Far out! It's already March! Time flies, hey?

Not when you're dealing with this one all day. *points to Pippin who is sticking his head in a hole in a tree*

Why is he...

Don't ask.

Uhh ... okay ... well, how are you guys doing with your New Year's Resolutions?

Great! I promised myself that I wouldn't bury Pippin alive this year. So far, I haven't.

Mine are going awfully. I promised myself that I wouldn't eat that piece of cake ... while I was eating the cake.

Classic.

I doubt you're doing any better.

Actually, I am.

Is that so?

Mmhm. I promised myself that I would fangirl more than ever this year.

How's it going?

*unamused* Do you really have to ask that?

Good point.

Resolutions are weird.

I agree.

Mmhm. I wonder how the readers are doing with their resolutions.

*climbs on top of the Fourth Wall* HOW ARE YOU DOING, READERS?!

*rubbing his ears* Gee, Pip, there's no need to shout!

WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU! MY EARS ARE FILLED WITH HONEY!

Why are his ears--

You don't want to know.

Come down from the wall, Pip!

WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU! I'M GOING TO COME DOWN FROM THE WALL! *tries to come down but trips, pulling the whole wall down with him* GEE, SOMETHING ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME IN THIS BOOK!

Gah! Pippin! You broke the Fourth Wall again! *looks at the bricks everywhere* Honestly, now I have to fix it again...

Well, you wanted a Pippin, Tarwa. I told you they were hard work.

Um, if you don't mind me asking, is there actually a point to this chapter?

No, not really. I just felt like writing.

That's a first.

Hey! *slaps him*

I thought we were over the slapping thing!

NOPE! *slaps him again*

STAHP!

*throws Gollum at him*

MERRY! EW! *flicks Gollum away*

*throws Tom Bombadil at him*

Tom Bombadil: Hey, dol, merry do--

*throws him in a river*

Savage.

Eh. *shrugs*

*grabs keyboard from Tarwa* STOP WRITING THIS NONSENSE.

*grabs it back* AND WHY SHOULD I?

Can't we all just get along?

NO.

NEVER.

DEEEEEAAAAATTTTHHHHHHHH!

DEEEEEAAAAATTTTHHHHHHHH!

*weakly* Life...

Wait ... we were throwing things at Pippin. Why are we fighting?

I don't know. *glances at Pippin*

GET HIM! *charges at him*

*shrieks and covers his precious hair with his hands*

Tarwa ... why did you write "his precious hair"?

...

...

...it's precious...

o_o

Okaaaayyyyyy, I'm getting out of here! *runs away*

NO MERRY, DON'T LEAVE ME WITH HER!

You're on your own, Pip!

*cautiously looks at Tarwa*

I'm not weird... *eye twitch* ...I promise.

Yeaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no. *runs away*

COME BACK, HOBBIT! I WON'T EAT YOU, I SWEAR! *runs after him*

NOT TAKING ANY CHANCES! *jumps in the river*

Tom Bombadil: Hey d--

Shut up.

Hmph! Fine! If you won't come near me, I'll go to Kylo!

...who?

At least HE has cookies!

*a ships descends from the sky*

*hops in ship* LET'S GO TERMINATE SOME TRAITORS, MATT.

*ship flies off*

What the... O_O