B.

"...Marry me." I would've assumed I imagined that sentence. If only it wasn't for his chest vibrations on my back when he spoke. When I turn to look at him, my back is pressed to the balcony rail now. And I realize we probably shouldn't be out here, especially with Harry being high on weed.

Although when I momentarily look inside, Elija is doing two lines of coke on the coffee table. When I look at Harry, really look at him up close the green was now dominated by his black pupils with only a sliver of green color left in them.

That and the way he kept sniffing and scrunching his nose every other minute led me to believe that he more than likely has done it too. "What did you say?" I ask. I had heard him, I just wanted him to hear himself actually saying this.

"I don't wanna lose you, Beau." Harry says, his hand goes to remove stray hair that flew to my face due to the wind. "And if that means that I have to marry you, then I will."

I look down. I could very easily say yes to this, ignore the fact that he's completely out of his mind, with his body full of cocaine and just say fuck it. Shit, the weed has already started to affect me. I've been so stressed lately, with work, Luke and that scare I had from Tom's phone call earlier about my mother breaking her arm.

Things could be easy with Harry, things are simple and I forget all about my worries when I'm with him. He makes me feel better about myself and to be completely honest, I'm so tired of looking. I will be thirty soon, time is creeping up on me so fast in the blink of an eye that I feel as though I should do this now.

"Beau?" Harry speaks, dragging me out of my thoughts. I know we might regret this in the morning, but is it so wrong of me to want to be humored? "Shit, did I freak you out? I'm sorry, I—"

"Ask me again." I interrupt him from panicking, he looks back at me, eyebrows scrunched. "If you want to, ask me again."

I watch as he takes a shaky breath, gulps and licks his lips. He was nervous or maybe completely shitting himself, maybe he didn't expect for me to say yes. Harry looks down at his hands and removes the gold band from his pinky finger. He grabs my hand and hesitates.

If we wish to forget about it in the morning, we will. But right now, we are both two sad souls, wanting to belong, to be wanted, to be needed, to be equally loved and accepted for who we are.

"I reckon this isn't how you expected to be asked," Harry says, his extremely dilated eyes looking back at me. "Or maybe you didn't expect it at all, I know I didn't." He's stalling. This is wrong, I know it and I'm sure Harry does too but neither of us dare to put an end to this. He takes in a deep breath. "Will you marry me?"

We are so high.

I nod, allowing myself to feel happy this once and man does it feel good. I haven't been happy for the longest time. I owe it to myself at least this once. Harry smiles at me though his dimples don't show and I watch as he slides on his ring on my finger.

A perfect fit.

Once the ring is on, Harry brings me in for a tight embrace and kisses my forehead. "I love you," He mumbles, not breaking the embrace and I hug him back tightly, almost as if I'd lose him. "So much."

I don't say anything and I allow myself to get warm in his embrace. That is soon over when Elija comes back outside. "I've ordered pizza!" He grins and waves us in. Just as we were about to go back in, Harry stops and grabs my hand.

"Just—my brother. I can't leave him. Ever." Harry states, almost as if he's already preparing me, letting me know what his baggage is.

I walk close again and wrap my arms around his neck, he seemed tense. "I'm not asking you to," I say with a soft smile. "We're just going to have to deal with him." At this, Harry smiles almost relieved. He stops me again.

"Don't say anything to him, okay? Let's save it." I nod and bring him inside with me.

—

During pizza and a few beers, Harry seemed to come down his high after he decided to throw it up right next to us which also made Elija do the same. They were like in sync in the worst way. Harry seemed...unusual. Not like I've ever seen him before. He went outside on the balcony and has been sitting out there for the past hour while I cleaned.

As I'm washing up in the kitchen, Elija comes around, beer in hand. He leans on the counter beside where I am finishing doing the dishes. "Nice ring." He comments and I look to him before looking down to my hand.

"Thanks." I shrug it off.

"You've made a big mistake, my friend." He says, drinking from his beer. I look at him again and raise an eyebrow.

"What are you talking about?" I knew exactly what he meant, but Harry asked me not to tell him. So I played dumb.

He rolls his eyes and leaves the side of his head on his shoulder as if saying 'really?' "I might've been high, but I'm attentive. You think I don't know what you two were talking about out there?" I place my hand on my hip, challenging him. "Tell me, what speech did he use this time?"

"I seriously don't know what you're talking about, Elija." I try to push past him but he gets in the way.

"He asked you to marry him, didn't he?" He asks and when I don't say anything, he smirks. "Classic Harry."

"I think you snorted a little too much."

"Let me guess, he told you about Hailey and how Joseph and mother forced him into it as a stunt?" I look up at him.

"That was private."

Elija laughs at this. "Oh come on, Beau. I mean, I can't say I feel for you. I did try to tell you once before."

"Harry is incapable of dating someone. Whatever feelings he may think he has is nothing but pure obsession."

"Harry is impulsive, he has far more problems than just depression. This is just what he does. That thing with Hailey? Our parents didn't force him into shit. He had been fucking her for a long time before he decided that she was his only shot at happiness so he asked her to marry him. Once he realized what he did, he started to pull away and we all know how that ended." Elija smirks. "She's still looking for him, last I checked."

"Why?"

Elija shrugs. "She found out he has tapes of them two having sex." He says as he finishes off his beer. "Like I said, typical Harry. This is not new shit, he's been doing this for years."

"What does he use those tapes for?" I ask, remembering the tape of me, Nes and Colson.

"Blackmail," Elija says nonchalant. "To avoid the girls from talking about their kinky sex life. It's like his own type of fucked up NDA." When I stay silent, Elija snorts. "He's got one of you, doesn't he?" I look away. "Why do you think he has that same group of friends around him? They all get together and do fucked up shit. I don't think you really know Harry as much as you think you do."

People have always been trying to get in the way of Harry and I, especially Nes and Colson. "What if you're wrong?" I say, Elija looks amused. "You seem to only want Harry to yourself because you're the only person who he doesn't say no to."

He snorts. "Are you saying I'm jealous?"

I shrug. "Why else have you been trying to get rid of me? Telling me these kinds of things just to drive me away?"

"I'm not jealous, because at the end of the day, Harry is my brother." He begins to walk away. "Family sticks together, and you just don't fit in that narrative." I ignore him and go for a water bottle to try and cool myself down before I join Harry outside, the night was cold and I could see his breath yet he was shirtless, sitting on that same spot.

"Hey," I come around, my hand presses against his skin and he is freezing. "Come inside, it's cold." He doesn't answer, all he does is look over the glass rails to the street down below. After a while, I am finally able to get him up from the chair and take him inside to the bedroom.

Elija had left, to where? I don't know nor did I care. All he has done is annoy both Harry and I and to be honest, I'm glad he isn't here. It was currently two in the morning, after Harry threw up a few hours ago I ran him a bath and had him brush his teeth. All I had to do now was get him to bed.

He said nothing throughout this. He laid effortlessly on his side, he seemed...sick. And not sick as in the common cold but it looked like he wasn't feeling okay in his head.

"Harry is impulsive, he has far more problems than just depression."

"Can I get you anything?" I ask him but all he does is shake his head 'no' and cuddle up to his pillow. I go over to the other side of the bed and lay down, trying my best to sleep. But I can't because Elija's words kept roaming about in my head.

After a while, I take my phone out and begin to text Darien.

BEAU
Hey, sorry I know it's late but quick question. You remember that time you were with Nes and that blonde woman and Harry and I ran into you? What was her name again?

I bite my nails as I await for her answer. I end up waiting for about ten minutes, half asleep and half awake when my phone dings with a text message.

DARIEN
Girl, you totally left in a hurry today I wanted to invite you out to dinner :(

DARIEN
and Hailey Benson...why?

BEAU
Sorry, my mom had a minor accident with some Christmas lights. Do you think we can invite her to dinner? I would like to ask some questions about Harry.

DARIEN
Did he do something to you?

That's a weird thing to ask, I thought.

BEAU
No, I just want to know where this thing might take me. See you tomorrow? Dinner?

DARIEN
Of course!! I'll let her know. <3

I turn my phone off and look towards Harry who was still sound asleep, in the fetal position, almost hugging himself. I softly get under the covers and wrap my arm around his waist.

I really hope what Elija said isn't true.