got a surprise for y'all :>

JULY 9

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   Mostly calmed down, Jisung apologized for going a bit mental and wiped his eyes; blew his nose into the tissue Chan handed him; leaned into Felix's arm around his waist. Voice raw and shaky, he continued his explanation for Chan: "If you asked me, I would have told you. But we've all been busy in our own ways and there was never a good time to tell anyone, 'Hey, my mom's got this potentially life-threatening disease!'" He sniffled. "'nd it's not that I really felt like I needed to talk about it, 's just been stressing me out a lot."

    "Seemed like you needed to get that out, though," Chan pointed out.

    "...Yeah, I guess I did. I didn't want to tell you about it because I had a feeling you'd worry about it, but that is one of the reasons I haven't been around. Minho's not the only one." Jisung  paused, chewing on a wobbly lip. "And maybe yeah, I'm too fucking stressed to think straight when it comes to him. Like I said yesterday, I just want things to stay normal right now, but every time I see him, I... I don't— I don't know what to do. "

    No one had a response for that. Felix and Changbin seemed to be piecing things together.

    All Chan could say was, "...What does your mom have?"

    Jisung opened his mouth to respond, but he was interrupted by the ringing of the phone in his pocket. "Hang on." He cleared his throat and gave his nose another wipe as he fished it out. When he saw the contact name on the screen, he furrowed his eyebrows. Before hitting the 'accept' button and bringing the phone to his ear, he let a confused hum escape his mouth.

    "Hello?"

    Those standing by, watching Jisung take this call, witnessed the color drain from his red face bit by bit. Felix began to support increasingly more of his weight; Jisung's breathing became heavy and rapid.

    "Yes. Yes. I—" Jisung sniffled, a sharp breathing interrupting his speech. "I'll be there in a few hours."

   As Jisung's body grew increasingly shaky, Felix guided him to actually take the seat he'd had his back to this whole time. Felix ran around to the other side of the car afterwards to get in; Chan followed suit, getting into the passenger seat, and Changbin got the message, starting the car and pulling out immediately after.

   A few moments passed before Jisung thanked the caller and hung up. A few more passed before he breathed a shaky exhale and squeezed the words out of his throat on behalf of the three in the car who were anxiously waiting for an explanation.

   Everything felt slow. The way Felix reached out and grabbed his hand. The way his mouth moved as he tried to speak. The way the car rolled along the flat beach roads. Why wasn't it going faster?

   "Mom collapsed," he said, swallowing hard to lessen the overwhelming tightness in his throat. "She's in the ER. Having surgery."

   Even Changbin's response (which was, in reality, almost impressively immediate) seemed as if it spanned ages to Jisung. "Do you want to go straight to the hospital? Our house is on the way there, so if you want to stop, that's an option."

   Jisung thought it over. Slowly. His brain wasn't working.

   He took long enough to answer that Chan began to ask, "Do you want me to come with you?"

     "Yes, please stop," he answered Changbin. "But..." he turned to Chan. This answer somehow came quickly; he'd jumped from 0.5 speed to 2x. "I want to ask Minho to come with me."

   "Ah... yeah, okay."

,

   Felix's mind was blown; his head throbbing. Hyunjin and Changbin both liked him. Like liked him.

   All throughout last night, he was thinking back through the past several months in his head— finally it all made sense. But now... he had to figure out... which one did he like? Hyunjin? Changbin? ...Both?

   But all he knew right now was that he'd felt so awkward with Changbin in the car as they drove home. Even as he comforted Jisung throughout the long, long ride, with their hands intertwined the whole way through, Felix couldn't stop thinking about it. 

   Come to think of it, yeah, he'd always been more comfortable with Hyunjin. ...not that changbin made him uncomfortable; they had just never been quite as close as Hyunjin and he were.  That probably meant something.

   They arrived a fair bit later than the others due to their delayed departure on Jisung's behalf. With Jisung instantly rushing off to find Minho, Felix decided to check on Hyunjin. Found him in his room. At first, he'd thought Hyunjin was unpacking, but then he realized that fresh clothes were currently going into his emptied-out backpack.

    "Jinnie?" Felix called, timidly, slipping into the room. He heard the front door slam just slightly; Jisung, and perhaps Minho, must've just rushed out.

   Hyunjin jumped a little, his hands stalling. But a smile grew, stretching across his cheeks, at the sight of Felix.

   "Angel... hey."

   For the first time, Felix deeply considered how he felt about this pet name. It had just kind of naturally come into use, hadn't it?  He really didn't know how it made him feel at the moment. Maybe that was just the stress of current events confusing him.

   "Are you... going somewhere?"

   Hyunjin's smile fell. "Well, yeah. Apparently someone here has some major issues, and won't even let me breathe. And what are you gonna do? Stay here with... him?"

   Felix didn't answer. "...You're going back to your parents' house?"

   "That's the plan, yeah— for a bit, at least. Should be okay since it's Sunday." Hyunjin sighed.

   Felix's insides ached with the bite of sudden guilt. Was this his fault? For not catching on? For not making a choice?

   It was his ignorance; his obliviousness that had caused the fight last night, wasn't it? And now Hyunjin was willingly going back to a terrible place to escape the tension— that's how bad it was. Would he even come back?

    "Can I—" It spilled out of Felix's mouth. "Can I come with you?"

      The wide smile returned.

   Not even twenty minutes later, Hyunjin was opening the front door slowly and carefully, hand gently around Felix's wrist while the other boy lagged behind him. Felix did not have to be told to be silent as they tip-toed inside; he followed Hyunjin without a peep.

   "Looks like it's empty in here for once. Phew," Hyunjin chuckled, easing up. "Would've sucked if my parents were in here, drinking."

    The sudden creaking door hinge sound that came from within the house made them both jump. But then Hyunjin started to laugh. "That got me. It's just the air conditioning turning on... Kinda forgot what that was like."

   "Mm..." Felix hummed, relaxing a little in the clear space of the kitchen.

   He reached out for Hyunjin's hand. How was he going to do this? As Hyunjin took it, his eyes caught Felix's, lingering there. Felix came to stand toe to toe with Hyunjin. It was quiet. Not pulling away, they looked into each other's souls, or at least, they attempted. It felt like something should happen.

   Summer's full of impulsive decisions. Maybe it's the heat. The nasty, sweltering, frustrating heat that leads everyone to desperately search for a way to let off some steam.

    And, as it happened, Felix wasn't an exception. 

   Maybe the heat had something to do with it, but really, Felix just so badly wanted to feel this thing that everyone called romance. Butterflies. Sparks. Whatever. Perhaps he had been feeling it all along and just never noticed. 

   Now Hyunjin, he had to be one of Felix's favorite people. He could see that Hyunjin had such loveliness buried within his soul: artistic grace that permeated his being and molded his very worldview. So he loved being around him. So maybe he was in love with Hyunjin. And what do people do when they're in love? 

   ...They kiss, right?

     Hyunjin was already looking at his lips like they were something to devour, anyway. Frustrated, confused, desperately wanting answers, Felix simply said: "Jinnie... just kiss me."

   With no complaints, Hyunjin did what Felix asked.

   The hands around Felix's waist and hip were warm and they felt good. Felix felt loved, or perhaps adored, when Hyunjin looked into his eyes like that: tenderly, consumed with desire. He continued to feel adored when Hyunjin's lips pressed against his, and though he'd never ever touched lips with someone before, it felt... strikingly un-striking.

   It felt nice. It really did. Hyunjin's lips were soft and sweet and kissing them gave Felix the same pleasant, satisfying sensation that... don't laugh, but... biting into a piece of mochi did.

   But somehow he felt... like that's not how it should've been. There should've been more.

   Honestly he felt more or less the same while Hyunjin kissed him as he had when Jisung hugged him yesterday. Except that now, he felt insecure. Shouldn't he have felt some 'spark' inside of him? Where were the 'butterflies' in his stomach? (Whatever that really meant.)

   ...Shouldn't he have wanted to throw his arms around Hyunjin's neck and slip his tongue inside his mouth, hungry for more?

   Well, that's not how he felt.

   The frustratingly persistent confusion made it difficult to reciprocate the grin Hyunjin wore as he pulled back, which was so incredibly full of ecstasy... to the point where, at first, Felix was almost glad for the interruption.

   "Oh my gosh, that's disgusting." Felix looked to his side, where a woman who, with her half-eroded beauty, vaguely resembled Hyunjin, pointed a phone at them. His blood ran cold.

   "I fucking knew he was gay," she slurred, holding the phone closer to her mouth to speak into it. "Your son just kissed a boy in my kitchen. I told you. I knew it."

   "Lix, you should go." But somehow, strangely, Hyunjin was still smiling, like he didn't hear a thing. Giddily. Even as he pushed Felix toward the door, with angry sounding footsteps echoing as they came closer. "I'll see you later, angel." He whispered.

   Felix didn't think he should go, but he sure as heck didn't want to stay.

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yeah, wow, it really took 44 chapters to get a pov from everyone haha

hope you enjoyed the debut of felix pov!!

btw yeah,, the title is from that hozier song that im OBSESSED with