November came and went faster than Bucky could have ever accepted. It was characterized by a few major things, all of which he could hardly make sense of.

The first was his friendship with Steve. Bucky imagined their friendship was like a feather pillow torn apart. Feathers drifted away, carried far far away by the wind. One could try to find all the feathers, but some would forever be lost and the pillow could never be restored to what it once was. He thought this might have been from a book he read when he was a child, but he couldn't exactly remember.

It started when Winifred invited Sarah and Steve over for dinner despite Bucky openly expressing that he didn't want Steve to come to their house. It was an awkward two hours of forced conversation, at least on Bucky's part. Winifred and Sarah acted as though they had never left, hitting it off just like they used to. Albeit, Bucky had the feeling that the two had been frequently talking on the phone, and had probably seen each other face to face on multiple occasions.

Steve was friendly enough with trying to make small talk with Bucky, but it could only be because Sarah was right there and keeping a watchful eye. It was like the two women must have planned this, but why did they feel a friendship would benefit the boys so much? Regardless of what they felt, it was at first apparent that no steps toward friendship would carry at school as it did at home.

This, however was wrong.

With Steve already at their lunch table with Peggy this was actually fairly easy – he didn't even have to get up to talk to Bucky.

"We should be partners again in drama," Steve had said.

Bucky had to look around to make sure it was indeed him being spoken to. But it had to be him, because not only was Steve looking directly at him with those piercing blue eyes, but he was the only one at this table who was in Steve's drama class.

"Uh, yeah?" Bucky had said with a hint of uncertainness. He had almost wanted to ask why – they had only spoken to each other when forced to throughout the whole assignment – but he kept quiet.

Steve seemed to be struggling to find something else to say, and eventually he had settled for complimenting the cafeteria's garlic bread. It had gone on like this, Steve forcing himself to say something else to Bucky and Bucky giving him short replies.

After that awkward lunch Bucky thought that Steve would give up, but he didn't. It went on like that for the next few days, until Bucky finally got to the point where he could start the conversation. It became much easier talking to Steve and less forced and awkward. By December he could truthfully say they were friends. Winifred was ecstatic to hear this and insisted that they continue to invite the Rogers' over for dinner more often. If Winifred and Sarah did have some secret plan to get Steve and Bucky to be friends again, Bucky didn't want to admit it, but it appeared to have worked.

The second thing that happened was the change in his feelings for Steve. At first Bucky had thought that by talking to Steve more his feeling would grow stronger, but it proved to be the exact opposite.

Over the course of a few weeks he was able to get his feelings in check and under control. It wasn't that they had gone away, because they were definitely still there. It was more that Bucky could take a step back, accept that they were there, and live without them consuming him.

For a while he had liked to admit that his feelings were going away, but he was only lying to himself. There was this guilt before with liking Steve that was no longer there, which was part of how he could accept his feeling and live with them. While Steve hadn't treated Bucky horribly, ignoring him hadn't felt the greatest either. Bucky had been constantly questioning where his feelings came from, other then stemming from years of friendship. Now that they were finally talking to each other he no longer had to do that.

This new change in his feelings had given him this sense of freedom and the courage to finally come out to his sister, which was the third thing that happened in November.

Bucky decided it would be her first because he knew that she would be accepting. He was sure Winifred would be just as accepting, but by telling her he was risking the information being passed on to George. From previous comments made by George, Bucky was almost sure that by hearing of his son's sexuality he would not be happy.

He had hesitantly knocked on Rebecca's door and within a few seconds she was there. Bucky must have looked troubled, because immediately she had grabbed his arm, yanking him inside her room and shutting the door.

They had sat on either ends of her bed, facing each other.

Bucky didn't say anything for a long time, and neither did Rebecca. She would wait until he was ready, and he really liked that about her.

Bucky, after what felt like an hour but was probably only a few minutes, had said, "I have to tell you something."

"I gathered. I know you didn't get a girl pregnant, so what it it?" She had kept a straight face, something Bucky was sure he hadn't been doing.

He knew that she knew, and it was almost pointless to tell her, but he had to say it out loud.

Still, even as he had opened his mouth he felt as if the words wouldn't come out. They were glued to the inside of his throat, chocking him. This was his sister, the one who probably spent most of her free time reading gay fanfiction and constantly talking about Bucky potentially ("you obviously do," she'd say) liking Steve. This should've been easy, but it wasn't.

"I really don't want to rush you, but I do have an episode of Supernatural waiting for me," Rebecca had said, and Bucky was sure she was saying this more to lighten the mood than because she had actually wanted to watch Supernatural. Rebecca had all the time in the world. Her Supernatural could wait.

"Um." So it hadn't been much, but it was a step.

"Destiel is calling for me," she had said in a singsong voice.

And that was what had given Bucky the courage to finally say it.

"I think I'm bi," he had said, his voice so low he wondered if Rebecca had even heard him. "Well, I don't think. I know."

Rebecca had rolled her eyes. "That's all you have to say? At least tell me something I don't know."

Bucky then had almost had the urge to tell her he liked Steve, but at the last second he realized she'd probably say she knew that too, and kept quiet.

"So. . ." Bucky had said slowly. "That's it?"

"What do you mean that's it? What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know," he had said honestly. What was she supposed to say? What did he expect? Something cheesy, like I accept you and love you no matter what? They weren't that close.

"Did you tell mom and dad?" Rebecca had asked.

"No. I can't tell dad."

"Well, you don't have to yet, but he's going to figure it out eventually."

The idea had sent a shock of fear throughout Bucky. Bucky thought that at home, at least, he was doing a pretty good job at keeping his sexuality a secret. Then again, Rebecca obviously knew about it. He wouldn't be surprised if George did as well.

"I hate to say this," Rebecca had said, "but they were already talking about it. Mom and Dad. They suspect you're gay."

His heart was pounding in his chest. "Do they? But how. . ?"

"They observe how you and Steve act when he's over, and you're not real subtle. Neither he is, actually."

Bucky had to laugh at this. Steve definitely didn't also have a crush on him. There was no way. Besides, he had a girlfriend, which Bucky had said as much.

Rebecca had shrugged. "I dunno. Just saying it like I see it."

Bucky had to go into December knowing that sooner, or later his parents would bring this up, most likely George. It was a great way to start the most exciting month of the year.

All in all, he was at least relieved that he was starting to get everything out in the open, but for now it was just baby steps. Bucky made a promise to himself that he'd come out to his parents before the end of the year, which only gave him about a month left. However, if all went well, he'd be starting the new year feeling more relieved than ever.

Of course, there was still his feelings about Steve. Maybe he'd go into the new year without those, but that was doubtful.

**

A/n: so I actually updated? I know this is real shitty but at least it's something. I meant to go into more detail about Steve and Bucky's developing friendship, but with the amount of chapters I have planned (25) I won't have time.

I can't make promises for more chapters soon , if at all, but if I continue to write this updates will be very slow as I am currently writing something else that will most likely never be published.

Anyway, please continue to vote and comment! I'd love to hear what you think, and also don't be afraid to criticize or correct me on anything. It's been a while since I've written anything for this story, and I hardly remember what happened previously, so I bet there's about a million plot holes.

~ Naomi