,

MAY 15

Despite being fully capable of driving himself, Felix asked for Changbin to pick him up this morning. That had to be a good sign.

Another good sign: Felix had texted him quite promptly after returning home. He hadn't waited, hadn't allowed the idea of it to be washed away in his mind by more pressing matters, just a dinky sailboat drifting on a river of tentative plans that most likely would never actually come about. It wasn't one of those 'agree to it enthusiastically in the moment then never think of it again' situations. Felix cared; he wanted to do it. He steered the sailboat into the harbor that very evening, texting Changbin to ask: 'are you free tomorrow?'

...Perhaps he just really wanted cupcakes. But, admittedly, it was nice to believe it was significant; that Felix was genuinely excited to spend time with Changbin.

Changbin tried to get himself into a slightly more realistic state of mind when he pulled off in front of Felix's house, huffing a short, preparatory breath in time with the click that came from shifting the car into park.

Slipping his phone out of his pocket, he checked for notifications on the home screen, then double-checked the time. It's not like they'd set a very particular time to meet; all Felix had asked was that Changbin show up sometime after noon. And, here he was, just past fifteen-after.

...

CHANGBIN

Hey, I'm here :)

FELIX

AHH

FELIX

is it that time already??

FELIX

hehe, uh... plz standby <3 technical difficults

CHANGBIN

No worries, take your time Lix

...

Nonchalant as his words seemed, behind that screen, Changbin was grinning ear to ear. He would've expected to be just the tiniest bit disappointed that Felix wasn't as anxious and eager to go as he was- that he wasn't up and ready, just waiting for a text- but somehow, he was just so endeared by it. It just seemed so Felix. He probably hadn't even gotten out of bed yet, and was probably now rushing around, toothbrush in mouth, hair mussed and sticking up, rifling through his closet.

Regardless, it was hardly ten minutes before he saw a blond head- a perfectly blond head- poking out of the front door. Felix kicked the door shut behind him, slinging a bag over his shoulder, running wildly to Changbin's car, bursting in with a tight-lipped grin as he nearly jumped into the passenger seat and stared at Changbin.

Changbin looked at him too, with a similar smile rising on his cheeks, all quiet in the car until Felix broke out in that lovely, airy laugh of his- that little, lighthearted heheh-hahah.

Changbin shook his head a little then, breaking the eye contact, propping his hands on the wheel, letting his composure break a bit with the slightest, understated, one-breath chuckle. While Felix caught his breath, he slipped in a cordial, "Hi." He brought his eyes up again to rest on Felix- Felix and his brighter-than-sun smile, freshly-bleached, near-white hair, and adorable pink overalls with cream-colored t-shirt.

Changbin could slam his forehead into the steering wheel right now.

He really looked like an angel.

"Hi," the angel returned his greeting just the same, except with a higher, happier energy. With the glow of sunlight ensconced around his golden head.

There was quiet, a pause for a moment, before Changbin worked up the nerve (or perhaps, stopped dumbly staring long enough) to say, "You bleached your hair again?" The red dye had been on its very last legs for weeks, having long since faded from pink to a slight orange hue overshadowed by his darkened roots.

Come to think of it, aside from the red, Changbin hadn't seen him with anything but blond hair since he transferred to his high school in his sophomore year. (As good as the red had looked, Changbin had almost forgotten how well blond suited him.)

Still, Felix cutely framed his face and asked, "You like?"

They'd only been home for like... a day. Excuse Changbin's mind for making presumptions, but he wondered, did Felix perhaps rush to get it done so he'd look extra cute for today? ...Because if he did, it worked.

"Yeah." He didn't look at Felix while he said it, though, instead, he busied himself by handing over an aux cord.

It seemed to make Felix happy, as he made some cute little noises while wiggling in his seat and plugging in his phone to queue some music. With the cupcake shop being so close, they'd only have time for a song or two, but Changbin felt a bit too flustered after complimenting Felix (even if it was the tiniest, spoon-fed compliment) to attempt a decent conversation. Plus, he wanted to see what kind of music Felix listened to. Besides Twice. Assuming he queued anything other than Twice.

After spending almost half of the ride lamenting the endless options and very limited time, Felix settled on something soft and happy, something Changbin wouldn't really have listened to on his own, because the lyrics were a little too cute and sappy; because the soft ukulele wasn't typically his thing. If cherry blossoms and spring breezes and baby pink and soft cheek kisses were a song, this was it.

"Sweet as nectar, honeysuckle, you make everything so fun-"

They were only a little over halfway through the song when Changbin parked. He didn't shut off the car. Instead, he turned his head to Felix and smiled, watching him sway slowly, happily, in his seat, humming along with his deep voice in perfect harmony with the soft tones and colors of the music.

When it went quiet again, as Felix had paused the next song, he asked, "Did you like it?"

Changbin gave a short hum. "...Yeah. Send it to me."

Felix flashed a grin and brought his fingers to his forehead in a salute, fiddling with his phone for another moment, before he joined Changbin in getting out of the car. Changbin felt the buzz in his back pocket. They stepped onto the sidewalk, side by side, and Changbin took a deep breath.

Okay. It's going good so far. I think I should make a move.

Before Felix got the chance to slip his hands into his dusty pink overalls, as smoothly as possible, Changbin reached for his hand, took it gently in his, without so much as turning his head. Felix seemed to have no reaction other than widening his smile and lacing their fingers.

Whew.

It was a small victory, even smaller when Changbin considered it would only last a few seconds, because hardly twenty paces later they were already at the door.

Before Changbin could let go to grab the door, Felix stopped in his tracks in front of the white stone archway (and its surrounding large stone planters brimming with fittingly sugary-looking baby pink flowers, and its red door), holding tight, tugging Changbin back a little.

"Wait, wait, picture!" Felix beamed, glancing back and forth between Changbin and the big pink sign overhead.

Even Changbin hadn't thought of taking a picture with him. Of the two of them. Alone.

Felix was the type to take selfies with everyone, but... still. Yeah, maybe it made Changbin feel special, giddy even, just a little bit. Thank goodness he didn't show a blush easily. But he did feel his cheeks warm a little, and then warm a little more as he squeezed in next to Felix to fit into the frame as Felix raised his phone above their heads, painting a quick natural-looking, cute smile across his cheeks, tilting his head in toward Changbin's- effortlessly posing. (He of course, didn't have to do much to his face, as he already looked smiley and happy before opening his camera, and of course, he looked pretty already, like that.)

Changbin ended up looking at him instead of the camera, flustered all over again for the moment. He wasn't used to taking selfies like Felix was; really the only time he took them was when he took pictures to track his progress in the gym- meaning he felt awkward in front of the camera and worried that he'd look stupid in the picture, and then every time Felix would look at the picture, he'd see Changbin and go: 'yikes'.

But then Felix took a second, lowering his phone, to check the burst of pictures he'd snapped, and at first he giggled because the camera caught the way Changbin had just stared at him, then the way he turned and smiled, forced-

Wow, it looked.... ugh.

That's what Changbin thought, anyway. Felix, however-

"Aw, hyung, you look so cute!"

That... wasn't something Changbin was used to hearing. At all.

He was sure it must have been a word Felix heard (directed at him) all the time, and therefore threw around in his own speech all the time. But it still meant... kinda a lot? Even if someone had been kind enough to call Changbin good-looking (typically old, habitually-cheek-pinching grandmothers who, at the time, were thoroughly impressed by his lack of cheeks to pinch and his sharp, rigidly angled jawline), they would call him handsome or something... never cute.

His only response, perhaps a second or two delayed, was a flustered 'heh'. With that, Felix tucked his phone away, and taking the cheesy opportunity, since Felix's hands were busy, Changbin held the door open for him.

Felix looked like a kid in a candy store after he'd flashed yet another smile and walked inside with a sing-song 'Thanks!'- though, that wasn't an entirely unusual thing for Felix. Changbin found it so endearing how he always seemed to get absolutely enthralled by anything and everything, the way he was so happy and excited about this or that.

Somehow, despite it being early summer, stepping into this place made Changbin feel like winter had come. Not that it was overly cold (the air conditioning only took the temperature down a few degrees from what it was outside), rather that the soft yellow-colored lights and light-colored everything (from pale stained hardwood floors to snowy white counters and couches) seemed to wrap the entire interior in an air of coziness that made Changbin feel underdressed in his t-shirt and black jeans.

...Or perhaps that was just what it was like to be with Felix. Coziness. Lightheartedness. Warmth.

It was a small shop (just like most of its neighbors, being in the city), and there were only a few regular two-seat tables, plus a long booth against the back wall, in which were shelves housing a few stacks of clearly-many-times-used board games.

And then they ambled to the counter, and Felix's eyes glazed over with a dozen or two options spread over a board. More varieties of cupcakes than Changbin had probably ever seen in one place- maybe at all. Hadn't it always been just vanilla, chocolate... red velvet? Oh, and blueberry streusel? ...No, that was a muffin. What was the difference? Felix would probably know- he baked. Ah, that'd be a great icebreaker. Changbin tucked that into his mental back pocket to ask later in hopes of fighting off any incoming potential awkward silences.

After each choosing their cupcakes and picking out drinks to go with them, of course, the two of them had their shot at the little game of: 'Aw, you don't have to pay for it/ I'm the one that asked you out' . And that had to be yet another sign of the first date. Stereotypical. Reassuring. Changbin smiled as he took the buzzer from the cashier.

Felix was overjoyed by the fact that there was a Jenga set, right there for them to play with as they waited for their cupcakes and drinks. Despite it being only the two of them, they squeezed into the booth (which was really more of a couch, especially considering that its table was round and hardly spanned a fourth of its length, and that there was no other booth on the opposing side- yeah, it was a couch). Maybe they were both just used to seeking out the option with the most seating, as if they had eight seats to fill, not two. Close, side-by-side, they sorted out the blocks from the pile Felix created, by dumping the box (as non-disruptively as possible), into a tower.

Five or so minutes later, Changbin was this close to pulling off a nearly impossible feat of block-pulling, wiggling out a stubbornly lodged piece and leaving a precariously twisted frame in its wake when the table was rumbled due to the extremely inconvenient timing of the cheery-voiced cupcake providers behind the counter- the merciless vibrations of the buzzer that they'd set on the table. The tower toppled almost immediately. It landed in an incredulous Changbin's lap while Felix covered his face and muffled a noise made from a combination of giggling and being genuinely disappointed for Changbin.

While Changbin was still blinking slowly at the sudden absence of a tower, lips pressing together, Felix took his hands away from his mouth and instead wrapped them around Changbin's shoulders- making it all worth it in the end, honestly- and insisted sweetly, apologetically, "We gotta have a rematch."

They sat down again a moment later, after clearing the table and picking the blocks off the floor, then retrieving their order. Changbin got dark chocolate. A dark, almost foreboding little lump in front of him. Felix got strawberry lemonade, and all Changbin could think while listening to him order, and now as well, while looking at his cute little sprinkled cupcake, was: how very Felix of him.

After a few bites and happy cupcake wiggles, Felix turned to him. "Do you have any plans for the summer?"

"Hm... Not sure yet." Hopefully going on more dates with you? "But I know I'm gonna work out a lot."

Felix nodded approvingly. "Can I come to the gym with you sometime?" he asked.

The question immediately struck him with a sharp pang of worry. Before now he had never really considered that someone as beautiful and as incredibly positive as Felix could be unhappy with his body- could somehow think it wasn't good enough, could want to change it. The first thought in his mind was: No, please, not you, too...

But Felix soon quelled his quick-blooming fears, made him realize he'd jumped to quite the conclusion, saying, "I'd love to watch you work out." And that had Changbin's ears going pinkety pink. (So much for not showing a blush easily.) "It's... inspiring!" Felix gushed, eyebrows pinched together with enthusiasm and eyes filled with stars, head nodding slightly. He was just too damn cute.

The way Felix was so enthused by the most random of things was once again, endearing. Just about everything about Felix was endearing to Changbin, and Changbin really wasn't the type to be endeared willy-nilly. Something about Felix was just so precious and pure.

Changbin glanced away for a moment to chuckle fondly. When he looked back, it was to ask, "You have plans?"

"I guess I'm not sure yet either. I just want to hang out with everyone. Go swimming a lot. Yeah," he concluded, a pink smudge of frosting decorating his smile before he wiped it away with his thumb.

All of a sudden, Felix pushed the remaining half of his cupcake toward Changbin. "Wanna try it?"

Turned out, Felix tasted almost like pure sugar.

...Ah- wait, whoopsies, that was meant to be 'Felix's cupcake'. Felix's cupcake tasted almost like pure sugar. Changbin was unused to such sweet tastes.

If at first the pretty pink taste of strawberry lemonade was a little off-putting, a little sickening on his tongue, a little too-good-to-be-true, Changbin still found himself wanting more. Felix smiled, watching Changbin's somewhat delayed, surprised reaction. "Good, right?"

Changbin nodded, and offered his for trying as well.

After Felix, clearly enjoying the blissful look that must have been on Changbin's face, told him to have a second bite, Changbin found that the taste was his favorite- better than his own, toned-down, near-bitter cupcake. Good thing for him, Felix was more than willing to share.

They sat quietly for the remainder of their time together in the booth and finished their cupcakes with a renewed energy. For Changbin, at least, that was because he just now realized, maybe he wasn't so good with holding conversations? He'd never put much thought into it, but now that he did- now that he was on a date (a first date), now that he was trying to make a good impression- he really had nothing interesting to say, did he?

We can't just sit here and have a silent date, can we?? He wouldn't like that... I don't think. When I see him with Jisung or anyone else he's always talking and energetic.

Felix was so entertaining, effortlessly, it seemed. And yet here was Changbin, racking his brain for some new, interesting topic to bring up- ah, right there was the muffin question from earlier- but, on second thought, it'd be pretty lame, after sitting here silently for at least five minutes to just... spring a totally random question like that on him? Wouldn't it be awkward to break the silence by now? And, come to think of it, wasn't that actually a pretty boring question?

I'd better end this before he gets any more bored and decides not to go out with me again.

With that thought cropping up and lingering in his mind, a dull static-y hum, Changbin ate the last bite of his cupcake and realized that Felix had already finished his while Changbin was preoccupied trying to think of something to talk about. Felix was probably just waiting to get going at this point.

Collecting the cupcake wrappers and emptied cups, Changbin stood, and asked, "Ready?"

So Felix walked behind him as they headed out again, this time darting ahead to get the door for Changbin. And that caused a little smile to settle on Changbin's lips again, disrupting the serious expression that had rolled in like grey clouds while they were sitting in silence moments ago.

"Thanks for taking me out!" Felix grinned, almost skipping along beside Changbin as they headed for the car.

"Yeah... Thanks for coming." As they both opened their doors, and climbed into their seats, Changbin, glancing away, added, "And... sorry if I was too quiet."

"No worries! I liked it! It was nice to just be quiet together- wait, does that sound mean?" Felix laughed, lighthearted, hand coming down on Changbin's arm. "I really like talking to you and listening to you, and, I know I'm loud most of the time but I really felt like- hm... Like I was at home. In your silence. Our silence." He paused a moment, then had to laugh at himself again. "Wow, that was like... deep."

In our silence.

Changbin thought of those few moments where he had Felix, so completely quiet and serene, in his arms. Of the fiery red of his hair arranged over Changbin's arm, the beat of his heart close to Changbin's chest, the steadiness of his calm, easy breathing. He'd liked it quite a lot back then, seeing Felix at peace as he dozed.

Did he dare to let himself look forward to more silences together? More of their silences?

Suddenly, Felix broke out with a gasp- breaking the silence that had, ironically, begun to creep in. "We forgot the rematch!" Felix pouted.

Changbin grinned. "Next time."

Felix nodded. "Next time."

Warmth flooded Changbin's chest. Baby pink on his cheeks. Sugar on his tongue.

Yeah, despite moments of insecurity, Changbin would say this date ended up going pretty well. So, maybe if they just did a few more, they'd be... boyfriends?

,

"technical difficults" was a typo on my part but i made myself laugh and i figured it fit so i left it teehee

if you're wondering, the song i used (very briefly) is on the playlist, it's sweet boi by chevy

...also WHY IS IT 2024 ?? ? ? ? ? ?? ahahah class of 2024 say 'AAAAAAA WAIT IM NOT READY'