Chapter 12

They woke as they fell asleep in each other’s arms. Chrissy couldn’t remember feeling so rested or relaxed. She looked up at Nicolas and saw that he was just as relaxed so she closed her eyes to keep the moment a while longer. Nicolas seemed to realise this and kissed her on the top of her head in appreciation.

Eventually they had to make a move and Nicolas reluctantly left his mate and returned to his room to shower and dress for the day. Chrissy on the other hand had been fine while Nicolas was there but when he left she tried to sit up she suddenly felt nauseous. Gilbert had been bringing her tea and crackers the past few mornings and she always got up feeling fine.

She concentrated on her breathing before getting up and barely made it to the bathroom before she threw up. When she was done she sat on the tile floor panting until she was able to get to her feet. She rinsed out her mouth then brushed her teeth before stripping off and getting under the shower.

Chrissy didn’t go down for breakfast and when Nicolas knocked on her door she opened it a little warily, “I’m fine Nicky, just not hungry is all. I’ll have something before I go to the nursery I’m sure Gilbert won’t mind.”

Nicolas pulled her into his arms, “I’m certain he won’t mind. But there is something I would ask of you?” Chrissy looked up at curiously, “You are the only person living or dead to call me Nicky,” she tried not to grin at him, “I have a reputation to uphold but somehow having a group of Enforcers follow the lead of a someone called Nicky…”

She couldn’t help it she started to giggle, “So is it okay if I call you Nicky when we’re alone?”

“Most definitely!” then he leant down and kissed until she was a little giddy. “If you need me throughout the day call to me or touch my mind. It will settle us both and help us stay calm and focused.”

She nodded, “Okay. Have a good day Nicky.”

When Chrissy finally came down stairs, Gilbert fixed her a light breakfast and she thanked him as she stepped out onto the back porch. Her thoughts went to Christian; I can feel you nearby Christian. I’m ready to go to the nursery; you can join me if you like.

He did indeed join her and even though they didn’t speak she sensed that he was okay with what had happened. As they walked along she nudged him in the side with her elbow and he moved closer so she could lean in to him as friends sometimes do.

When they reached the nursery Christian veered off, I won’t be too far away if you need me, although it might help things if you call on your mate first.

Chrissy heard him laugh in her head; Smart arse! she grinned then opened the door to the nursery and was careful to make sure it was closed behind her. She didn’t want any of the little ones to sneak out.

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Chrissy spent several hours each day at the nursery helping out with the toddlers, reading to them, supervising in the outside play area and comforting them if they were hurt or just needed a hug. The first time she saw one of the little ones shift her legs gave out and she fell in a heap on the floor grateful that she wasn’t holding one of the babies.

She had thought it would frighten her but it amazed her that anyone could be human one minute and in the next be walking on all fours and covered in fur. She was careful not to approach when she thought a child was going to shift and she’d wait for them to come to her before she’d touch them. The first time she pet one of the children she found tears running down her face.

They were nothing like what she believed Were’s to be but then again they were still children… still innocent. Chrissy struggled to sort out her emotions in regards to Were’s and her thoughts always went back to Nicolas. He’d been so patient with her and she knew the distance between them was affecting him in ways it wasn’t affecting her.

She loved being at the Compound but she wasn’t at all sure she wanted to make it her home permanently. This she guessed was something she’d need to discuss with Nicolas. She knew he had responsibilities to the Pack and that this was his home but again she was unsure if it could ever truly be hers.

She seemed to be spending less time with Kasey than she thought she would. She felt her near and they touched minds several times throughout the day but she felt a little guilty that they hadn’t spent much time together just the two of them. With that in mind she set about organising a shopping trip for the two of them.

That night after dinner as they sat on the front porch and watched the stars come out Chrissy spoke with Nicolas about it. She didn’t have a great deal in the bank but you didn’t need a lot if you were careful.

Nicolas was happy she wanted to go shopping, “I’ll need to come along. We can’t be too far from each other Chrissy, not while we aren’t fully mated and even then it will be a while before I am comfortable with you going too far from my side.”

Chrissy rolled her eyes internally and laughed when he said he knew she was doing it. “So who else? Kasey said the first time she went to town there were like three car loads of Were’s following her.”

“Well not quite that many, but,” and he couldn’t help grinning at the memory of Kasey telling his brother how she was not impressed with the entourage. “Daniel will shadow Kasey, but we will need at least two more, how about Nate and Eli?”

Nicolas felt her tense and was surprised. She turned away from him not wanting him to see just how angry she still was with Eli. “Chrissy?” when she didn’t answer him Nicolas turned her towards him, “Chrissy talk to me.”

She sighed, “Nate’s fine and anyone else you trust but not Eli.”

He left it for the moment not wanting to upset her when things between them were going so well. “Nate and Christian then?” she nodded and he thought it wise to say no more.

                                                  ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chrissy was up early next morning and for the first time in days didn’t want to throw up. She took it as a good sign but was still careful with what she ate not wanting to set her stomach off again. She was looking forward to going to town, she hadn’t left the Compound since she’d arrived and she wanted to spend time with Kasey.

Chrissy wanted to buy a couple of things while they were out and with this in mind knocked on Braedon’s office door. “Braedon is it okay if I come in?”

A moment later Braedon was opening the door for her, “Of course Chrissy what can I do for you?”

“I need to use your computer I want to check my bank balance so I know how much not to spend today,” she smiled hoping he’d say yes.

“Chrissy there is no need for you to use your own money. Nicolas will be happy to pay for whatever you wish to buy. In fact I believe he’d feel slighted if you did otherwise.”

Chrissy sat on the couch in Braedon’s office and sighed, “You guys sure don’t believe in making it easy on a girl. I’m used to being independent Braedon. I’ve had to be. God knows my family,” she laughed, “what family! I’ve pretty much been on my own since I left school.

It took a while for me to get used to it Braedon, but I like it. I like that I don’t have to answer to anyone but myself. I like that I can come and go as I please,” she looked up at him, “and I like that if I want to get drunk I can.”

She put her face into her hands, “I haven’t been what I’d call alone since you took Kasey away from us.” She saw the look of hurt in his eyes, “don’t get me wrong Braedon I’m happy for you both. If anyone deserved a ‘happily ever after’ she did. I thought that’s what I wanted too…”

“And now Chrissy, do you still want a ‘happily ever after’?”

She shrugged her shoulders and got to her feet, “I’ll let Nicolas pay I just won’t buy much, that way we both kinda win.”

“Chrissy I know I’m not Kasey but I have seen a few things in my day. If you ever wish to talk I have two good ears.”

Chrissy reached up and gave Braedon a kiss on the cheek, “Thank you,” then she left him to his paperwork to get ready for the trip into town.

She met Kasey on the stairs and told her she’d only be a few minutes then hurried to her room to grab her bag and a light jacket. Everyone was waiting out front when she came down and she found she was looking forward to the day. She moved closer to Nicolas and her hand automatically slipped into his. Nate was in the driver’s seat of one car and Christian was leaning against another car. She took a closer look and saw that Daniel was in the driver’s seat. They all looked comfortable and relaxed but Chrissy knew they were more aware of their surroundings than any human would ever know.

Nicolas gave her hand a slight squeeze and she smiled up at him, “Let’s get this show on the road!”

They moved towards the car but Nicolas stopped when he felt Chrissy tense up. He looked around to see what had upset her and saw Eli in the distance. He let it go, when Chrissy was ready to face Eli she would and he thought to himself, And I want a front row seat for that!

“Come ladies,” he moved towards the car and waited for both Chrissy and Kasey to get in before he slid in the front next to Nate.

Chrissy was quiet until they turned off of the entry road to the Compound. Nicolas could feel her relax and soon she was chatting away to Kasey. Nicolas looked up at Nate and saw that he too had noticed Chrissy’s reaction to Eli.

Once they’d parked the car the men followed the women towards the shopping area. Kasey took the lead telling Chrissy about her favourite shops and pointing out a few café’s she liked as well.

Kasey bought a few things and Chrissy window shopped, she didn’t feel right spending Nicolas’s money. There were so many things she’d like to have bought but didn’t for that very reason. But when she found a shawl she couldn’t put down he insisted and before she knew it he’d paid for it.

“Thank you Nicolas,” she reached up and kissed him softly and for a moment he sensed sadness within her but it passed so quickly he wasn’t certain if he’d imagined it or not.

Chrissy relaxed even more after that and let Nicolas buy her a few more things. She needed more clothes, jeans and shirts especially and somehow found herself with three pairs of jeans and as many shirts.

Chrissy loved pretty things and couldn’t help but veer towards several jewellery shops. She didn’t go inside, just check out the window displays. One window really grabbed her attention and she stood transfixed gazing as one of the most beautiful rings she’d ever seen.

Nicolas coaxed her into the store and asked to see the tray of rings Chrissy had been looking at. He indicated that the man should put the tray in front of Chrissy and he waited. He smiled when she picked up the ring she’d been looking at. She didn’t put it on, she just looked at it but Nicolas took it from her and placed it on her ring finger.

Chrissy gasped! “Nicky do you know how much that cost?”

“I would pay double if it was what you wanted Chrissy,” he wiggled the ring on her finger making sure it fit then turned to the store owner, “We’ll take it!”

Chrissy tried to take it off so she could put it into a ring tray but Nicolas wouldn’t hear of it, “We are engaged are we not, I would have you wear a ring little one.”

Chrissy blushed and nodded and Kasey all but jumped up and down in her excitement. Nicolas felt almost whole and hoped this was a good sign. He paid for the ring and even though she was wearing it, he was given a ring box in a little bag. He looked at it a moment not sure it would look dignified for a man like him to be carrying such a thing.

Chrissy saved him though taking the bag then leaning in to Nicolas, “Thank you Nicky.”

He kissed the top of her head; “You are more than welcome Chrissy.”

Both Nate and Christian seemed a little surprised at Nicolas’s gesture and Chrissy turned to Kasey for an explanation. Were’s don’t usually wear jewellery we’d lose it when we shift. I’m thinking this is maybe his way of saying he wants you as you are. I don’t think he’ll push for you to make the change Chrissy. He loves you far too much to risk it.

Okay, she replied.

“I think I’m about ready for lunch,” and her stomach growled to emphasise what she said. They laughed and made their way to one of the café’s Kasey had pointed out earlier.

Chrissy kept looking at her ring, it was so beautiful, so sparkly and so, so expensive. But she loved it and even if things didn’t work out between her and Nicolas she would always wear it no matter what.

She leaned into Nicolas on the trip home, it had been a good day and she didn’t want the feeling to end. She closed her eyes and relaxed as he put his arm around her and pulled her close to him. This could be her life if she’d let it, if she let go enough of herself to accept it. But she wasn’t sure if she was ready to do that just yet,so for now she just enjoyed his closeness.

Chrissy reached out in search of Nicolas’s hand and held tightly. It helped ground her and as the miles passed her mind wandered and she saw herself holding a baby and as she turned she saw Nicolas carrying a child on his shoulders. They were both laughing and she felt a sense of deep calm and belonging.

The car came to a stop and Chrissy was jolted back to full wakefulness. She looked down and was a little sad when she saw that her arms were empty. She turned to Nicolas and he gave her hand a squeeze, “We’re home little one why don’t you and Kasey put your purchases away and I’ll ask Gilbert about some tea?”

She nodded and got out of the car. A cup of tea and a nap, she thought tiredly then walked up the steps and into the house with Kasey. They went up to their rooms and put away their shopping, Chrissy kept glancing at her ring and held it up to the light to have a good look at it before she went down to the kitchen.

As she was passing through the living room Chrissy heard Eli coming out of Braedon’s office. She quickened her steps not wanting to run into him. Luck was with her as she made it to the kitchen without having to see him. Kasey and Nicolas were already there sipping tea and eating cookies. It was nice to sit and enjoy their company.

“You look done in little one,” Nicolas said, “how about when you’re finished your tea we watch a movie and you can rest until dinner? It’s been a big day and it would be nice to sit quietly with you for a while.”

“Sounds like a good idea Nicky,” and she leaned into him before finishing off her tea.

Nicolas sat on the couch and used the remote to turn on the television. Chrissy got comfortable lying beside him and when he started playing with her hair she sighed and relaxed into his touch.

Nicolas woke her not too long before dinner so she could freshen up before going into the dining room. Chrissy looked at the meal, “Were’s sure do eat a lot of meat huh?”

Jacob answered, “We have a fast metabolism so we need to eat more or more often. We are carnivores so need the protein and iron we get from red meat. Most like it rare, but not everyone.”

“I like my meat medium rare, just so long as it’s not leaking all over the plate if you know what I mean?”

“Ah yes,” returned Jacob, “I do indeed know what you mean.”

Dinner went well and Chrissy ate her fill, she was a lot hungrier than she thought and by the time she had finished desert she was more than full. Nicolas suggested they go for a walk and Chrissy jumped at the offer. She hadn’t been outside a great deal since she’d arrived and she wanted to do some star gazing.

Nicolas got a travel blanket out of the hall closet and opened the door for her. When she looked at the blanket he just smiled and put an arm around her as he continued walking. She let it go figuring she’d find out what he was up too soon enough.

They walked down towards the river and found a clearing where they could look out over the water and also see the nearby mountains. Nicolas spread the blanket on the grass and sat down patting the space next to him. She watched as he lay down and looked up at the sky, “This is the best way to gaze at the stars.”

Chrissy stretched out next to him and he put his arm out so she could rest her head on it, “This is the best part of being in the country. You can’t see nearly as many stars in the city.”

As she got comfortable she reached out a hand and rested it on his chest. He immediately took it in his own and gave it a slight squeeze. They didn’t speak for a long time content to just lie together and watch the stars. When Nicolas finally turned to her again he leant over her and kissed her softly on the lips.

Chrissy smiled and when he would have pulled away she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him back. This surprised him but he had learnt his little mate was full of surprises some of which he even enjoyed. He kissed her again and this time it was more passionate. As she responded he deepened the kiss and at first Chrissy went with it but then she panicked and pushed at his chest.

He pulled back and she sat up, “No way are we having sex out here were anyone can see what we’re doing!”

“We we’re going to have sex? I mean would you have…”

She thumped him on the arm, “That was a figure of speech Nicky, not…” she laughed realising he was teasing her. “Let’s go home I think I’ve gazed at the stars enough for one night.”

Let’s go home. I do hope she means this to be our home. He shook out the blanket before folding it then they headed back to the house. When they got to the front porch she halted her steps and he turned to her and waited knowing she had something to say.

“Nicky this whole ‘us’ thing, it scares the hell out of me. I feel so overwhelmed a lot of the time and when I’m not I’m pissed because I can never have a minute alone. And,” she could feel her face blush, “I’m afraid of what you’ll have to do if we… so that we can become mates.”

“There is no rush Chrissy, when I make you mine it will be because you want it to happen. I know you’re afraid but we are all afraid of the unknown, if you have any questions I’ll answer as best as I can or you can speak to someone else if you’d rather.”

“You tell me Nicky please?”

Nicolas led her over to the bench facing out towards the mountains and pulled her onto his lap, “You are mine Chrissy, you’ll always be my mate whether we seal the mating bond or not. I want you to remember that I will never force you and I’ll never make you feel obligated to complete it.” He sighed and ran the back of his hand over her cheeky.

“To complete or seal the bond I need to mark you. That is to say I need to bite you hard enough to break the skin. This will leave a mark, a scar. But Chrissy it is a mark only other Were’s will be able to see. It will hurt a little but the bite usually happens in the midst of making love.

When we make love the need to mark you will grow until it’s almost all I can think of. Instinct as old as Were’s comes to the fore and it is then as I feel you reaching your climax that I would mark you. Once I have bitten you I would lick the wound clean and my saliva would seal it.”

Chrissy looked up at him with wide innocent eyes, “Would I lose what’s left of who I am too?”

Nicolas blinked he was so surprised and for a moment he couldn’t speak, “Chrissy is that what you believe is happening? That I… we are taking away who you are?”

Chrissy lowered her head and nodded silently. He pulled her closer to him and held her tight, “That has never been anyone’s intention little one, all we want is to see to your safety. To take away who you are would be to change you and I love you exactly how you are.”

He heard her stifle a sob and lifted her face so he could see her, “You are my mate Chrissy but perhaps you should remind yourself that just as you are mine I am also yours. Come there is a chill in the air and I’m thinking you are about ready for bed.”

When they got to her room Nicolas kissed her gently then turned to leave, “Nicky,” she spoke so softly he almost didn’t hear her, “stay with me tonight,” she blushed but didn’t look away from him.

“Chrissy if I stay with you tonight I can’t promise that I will be able to keep my hands to myself.”

“I’m sorry Nicolas I shouldn’t have asked. Goodnight,” then she reached up and kissed him on the cheek before turning from him and closing her door. She stood against the closed door for several minutes wishing she’d had the guts to let him in but she needed to be sure. She knew that the next time they made love he would mark her and that was the only reason she closed the door between them.

Nicolas too stood silently on the other side of the door wishing she’d have invited him in. He knew if he hadn’t said anything he’d be in there now but he wanted her too much and he wasn’t about to put her in a position where she felt she had no choice.

The next few days went by without incident, she stayed close to the house unless she went to the nursery and then she had Christian with her. The days turned into weeks and soon she realised she’d been at the Compound for several months. She tried not to think about it too much, she’d fallen into a routine and for the moment she was happy with it. She truly enjoyed the time she spent at the nursery and more and more she gravitated towards the babies.

If she had a knack with the toddlers she was uncanny when it came to the babies. It seemed she was the only one who could settle them when they were out of sorts. She had gotten to know Elena a great deal since she first met her and as they worked side by side she started to feel comfortable with her. They would sit and chat quietly when the children were resting and Chrissy loved listening to Elena tell her stories of her children.

One afternoon as she was trying to settle little Kirri she looked up to see both Jaz and Kasey come in. Kirri was usually such a placid baby but today nothing Chrissy did seemed to settle her. She had a bit of a temperature and Elena had been concerned, so Chrissy figured that was why Jaz had come.

As they came closer Jaz placed her medical bag on the chair beside the baby change table nearby and held out her arms for the baby. Chrissy stayed close watching what Jaz did and helping when she could. They gave Kirri a tepid bath to cool her down then dressed her in a nappy and singlet before wrapping her in a cot sheet so she wouldn’t overheat. Jaz watched as Chrissy wrapped the baby then hold her close against her body to calm her.

Chrissy moved over to the couch and sat down. Kasey and Jaz sat either side and for a moment no one spoke. Chrissy could feel her nerves getting the best of her and breathed slowly to calm herself. She didn’t want to upset Kirri and she knew the baby would pick up on her emotions.

Chrissy looked down at the baby in her arms, “Is this what my baby will be like?”

There was a stunned silence then Kasey spoke, “You know?”

Chrissy nodded, “Yeah I think I knew right off, I got this fluttering feeling deep inside and I remember thinking, ‘Oh crap!’ not in a bad way. In a kind of surprised… shocked way, you know?”

Kasey put an arm around her friend, “Yeah I know. Is that why you’ve kinda kept to yourself lately?”

“Yeah.” Then she shook her head, “God it must really suck being you at times?”

Both Kasey and Jaz looked at her a little surprised.

“Kase you didn’t even flinch when I told you about the baby… when I thought you were pregnant. I’m not even gonna ask how much you knew, or what you saw but I do know that I’ve seen more than one child.”

She saw the shocked looks on their faces and continued, “On the way back from shopping a few months ago. I was resting in the back of the car leaning against Nicolas. I was half asleep, kinda drifting in and out and I saw a baby in my arms. I figured it was the same one I saw that time in Sydney,” she paused and touched the Kirri’s face softly.

“Like I said I was holding a baby and I was smiling like I was all calm and contented you know. Then I looked up and saw Nicolas and he had a little one on his shoulders, a little one about a year and a half, maybe two. They were both mine I could feel it.”

Tears were streaming down her face and somehow Kirri was taken from her and she was in Kasey’s arms. Both women held her until she was calm enough to talk once more. Then it was Jaz who spoke, “Is this why you wouldn’t let me give you a check up?”

Chrissy nodded, “I’m sorry if you thought it was because you’re a Were or that I didn’t like or trust you. I just wasn’t ready to find out and if you checked me over you’d know.”

“So,” began Jaz, “how do you feel about me checking you over now, just to make sure you and the baby are alright?”

“I’d like that Jaz thank you,” then she swiped at a stray tear, “Nicolas?”

“Nicolas will find out when you’re ready to tell him. Doctor and best friend privilege, right Kasey?”

“Right!” said Kasey and not long after they were on their way to the surgery.

The check up went well and thankfully both Chrissy and the baby were fine. She needed to eat more and Jaz gave her iron tablets to take as well. Chrissy was curious about being pregnant though and wondered if it would be different because her baby was half Were.

“I need to eat more meat don’t I and well… does being pregnant make a person agro all the time or is that just me?”

Jaz looked a little shocked, “Umm, first of all you should eat more meat but don’t force it. As to you being agro all the time,” she laughed, “Chrissy I’m fairly certain you’re carrying a boy. That would explain you having a short fuse so much lately.”

When she saw the confusion on both Chrissy and Kasey’s faces she explained, “Female Were’s are built to calm Were men it’s instinctive but male Were’s even in the womb can be… let’s say a little less calming.”

“Holy crap! The little bugger is like his father already.” All three women laughed and hugged at their secret.

When they’d stopped laughing Chrissy got a serious look on her face, “Nicolas is going to know, he’ll be able to hear the baby’s heart beat won’t he?”

Jaz took her hand trying to calm her, “To be honest I can’t believe he doesn’t already know. All I can think is that, well you’ve kind of been in denial right?” Chrissy nodded, “So I’m thinking that while you chose not to know, he couldn’t. But you’re right, now that you’ve accepted that you’re pregnant he’s bound to pick up on. I’d suggest you tell him as soon as possible.”

Chrissy sighed, “Okay, although he’s likely to get even more protective of me and that’s just gonna drive me crazy.”

Jaz grinned and both Kasey and Chrissy waited for her to explain, “Your no wall flower Chrissy, my brother knows you’ll only put up with so much before you explode. Your carrying a boy will only make that explosion more volatile.

It might take a bit but he’ll realise he can’t push you around. You may well take on some of the traits of a Were while you’re pregnant. You’re likely to feel a lot stronger, it’s sort of like your baby is helping to keep you safe until he’s born.”

“Bloody hell! He’s trying to protect me by giving me some of his traits, traits he won’t even have until he gets older?” she shook her head.

Jaz laughed, “I know it sounds strange Chrissy, but that’s exactly what’s happening. I’d like to keep an eye on you though, with your Fey blood and,” she sighed, “what you and Christian did, I think it best for both you and the baby okay?” 

“Okay. Umm will Christian know yet?”

“No,” Jaz said, “no one else will realise until Nicolas has acknowledged that you are carrying his child,” Jaz started to giggle and when she looked at Kasey she started too.

“What?” asked Chrissy, then she realised, “yeah I’d like to have a camera or better yet a video recorder going when I tell him,” and she laughed too.

The three women spent the rest of the day together. Thankfully no one needed Jaz’s skills as a healer and they sat around drinking tea and chatting. Jaz sat back and listened to Chrissy and Kasey reminisce about Sydney and had to wipe tears of laughter out of her eyes after listening to some of the things the two women had got up to.

Throughout their conversations and reminiscing Chrissy asked questions about being pregnant. She wanted to know if things would be different because her baby was a Were, she asked questions about the birth and what would happen after the baby was born. This was all so new to her and she wasn’t just nervous she was terrified, so she asked as many questions as she could think of and figured she’d have more for Jaz the next time she saw her.

When Chrissy left later that afternoon with Kasey she felt a sense of friendship and trust developing between her and Jaz. She also found herself hoping that all three of them would become lifelong friends.

On the way back to the house Chrissy sent out her thoughts to find Nicolas she needed to see him, to speak to him. Now that she’d accepted the fact that she was pregnant she knew she had to tell him. He was going to be a father and he had a right to know.

Chrissy couldn’t stop the butterflies fluttering in her stomach as she wondered if he’d be happy or not. She sensed him in the training centre and her heart skipped a beat. She turned to Kasey, “Kase I umm, Nicolas is in the training centre and I’m…”

“It’s okay Chrissy; he’s going to be so happy! Surprised,” she laughed, “but extremely happy.” Then Kasey continued on to the house and Chrissy stood for a full minute looking at the training centre before she made a move.