Remain positive and persistent even in the face of adversity. Allah is aware of your early morning prayers and your quiet cries. Remain patient, for He is always present.

Lower your gaze as much as you can, and wait for the one who is meant for you.

Ahlam.

1.45 pm. After finishing my prayer, I folded my prayer mat, or janamaz, but a little while later, I felt a strong urge to pray to The One and Only Allah.
I started crying uncontrollably and giving Him all of my troubles, suffering, and anxieties while I was in the Sujood (prostrating) position. He is the only one who truly knows me.

Speaking to others about your troubles can occasionally cause them to spread to other people, but when you confide in and pray to Allah alone, it remains between Him and you; how lovely is that? Praise be to Allah (Allah is Perfect).

I sighed with relief as I wiped away my tears and felt so content and at peace that I asked Allah for forgiveness. I wiped away my tears and took off my black hijab and prayer scarf to make sure I was adequately covered for prayer. As I was folding them away and putting my janamaz by the Quran in the open bed stand drawer, I heard three loud knocks on the door, which startled me and caused me to knock over a glass vase that was on the nightstand. Screaming loudly, I looked down at the gorgeous roses with a scent of red velvet strewn throughout the shards of glass on the stone floor.

I stared at the mess I made for a moment, trying to stop my unsteady left hand from shaking too much to do anything else. I quickly considered wearing my hijab or bringing my hair forward to cover up my tear-streaked face after remembering the knock on the door. I chose the latter option. I swiftly wrapped a blue head scarf around my head, completely encasing my long black hair, and said, "Come in."
"

I started to wear a hijab when I reached the age of 13 to curb possible sexual desires from the opposite sex and for religious beliefs. My mother used to always say to me "habibi (my love or a word similar) only allow your future husband and close family to see your hair down freely, preserve your true beauty for them alone to see only."

Since the incident, my left hand wasn't capable of handling much gravity or tension that only Hania and her mother Faiza were aware of. Today, it was hurting me a lot so I had it supported in the pocket of my long midnight blue A-line dress, which touched the tops of my bare feet. Displayed with white floral flowers from the hem of the long sleeves and at the bottom that was rousing ever so slightly from the gentle breeze of the open balcony doors.

When nobody responded I presumed whoever it was decided to walk away, so raising and contracting my shoulders I casually said audibly "oh well"

Turning, I was astounded when my eyes unexpectedly landed on Aahil who was causally lounging against the open balcony doors. His dark brown eyes studying me, steadily searching my face from my eyes to my lips.... Lingering on my lips. I wasn't even aware that I was staring back until he spoke out in a warm and gentle tone "Assalamu Alaikum" (Peace be unto you) with a cute smile playing on his lips.

Distancing myself away from him and lowering my gaze in embarrassment, I replied back in a whisper "Waleikumsalam."

We stood there for a few moments, in silence. My gaze on my bare toes, peeking through the hem of my long dress; his, burning gaze into me.

Hearing Aahil draw in a deep breath, he slowly walked towards me but not close enough to invade my personal space.

"Why are you trying to ignore me Ahlam?" He said it in a quiet voice.

Although I tried not to look up at him, his voice drew me in with its seductive quality.

Astaghfirullah (I ask Allah for forgiveness)-Would it be so wrong if I took a fleeting peek at him?

"Okay, so... You are willing to meet a stranger who wants to ask for your hand in marriage but so desperate to avoid me? he continued in a pained tone while I just stood there.

He tilted his head slightly to get a better look at me, which I tried to resist but quickly realized I had lost when I looked up and saw his concerned expression.

My mind was on overdrive... How did he get on my balcony?

What exactly was he doing here?

I knew his name was Aahil but knew nothing else.

"Please," I begged him. I am not sure what I was begging for... To stop him from questioning me? For him to leave my bedroom?

He seemed to read my mind when he said, "I knocked on your door earlier to call you down for lunch, but then I heard you yell and something smash..."

He swallowed hard and nervously continued, "You did not answer."

He searched my face before saying, "Your room is next to mine, Ahlam, and I was worried you might have hurt yourself. "I am sorry if I stepped over your 'Aahil' barrier," he said, a slow smile spreading across his face and into his warm eyes.

I was totally taken back by his honesty. "Whether you try to cover your face with your hair or constantly keep your gaze downwards, I will always see you for who you are," he said openly.

"... and I see you've been crying?" With sympathy, he went on.

What!? How did he find out? How long had he been standing there, watching me? I jumped back, lowering and wrapping the bottom half of my scarf around my face. Oh Allah! How did he know I had been crying? How did he know I was considering whether to cover my face with my hair?

"Please stay away from me," I asked him through my scarf.

I could hear his footsteps getting closer, until he was only an arm's length away from me. His close proximity and the heavenly scent of his aftershave were making me nervous, and I felt myself beginning to panic. What is happening to me?

You can deceive those around you, Ahlam, but I will not believe you. By the way, I asked my mother to decline the family who is showing interest in you, and she agreed. He was happy, but why? Why was he concerned? Why is he telling me this information right now? alone. I was nervously playing with my fingers because I had never been this close to a guy on my own before and he was far too close.

With a miserable expression, he said, "I know you hurt, I really do, but please give me the benefit of the doubt and allow me to get to know you like the rest of my family does." "You have consistently avoided me; what is the reason for this? How much does that hurt me, do you know?"

I said nothing, stunned by his candid admission and unsure of how to respond.

Do you? With a husky edge to his voice, he asked again, sending shivers down my spine. I just shook my head, silent, afraid of this new foundation of inner feelings I was starting to feel.

"Ahlam I...."

When I could take no more, I furiously pulled the scarf from my face and glared up at him, but not before asking him all the questions I so desperately wanted to ask: "Why are you doing this? Why do not you just stay away from me?You can get any girl of your standard or class. Someone who can accommodate your lifestyle. "Why me?" I explained to him.

"There is a lot of darkness and mourning in my life.I do not want to involve anyone in this, so why can not you understand that?You say you want to know me, so yeah?When you discover who I really am, you will not be able to look at me, much less praise me in public. You will not even be able to accept me. You will be embarrassed by me.You will grow weary of my shortcomings." I continued speaking, and Aahil remained motionless, listening with his arms crossed.

When he realized my release of hostile judgments and opinions had ended, he defended himself by saying, "Why are you talking unfavorably and negatively about yourself and me? You do not know me, but if you tried to get to know me, you would see that I am not the type of person to ignore or be unsupportive of someone I care about.

You are correct; I may have a status, but that does not imply that I am a heartless man who only associates with certain types of people because of my status. You have no right to say that, Ahlam," he said sternly. "Why do not you just give me a chance and let me judge your character?" he begged shortly after.

When there was no response...

"Come. We should go downstairs and join them for lunch; they must be wondering where we have gone," he said sternly, and I just glanced at his retreating back, sighing in relief when he was out of sight.

This guy will drive me crazy.

I walked into the ensuite bathroom towards the sink and turned on the cold water, shaking my good hand to remove any traces of dried tears. "O Allah, please guide me," I murmured. Grabbing my specs, I went downstairs to the open plan kitchen, recalling what Aahil had said. Everyone greeted me cheerfully, except for him, who was looking down at his plate, brows furrowed.

"We have been waiting for you, my dear; what took you so long?" Uncle Firoz said this while pulling out a seat and motioning for me to sit. Uncle Firoz was a kind and compassionate man who resembled my late father in many ways. Why has my family loved me for so long in such a short period of time? I questioned myself.

"I apologize sincerely for keeping you all waiting. I dropped a vase on the floor upstairs by mistake.

"Ahlam! Are you in pain? Auntie Faiza hurried to my side and spoke.

"No! no! "Auntie, I am fine, but I still need to clean up the mess I made," I apologized. She hugged me and said, "Do not worry, Ahlam, I will arrange for someone to clean it up for you Insha'Allah."

Returning to her seat, I looked around and noticed Hania casting suspicious glances at me and her brother, so I shook my head disapprovingly.

Glad I had decided to put my glasses on for lunch, I bravely stared at Aahil again and could not deny that he was a very handsome man. With his fashionable thick black hair cut short at the back and sides and his intoxicating blue eyes, which were unusual to see on a Pakistani man, I felt myself turn crimson as he looked up and caught me staring. His eyes silently inquired about my well-being, which I chose to ignore.

I could not put my finger on it, but there was something else about the way he looked at me, with his sardonic smile and lips twisted slightly to one side. He appeared to be a Greek model, Mash'Allah (God has willed it), but his reaction quickly changed.

"Ahem!" Someone coughed, and I immediately lowered my gaze.

Astaghfirullah! How embarrassing of me. What is wrong with me? Was I really only looking at him now? And why did his expression change so abruptly? Ya Allah! Please help me!

Hania, aware and embarrassed that his family had noticed us staring at each other, said in a teasing tone, "Your staring contest can continue, but please, can we have lunch first?" she laughed

I looked down shyly.

******

"I want to know you," a voice interrupted, and I flinched back. What should I do?

***
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