When I got out of Matt's apartment it was already dark outside. The fresh breeze hit my face, cooling my skin and I had to narrow my eyes to protect them from the bite of the cold.

I walked in the streets like in a dream, lightheaded, my moves were mechanical and my mind was empty. Empty from the worry, the fear and the pain. The storm that was usually raging in my mind seemed to be tamed by the endorphins generated by my brain cells, locked in its cage in the deepest corner of my head, I hoped, for a long time.

My lungs filled with the cool air and I felt my chest moving up and down with every breath I took. Now that my brain allowed me to rest, I felt alive for the first time in two years. I felt real.

My steps echoed against the pavement, following the rhythm of music that could be heard from a bar a little further ahead of me. I smiled. The whole city seemed happy, like it was celebrating Jake's freedom.

As I approached the bar, I spotted a small group of people laughing. They reminded me of us, the group and I. Despite everything we've been through, we always managed to make each other laugh. A coping mechanism to keep our sanity.

I smiled when I walked past the group, happy that I could tell I had the same bond with the wonderful people that became my family.

When I arrived home, Jessy and Colin were sitting on the couch as if they were waiting for me.

Jessy was restless, slightly jumping on her seat and when she saw me she stood up with her arms open for me and ran toward me, screaming with happiness.

"You did it! He's free, you did it!" she laughed, "oh MC, I'm so proud of you!"

I laughed with her letting the exhilaration of the moment take control of myself. My muscles felt numb and my legs were shaky as I started to relax and let out all the stress that was part of me for so long.

"We did it, Jessy," my smile was so bright that my cheeks hurt, "Jake is free."

"You must be so happy! And Lilly? How did she react? I haven't talked to her yet,"

I shook my head, "she was pretty overwhelmed," I started remembering Lilly crying on the phone. "She has both Hannah and Jake back now," I smiled.

"So what about a drink to celebrate the good news?" We both turned our heads when we heard Colin's voice. He had put three glasses on the coffee table and had a bottle of whiskey in his hand.

"Aww, good idea honey!" Jessy clapped her hands happily and walked to her fiancé before giving him a quick kiss on the corner of his lips.

Colin grinned at her and wrapped his arms around her waist kissing her deeply.

I felt a little like an outsider. A lot of things had changed when I was gone. They had already built their own safe place in this apartment, and it was clear that even if they would always welcome me, I no longer had my place here. But I was truly happy for my friends, and Jessy deserved to be loved.

So it was for the best that I chose to move. As soon as I would find a new job, I would leave this place.

I sat on an armchair across the coffee table so I would face my two friends. Colin was pouring the glasses with the brown beverage and once he was done, we raised our glasses and clicked them together.

I smelled the liquid, the strong scent made me wince a bit. I liked drinking whiskey from time to time but I hadn't drunk alcohol for several months and I didn't want to feel dizzy.

I leaned my back against my seat and crossed my legs under myself. I slowly took a sip of the beverage, letting the burning sensation invade my mouth, enjoying the taste of the whiskey.

Jessy cleared her throat to draw my attention, and I looked up at her with my eyebrows raised. "So, you're going to see him again? Jake, I mean."

I snorted and hid behind my glass, "No, I don't think so."

"But why?" the redhead woman answered with disbelief, "He will soon be out of jail. Why wouldn't you see him?

"It's been two years Jessy. Things have changed. And if he wanted me in his life, Jake would have contact me earlier." I replied calmly.

" No! " my friend seemed appaled," You-you're meant for each other! After everything you've been through you can't give up now! "

I sighed. It was getting harder and harder to not feel upset. I made a decision and wanted to stick with it. I didn't want Jessy to open up the wound. I couldn't afford to contact him when I knew I was guilty for what happened to him, when, by his behavior, he made it clear he wanted nothing to do with me anymore! Trying to reach for him would only cause more pain, for him as for me.

I bit the inside of my cheek, and with all the self-control I had left I answered, "Not every love story can end well. Believe me, I'm probably more sorry than you are. But he rejected me, with good reasons. I won't try to contact him. There is no use doing this."

"But MC, listen!" Jessy started but Colin put a hand on her knee, shaking his head.

"Jessy, this is MC's choice. You have to respect it," he looked at me with a sorry look in his eyes and I nodded in gratitude.

Jessy's head switched between Colin and I a couple of times and when she finally understood she could do nothing to change my mind, she sat back on the couch, her arms crossed. An awkward silence fell between us.

"Well, thank you for the drink," I finished my glass in one go and winced, "I think I'm going to sleep. I'm exhausted."

" Yeah...sure," Jessy replied, offended.

It was a lie. I wasn't exhausted at all. On the contrary the adrenaline of the day was still running through my veins, but I wanted to be alone at that moment.

I knew Jessy would get over it. The next day she would probably be much calmer. She was upset because she wanted us to be together, she wanted me to be happy. But, as Colin said, she had to accept it wouldn't end as we had hoped.

I locked myself in my room and crawled in bed without changing into my pajamas. I looked through the window at the city light that made Colville alive.

I didn't know how much time I stayed like this, watching the night grow and then fade away. But I knew I fell asleep because it was the frantic buzz of my phone that woke me up.

I reached for my phone on the nightstand and without looking who was calling me I answered, "Morning," I grumbled half asleep.

"MC! I had news, Jake will be released next week! With Hannah we're going to pick him up at Colville prison. Will you come?"

I sat up in my bed, my eyes tightly closed because of the sun that pierced through the window and blinded me.

It didn't take time for my brain to register that it was Lilly who called me.

When I heard Hannah's name, my stomach churned. I had barely talked to her since I met her, and was absent when she left the hospital. I cursed under my breath when I realized that I never asked how she was.

"Hannah... H-how is she?" My mouth was dry and I got up to head to the bathroom. "We haven't talked since... You know."

I was clearly embarrassed but Lilly didn't seem to notice it, too busy with her happiness. I couldn't blame her for this, though.

"She's great! Thomas finally let her some air. So we thought we could do a sibling thing."

While she was speaking, I put my phone on speaker and washed my head with cold water to wake me up.

"But we'd like you to come with us! To surprise Jake."

"No!" I cut her off a little ruder than I wanted. I obviously wasn't ready to meet the sibling yet. Especially not Jake. Fortunately Lilly gave me a good excuse seconds ago. "I am not sure this is a good idea. As you said you wanted to meet as siblings. I think it would be better if the three of you were only together... as a family."

"But, you're family too, MC. You did so much for us," Lilly replied confused.

I bit my lip. I didn't want to replay the discussion I had with Jessy the night before, "Thank you Lilly, I appreciate it. I really do. But believe me, it's better if I don't come with you.

"Oh. Okay. As you wish," the blond girl answered, evidently disappointed, "So hum, good day I think."

"Good day Lilly. Say hi to Hannah for me."

We hung up without any more words, and I suddenly felt it wouldn't be that easy to move on.

-

2 months later

I put the last item in the moving box before closing it. I looked around, my room was full with boxes of several sizes. The walls were now plained. The paint had faded at some spots, showing what remained from the decorations that used to brighten up the room.

I sighed with relief, it was done. I had finally packed all my stuff and the next day I would move into my new apartment.

It was a small studio in the next neighborhood. The building wasn't really fancy but the rental was affordable for my new income.

I started a new job, three weeks ago, as a secretary in a small company. It was not my dream job but at least it was stable and helped me to build my own life. By myself, for myself.

Once I had the job, it didn't take time for me to find a new apartment, and this day was my last day as Jessy's roommate.

She helped me a lot and so did the others. Cleo, Dan, Matt, Colin and her had planned to help me with the move.

I barely had news from Lilly and Hannah. The two sisters were focused on their family, especially their brother. I didn't ask her about Jake, but Lilly told me that everything was going great.

At first, part of me was still hoping that Jake would call me. But as the weeks passed the hope slowly disappeared. The only contact Jake had, was with his sisters.

My phone rang in my jeans pocket, Matt was calling me. "Hi Matt!"

"Hello MC. I called you about tomorrow, do you need some help to finish packing your stuff?" he asked.

"No, it's okay. I've just finished, thanks!"

"Ah, perfect!" something was odd with him. I didn't know what, but I could here in his voice there was something more than asking if I needed help.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, a little concerned.

"Yeah... It's just," he started but remained silent.

"Spill the beans Matt. What is it?"

The man sighed heavily, "Jake is in Colville. He found a job here. We had a drink last week... I just wanted to inform you."

"Oh.." I simply replied. I coughed to prevent the lump in my throat from forming. Jake was in Colville. I didn't expect this.

"Are you okay?" Matt's voice was hesitant. "It's not because he contacted me that he doesn't want to talk to you."

"It's fine Matt. I'm fine." I tried to sound firm but I knew Matt wasn't fooled.

"Give him time, MC."

"See you tomorrow, Matt." I closed the conversation, upset. I wasn't mad at Matt, not at all, but talking about Jake was still a sensitive subject.

"See you tomorrow, MC," Matt replied softly, before he hung up.

The rest of the afternoon was calm. I checked if I didn't forget anything.

As the sun started to set I yawned and stretched, happy with everything I had achieved this day.

Jessy knocked on my door, "MC, someone is here for you."

I turned around, "Who is this?"

"I think you should come and see for yourself," Jessy was nervous and avoided my gaze.

I frowned and went to the living room and saw the red-haired girl rushing to her room. Strange, she never acted this way. She was usually so curious.

I headed to the front door, it wasn't totally closed so I could see a shadow moving in the interstice. I grabbed the knob and opened it.

My jaw fell with bewilderment when my gaze met the gray-blue eyes of my visitor.

"Jake?"

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