14: It's a shame that we're not soulmates (but if I didn't know better, I'd say this feels pretty good)

Pairing: Akira/Yusuke

Summary: Even though he knew better, Yusuke was just afraid of losing him. Not just because Akira was his friend and leader. Yusuke didn't love him, but Akira wasn't just an ordinary friend to him. He was something more. Something Yusuke wasn't quite sure of.

Notes: title is from the flatsound song, i exist i exist i exist. Agh, I love flatsound ♡

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Akira's 'suicide' was broadcasted on TV, and although Yusuke knew it meant their plan worked, he still found himself worrying to no end, hoping Akira was really alive and safe. He spent the days in his dorm alone when Akira was gone, and the entire time he just found himself staring at the wall, not doing anything. Not eating, hardly sleeping… nothing.

Even though he knew better, Yusuke was just afraid of losing him. Not just because Akira was his friend and leader.

Yusuke didn't love him, but Akira wasn't just an ordinary friend to him. He was something more. Something Yusuke wasn't quite sure of.

And so Yusuke sat in his room brooding, until Akira finally came home.

And it wasn't until Akira finally came home (somewhat) safe, that Yusuke finally felt a little better, however just looking at the bruises and knowing that they forced drugs into him made him upset all over again. But the others were just as upset as well– Akira was their leader, of course they were going to be.

They had all been at Leblanc for a while, but then it started to get late, and they all began to head home. Yusuke lingered there longer than he should have, but he just wasn't ready to leave.

But Sojiro was, and so was Futaba, and they had to lock up the cafe. Yusuke reluctantly stood up, grabbing the bag he had with him.

"I guess… I should probably get going…" He said, sighing out– he didn't want to leave Akira alone. "I'll see you, Akira…"

And he left, but only because he had to.

And then next day he came back. He spent the entire day there, and when he had to leave, he reluctantly left.

And the next day was the same.

He walked slowly to the train station that night, his mind somewhere else. When he finally got there, he suddenly realized he missed his train.

He swore under his breath and quickly pulled out his phone, texting Akira and hoping he hadn't gone to sleep just yet.

'Can I come back to Leblanc for the night? I seemed to have let my thoughts wander and missed my train.'

After about a minute, there was an answer.

'Of course.'

Yusuke quickly made his way back through the backstreets and to Leblanc. Akira had unlocked the door already, so Yusuke just went right in.

Akira sat at the counter, reading a book, while Morgana lazily ate something off of a plate. "Would you mind locking the door behind you?" Akira asked, briefly glancing at Yusuke.

"Of course," Yusuke murmured softly, doing so before he sat down beside his leader. "Thank you for letting me come back."

"You're always welcome," Akira replied, still staring at the pages, but Yusuke could tell his mind was elsewhere.

Yusuke studied the bruises on Akira's face again, balling his hands into fists, forcing himself to look away after a moment.

Akira looked over at him now, closing the book. "What's bothering you? Since I've been back you've seen tense and upset. Did I do something?"

Yusuke was honestly shocked. "No, no, of course not. Never. No, I just can't believe how much you went through for us because of Akechi. I don't think I could ever make up for it, no matter how hard I'd try. It just makes me feel terrible. I wish you would have never had to go through that."

"Hey, don't feel bad, okay? I did it so no one else would have to get hurt, because I wanted to protect you all. It's my job as your leader."

"You could have died. It's not your job to get yourself killed. Part of me was worried that you did die, then the other part knew you were okay."

"I'd never go down that easy, don't worry. The other part of you was right."

"Yeah," Morgana chimed in. "It's because I made him into a tough boy. Thank me later."

Akira found himself chuckling, a smile on his face, but even so, Yusuke still wasn't in a great mood.

"I'm just thankful that you came back to…" Yusuke swallowed, the word 'me' wanting to come out of his mouth,  "…Us… We'd have been very devastated if you had died. I don't know what I would have done if…" '…If I lost you,' he wanted to say.

"I understand. I'm sorry that I worried you."

Yusuke shook his head. "I suppose it doesn't matter now. You're safe…" He looked over at Akira, gingerly reaching over and cupping his cheek, running his thumb over a bruise. "Do they hurt?"

Akira gave a small nod. "A little, but eventually they'll fade and it'll be fine." He pushed his glasses back into place, closing his eyes lightly and placing his hand over Yusuke's cold one.

"Are you okay? Mentally and emotionally?"

Akira didn't do anything for a moment, but then he nodded again. "I think so. I'm sure I'll be fine."

Yusuke went to take his hand away, but Akira intertwined their fingers together. The artist felt his face heat up, and Akira smiled at him.

A moment passed, and Yusuke wondered if Akira could hear his heartbeat as it pounded heavily and quickly.

"T- That's good… I just… you know, I never want to lose you…"

"Yusuke…"

The aforementioned found that his mind was devoid of anything other than what was happening right now, as he quickly leaned forward and pressed his and Akira's lips together.

Morgana choked on his food when he saw them. "H- Hey! What's this all of a sudden?! Did you forget I was even here?!"

Yusuke pulled back, his face bright red. "I- I apologize… that was…" He couldn't get the words out to form a proper sentence, breathing heavily.

And honestly, he wasn't sorry at all. Not one bit.

"No," Akira breathed out, his breathing ragged, "It's okay." He smiled, and quickly pulled Yusuke in to kiss him again.

Morgana made a noise of disgust. "Ugh, gross, guys. Come on! I'm standing right here! If you're going to do that then take it somewhere else. I don't want to see or hear it."

Once again, it was Yusuke who pulled back. "We should probably listen to him."

Akira nodded, standing up. "I'm sorry, Morgana."

"If you were human and someone said that to you and Ann, you wouldn't listen."

If a cat could blush, Morgana would definitely be blushing. "L- Lady Ann…" He murmured, and then sighed. "If only I were human…"

Akira then quickly pulled Yusuke up to the attic, kissing him again before they really got up there.

Yusuke moved Akira to his futon, sitting down with him and breaking the kiss, only to kiss every bruise on Akira's face.

"Even like this, covered in all these bruises," Yusuke murmured in between each kiss that he left on Akira's face, "You're still so beautiful."

"Yusuke…" Akira whispered, and Yusuke hugged him.

"I just… I was so worried about you, I…"

Akira gently pushed him back to look at him. "I'm okay now, I promise. I'm safe."

Yusuke nodded, kissing him lightly on the lips for a moment. "Akira, I think… that there's a strong possibility that… that I…" Yusuke sighed, trying to word it right, "Akira… I really like you…"

"Just a strong possibility?" Akira teased, however, he was taken aback – he hadn't expected Yusuke to say anything like that. "It's not a definite 'I really like you'?"

"I'm sure it is…" Yusuke whispered, pink dusting his cheeks again. "I like you, and right now, I may end up doing things to you that friends normally don't want to do with each other…" Another sigh left his lips, and Akira blushed. "Akira, you just mean so much to me."

Akira's response was another kiss. "I feel the same," he replied when they broke apart again. "I like you, and I don't want to be just your leader."

"You're more than just a leader to me."

"I don't want to be friends right now either."

Yusuke smiled. "Then let's be more," he said softly, kissing Akira's neck.

"But you see…" Akira began again, placing a hand on Yusuke's shoulder and giving it a squeeze, "I don't want this to just be a fling, but I don't know if I want a relationship right now. We have so much to take care of and I don't think this is the right time for a relationship."

Yusuke pulled back, nodding quickly. "Yes, I understand."

"But right now, I…" Akira stopped and his face went pink again, and suddenly Yusuke realized what Akira was thinking.

"Right now, you want…" Yusuke looked at Akira's lips, "You want this… but you don't want a relationship yet… correct? For now, you just want me to sleep with you this once…?"

Akira nodded, taking his hand away from Yusuke's shoulder. "I know it's selfish of me to ask you to do this right now, with nothing but just a promise of a relationship in return, but I need to take my mind off of what happened and honestly, you're a perfect distraction. And I know it's bothering you too, but you don't have to do it. Although, I will have you know that I do keep every promise I make."

"It's not selfish of you… I'm okay with it. Let's just…" Yusuke kissed Akira lightly on the lips then before finishing, "Let's just not talk about it right now."

Akira nodded, and time seemed to fly after that. One second, they're sitting there kissing, and suddenly in the next, Yusuke was kissing every bruise and every cut on Akira's body.

It really did help distract him from everything that happened after he was caught. He even forgot about Morgana who was probably too scared to dare to come up to the attic and possibly witness something that he could never unsee.

It was over quicker than Akira wished, but it was really to be expected. They lay there together afterwards, both nearly falling asleep, and Yusuke spoke, his voice soft and gentle.

"I wish we were soulmates," he said suddenly, and Akira looked over his shoulder at him, but he looked blurry.

"Hm? You don't think we could be?" Akira asked, and Yusuke shrugged before shaking his head after.

"Honestly, no. Not really."

Akira looked away then, his back still against Yusuke's chest, and the artist's arms around his waist, holding him close. He shrugged against him a little, and Yusuke pressed a gentle kiss to Akira's neck as he spoke.

"Well, it's a shame that we're not soulmates, 'cause if I didn't know better I'd say this feels pretty good."

Yusuke nodded a little. "I agree," he whispered a moment or two later, smiling as he realized Akira had dozed off, and he too, closed his eyes to sleep.

Morgana came up a little while later, shaking his head. He wasn't all that surprised actually. Even though he thought it might be a bit weird, he curled up at the foot of the bed to rest as well.

"These dorks…" He murmured, looking at them again, smiling a little afterwards. "Honestly, I'm just glad that both of you are okay."

Unconsciously, Yusuke held Akira just a little bit tighter.

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I hope you guys really liked this ♡