Timeline of Oneshot: June 24th, 2009 - June 25th, 2009

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"but i know in my heart of hearts, i know i'm never gonna hold you again..."

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for mj's tenth anniversary since june 25th, 2009. forever a legend - gone too soon.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

June 24, 2009.

I never meant to see him again. Never wanted to. I only passed by as a friend...

Yet he is everywhere. He's the King of Pop. And I'm just a normal, average girl.

He's on the billboards, he's on the news. He's everywhere that I know of. He's even announced This Is It not too long ago, he's probably buried knee-deep in rehearsals, as he always is.

But he never seemed to mention me. He never took me seriously. I was simply frustrated with him. He could love Lisa and Debbie so much that it became publicised. It was a known marriage, and I'm here suffering.

Why doesn't he like me the way I like him?

Why can't he just reciprocate the feelings I have for him?

He could just say that one special line that no one else knew but us. Just for me, no matter how far he was.

And all this time, I've stayed out of sight, and yet, in this moment, I start wondering why...

Why did I actually do that?

All this time, I just wanted to be with him...

The phone rings when I think about him and our relationship, nothing but a private one, that no one knew about. Perhaps it was a good thing, but he never looked for me again. Never bothered.

I pick up the phone, hiding away my tears that were threatening to fall.

"Hello?" I say... wondering who it was.

"Hey Carrie... it's me," that voice... "it's Michael."

"I never meant to see you again... and yet you're here calling me..." The tears were at it again - stronger than ever.

"Carrie... I never meant to leave you alone... you have to let me explain..." His voice seemed slurred, tired...

"You didn't even care about me! You had Lisa... you had Debbie... but I was just... left... there... you didn't even want to send me anything... I'm hurt, Michael. I'm hurt. So much so, that I don't think we can fix this. Why call me now? Why only now?"

"Something's very, very wrong... I don't know when I can see you again - so I decided to just call you... make sure you're alright. It doesn't matter if you don't forgive me, but all I need to know is that you're alive... and that's all that matters."

I didn't care about that...

"Michael... I'm sure I'm doing very well without you by my side. I chose the path that I took, and so did you - so let's just live separate lives... because if you think that leaving me is easy... it's definitely not. I'm not repeating that. Also, much luck for This Is It... speaking as a friend. Goodnight - you need sleep. It's close to your concert opening date." With that, I was on the way to placing the handset down, when I hear him for the last time that night... the last time.

"Carrie... I love you. You're forever my little P.Y.T..." I slammed the handset down, ending the call immediately - rushing to the washroom to clear the tears that had accumulated, and curled up into a ball as I tried to sleep.

♡♡♡

June 25, 2009.

I woke up thinking of him. Just wanted to see him in person... once more. The phone rings again, and I thought, maybe it's Michael...

"Hello?" I say into the phone.

"Hi Miss Collins, are you a close friend of Mr. Michael Jackson?"

"Yes... yes I am, what is the matter?"

"We would like to inform you that Mr. Jackson has just passed away... you might want to come down to UCLA to see him one last time."

Michael... he's gone?

He's gone?

I... left him on... such a bad note...

I quickly get up and change into a fresh set of clothes and run to the washroom to freshen up, leaving immediately for UCLA.

On the way... Phil Collins' song was on the radio, I Wish It Would Rain Down...

"Ooh, yes I wish it would rain down... down on me..."

"Though your hurt is gone, mine's hanging on, inside... And I know it's eating me through every night and day...

I'm just waiting on your sign, 'cause I know, I know I never meant to cause you no pain... And I realize I let you down...

But I know in my heart of hearts,
I know I'm never gonna hold you again..."

I glance at the sky as I drive, as if I realised something.

Carrie... I love you. You're forever my little P.Y.T...

I stop the car at one side as I regain my breathing in the midst of me fighting against my tears.

"Just let it rain..." The song ends as a voice replaces it, "Breaking: Michael Jackson passes away at the age of 50."

I miss you... Michael...

Why did I do this to you? Now I'm never gonna hold you again...

I found the strength to continue on driving as I reach UCLA soon enough - the Jackson family, everyone was there.

"Carrie... it's so nice to see you. Thank you for coming..." I nod my head and give Aunt Katherine a hug as she notices my arrival and said hello.

"Hi, Aunt Katherine... I'm sorry about Michael..."

"Thank you..."

♡♡♡

I don't want to mention a word about the time I stayed at the hospital...

I'm really in such emotional turmoil, the feeling's just eating at me night and day.

It's the end of the memorial service. I stand in front of Michael's grave...

And I see him.

"Hey, Carrie... it's okay... I'll be there, always. Oh, and that song by Phil you heard earlier? I like it. Tell him that for me, please. That's all the time I have, sadly. Goodbye, angel. I'll see you soon..." And he vanishes.

♡♡♡

It's been so many years... 10 years. Today's the day again, and I remember the song, the comment Michael made on it. It seems he wants to tell me... he understood me, he didn't even want forgiveness... he's literally just fine that I'm alive, going on with life.

But my world had actually died with him...

I'll see you soon...

♧End♧

I hope you enjoyed this oneshot - this isn't something I would normally do myself, but I hope it is good.

RIP MJ: 29/8/1958 - 25/6/2009
GONE TOO SOON.