Who the hell does Georgia think she is? And what makes her think she can have an opinion on me? She doesn't even know the half of me, everything she thinks she knows about me is nothing but a memory. I am no longer that defenseless boy living at the end of the cul de sac.

I was so angry that I didn't even notice I took the wrong turn and ended up at a dead end alleyway. "Fuck me." Just as I was turning around, I am being shoved back into a wall. When I look at the person who pushed me, they wore a grey hoodie and a black ski mask.

Fucking great. The one day I decide to walk to work, I get fucking mugged. So much for starting fresh. "I'll save you the fucking time," I say, collecting myself. "I don't carry cash."

The person whose identity I did not know, chuckles. A low gravely bass in the sound they make, there's only one voice that can make my skin crawl the way it does. "Well look who it is." They say and I wonder whether I should strangle them now or wait. They remove their mask only to confirm my suspicion. "My son."

He places a dirty glove covered hand on my shoulder and I shove him back but this only makes him laugh. "Go fuck yourself." I spit, beginning to walk around him but he moves in my way again and shoves me back.

"Now wait a minute, what's the rush? You late for a meeting with the big man? I'll tell ya, what a dad you got yourself. Certainly you haven't forgotten about your real daddy, have ya?"

Being in his presence and the way he taunted me made me feel like we were back in the cold and dirty basement. The memories quickly came flooding in, the sound, the dark room and the smell was enough to have me hunched over the dirty trash can, throwing up my insides.

He chuckles some more. "I knew you couldn't forget me," I hear his footsteps get close to me, patting my back. "You can't ever forget your partner in crime."

My hand grabs a glass shard that was sitting on top of a trash bag and in a quick motion, I swing it across his face. This makes him fall back and cry out. "Ah, that's right. I forgot," He had blood trickling from his left eyebrow to his chin from where I sliced him. "You always were the fucking weakest. At least Elija had the guts to actually try and kill me. You still are and will always be a big fucking disappointment."

Something in his hand clicks but by the time I look down to realize it's a pocket knife, he slams me against the trash can and jams the blade in my stomach. The pain was sharp and quick before the adrenaline kicks in. I feel him twist the blade before coming close to my ear. "I told you I'd kill you next time I saw you." He yanks the blade out and I hear his footsteps as he runs off.

I could hear my heart pounding in my ears, my hands desperately clutch at the source of the bleeding as I stumble my way out of the alleyway. Much to my surprise, I see Georgia walking up the sidewalk with two cups of coffee in her hands however when she sees me, she quickly drops them just as I collapse to the floor.

—

It's funny how quickly your fight instincts kick in when you're on the verge of death. The way your heart beats a thousand times faster, hoping to pump enough blood in you to keep you alive. The way your breath becomes labored and it feels like water's filling your lungs, almost as if you're drowning.

The pain is the worst once the adrenaline wears off, so much so that it has you begging for morphine at three in the morning. I don't remember much else of that day, my mind kept going back to that basement.

That stupid fucking basement.

I thought I knew what it felt like to die, isn't that what I desperately wanted? But now I've had a taste of death, maybe it's not so bad.

And for those wondering what happens at the end? Nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing. There is no light, there is no God, only the deafening sound of silence and the blinding sight of darkness—

"What do you think you're doing?" I feel my journal being snatched away from my grasp. When I look up, my mother comes towards me with a styrofoam cup in her hand. "Here, Doctor said you needed to drink your electrolytes."

"For fucks sake, I already said I didn't want them." I turn away as she was trying to force it down my throat like a fucking child. She huffs in annoyance but doesn't say anything and sets the cup down.

"The police came by again while you were sleeping, I didn't want to wake you. I told them to come back tomorrow." She sits beside me on the chair and reaches her hand to grab my arm.

"You can tell them it was just a robbery gone wrong. The guy wanted money and I don't carry cash." I say but she furrows her eyebrows.

"People don't go stabbing people for not having cash, Harry."

"Could've fooled me."

"Maybe you crossed paths with someone from Dervy, you know those boys that used to pick on every kid from the neighborhood—"

"Jesus, no!" I say, fed up with the questioning. "It was nothing, I told you what happened."

"And you didn't see their face? A tattoo or a scar, maybe?"

I could never forget that voice and that age wasted face. "No." I lie. Before she gets the chance to question me some more, my father walks in, hands in his pockets.

"There's someone here who'd like to see you." He says and my thoughts immediately go to Beau. I almost pictured her walking in the door but that would be too kind of life to do for me.

Georgia walks in just as my parents walk out. She held two cups of coffee as she stood by the doorway, a look of relief on her face as we lock eyes. "Thank God you're okay." She almost sighs in relief as she comes at my side and takes the chair beside the bed. She sets both coffees down on the table and grabs my hand with both of hers. "I wanted to come the first day but they wouldn't allow visitors."

"First day?" I question. "How long have I been here?"

"They warned me not to say as to not upset you." She licks her lips. "But what matters is that you're okay."

"I'm fine, you didn't have to come here." I say as I take my hand away. She notices this but doesn't say anything.

"I know, I just felt so guilty." Of course she's here out of pity. "That day after you left I tried to catch up to you but by the time I did, you were stumbling out of the alley. You really scared me."

"Did the police talk to you too?"

She nods. "I already gave my statement."

"What did you tell them?"

She shrugs. "I told them what I saw. I noticed someone in a grey hoodie run out of the alley, I just dismissed it as some homeless person. It could've been, you know? Maybe it was just someone who went in there, got scared and ran."

"Maybe." I say before silence falls upon us. I wasn't doing this to protect him, I wanted to get out of here and find him myself. I couldn't start fresh if I knew he was still out there, lurking in the shadows of some dirty alleyway. He's probably so pleased with himself, thinking he's killed me.

"Liv and Corey feel guilty, you know? They wanted to come but visitation is limited."

"Why are you even here?" I turn to her. "I don't need pity."

Georgia looks taken aback. "It's not about pity, Harry. I really did want to see you. I wasn't so happy with the way things ended back at the restaurant, I didn't mean to come off that way."

"Well then I think you underestimated yourself." I say as I sit up, wincing as a sharp pain shoots through my abdomen.

"Don't get me wrong, you're still an asshole. And yeah, maybe I shouldn't have gone in there with expectations the first time I saw you three months ago. Who was I kidding, of course you wouldn't be the same person. It's just—" she stops herself.

"What?"

"I saw the way you treated your girlfriend. That's when I realized you were so different, you acted like she didn't matter right in front of us."

"That was a mistake," I say. "Still doesn't give you the right to form an opinion."

"You don't have to be so arrogant, I'm trying to explain myself." She chides and I sit back. "What I'm saying is, I would like the opportunity to get to know each other again."

I shake my head. "I think you might be taking advantage of my condition a bit here." I say and she suppresses a laugh. "I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Harry," She places her hand back on my arm but this time, I don't move it. "What are you so afraid of?"