Jisung sighed as he let the cup fill to its brim and over flow, pooling around the mug. His grief wasn't something he needed to conceal, well because everyone knew why he was as pale as the moon shining outside the open window. His fingers were chipped, his once beautiful eyes were dull and heavy with agony.

"Sung? You need to move on." Chan whispered softly, he's been hearing the same words for years. But no one would ever know how he felt for they weren't in his shoes, they could never be.

"I'm fine hyung." He lied, was he? No he wasn't the same as he was years ago. He knew it had been 16 years since Minho left him, 16 years of emptiness had left hollow spaces in his tired heart.

Chan sighed as he shook his head at Jeong-in, his husband as they left the house in silence again. The serenity weighed heavier than pain, Jisung was no long the Quokka they knew. Minho took the boy with him when he disappeared one night. The glass dropped from Jisung's arms as he stepped back falling into warm arms.

"Mom." Ah yes, his son. The only piece of Minho he had left in his dark world. Those arms hugged his shoulders tight as he let him hug him, Jisung stared into nothing, not realising his son carrying him to his room and tucking him in bed.

"Go away MinJun." His mother snaps as he stubbornly takes a seat beside the man who never seemed to love him.

"Mom please. I know you hate me but please stop being like this. Sad would never have wanted to see you like this, Mommy I love you despite all the times you've made me want to kill myself by pushing me away I just want my Mommy to be okay. I can't loose you." MinJun whispered his lips curling as he forced himself not to cry. Jisung stared up at his son, the spitting image of Minho sat before him with tears framing those feline features.

He loved his son, the reason he pushed away was the fear of loosing him the way he lost his father because of his own stupid decisions. The fear of the young boy hating his mother dragged poor Jisung's to hell and now he felt guilty for being the reason Minho's only rememberance wanted to end his life.

"W-We fought. It was a terrible night that day, I was pregnant and your father was called for an emergency surgery at half past 10. I told to not go out because I was afraid, we were already having issues for a while since a nurse wouldn't let him be and I was jealous.

"Baby stop throwing a fit without no apparent reason! Lily is an immature girl who is in love with Chan and not me." Minho had grabbed his doctor coat that stethoscope, he wore his glasses as he tried to get everything needed.

"We both know we are talking about Lia and not lily! Why won't you just stay away from her it's obvious she loves you. She's lying!" Jisung screamed at the older male with tears pouring down his lovely eyes.

"Han my baby boy. She's gay as a rainbow so please don't misunderstand something that isn't there to be misunderstood. I fucking love you, this is why I refused to date or marry my student!" Now that hurt Jisung, yes they only had like a few years of an age gap. A three years gap but Minho was a senior and already a flourishing doctor at age with his brains. "I'm sorry love I didn't mean to hurt you but you need to understand that you're all I'll ever need. Please don't thinking shit." He caressed Jisung's damp cheeks fondly.

"She's everywhere. The second the surgery is over I want you here. If you don't I'll hurt myself." Jisung had always pulled that card with Minho, at one point he didn't hurt himself by slitting his wrists, that's when they found out he was pregnant. The older sighed, the younger had always been a little depressed with lack of affection and love since he was left at the door way of an orphanage the moment he was born. He didn't blame him for he tried everything he can to not loose the only man he's ever loved.

"I promise Honey. I'll be in your arms in no time." Minho kissed Jisung as deep as he can and left.

The sad part of the story was when Minho came home that night, instead he came back in a coffin. That night Jisung had dozed off waiting for his husband when a very distressed Felix called him speaking between sobs and mumblings.

"M-Minho hyung met with an accident Sungie. He was taken to the Intense care Unit, he looks aweful."

Jisung got there as soon as he could, it was an awful weather but he made it to the hospital. He was rushed inside by Felix who had red eyes and a swollen nose, he was a sensitive boy with a universe full of love for others. The brunettes eyes barely made out the frame of Minho, ghastly with puddles of blood and open wounds.

"L-Let him i-in." Minho murmured softly at Hyunjin who had been inside with him.

That was the last time Jisung had ever seen Minho, he had held his small arm tightly inside his equally small one, he had it placed on the baby bump, he was in pain, their eyes met lingering for questions and answers sadly no one had the courage to speak.

"I-I wanted to g-get home soon. I'm sorry baby." He smiled, "You look.......Crazy gorgeous right now I just realized something." He managed a chuckle out of his pale purplish lips.

"W-What?" Jisung choked on a sob, he was afraid he couldn't look anymore.

"I fell in love with you again. I love Lee Jisung. Hey look at me." Minho tugged the boys arm making him stare back at him.

Just like that Minho died staring into Jisung's eyes with a smile plastered on his flawless yet bloody face. His arm slipped off of his wife's warm ones, those lifeless finger tips brushing ever so slightly over his future son's humble warm home as he was pronounced dead at 3:55am on Thursday morning.

"It was all my fault your father died, everytime I looked at you I remember him and I was afraid that someday you'll blame me for his death because I was the reason you never got to meet him. I was jealous and my jealous made me pay a price I could never forget. If only I wasn't selfish and stupid." Jisung wept into his arms as his son just hugged him tightly, his arm gently patting his mother's shoulder.

"It wasn't your fault Mom, it was an accident. Yeah I didn't meet Dad but..........I bet he was an amazing man who loved his wife no matter what. They say there are five stages of grief, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. You've denied Dad's death, you've jumped from the hospital building three months after I was born when you had to take me for a vaccine, because you were angry with yourself, you bargained with life and you've thrown yourself into the pit of depression again but Mom, it's been sixteen years. I bet Dad would have never wanted you to be like this, I want my Mom to be as how Minho knew him. Please. Bring back my mother to me." MinJun whispered hugging his mother as tightly as he could.

"Its time you accepted that, Dad is in heaven but he left me a very big part of himself inorder to take care of his most treasured possession. Hmm?" He concluded.

6 Months later......

Jisung placed white roses on Minho's grave as he sat with a smile on his face. He had been doing great after he had spoken to his son, it was hard to pretend like he didn't miss Minho but he wanted to make his man proud. He finally understood, the last stage of grief was acceptance. True it hurt like a bitch, then again it taught him to move forward in life yet his heart had been left with his husband.

"I love you Minho. I'll see you tomorrow." He smiled standing up as he left the graveyard, he would come again tomorrow. He would each day without fail, the wind would gush and his fluffy hair, dew drops would kiss his cheeks and show him he was listening.