A/n: Reading over this chapter I realized that it's just really bad. Sorry in advance

**

"What the hell was that?" Bucky said, stumbling back until his back hit the wall.

Steve was staring at him with wide eyes full of regret, and Bucky just didn't know what the hell was going on anymore. It was as if someone had proof unicorns existed, and Bucky wanted to believe it was true, but it was something that was too good and he wanted it too bad for it to ever be real. If Steve wasn't staring at him so intently Bucky would've pinched himself to see if he was dreaming.

"Oh Bucky. I'm so sorry," Steve said once he finally found his voice. He was stepping towards Bucky again, and Bucky had to hold his hands up to stop him.

"No. Stop. You can't just do that!" There was a quiver in his voice.

"But I thought–"

"You can't just ignore me like that for a whole month and then just kiss me!"

"I really am sorry. I don't know what came over me."

Right. Bucky was already preparing himself for a story that would 'explain everything'. In his own mind he thought that that surely it was all just a mistake, heat of the moment sort of thing. There was no way Steve actually meant it. No way.

"Do you. . .you like me?" Bucky asked anyway, because he didn't want to do any tiptoeing anymore. He just wanted answers, and he wanted the truth.

"Yes! And I though you knew!"

"Then let's both just—" Bucky stopped mid-sentence, his mind just registering what Steve had said.

This must all be some cruel joke. Steve must've found out about Bucky's feelings and was rubbing salt into the wound. Steve never gave any indication that he liked Bucky, but he certainly gave some that proved otherwise. Peggy was still in the picture, though at this point Bucky wasn't sure if she was the background or the foreground.

Bucky didn't understand why his semi-organized life had to just turn into one giant clusterfuck.

"What if you're lying?" Bucky said, his voice so small that he hardly even heard it himself.

Steve sighed. "Would I have kissed you if I was?" No response. "Like I said, I thought you knew. But I am sorry for kissing you. I shouldn't have done that."

Bucky ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "How was I supposed to know? We weren't talking for a month!"

"That's why I've been avoiding you," Steve said. "I can't be your friend when I wanted to be so much more. Not when I knew you'd never feel the same."

Bucky laughed humourlessly.

"So you're telling me— Steve, I've liked you for a long time. But this can't work." Bucky did believe Steve, but the whole situation was just ridiculous. He wasn't sure how long Steve liked him for, but clearly for at least a month and probably longer, they had liked each other and had never known it. If one of them had just said something, this whole thing could have been avoided and Bucky wouldn't have to be so pissed off at Steve.

But there was still one huge problem.

"Why not?" Steve asked, and Bucky didn't get how he was missing it.

"Uh, Peggy!" Bucky exclaimed. "Didn't you, like, just cheat on her?"

"Uh, Bucky, Peggy and I—"

"I don't want to hear it," Bucky interrupted. He figured it was about time he stopped putting up with Steve's bullshit. "I'm not hurting her."

"We aren't—"

"Steve, please. Just stop."

"I can explain."

Bucky was already halfway out the door.

"No. What I think you need to do it sort things out with her," Bucky said.

"But—"

"Bye, Steve."

And then he was all the way out the door, shutting it behind him. He expected Steve to go go after him, and he stared at the door for a minute before finally turning away. Either Steve didn't care enough to go after Bucky, or he was obeying Bucky's wishes by staying away, but Steve didn't go after him.

On the drive home Bucky's head was filled with just as many thoughts as the drive there, but this time they were all very different.

While he worried about his sister on the way there, it seemed like now he had just completely forgotten about her. Instead, the only thing he could picture were Steve's baby blue eyes and the feeling of Steve's lips against his. It was hard to ignore when Bucky's lips still tingled and he desired more.

His feelings for Steve were like water in the way that they had a mind of their own. Bucky had tried many times to shape and change them, but as if he were ice, he melted every time and there was nothing he could do about it.

Looking at Steve, that water cascaded down his hands, because now no matter what there was no way their friendship could be just that: a friendship.

Bucky just wanted so badly to hate Steve.

It was nearly eight by the time Bucky got home, and if his parents were expecting him to be cheerful and excited, it certainly wasn't what they got. Bucky hardly even looked at them as he stalked off to his room, slamming the door behind him. Maybe the Barnes's had already dealt with one too many moody children, because they never went to see what was wrong. Bucky was glad for this, because he could never explain it to them.

Bucky figured that his parents had ideas of their own, but he was sure none of them pertained to a kiss.

He laid in his bed until the late hours of the night, never getting up to brush his teeth or change, sleeping fully clothed. At one point in the night, Rebecca stepped into his room, got comfortable in his bed, and pulled the covers around herself.

Bucky was awake, and it was in this very moment that he realized he wasn't the only one with problems. Maybe Rebecca's were only getting drunk at a party and smashing her ex-best friend's brother's car — not that that was a very simple problem — but he always suspected it was more. His sister had been off for a while, but he could never put his finger on what it was.

When Bucky awoke in the morning, Rebecca was gone.

**

When Monday came rolling around the corner Bucky wasn't prepared at all to go to school.

He knew that he'd be forced to face Steve, and he really didn't know what he could possibly say to him. Bucky would also have to face Peggy, and even though he knew that Steve probably wouldn't have told Peggy, the feeling of guilt was worse than any reaction that Peggy could possibly have.

Bucky was tempted to tell Peggy himself, but sabotaging her relationship wasn't exactly his intent. He just hoped that Steve had a better way of going about the whole thing. Something that didn't involve leading her on any further.

Even though Bucky and Peggy has begun to drift apart, though not nearly as much as him and Steve, Bucky did not want to hurt her in any way. He felt as if this whole thing was his fault. He did kiss Steve back. And he liked it.

And he wanted to do it again.

The guilt hit him like a knife through the heart when he saw Peggy and Steve laughing together. They were sitting at one of the benches in front of the school, and Bucky was at another by himself. Steve caught his eye for a brief moment and immediately froze, his mouth hanging open and laugh suspended in the air. Peggy followed his gaze and she stopped laughing as well.

Bucky's heart started to race, and he was worried that Steve had spun his own story about how the kiss went, and maybe he blamed everything on Bucky. But then Peggy rested her hand on Steve's shoulder in a comforting gesture, which just wasn't the reaction that Bucky expected.

Nothing made sense, and instead of getting answers from going to Steve's house the previous night, he just ended up with more questions. Questions, it seems, that were still multiplying and never stopped.

Peggy did not look mad at Bucky at all, though she did seem to feel bad for Steve. Whatever this was clearly had to do with Bucky, though Bucky had no idea what Steve had told her and what she had figured out on her own.

Bucky was saved when the bell rang, though he had the feeling that the rest of the day would go much the same.

He headed off to his first period class, then his second, and once it was once lunch it was obvious that Steve was still playing the same game. He was avoiding Bucky at all costs.

At least at this point all their friends had grown to expect it and were questioning it less.  Although today Bucky was increasingly miserable, something that he wasn't hiding very well.

"What wrong?" Pietro asked Bucky after chasing after him when he said that he was just going to the washroom.

Bucky stopped and turned to Pietro, knowing that there was no way he could escape the track star. Pietro had this knowing look on his face that wasn't really knowing at all, because there was no way he could know what was going on.

"Nothing," Bucky said in a cheerful tone that sounded false to his own ears.

"You're a terrible liar," Pietro said. "Did you and Steve get into another fight?"

He said it as if they were already dating, and this was some sort of lovers tiff. They were both surely acting as if they had a thing for each other at this point, but they certainly weren't dating.

"We never had a fight in the first place," Bucky said, which wasn't exactly wrong.

"You two are both so stubborn." Pietro shook his head.

"What do you mean?"

"It's obvious that you like each other."

Why did everyone seem to want to talk about relationships that were none of their damn business? And everyone seemed to be especially interested in theirs just because they were two boys.

Bucky didn't miss the rumours that were starting to spread rapidly, ones he had just heard that day that he was sure started just that morning.

"You're miles off," Bucky said to Pietro. "Steve always has Peggy hanging off his shoulder."

Pietro's smirk turned into a look of confusion. "Yeah, but you know that doesn't mean anything."

"What are you talking about? They're dating!"

"You're kidding, right? Have you been living under a rock?"

"What the hell do you mean?"

"Peggy and Steve aren't dating anymore. It was all fake."