Rewind (Part Two)
The equally sad sequel to the first Rewind! By the way, this is in no ways chronologically organized. I'm going by ideas, and it's all going to be a defining moment and them reliving it. Such as: shooting Alexander Hamilton. Enjoy -C
When Eliza first rolls over in bed, she doesn't think much of it. Then, she realizes she hasn't bumped into any body. Her eyes open slightly to reveal an apparently empty space.
She should be content to just close her eyes and go back to sleep...But she's not. Eliza needs Alexander by her side. Whether it's a guarantee he's not cheating on her anymore or a guarantee he hasn't joined Philip, she doesn't know. She can hardly sleep alone though.
Gently, the Schuyler gets out of bed and lights a candle. She blinks away hazy memories of burning the letters as she makes her way to the one place Alexander loves more than their bedroom.
His office.
He's writing frantically. His hair is falling out of the ponytail, and his eyes are bloodshot with veins tracing towards the pupil. The quill bobbles in his hand. The world has become consumed of only him and his writing, and Eliza feels a little out of place.
Nevertheless, she will find her place. She wraps her arms around his shoulders. "Alexander, come back to sleep."
He didn't know she was there. That is abundantly obvious as he flinches. She notices him cover a sheet of paper. Who is he writing to? Who is so important in the early hours of morning?
She moves her head, and he blocks it. "I have an early meeting out of town."
"It's still dark outside," Eliza prompts. She gestures to the darkened window just in case her husband hasn't noticed. Some nights, he forgets to go to bed due to his writing. Then again, that isn't the case. He was there when she fell asleep, so he must have left.
Alexander shrugs just a little. "I know."
He turns to the paper, eyes gleaming a little. "I just need to write something down."
"Why do you write like you're running out of time?" Eliza asks, casting her gaze back in the direction of their bedroom. Alexander gently shushes her.
She closes her eyes, recalling all of the times they had this argument when they were both younger. It had been a common thread in their relationship. He works far too much for one married. "Come back to bed...That would be enough."
"I'll be back before you know I'm gone-"
"Come back to sleep," Eliza pleads. She reaches for his hands gently.
Alexander's lower lip quivers just so slightly. "This meeting's at dawn."
"Well...I'm going back to sleep." Eliza blinks at him, mentally pleading for him to stay just one last time.
He shakes his head. As Eliza goes to run back to her bedroom, curl up under the sheets, and pretend that the warmth that is Alexander isn't gone...She hears a slight cough from him. Maybe she's stupid to believe that it is about her.
"Hey."
Eliza's eyes meet Alexander's. He reaches back and presses his lips against her hand all the years ago, when he made her helpless. "Best of wives and best of women."
Later that day, Eliza holds Alexander's hand while he dies. Eliza doesn't know when the screaming turns to darkness...But suddenly, every event seems to be spiraling backwards...And everything in the world is colliding against each other until she has but one stunning image imprinted in her head.
Rewind.
She wakes in bed, a cold sweat running down her spine.
Eliza springs out of bed. Not caring if she seems too ladylike, Eliza then charges towards the office of her beloved husband. "Alexander!"
"Eliza-"
She throws herself at him, covering every inch of his skin with kisses. He's alive. He is alive. That is all Eliza needs. That has always been enough for Eliza. Why doesn't he understand that? Being alive...That would be enough for Eliza.
He freezes. "Are you okay, dearest?"
"You." A kiss on his chin. "Can't." A kiss on his cheek. "Duel." A kiss on his forehead. "Burr." A kiss on his lips.
Once again, Alexander completely freezes. He gently pushes Eliza away to stare at her. "How did you know that I'm going to duel Aaron?"
"You're going to die," Eliza stubbornly insists.
Alexander embarrassedly looks away. "I'm a good duelist, Eliza. I once challenged an entire political party to a duel."
"You also challenged James Monroe, and Aaron Burr is the reason you didn't duel," she grinds out, remembering that quite well.
Alexander stands up slightly. He wraps his arms around Eliza and her quaking body. "Let's go to bed, sweetheart."
"You better be there when I wake up," Eliza whispers.
He nods.
And he is. Alexander is there, shaking and quivering. His hands are shaking, and fat tears roll down his cheeks.
"Alexander?" Eliza whispers.
He shakes his head slightly. "I killed him."
And like that, Eliza knows that's a million times worse for Alexander. He would rather be dead rather than be the one who shot his oldest friend.
"Alexander..." Eliza opens her arms.
Once again, the world shifts around her...Back to that morning.
Eliza tries a different approach the third time. She blocks the front door with her body, and Eliza waits. She waits for her husband to stumble down the staircase, groggy and confused.
She waits.
Alexander stumbles into view, getting ready for the duel far too early. He is most likely heading to New Jersey. That's where he told her when he died in her arms.
Not again. Never again. Eliza would never wants to see that grisly, awful sight.
His eyes graze over her. "Eliza?"
"There will be no dueling this morning. Do you understand?" Eliza responds blithely, not planning to move any time soon.
He stares at his wife, unsure what is apropos for the situation. Eliza relishes the moment for taking his breath away, but she isn't quite sure how happy she is over it all.
Alexander is going to die.
Or Alexander is going to cause death.
Alexander is going to be changed no matter what occurs this night unless she refuses to let him leave!
The two of them stare at each other for a long time. Eliza isn't even sure just how long it happens to be. She just knows that neither of them are willing to leave. Neither of them will wield their point of argument. After all...It's truly a matter of life or death.
Eliza falls asleep at some point.
When she wakes up to the mew of one of her children, she knows that Alexander is gone...She didn't expect him to come back with bloodied hands once more. Aaron Burr has died once more.
Does he know the world is revolving too fast for her to change it? Does he change things to try things in Alexander's favor? How come the first time Aaron shot him, but now everything keeps changing on a whim?
She asks him if Aaron seemed off.
"No," Alexander answers darkly. "It's hard to seem off when you aren't alive anymore."
That, certainly, is not the answer that she had expected him from him.
The fourth time she searches the house desperately for his pistols. The ones that Philip used. The ones that take away both of her beloved males. How is she supposed to cope with both of them gone?
Her oldest daughter, Angelica, couldn't handle the death of Philip. Peggy is long gone.
She will not lose her husband. How could she lose him?
Alexander finds her searching for the pistols. She knows that he sees her. He questions her. All she responds is with the truth. "Where are your pistols?"
Alexander flees before Eliza even has the notion to get up and chase him down. From the safety of the window, she watches the carriage with her husband within pull away. The hot tears stream down her face, and all she can think of is the inevitable death that will occur at this duel. What did Alexander say?
Most disputes die and no one shoots.
What a lie.
Then again, Alexander has never done anything half-hearted. He has never tried his hardest and fallen flat on his face.
He arrives back while she cradles her youngest children to her. She doesn't even have to look up at him. "Alexander...Did you kill Aaron Burr in that duel?"
"Yes...I did."
"I asked you not to duel. I begged you not to duel." Eliza turns to stare at Alexander. She pleads with him with her eyes. The next time I relive this morning, just stay. You don't have to do anything. You don't even have to stay with him. Sleep with everyone you have ever met. Just stay. Please. Don't leave.
Alexander doesn't get it. He collapses on the seat away from her, and he sits there with haunted eyes and shaking hands. Is he reliving the moment that he claimed Aaron's life? Or is he...
No. That's ridiculous.
Neither of them say anything as the world changes back to her in an empty bed.
How can you be clever? How can you keep someone there?
Fifth, sixth, seventh. All prove that Eliza has no chance of getting him to say.
Eighth...She gets an idea.
The ninth time. She wants to give him no choice. He has given her absolutely no choice after all. Maybe she can do something akin to that this time. This time, she isn't going to let it happen. He'll be helpless.
She clears her throat as she marches into the room. She stands in the doorway, and Eliza crosses her arms. "I'm leaving."
"What?"
"You watch the children. I am going to Angelica's house. Do you understand, Alexander? I won't be here to watch them," Eliza declares. She has already gotten dressed. There is no denying her intentions now. She is downright determined to do it.
Alexander bites his lip. "I understand."
"Hey...Best of husbands and best of men."
She goes to Angelica in an ungodly morning.
It doesn't work. It never works.
She hears of how Aaron Burr has gotten shot, and she rushes home.
"You had to watch the children!" she wails. "Not duel!"
"Alexander Jr. did."
Eliza's eyes crinkle slightly before the tears slip out. "Helpless...We have no choice. No matter what..."
"What are you talking about?"
Eliza raises her head. "I have seen this so many times. You never change." With that, Eliza stalks off to her room before collapsing to the bed and completely breaking down and crying. Why is that still happening? Why won't it just stop?
The thirteenth time, Eliza is sure that Aaron knows what's going on.
"He shot himself?" she whispers to Alexander.
He nods. "He said no dueling or else."
"Why didn't you stop dueling then?" she responds.
Why is he still determined to fight this fight? Why can't he just lie down and completely give up? Wouldn't that be the smartest choice?
Alexander shrugs. The emptiness in his eyes seems to be getting darker...More strong every single time he sits there. "I don't know why. I just have to, Eliza. Haven't you ever had to do something?"
"Not something that is going to end in my death," Eliza murmurs.
The fourteenth time, she walks into his office and talks to him once more.
She returns to her bed.
Then, Eliza waits for Alexander to return with another haunted look in his eyes. She waits for the absolute hollowness and anger and confusion. She waits and she waits and she waits.
She didn't think he would die in her arms this time.
"Please, Alexander," she whispers, forgetting how it felt to have him die in her arms.
He reaches up, and he gently strokes her face. "Goodbye, best of wives and best of women. Adieu."
"No...Please."
Eliza waits and she waits and she waits.
The world doesn't reset itself though.
Alexander doesn't come back.
It takes awhile...But she stops wasting time on tears.
It's time to do what Alexander would have wanted. She's lucky that she had longer than expected with him.
She has to count that as a blessing, doesn't she?
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