JULY 6

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Miraculously, Minho's record-high fever broke that same night, sometime after Jisung had helped him out to the living room to watch a movie, since that was the only thing he had energy for. Well— clearly, he didn't even have energy for that, because he fell asleep against Jisung's shoulder not long after Chan brought him a plate of rice and some medicine and asked Jisung to get it into him one way or another. It must have been the heat of his fever that caused the beads of sweat to rise on Jisung's skin as the full weight of Minho's head dropped onto him when he gave up the fight to stay conscious.

   "You alright there, Ji?" Chan had whispered. "You look a little flushed. You didn't catch it from him already, did you?"

   "Nah... I'm good. He's just a little hot," Jisung assured him, a hint of nervousness evident in his twitchy smile. Well, that much was true. The heat of Minho's skin on his was just about unberable.

   Anyway... from there, Minho was more or less back to himself within two days of napping and going on a tea-and-soup diet (thanks to Chan somehow getting a hold of his manager and calling him in sick), so at some point, Jisung quietly slipped away and left the rest of it to him to take care of himself. And that left Minho with one day to finish guzzling cough medicine to kick the remnants of his sickness before their scheduled beach trip— one day to be awkward around Jisung.

   They seemed to be in a mutual state of half-assed avoidance all day. Jisung knew Minho was humiliated now that he was lucid— no longer suffering the effects of a fever that left him unable to hide anything he was feeling, especially not the emotions he'd had pent-up for the past month. Jisung's first impulse, seeing him in that overly-ashamed, remorseful state he knew so well by now, was to reassure him that there was nothing to be embarrassed about, but would it even be convincing if he had to do it from across the room? He tried to not even look at Minho— because it was fucking awkward when their eyes met— but it was hard when his eyes were drawn to him, immediately fixed on his figure every time he came into view. 

    So the day passed in an uneasy blur— Jisung tried to focus on appreciating the time he suddenly had to veg out, as well as appreciating his proximity to his friends for the first time in what was really only one month, but had felt like dozens.

   It was now that he saw that for the first time, he felt out of touch with his friends. A bit awkward and estranged, all because he'd been gone so long and hadn't kept up with them, which put him out of the loop. It was almost like being back in high school, sitting alone most times, not knowing how to start a conversation— that feeling of being out of place. Because in what had been 'his place', there was now a brick wall which kept Minho safely away from him. It'd be easy, so easy to knock it down, but if he did, everything would be a mess.

  He lounged until evening, sometimes chatting a little with Chan, and other times watching whatever show Hyunjin had on in the living room, but at all times, trying to keep his mind, his eyes, and above all, his hands off of Minho. Hoping to find someone else to keep him company.

   Changbin, last Jisung knew, was busy packing up his trunk with whatever beach supplies the eight of them had managed to amass, and he'd said he was "all good" when Jisung offered to help earlier. (Jisung had a feeling he had a plan for exactly how he was going to fit everything in there perfectly.) Chan was with Minho, working on getting food together for lunch on the beach (but Chan was doing most of the work, as Minho was still a little sniffly and slow-moving). Hyunjin was taking one of his long-ass showers.

   Jisung, too, was preoccupied doing his own thing (and by that I mean being a quiet, pensive lump on the couch), until Felix appeared from somewhere within the house— who knows when he'd gotten here and what he'd been up to until now— and said: "Hey. You." Felix paused. "You know what we need? Roomie time."

   A bit of a smile broke on Jisung's face, perhaps a bit stiff due to the fact that he'd been zoned out, blank-faced for so long now. "Yeah?" Jisung chimed. Honestly, that sounded perfect. Worried as he might be about what he might let slip, since he had a way of being totally relaxed around his roommate, Jisung couldn't imagine saying no. He'd majorly missed this guy.

   Felix nodded promptly. "Yeah. Besides, I need someone to keep me company while I paint my nails. Come on, let's go take over someone's room." Grinning, he took hold of Jisung's arm, slipping his under it and linking them before dragging him off to the stairs.

   Jisung more-than-willingly allowed Felix to pull him along to Chan's room, and he shut the door gently behind them (just in case, perhaps, any sensitive topics were to come up after all) once Felix released him.  "Ah, you and me, alone in a closed room. Feels just like the old days," Jisung joked.

   But Felix didn't laugh as Jisung had expected. Instead he frowned, commenting, "Yeah, I feel like I've hardly seen you recently, Sungie."

    "I know. Sorry," Jisung sighed, immediately giving up on trying to keep up a bright mood. Maybe he was just hoping that if he faked it for a second, Felix would reciprocate with his genuine, happy brightness and then Jisung would perk right up. It was hard to feel down with Felix around.

   Felix sat on the edge of Chan's bed, tilting his head, frown only deepening. "You seem really tired. Maybe kinda sad."

   "Tired, definitely, but probably more stressed than sad, I guess," Jisung replied. "Lots of bills to pay." Electric. Water. Hospital. You name it. "And... also, I've been going on some dates recently," he chuckled, hoping that would brighten the mood a little. It didn't feel right to see Felix frown like this.

   "Dates?" Felix exclaimed, mouth falling open.

   "I don't think they were really my type, though."

   "Oh." Excitement killed, Felix's shoulders drooped; he turned his attention to the jar of nail polish he pulled out of his pocket, slipping down from the edge of Chan's bed to sit on the floor as he unscrewed the top. "Well... what is your type?"

    A sweet, quiet voice— weakened but growing stronger— and a crooked, rarely-bared grin came to mind instantly. Jisung pushed those thoughts down.

   "I'd say... Someone who inspires me to try new things and pushes me to chase my passions and desires. Someone who makes me feel comfortable just being who I am... and is always there for me. And makes me laugh a lot."

    In defiance to those previous intrusive thoughts, he assured himself: See, that's not really Minho anyway. Not right now, at least...

   Sitting down beside Felix, watching as he brought his nails up close to his face and steadied his arm on his knee, Jisung asked, "What about you?"

   "Me? Hm... I dunno. I guess I never really thought about it... Yours was deep," he laughed. It took him several seconds of thoughtful humming as he glanced back and forth between Jisung and the coats of yellow polish he was painting onto his nails to come up with: "Um... I guess I like people that are confident and funny... and pretty open, I guess? I like it when you both can just say what you're thinking and it's cool." 

   Jisung gave a concurrent hum. "Want me to get your left hand?" he offered, just as Felix finished his right and began fanning it to make it dry faster.

   "Yeah, please." Felix smiled, letting Jisung take his hand; giving him the brush. Then, he added, "Oh, and I think it's really nice when you can tell someone is reliable. Like, it's comforting to be around them— 'cause they're really strong, and responsible, too. I like those kind of people."  

   Looking up, pausing for a moment, Jisung nodded. "Sounds about right."

   "Hm?" Felix tilted his head inquisitively.

   "I was just saying it makes sense..." He paused again, focusing on steadying his hand and holding his breath while he fixed up the edges of Felix's nail. "'cause that pretty much sounds like Changbin hyung."

    Felix's eyes widened slightly. "Does it?" He thought it over for a moment, then answered his own question, voice trailing off as he said, "I guess it does." Gears appeared to be turning in his head.

   "Is that surprising?" Jisung continued on, applying the polish to Felix's last finger as he commented,  "...I thought it was kinda-sorta common knowledge that you guys liked each other? Kind of thought you guys were basically dating?"

   "Huh? Really?"

   Jisung slow blinked. "I'm pretty sure he likes you, at least. Don't you like him?"

  Felix stopped blowing on his nails to ask, "Like... a crush?"

   Jisung nodded.

    "Um... geez, I don't know. I haven't thought about it." He glanced down, looking over his half-dried buttercup-yellow nails, quiet for a moment, then: "You really think he likes me? Like that?"

   Jisung shrugged. "Just pay attention next time you're with him. I thought it was pretty obvious, but I think it's harder to tell when you're on the receiving end." Chuckling lowly, he added, "Not that I would know."

   It got quiet. Felix looked Jisung in the eye, pursed his lips for a second, head tilting slightly as he observed him closely. The remnants of Jisung's smile gradually fell away under his gaze. Maybe... maybe he was sad. 

   As if he sensed that very thought, Felix opened his arms.

   Jisung heaved a sigh and let himself slump over Felix's extended legs, reveling at last in the comforting, placating warmth of a friend. All the fear, stress, and discomfort that'd been piling up on him over the past month began to dissipate, just a little.

   "Thanks, Lix," Jisung sighed, while Felix patted his head, careful not to let the wet polish come in contact with Jisung's hair.

   "Love you, bro."

   "Love you, too." After a moment, he lifted his hand in front of his face, a bit of a smile returning  as he asked, "Can you do mine?"

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i was waiting for inspiration so that i could make this chapter better but it never came 😔