Published: 20190217
Synopsis: In which (Y/n) finds comfort in her best friend.
bestfriend!j.hs
(literally almost cried writing this chapter. Also good timing because it's Sunshine's birthday in Korea!)

。。。。

Cold.

She couldn't endure it any longer. Everything was too much. It was too much.

Too much pain.

"What have you done?"

Too much grief.

"How will I live now?"

Too much darkness.

"I can't see anything."

Too much cold.

"I can't feel anything."

She sluggishly pushed the key into her apartment door and watched as it slowly opened. It hit the wall softly as she stood there to soak in the darkness. Wind from both the inside and out was blowing against her still body.

A lonely apartment.

"You always leave me here."

A lonely day.

"I missed you so much. Where have you been?"

A lonely woman.

"Why are you packing your bag?"

A lonely journey.

"Where are you going?"

(Y/n) couldn't feel anything in this darkness. The cold made her numb. She didn't want to step into the same place where he left her.

Left her to suffer.

"I thought we were okay."

Left her alone.

"Who am I going to go to now?"

Left her helpless.

"You were my anchor."

Left her for another.

"You picked her over me."

The cold nitpicked at her skin, causing her to have cherry-colored cheeks and nose. Her oversized sweater and fluffy (f/c) scarf weren't enough to keep out the freezing weather.

To keep out the pain.

"It hurts."

To keep out those thoughts.

"Maybe I wasn't good enough?"

To keep out the self-deprecation.

"I didn't put more effort in my appearance."

To keep him out.

"Why are you stuck in my mind?"

She breathed in shakily and took a weak step inside. She could feel everything the moment she stepped in.

She could feel the silence.

She could feel the loneliness.

She could feel the agony.

She could feel everything.

(Y/n) wanted it to be quiet. She didn't want to feel anything anymore, dreading of being hurt again.

No more feelings.

No more pain.

No more cold.

(Y/n) hated him. For doing this to her and making her feel this way. She presented him everything and he didn't reciprocate her feelings. She loathed him for it when in truth, her heart ached. Her heart ached for him even after being beaten, bruised, and cut by him. Her heart was in his chokehold and as much as it stung, she couldn't get out of it.

She was sick of it.

Of him.

Being in her mind constantly.

(Y/n) and Namjoon had been together for two years. They were content - or so she thought. She assumed the position of being the caring girlfriend as he was a stressed, intelligent college student. They graduated together a year ago and he pursued a career in business. She majored in marine biology so she could get a job with the sea animals. She knew how much Namjoon loved sea animals, especially crabs. (Y/n) imagined a life with him, living together on the beach and finding seashells and crabs.

But it was a simple dream.

That would never come true.

(Y/n) wouldn't touch the warm sand under her toes or the bright sun kissing her face. She wouldn't be in the warmth of his arms in a hammock while observing the stars. She wouldn't have deep conversations about happiness and sadness with him. She wouldn't rub his shoulders as he hunched over his desk. She wouldn't feel his soft touches and kisses anymore. She wouldn't burst into laughter at everything he breaks and freaks out about.

Those moments that could've happened were snatched away from her. She didn't think she would be in this position.

Feeling emptiness.

Blank.

Alone.

Cold.

(Y/n) finally snapped out of her thoughts and closed the front door quietly. It shut with a soft click and (Y/n) was left in obscurity. She turned on the kitchen light and it illuminated most of the two bedroom apartment. It felt like it hadn't been touched for years when in reality it's been two weeks.

A couple of weeks ago, she had her heart broken by the man she loved with all her heart and soul.

A couple of weeks ago, her whole world went crashing down into a hole and she was left to fall into despair and agony with no cushion at the bottom.

She cut off all connections with everyone and everything. She didn't want them questioning her or saying how they 'told her so.' (Y/n) set down her bag on the barstool and took out her phone from her pocket. She stared at it for a minute before breathing in and turning it on. Her screen lit up and the company logo appeared, making her eyes blink. In a matter of minutes, the phone connected to the wifi and hundreds of notifications appeared. The recent ones made her eyes water, even though she thought she was out of tears.

(Y/n)'s Hope ♡: (Y/n)?

(Y/n)'s Hope ♡: where are you?

(Y/n)'s Hope ♡: (Y/n), I know everything hurts right now. But let me come to see you and comfort you.

(Y/n)'s Hope ♡: You can't keep shutting people out.

(Y/n)'s Hope ♡: Please tell me where you are...

Hobi's Hope ♡: ...

Hobi's Hope ♡: Apartment.

(Y/n)'s Hope ♡: I'm coming rn

(Y/n) exhaled shakily and put down her phone as if it burned her. What had she done? She revealed her location after a while of being missing in action. She wanted to be alone. She wanted to suffer. She felt like she deserved it for not trying harder. She doesn't deserve someone like Hoseok. Someone who is so bright and warm while she is someone who is so dark and cold.

She ran away from the phone.

——

Soon, the door burst open and a panicked Hoseok stood at the doorway, a spare key in hand. He was breathing heavily from running all the way to upstairs to her apartment. He had just come from work, which was down the street - about a 30-minute drive. His eyes scanned the sullen apartment to see a sliver of light peek through the crack of a door. He stepped into the apartment and shut the door with a shiver. It was insanely cold in the apartment so Hoseok went to turn on the heater. He flipped it on and went straight to the light source.

Hoseok softly pushed the door which led him to a bare bedroom with a small figure sitting in the middle of it all. He looked around to see (Y/n) on the floor, slumped. With a sigh of relief, he ran towards her and engulfed her in a hug from behind. He flinched back when he touched her though and she didn't move at all.

She was freezing.

At this point, Hoseok was afraid that she would get frostbite with how cold she was. Hoseok shifted from behind her to in front of her. With warm hands, he pushed back her hair to see her face and almost burst into tears.

She was blank.

Such sullen eyes on his beautiful best friend almost made him cry out. Hoseok was now to the brink of hysterics. He hadn't seen his best friend for months and when he finally heard about (Y/n), it wasn't from her. Her mother had contacted him after weeks of (Y/N) not responding and ignoring everyone. She was worried. He was worried. Everyone was worried about her. They all knew how sensitive she was, physically and mentally.

She was broken.

Hoseok had to warm her up. He kissed (Y/n)'s face all over and held her cheeks in his hands in an attempt to try to warm her up a bit. He rubbed her shoulders and arms before rubbing circles on her back. He stroked her hair while pulling her into his arms and finally let a few tears fall.

"(Y/n)...I was so worried. I hadn't seen or heard from you for a couple of months-and I-I thought of the worst things when y-your mom called me...I j-just...please..." Hoseok cried out. He held her tightly as if she was a balloon on a windy day. He didn't want to let her go and in truth, she didn't want him to let her go.

"...I feel so alone..." She whispered and weakly wrapped her arms around Hoseok's neck. He cried out happily at the movement and pulled her onto his lap. She wasn't too lost. He could get her back. Hoseok wanted her closer. He wanted her to know she wasn't alone. He wanted her to feel his warmth.

"You're not alone anymore...I'm here, (Y/n)...I'm here..." He softly said and rocked her back and forth. He kept mumbling, 'I'm here,' as if he wanted to confirm to her that he was. The words made (Y/n) burst into tears.

She had finally broken the numb barrier around her body and heart.

"Hobi...I-I thought we were happy. I thought he was my world and me, his. I thought everything was okay. Why did he leave me? Why did he break it off? Why did he find comfort in another woman? Am I insignificant? Am I nothing in this world? Am I a mere pawn in his game-" She rambled. Her words had quickened as she spoke, to the point where she couldn't breathe.

"(Y/n), breathe...please...and it's not your fault okay? You're significant. You're something in this world. You're my world. What do I have you saved on my phone? My hope. You're my queen in our game. Now stop the nonsense of you not being good enough. He couldn't see how much of an angel you are." Hoseok answered her questions softly. He kissed her head again.

"He let you go. Now you're available to the world. You're free for people to see how great you are. You're available now, my hope." He loved her. He loved her to death. He loved Namjoon as well, despite being the reason for (Y/N) being the way she was right now. He loved both of his best friends and his heart ached when one of them would be hurt. Hoseok saw how happy (Y/N) was to be with Namjoon. Namjoon was happy at first but Hoseok assumed he lost feelings over time.

But who could ever break such a precious thing? Who had the cruel heart to tear down a girl who was on top of the world? Who had the heart to freeze the warm girl?

Kim Namjoon.

And who would repair the precious thing? Who had the kind heart to carry a girl to the top of the world? Who had the heart to warm the cold girl?

Jung Hoseok.

"My hope...please come back to your senses. You're freezing. You need to get warm. You might get sick..." He worriedly said. With a small nod, (Y/N) pushed herself up. Hoseok was quick though and he swept (Y/N) off her feet into a bridal-style lift. She didn't protest and instead, she cuddled closer to the man she called best friend.

The heater was on full blast now and warmth was beginning to spread throughout the apartment. Hoseok grabbed two fluffy, thick blankets and sat (Y/N) down on the couch in the living room. Hoseok wrapped both blankets around her in a small pile of blankets. Her once cherry face was gradually turning back to their usual (s/t) color. With a smile, he kissed her red nose and turned on some cartoons for (Y/N). He went to the kitchen to make a hot chocolate for extra warmth.

After finishing up the hot chocolate with some marshmallows and cinnamon, he set the steamy chocolate onto the living room table and kicked off his shoes. (Y/N) opened one side of the blanket and pulled Hoseok closer to her. He instantly started to cuddle her under the blankets.

"Hobi...?" (Y/N) muffled from under the pile of blankets. He hummed as a response, indicating that he was listening while he was rubbing his cheek on hers.

So much warmth.

"I can feel everything."

So much light.

"I can see everything."

So much comfort.

"I feel safe."

So much joy.

"What have you done?"

Hoseok helped her. He saw that she was falling and became her cushion. She needed this. She needed him. Hoseok was the fire that she warmed up next to. Someone who would always be there no matter what. Someone who saved her from near-death experiences.

Warm.

"Thank you for warming me up...Hobi."

"No problem...my hope."

。。。。

Edited ✔️