(HELP ME THINK OF A CHAPTER TITLE BC I RAN OUT OF TIME TO THINK OF ONE BEFORE I LEFT FOR DANCE CLASS BUT I STILL WANTED TO GET IT OUT FOR YALL<3 

EDIT: i have one now but if someone comes up with one i like more before the book's completed i'll change it! )

MAY 23

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   No one wanted to stop hanging out, even when they were starving— growling stomachs all down the bank. Turns out they'd all missed each other, like a lot. Just like Christmas break, after spending every day seeing each other at least here or there for months, going a week without getting together was quite strange— depressing even— so they just kept having fun straight into the evening, and they would have stayed long enough to see the sunset had it not been for the storm clouds that rolled in over the water and rumbled ominously. At which point, it turned into a race back up the steep embankment, with their competition not being each other this time, but rather the impending rainstorm.

   With his long legs, Hyunjin was faster than all but speed demon Jeongin (whose impressive running ability was only discovered by the boys that afternoon), and the two of them alone beat the rain. The rest filtered into the parking lot in a cacophonous rush of bare feet and plastic flip-flops hitting gravel along with the downpour. 

   Most of them had walked to the lake that morning, but lucky for them, Seungmin had brought his van, and benevolently, he allowed them all to take shelter inside as long as they didn't drip all over the leather.  In a half-soaked pile, they all entered the car, randomly selecting seats afterward— some tumbling into the back row, the others filling up the front.

   Wanting to keep the good times going with happy stomachs, a quick whole-car discussion led to Seungmin setting course for the nearest grocery store. Draped with brightly-colored beach towels, a line of boys headed straight for the meat section, picking up several trays of chicken to grill at Felix's (who volunteered himself and his grill) house. 

   "You sure your family will be alright with us taking over the kitchen, mate?"

   "Oh for sure! They're used to me doing that already— so especially when they get free grilled chicken, they won't much care if I bring a small army to share with."

.

   Chicken long gone and growling stomachs satisfied, a bunch of sandy-haired boys (with their shirts mostly dry) headed down to Felix's basement to play Mario Kart (once Chan had ensured they all did their part to clean the kitchen).

   After creaming everyone in the first race, Felix announced he was off to take a quick shower. As he set down his controller, he looked to his side, where Hyunjin sat. "Jinnie, if you want to shower down here, you can change into the clothes you forgot last time," he offered.

    Hyunjin started to get up, too. "Thanks, Lixie. That'd be great. Are they in your room?"

   "Yeah, I'll bring 'em down real quick." Then Felix was off.

   "Hello~ Changbin hyung, could ya ready up already?" Seungmin prodded impatiently. 

   Changbin's tilted head snapped back toward the television; brow continuing to be wrinkled as he pressed the A button to appease Seungmin.  

   Minho wasn't playing this round, preferring to watch for now: it was more entertaining to see Seungmin, Changbin, Jisung, and Jeongin react to their wins and losses. Especially when Jisung and Changbin got so heated and animated during the final lap and began yelling when Jeongin accidentally hit them both with an coincidentally perfectly-timed Bullet Bill— allowing Seungmin to easily take first place.

   As he watched though, Minho noticed Jeongin repeatedly checking his "potato phone" (as Seungmin liked to call it) between matches. 

   Shortly after Hyunjin (and a little cloud of steam) emerged from the bathroom, toweling his hair, Jeongin checked it one last time, with a twitch of a frown, announcing: "Sorry guys, I gotta go."

   Most of the boys in the room looked over shoulders in Jeongin's direction with slightly disgruntled noises of surprise. More than anyone, though, Seungmin's brows were furrowed.

   "I have a shift starting in twenty minutes." It seemed as if, with the way he turned his face to look directly at him as he spoke, Jeongin was specifically saying that to Seungmin, rather than the room.

   Jeongin was met with a lot of loud pouting, which left him chuckling as he got up, heading for the stairs. "Today was a lot of fun." He paused, bashfully adding, "I missed you all. Tell Felix hyung I said thanks again for dinner, and goodbye."

   He had hardly disappeared for a full second before Seungmin was up from the couch and following after him. And it went quiet for a bit. A minute or two. Changbin and Hyunjin glanced at each other from opposite couches. Jisung sat on the edge of the coffee table, drumming his fingers on it, glancing down at Minho (who sat in front of him on the floor) with an ordinary, friendly little smile. Minho's lips twitched back similarly on their own. Chan yawned.

   Felix brought fresh, happy energy as he sped down the basement stairs and walked to the couches, refreshing the stale air that was only kept from silence by the sound of the Mario Kart menu music in the background. "Okay, what should we do now?" He settled on the arm of the couch Changbin sat on.

   Then there were sounds of pensive humming meshing together around the room.

   Minho knew what he was hoping for. But did he want to go so far as to say something? To make a suggestion?

maybe i'll just wait and see if one of them says it.

or on second thought maybe i could just grow up and... say it myself.

   Clearing his throat as subtly as possible, mentally and physically preparing himself to make his voice heard, hoping he didn't stumble over the words, Minho asked, quickly: "Can we watch a movie?"

   Minho didn't really want to watch a movie that much. However, while sitting here, his head had started to hurt a bit, and coming out of his comfort zone while running around like he did today left him tuckered out. What he did want, honestly, was to snuggle up to Jisung. The desire was strong enough, even, to compel him to use his voice. And squeezing onto the couch to watch a movie would give him an excuse to do so without being a pinnacle. 

   So he asked to watch a movie. And held his breath, palms sweaty, waiting for a response from his audience. Pathetic.

   Felix perked up. "Good idea! We have tons of DVDs. Let me go find us some options."

   "Ooh, I'll help," Jisung chimed, getting up from the table— with the slight, breezy movement of the air caused by his departing motion caressing Minho's forearms. 

   Minho sighed, eyes following. Knowing he'd have to be patient if he was going to be cowardly.

   Seungmin returned after a minute or so of Felix sifting through cases, piling up a large stack of options to spread out on the table— and he did not look like a happy camper. (He, in fact, looked like a camper whose fire had been put out by the rain minutes after he finally, painstakingly got it lit, and then had his food stolen by a bear that also tore up his tent for no reason.)

   "Oh, hey Seungmin." Felix smiled, unfazed by the way Seungmin trudged down the stairs and plopped himself onto the couch, across from Changbin. "Where's Innie?"

   "Gone." Seungmin folded his arms. "He said goodbye. And thanks."

   "Aw, I missed him?" A passing frown set on his lips for a moment. "Well, we're looking for a movie to watch."

   "Like always," Chan chuckled.

   "True," Jisung and Felix agreed. And then they were mumbling to each other about some Pixar movie; sorting and stacking cases they were pulling from a shelf into a pile on the floor.

   As he waited, Minho got up to find a space on the couch, taking the opposite side of the one on which Chan and Hyunjin sat, fitting himself around the arm; drawing in his knees.

   Suddenly, Felix exclaimed, "Ooh, Monsters vs. Aliens? " He held up the case as he turned toward the rest of them, grinning.

   "Oh please, no!" Minho cut in.

     ...It kinda just spilled out of his mouth. Whereas earlier it'd taken so much effort to say anything. Ugh. But, then again, at least it was coming easy now.

   No one really expected to hear his voice (ever), and hearing it so loud was enough to silence the room for few moments. Minho swallowed hard, then cleared his throat, preparing for the discomfort of sharing an opinion, which he was now obligated to do in order to explain his interjection. "I— uh... I hate that movie. A lot." Awkwardly, he chuckled, adding on: "It was an absolute waste of three hours of my life that I'll never get back... and I don't wanna do it again."

   So it didn't go too bad.  Maybe that meant he was getting better— that he'd be normal soon. That he wouldn't worry about opening his mouth anymore. Until...

   "Wow," Seungmin scoffed, surprisedly chuckling (though he still looked just as pissy as when he first came back in). "Minho hyung's talking?"

   Hit him like a knife to the chest.

   Minho's mouth snapped shut. Suddenly it didn't matter what they watched anymore. He shrunk into the couch, fading into the background while the others chattered.

   They were all talking. He thought... surely it'd be alright— no one would mind if he were to talk, too. Clearly not.

chatterbox. motor-mouth.

...i can't be that again.

  He pressed his lips together so hard they'd turn white. Dry-mouthed, he swallowed hard, eyes moving on their own, across the room, to seek comfort in Jisung's face— which had turned toward Minho over his shoulder as he heard Seungmin's words, checking Minho's reaction.

   "Seungmin—" Chan had begun to chide, likely on account of the jeer-like tone Seungmin had used.

   "What? I was just observing." He shrugged, re-crossing his arms like a huffy teenager.

   Jisung suddenly motioned for Minho to come over and join him and Felix as they sifted through the movie stack. Reluctantly, he left the couch-corner he'd fit himself into and quietly drifted across the room, head down.

   "Do you like this one?" 

   Minho heard Jisung's voice ask the question, but it didn't really register to him. After a second or two having gone by with no answer, with Jisung staring expectantly, Minho finally realized he was expected to be giving an opinion. He glanced down at the case Jisung pointed to.

Frozen.

   Of all the things they could've picked, especially at the very start of summer. Frozen?

   When he was younger, he would've made a big stink about it. After he saw the film for the first time in the theater, he decided he didn't like it for the sake of being cool— because all the little kids were raving about it, and he was a cool teenager who didn't like things like Olaf and... love. 

   At this point, he was a bit closer to being indifferent about it, but that still doesn't mean he had any desire to watch it. He didn't have any other ideas to offer though, and it wouldn't have even mattered if he did, since his mouth was now shut for the rest of the night. And Felix got real excited about it, too. Minho didn't want to kill his joy a second time.

   With the other boys' consent readily given, Felix popped the disc into the DVD player, then dropped onto the couch next to Hyunjin, who was next to already-sleepy-eyed Chan. Grinning, Jisung went to turn off the lights before he took the spot next to Felix. Which left a bit of room at the end of the couch where Minho had been sitting before he was called over.

   Returning to that corner spot he'd previously inhabited, Jisung at his side now, Minho remembered the first time he sat so close to anyone during a group hang out. How he wasn't even touching anyone, but could feel their presence at his side so heavily it was as if they were smooshing him. How it was so much. Too much.

   Now it wasn't enough. He found himself anxiously waiting— hoping for Jisung to get comfortable and relax into the couch, and inevitably (considering how cramped the seating currently was) into Minho. Because right now he just felt so unstable; anything but confident enough to reach out a hand and touch Jisung first. But he was leaned toward Felix for now, and though his knee pressed slightly, unavoidably, into Minho's, it wasn't enough.

   For more reasons than just making the couch extra cramped, letting Jisung and Felix sit together was... maybe not the best idea— for the sake of the other viewers, anyway. They were quoting everything; singing all of the songs. At some point, they began to serenade each other clumsily ("Wait, am I Anna?"— "No, you're Elsa!").

    Actually, no, maybe it was a great idea. Minho, at least, rather quickly became grateful for their attention-drawing noisiness, because right now, he was really, really embarrassed.

   The movie— the one that Minho had dismissed as a dumb kids' movie— had just begun and already, Minho was feeling his heart clench. Felix and Jisung were enthusiastically singing along to "Do you Wanna Build a Snowman?", but Minho was frozen (no pun intended) still; rigid and without breath, as if he'd been pierced through. 

   In those huge, animated eyes there was... him. The story of a lonely child, always told to go away. Always turned down. 

   He glanced around the room and found that everyone else was perfectly relaxed. (Chan may have even been asleep.) He was the only one tense and stone-faced, casting pensive glances toward the floor when the girl on screen wasn't really a fictional character anymore; she was him— younger him. And when he'd first watched the movie as an angsty teen who didn't understand anything about himself and didn't want to, he never would've stooped so low as to acknowledge that he identified with that annoying, overly enthusiastic little girl. She was loud. She was childish. She craved human interaction. Love. Affection. Community. She was him.

   He shrunk in on himself, taking embarrassed to new heights, when he felt tears prick at his eyes during "For the First Time in Forever". Hand over his mouth; fingers flicking out once or twice to subtly wipe away the stupid tears that staring up at the ceiling and pressing his fingers under his eyes couldn't curb. Fuck.

    Really? He was crying over this? Frozen? During this song?? At least it was dark in there. It was probably because of Seungmin's comment earlier— without it, he probably would've just been quiet and pensive for the whole film, but now he was even more pathetically sensitive. So much so that a fucking Disney princess movie made him cry.

   Minho had hoped that everyone would just keep paying attention to the screen, or to Jisung and Felix (in full duet mode), but at some point, Jisung's eyes must have wandered over to him, because he stopped singing and stiffened as he turned his head to Minho, hand coming to his mouth to cover a quiet gasp that made Minho want to facepalm, hard. 

   At least he didn't bring any more attention to it after that. Anyone else (with the exception of Chan) would've just been confused. Felix went on singing, oblivious, but Jisung smiled a little and laid his arm over Minho's shoulder, leaning his head against Minho's. 

Finally.

   Warmth flooded in that soothed Minho instantly. After waiting so long, so anxiously, he couldn't help but melt into Jisung instantly. 

   Touch feather-light and tender, Jisung wiped the last spilling tear with his thumb.

.

me when i realize im accidentally writing seungmin just like one of my brothers o.o

anyway here's the sketch i did for this chapter in school today, try to guess who everyone is from left to right lol

if you wanna see more art and also get upcoming chapter previews (!!) join the hold me/only human server >:) link in bio