"Y/n, this is the fifth time I've had to tell you to stop staring at me." Jungkook eyes you from his peripheral to where you stand beside him. You avert your gaze once more, cheeks flushing for the umpteenth time.

It's sufficient to say that Jungkook did all of the cooking. You, on the other hand, had been preoccupied with other things, one of which was glimpsing at him on multiple occasions when you were supposed to be doing something else.

Of course, you couldn't get anything done. How could you when this handsome doofus was always so close to you? Curse your kitchen for being so cramped. There's barely enough room for the two of you to move with all the appliances surrounding you. If you weren't a foot apart, you were brushing shoulders. The proximity between you two was a bare minimum. It was basically non-existent half the time.

Luckily, dinner's ready. All that's left is to set the table, which you willingly do to put some much needed distance between you and Jungkook.

You're so indecisive, wanting to be close so him but at the same time so far away. When you aren't with him, you can't think straight. Being near him isn't any better. Your mind is everywhere and nowhere all at once. The only constant thought is Jungkook.

God, what is wrong with you? Everything's that happened has you strung out on two different extremities. If you're not on one side, you're on the other. There's no in between.

"You need to get a hold of yourself." You jolt at the sudden intrusion and almost drop the glass bowls in your hands. Taehyung shakes his head at you. "I puked a little watching you fawn over Jungkook for the past hour. It's like you forgot I was here."

Truth is, you kind of did. It's not like he made his presence known throughout the entire time you and Jungkook prepared dinner. Taehyung didn't make a sound, which is odd for his character. He should've teased you a whole lot sooner, not right now.

You narrow your gaze at him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's just a lot to take in and process everything I'm now suddenly remembering. There's some things I sort of wish would've remained forgotten."

At his words, you discern memories with new found clarity. Because when it all comes back, it's not just the good, it's the bad too. Like Taehyung, you will also experience it, and what's even more terrifying is that you're not going to be ready for when it does.

Taehyung is hurting. Whether it was something he or someone else did, the goofy man you've gotten to know in the past 48 hours isn't anywhere to be seen in his glassed over eyes. You can't imagine how heart breaking the recollection must be. You too wish it had stayed forgotten as you place the bowls on the table and comfortingly reach for his hand.

"Anyway," he shifts the conversation, "Yoongi is probably almost here. I'll help you set the table." He gives a soft, appreciative smile and pulls away to head into the kitchen to grab the utensils. You watch him go and catch Jungkook coming out.

As much as you like him and enjoy being around him, you're now leaning more towards keeping away from him. Though you want to remember, you don't want to feel the same kind of pain that Taehyung is.

Minutes later, Yoongi is at your apartment. The second he steps foot inside, he silently observes you to make sure you're okay. He won't say it aloud, he never does, preferring his cold and intimidating aura to how caring he actually is. He's been taken advantage of too many times, but you know how he truly is.

"You made ramyeon?" Yoongi inhales deeply, a corner of his lips tug upward at the delicious smell, but it quickly slips off his round face the moment his eyes land on Jungkook.

"I thought you said he wasn't living here anymore."

"He doesn't. He's just visiting. And," you pause briefly, "he's the one who made dinner."

"I'm not sure I trust anything the giant makes." Your brother's features harden.

"If it makes you feel better, Lil Meow Meow, I'll take the first bite to make sure it's safe enough for you to eat. Wouldn't want you to starve and let your good looks to go to waste." Taehyung reappears from the kitchen with chopsticks, spoons, and a ladle. He winks in Yoongi's direction.

A blush creeps up your brother's neck at the comment, but all you do is roll your eyes. You pull a seat out at the table and sit down. "You just want to be the first to eat."

Taehyung eases back into his usual lighthearted behavior, only it feels a little strained. "Well, yes, but I wasn't about to miss the opportunity to flirt with your brother." He takes the chair beside you.

You glimpse up at Yoongi to see the deep pink color spread to his cheeks. It's all too obvious the kind of affect your boss has on him. You wonder if Taehyung knows just what he's signing up for, because even if what he says makes Yoongi flustered, he won't let him continue to make him feel like that.

Taehyung isn't prepared for what comes next, but it'll be a little while before Yoongi gets comfortable enough to cuss him out.

"Okay, let's eat." You motion for Jungkook and Yoongi to take a seat only to have both of them grab onto the chair next to you.

Yoongi's tight grip on it has his knuckles turn white. He opens his mouth to say something, but Taehyung speaks up first, "Nope, you're sitting next to me, Lil Meow Meow."

Though it seems like your brother is ready to rip Jungkook a new one, he complies to Taehyung's demand and takes the seat across from you. What you don't fail to notice is that the glare your brother is giving Kook holds too much contempt for someone he's only met once. There's something terrifyingly fiery in his eyes, a look you've only seen him give to someone who has hurt you.

You don't think anymore of it. Not because you don't want to but because Jungkook brings you out of your investigative thoughts when he says that he's invited Namjoon over to eat with everyone as well.

Though there's too many people in your apartment as it is, you allow it. It's Namjoon. You want to talk to him anyway about everything that's happened.

Jungkook excuses himself to go get your neighbor while the rest of you sit at the table and wait. While you do, Yoongi sighs with a shake of his head.

"I don't like that guy, Y/n."

What your brother says doesn't take you by surprise, but you certainly didn't expect him to be so upfront about his dislike for Jungkook in front of Taehyung, who happens to be the giant's childhood friend.

Another thing you don't anticipate is Taehyung's sullen expression at Yoongi's admittance. It's as if he knows why your brother is so upset.

But you don't know, and you're tired of not knowing. So tired, that it's awfully frustrating to see everyone remotely close to you know things you don't and not being able to get a proper explanation on anything.

It's utter bullshit. Why does it get to be easy for everyone else to remember but not you?

Angered by this, you raise your voice at Yoongi. "Why? Why don't you like him? What is it that you all are not telling me? For fuck's sake, can't I at least get this one thing?"

Taehyung's jaw drops at your outburst while Yoongi bites down hard on his bottom lip. It seems like he wants to tell you, but it's taking everything within him to not just blurt it all out.

When he opens his mouth in what you hope will be an answer to at least one of your questions, the words don't escape him. He doesn't get the chance to say anything, because Jungkook has returned with Namjoon in tow.

You glance at Yoongi, at Taehyung, at Namjoon and then Jungkook.

An image flashes in your mind. It's of the four of them in front of you, exactly like how they are now, but they look slightly different.

Jungkook is more youthful with fewer tattoos. Namjoon is lankier, his hair buzzed on both sides and longer in the middle. Taehyung isn't wearing a fancy suit and doesn't have a perm. And your brother, he looks happier, more carefree.

What is this? You blink and push your chair away from the table, away from them.

All at once, it comes rushing back. Not the memories.

The headache, the blue, it starts like how it did before in the park and at Vante's, but it doesn't stop there.

Your skull feels like it's splitting open, your body depends on your chair for support, and that blue isn't blue anymore. It's a white so blinding, so opaque, that the four men disappear from view completely.

It ends with you alone.

a/n: i'm sorry for updating so late! life can be such a bitch sometimes, but this story is finally getting to the parts that i'm most excited for! the plot will slow down for a bit now for character development. but what do we think about the story so far? who's your favorite character? and do you have theories?