December was as eventful as any December can be. The first few weeks everyone bubbled with excitement, their faces always jovial. Christmas music became a staple, and the coldness of outside only seemed to lift everyone's spirits.

Bucky couldn't exactly say the same for himself.

It wasn't as if his life had suddenly just turned to shit, but it wasn't all Christmas carols and spirit either.

For starters, there was a rumour going around that Steve and Peggy had sex. Why it had caught the attention of so many, Bucky couldn't say. But being a little hypocritical, it had caught Bucky's attention too. Steve would neither deny or confirm the accusations.

"So did you?" Bucky asked one day while they were paired off to do a drama skit, again. Okay, maybe since they had talking to each other they always found themselves either partners or in the same group. For some reason.

"Did I what?" Steve asked. He was trying to sound clueless, but from the gleam in his eyes Bucky knew that Steve was just playing dumb. He knew exactly what Bucky was talking about.

"You know."

Steve arched a brow.

"Did you have sex with Peggy?" Bucky may have asked louder than intended, because he got odd looks from a few people in the class.

"No," Steve said after a long pause. For a moment, Bucky was worried that Steve could literally see the relief rolling off his shoulders in waves. "That was just some dumb rumour that Tony made up."

Frustration welled in the pit of Bucky's stomach. "Then why don't you tell everyone that?"

"Honestly? I don't care what they think."

Bucky sort of wanted to slap him. He didn't understand why Steve wasn't bothered in the slightest by all the murmurings in the hall and the looks he got. They weren't necessarily disgusted looks, but it was still more attention than Bucky himself ever would have wanted to receive.

They were forced to get back to their work after their teacher started to circle around the room, checking on where everyone was with their skits Bucky wasn't about to complain. Even though he had brought it up, he was glad to have an excuse to stop talking about Steve's relationship.

The rumours of Peggy and Steve weren't the only thing that had gotten everyone's attention.

First, it was Pepper and Tony breaking up. That was just one huge mess because they were part of the same friend group and neither was willing to leave it, so they had to endure sitting at the same table and occasionally making small talk. Bucky wasn't even associated with the two, yet he could see how awkward it was regardless.

And then, Stacy, the school's biggest gossip, had said that she had seen Bruce and Tony making out under the school bleachers. Did she really have to witness everything?

For the next few days, Bucky carefully watched Bruce and Tony to see if he could figure it out himself. It was difficult, though. They avoided each other as if either had the plague, and any talk of the two was immediately shut down.

Bucky had asked Peggy, once, if she knew the truth. She had said, "Bruce won't say anything. But he's clearly really bothered, and we shouldn't be talking about it."

And because Bucky liked Bruce, he obeyed her wishes. But it didn't make his curiosity go away. He figured there were two possible scenarios. The rumours could've been bothering Bruce because they weren't true, and because Bruce and Tony really did used to date. There were a multitude of reasons why this could bother Bruce. And then, of course, the rumours could have been true.

Bucky thought that maybe Pepper was so angry at Tony because he had cheated on her, but he wasn't so sure, Bruce didn't seem like the sort of person to let that happen, but Bucky had been wrong about people before. Like Steve, for example.

And Steve. Good god.

It was easier to be around Steve now. Before, it was hard not to stare at Steve and think things that he shouldn't, things that his mother would probably murder him for. Bucky wasn't even sure what is was that had caused his emotions to be in check. Perhaps it was just being around Steve more that had done it. He didn't really think he liked Steve any less now, the feelings were just hurried deeper now. Maybe it was just some sort of instinctive thing, so that Steve would never find out.

And then all of that just went down the toilet when Bucky winded up seeing Steve shirtless.

It started out like this. . . It was just another day with Sarah and Steve over for dinner. It was Bucky's whole family and the theirs, and from the start it had been going poorly.

"Hey, Winifred, did you know that Ryan from work is gay?" George said. And it's just the way he said it, like it was the worst possible thing that could ever possibly happen to poor Ryan. Instantly, Bucky felt the level of awkwardness in the room increase. He was pretty sure that his father was the only homophobic person in the room.

"Yes dear, didn't you?" And Winifred, despite hating his comment, still loved her husband too much too immediately shut him down. Though Bucky knew as soon as he said something directly offensive, she'd be shutting him right up.

George's lip curled in disgust. Steve continued eating as if he couldn't hear what was going on. Sarah played with her napkin, and Rebecca just looked pissed.

"I didn't know," George said. "They keep popping up everywhere, waving their stupid rainbow flags. Where are they all coming from?"

I don't know, dad. Let me just go get one from my secret stash. And while I'm up there, I might as well dress up in my rainbow attire. It's all hidden in my closet.

"George," Winifred warned. Bucky didn't even know how George wasn't withering away under her glare. "We have guests over. No need to impose your views upon them."

"Come on, Wini. I'm sure Sarah is thinking the same thing."

"Actually," Sarah said, looking up from her napkin. "I don't think that."

And for some reason, her gaze drifted towards Steve. Steve still wasn't looking at everyone, but he stared down at his plate as if it was the most fascinating thing in the world. Bucky didn't understand what was happening. Steve was most certainly straight, something that he had made clear from the beginning.

"Well, I just think that these kids should know that it goes against nature," George said. "You can have your own view of things, but I still think that's it's not okay."

"It's my responsibility to teach my kids what I think is what's right and what's wrong, thank you very much," Sarah said. Bucky had always known Sarah to be quite reserved and quiet, but right then she looked absolutely livid.

"I do think that in today's day and age, we're poisoning these kids brains." And George just wouldn't shut up. Winifred kept trying to talk over him, but it didn't seem to matter. He just ignored her, which was so unlike him. Everyone listened to Winifred. "What is everyone going to do when suddenly the majority of the population is gay and there aren't enough fine, bright people to run this country? What about when everyone has aids and dies! You won't be thinking, 'oh, love is love' then, will you?"

There was a loud screech of a chair being pushed back, and Rebecca was on her feet. "Dad, shut up!"

"What, are you gay or something? Is that why everyone at this table is acting so strange?"

"I— no! Of course not!" There was tears in her eyes, though they seem to be out of anger. Then, and Bucky almost wanted to kill her for this, her eyes drifted over to him, and they didn't leave. And George didn't miss this.

"I knew it." And just the way he said it. The absolute hatred. Bucky just knew it, in that moment, that he had lost something huge. He couldn't even find the words to deny it. It seemed stupid to even try when the truth would come out eventually.

"George!" This was Winifred. "What are you doing? We have guests!"

"But honey—" and then his voice faltered. In just those few words, Winifred had finally won. "I'm sorry Sarah, I— I shouldn't have—"

"Don't worry about it." She was up on her feel now, too. Though when she got up she had somehow hit her leg against the leg of the table, causing the whole thing to shake and Steve's glass of orange juice to careen off the edge. It was all over his shirt, but he wasn't even paying attention. He was looking directly across the table at Bucky, a look on his face that Bucky couldn't decipher.

Sarah apologized and attempted to wipe it away with a napkin, but it didn't do much. Steve didn't look like he cared, though.

"I'm sure Bucky has a shirt that you can borrow, right?" Winifred said. "You can show him to your room?"

And Bucky quickly agreed, glad to have a reason to escape, even if it meant being in his room alone with Steve. Steve, on the other hand, didn't look too thrilled. Bucky had the feeling that Steve would be glad to get out of the place as quickly as possible, even covered in orange juice.

Panic suddenly shot through Bucky's veins – a cold, paralyzing fear. What if Steve didn't want to go with Bucky because he had figured his feelings out? Bucky had always found it hard to be discreet, and had just assumed that Steve thought he had feelings for Peggy. But if Steve now thought he was gay, he must've figured it out. Bucky didn't even know how he could explain it to him. There was no good way.

But unfortunately he was forced to head to his room, Steve trailing behind. Bucky, despite trying his hardest not to, looked back and didn't miss the look George sent him. It was like he expected Bucky and Steve were going in there to kiss, or worse. Bucky wanted to scream at him that he wasn't gay, but it would feel like a lie. He wasn't ready to explain to his father a sexuality that George didn't even think was valid. And if he did think it was valid, he still wouldn't agree with it.

They reach Bucky's room, and for a moment they just stand there, both unsure of what to say.

"Is it true?" Steve broke the silence.

Bucky didn't see why it should matter whether Steve knew the truth or not. George did, sort of, who was the last person that he ever wanted to tell. Now, the prospect of everyone else knowing seemed to pale in comparison. Even Steve, because Bucky knew that Steve didn't really care about Bucky's sexuality, in the end. Bucky would just have to explain to him that he didn't have feelings for either him nor Peggy, if it ever came to that.

Still, Bucky found himself unable to form the proper words.

"Because if you really are gay, I don't care," Steve said. "I am friends with Tony, after all."

"But Tony isn't gay," Bucky said, avoiding looking at Steve in the eyes. He didn't think he could handle staring st those pretty blue eyes of his. He felt so vulnerable already.

Steve shrugged. "I'm making this worse, aren't I?"

"No." Bucky took a deep breath. "And it is true, sort of. I'm bi."

"Oh." Steve nodded. "That's cool. I am act—" he abruptly stopped.

"Yeah?"

"I'm just here for you. If you ever need me."

"Okay."

Bucky actually hated the way people always seemed to react with someone coming out. I'm here for you. I support you. Even if they were completely okay with it, they always made it seem like being anything but straight was a bad thing. Not on purpose, but just like, because of who they were, they were going to need that support. And Bucky was just mad because sometimes it was true. George was a prime example of that. Every time he had something homophobic to say, Winifred was always there to shut him down.

"So. . ." Steve rocked back and forth on his heels. "A shirt?"

"Oh! Right!" Bucky had been sidetracked, lost in his own thoughts.

In his closet, he pulled out the first shirt he saw.It was just a plain grey one that would probably be too small for him. In fact, anything in Bucky's closet would probably be to small for him.

He turned around to toss it over to Steve, but was left with his mouth hanging open and a face redder than Natasha's hair. Steve stood there, now shirtless. Bucky had never seem him shirtless. He had always just assumed that his chest would be just as muscular as the rest of him, but that didn't mean it prepared him for what he was seeing.

Mr. captain-of-the-football-team looked like the statue of a Greek god, and Bucky found it impossible to look away. It seemed so cliche to compare it like that, but Bucky didn't really know any other way to describe Steve's abs.

Undoubtedly, his feelings for Steve were still a huge issue. Right then, they were so close to the surface; it was like they were just about to pour out of him, exposing everything that he had worked so hard to keep a secret.

Steve let out an awkward cough, drawing Bucky back to the moment. He met Steve's eyes, and was surprised to see that Steve was just about as red as him.

"Sorry," Steve said. "I should have warned you."

"It's fine. It's really no big deal." Bucky lied. He handed the shirt over to Steve, who quickly put it on.

But it was a big deal, because now Steve knew that Bucky was bi, and he had just caught him staring at his bare chest. How much worse could that day get?

" I should probably go," Steve said, but he didn't leave. His eyes wander Bucky's room, and Bucky can't help but feel like he's revealing some part of himself by Steve seeing it. It wasn't like was hiding anything.

But then Steve's eyes found the picture frame holding the picture Bucky had of Derek. And they stayed there, accompanied by a growing look of curiosity on Steve's face.

"Where is your brother?" Bucky felt his mouth go dry. "I never asked you. Did he stay in Russia?"

Oh, yes. That day definitely could get worse.

**

A/n: it's literally been half a year since I updated this. Whoops.

I planned for this chapter to be a Christmas party, but clearly that didn't happen, not will it ever. I actually hate writing party scenes. I just decided to skip this one because I'm writing one for New Year's Eve.

So what do you guys think of this chapter? George is an awful human being? Maybe. Yes. None of what happened in this chapter was supposed to happen, but ah well. I got a bit carried away.

Also I reread parts of this story because I literally forget everything that happens, and apparently I made Bucky work at Starbucks? For future reference, let's say he still does. It's a little unimportant to mention him going to work all the time anyway.

Oh, and one more thing. I've written like, at least 100 000 words of the shittiest novel and its sequel in first person in less than a year, so I apologize if I slipped into first person in this. I tried to make sure I didn't, but I might have still missed some because I haven't written in third person in forever.

Okay, that's all. Sorry for the lengthy author's note.