her until she came to.  "I can't feel my arm."  She said in a thin whisper, then her eyes rolled back in her head.

"Oh, God, she's having a stroke."  Before Eldred could get the words out, the staff had Clarissa on a gurney and were heading to the Emergency Room.  He was unglued seeing her lying there.  The other doctor wouldn't allow him in the room.  Eldred couldn't think straight.  He stayed in the Emergency waiting room for as long as he could.  He called Rena and Ian and told them to get to the hospital as soon as possible.

They arrived within the hour and met Eldred in the Emergency waiting room.  Rena ran up to Eldred.  "How is she?"

"They are stabilizing her.  It seems like she had a minor stroke.  She was at the right place for this to happen."

Ian slumped down in a chair.  He knew he was responsible for it and felt awful.  He was struggling as to whether he should tell them what happened. 

"They have her sedated and are trying to get her blood pressure under control.  It was through the roof."  Eldred was a nervous wreck.  "How was she when you all saw her today?"

"I helped her pack this morning for your trip.  She was in a really good mood."

Ian was quiet for a long time.  Then he finally spoke up.  "This is all my fault.  I upset her today and I'm so sorry."

Eldred and Rena turned and looked at Ian.  "I sold the restaurant."

There was a quiet before the storm and then Eldred lunged at Ian and wrestled him down to the floor.  Rena was screaming, "Stop!" while pulling Eldred off of Ian.  Security was headed their way and Rena intercepted them.  "This is a family matter, we'll be okay.  Please leave us!"  They backed away slowly but stayed close.

"You did what?"  Rena said grabbing Ian by the shirt.  Eldred was pacing the room like a caged tiger.

"Isn't that what you wanted so that you could go back to New York?  Didn't you say that if I couldn't run the restaurant then we had to sell it?"

"Ian, but that was before you changed.  Everybody knows you're fully capable of running the restaurant now.  You looked like you were so happy with your progress.  Why now?"

"Rena, the offer was $600,000.  Mom would have enough to keep her financially and she could get some rest, all our debts would be paid and now that you've made things right with Mom you could go back to New York."

When Eldred and Rena heard the offer they were flabbergasted.  Eldred spoke up.  "That was an excessively high offer for the restaurant.  Why would anyone do that?"

"$600,000.00" Rena whispered as she fell into a seat and pressed her head into her hands.  Everything seemed to crash down on her at once.  She really didn't want to sell the restaurant after all.  At that moment she realized that she really didn't want to go back to New York.  She wanted to be in Savannah with Blake.  Knowing that dream might never come to pass, perhaps now was the right time to return to New York.  Perhaps Ian was right.  Since things were right between Clarissa and her maybe it would be best for everyone if she left.  They could settle into their new lives without the restaurant.

Eldred turned to Ian.  "Ian, you made a tough choice.  This is going to kill Clarissa, but maybe it's for the best.  It's hard for me to even say this.  That restaurant is her life."

"No, Eldred," Rena said, "You're her life and you've got to make her see that.  You've got to make her see that there is a lot more for her to do in this life than being tied to the restaurant."

Another doctor came out to the Emergency waiting room.  "Dr. Clark, it wasn't a stroke.  She was close to one though.  Her excessive blood pressure caused her to have a seizure.  Her blood pressure is stable now but we want her to get some rest.  Because of her condition we're going to keep her a few days for observation.  I would suggest that you all come to see her tomorrow.  Right now she's heavily sedated and will remain that way for the night."  Ian and Rena agreed to visit her the next day. 

Eldred decided to stay with Clarissa for a while.  His mind was spinning trying to figure out how he was going to help her get through this situation.  He knew that in her condition she couldn't afford to have this kind of stress.  Clarissa was using all of her energy to stay well.  She didn't need this. 

He stood by the side of her bed.  Seeing her lying there peacefully asleep touched his heart.   He was so proud at how well she had fought through her health challenges.  He couldn't imagine how she was going to deal with this.  He stroked her face.  Don't scare me like that.  I need you.  Eldred kissed her softly.  He felt a wave of possessiveness overtake him.  He was compelled to love and protect this woman.  At that moment he realized that he couldn't imagine his life without Clarissa.