In honor of me getting sick last weekend, I wrote a fic for you guys! It's entirely in texts between Alex and John. (and I gave it this title for the pure irony that they never actually see each other rather than text support) -C

8:28 AM

Alex: I can't believe you left me alone. Sick. With chicken pox. In the dorms.

John: Actually, no, Herc will be over in like 5 mins. and i do have classes...I have to take notes for you. Remember?

Alex: Ohhhhh yeah. Can't we just make Angelica, Eliza, and Peggy do it?

John: How sick are you that you are going to whine about this all day?

Alex: Really really really sixk. i didn't get you sick did i?

John: Your grammar just went downhill. And no. Not yet. Only people who have already had the bug are Herc, Pegs, Maria, and Aaron. They're your caretakers since their schedules just worked out like that.

John: Alex?

John: you suddenly stopped responding

Alex: HI THIS IS HERCULES. BECAUSE I HAVE NO DESIRE TO BABYSIT THE 'GROWN' MAN (CAN YOU CALL SHORT PEOPLE GROWN?!?!) I JUST TAPED MITTENS ON HIS HANDS.

John: You just...Taped mittens on his hands...? To what? Keep him from scratching his face off

Alex: No I am just not babysitting him. He'll struggle doing anything if he can't grab his keyboard. Or anything. And he can't untape the mittens with the mittens on. It's a full-proof plan. Perf

John: Holy crap you're a genius

Alex: I know. Now, we're going to watch some reality show so we can insult the people on it for being fake.

John: ...

John: that is weirdly specific. got any shows in mind?

Alex: literally show that you recorded would fit the mold

John: Did you just insult my show taste?

Alex: Yes. You have crappy taste in TV.

Alex: Go to class, John.

John: Fiiiiiine. It's not interesting without Alex. Tell him I love him.

Alex: Tell Laf we have 'plans' later ;))))

John: Bleaching my mind

Alex: But tell him.

10:40 AM

Alex: FINALLY THE TAPES HAVE GONE OFF MY HANDS! I REFUSE TO DEAL WITH THIS ANY LONGER.

Alex: But watching Dance Moms for the last two hours was worth it

Alex: Except Hercules would go way into the costumes. Be like: the sequins aren't cool enough for this number. the headpieces are way off.

Alex: I'm guessing you're in class

Alex: Ewww, look at how Hercules texted you. He's gross. Please don't let him babysit me again

Alex: NOT that I need babysitting

Alex: Hercules didn't really babysit me...Wait who's his replacement? Should I be concerned? Is it no more Dance Moms...?

Alex: crap

Alex: Maria is here now

11:40 AM

John: Have you survived your hour with Maria yet?

Alex: She's soooooo coooooool

John: Did she just give you medicine and let you go at it?

Alex: She would never! She was a responsible, mature, adult and I don't get high off cough syrup like some people.

Alex: Cough James Madison Cough

John: So what have you and Maria been doing?

Alex: Discussing you and Eliza romantically. And shipping everyone else we have ever known. She is really good at this. Like, she is a freaking matchmaker over here. I didn't even think about half of these

John: Really??? Who has Maria been all shipping?

Alex: Literally anyone in our friend group. She thinks that she and Eliza are OTP, naturally, but if she wasn't dating Eliza, she'd be dating you. And Eliza'd be dating me. And that was cute. And Laf and Herc are HIGH-KEY SHIP, but LOW-KEY Pegster and Laf might be a little cute. As well as LOW-KEY Pegster and Burrsicle.

John: Wow. Ship master

Alex: She prefers the term 'lighthouse'

John: ...

John: that

John: is

John: not

John: a

John: thing

Alex: Isn't it though? I'm too sick to think about this stuff. Imma go see if Maria can go get me some food. and water. and medicine. and everything.

John: Okay

John: I actually have to get back to class. I hope that you and Maria have more fun.

Alex: Probably. She apparently needs to get ready for a date. With Eliza.

John: Really

John: In case I was too stupid and thought Maria was just openly cheating on her girlfriend

Alex: It could be a poly thing we didn't know about

Alex: WE could be a poly thing that people don't know about

Alex: Have any secret boyfriends or girlfriends you want to share with me ;D

John: Go get medicine

John: And I will get back to class.

12:07 PM

Alex: Know you won't see this until you're out of class, but I sent you a photo of Maria all dolled up for her date.

<Image Sent>

12:41 PM

John: Maria texted that babysitting you when you were sick was successful.

Alex: Who's coming next? Peggy or Aaron? Or both? I love the two of them doing stuff like that. They're so cute together. Now I can't unship that ship. Don't tell Jenna and...Oh yeah, Peggy's single. HAHA Pegster. That is why you aren't straight.

John: I think she has a boyfriend.

Alex: ...

Alex: Really?

John: Yeah. She's always like texting him. I talked to Angelica about it and she didn't know anything about it.

Alex: That's fascinating... :0 Did she believe you?

John: She does think Peggy is hiding something. She's trying to sleuth it out right now.

Alex: How?

John: You don't question Angelica and her methods. Especially since she has been involving Eliza.

Alex: Oh Eliza's in on this too? :(

John: Yeah...What's up with all of the emojis?

John: You're texting...

John: Like...

John: Peggy

John: PEGGY DID YOU TAKE ALEX'S PHONE THAT ISN'T MORALLY SOUND

John: P E G G Y

Alex: firstly, yes. This IS Peggy. Secondly, thank you for all of the information about this whole 'sleuthing out my 'boyfriend''. Thirdly, my boyfriend isn't a real thing??? Fourthly, Alex fell asleep like the moment I walked in the door.

Alex: Oh he just stirred a little

Alex: Imma nap with him.

John: Send pictures of Alex sleeping...???

Alex: You are too strangely cute for this world.

<Image Sent>

John: You are a saint, Peggy. He's adorable.

Alex: Screenshotting and sending to myself for BLACKMAIL AND CUTENESS

Alex: And I'll delete this conversation for you so Alex doesn't realize you probably have a whole phone collection dedicated to him being cute.

John: I cannot confirm nor deny that

1:59 PM

Alex: whhhyyhy did you leetttt me sleeeep

John: Should I have forced Peggy to wake you up??

Alex: yeaeah

John: You're adorably sluggish still

Alex: nooo

John: yessss

Alex: nooooo

John: yessssssssssss

Alex: Did you know that Peggy cuddles you in your sleep? It was like sleeping next to a puppy. It was this nice way of staying warm rather than anything else. She just wrapped herself around me and giggled and breathed. The nap was nice.

John: As long as she's not making a move on MY BOYFRIEND.

Alex: Like Peggy could.

Alex: (and I wouldn't. Apparently I'm preoccupied with a boyfriend) -Peggy

John: LOL

Alex: I don't get it

John: I do

Alex: Peggy just cracked up, patted my head, and said it was a nice nap and she'll see me later. Does that mean Aaron is coming now?

John: AND THEN I AM DONE WITH CLASS! AND WE CAN HANG OUT TOGETHER! YESSSSSS

Alex: YESSSSSSS

2:30 PM

Alex: Aaron is weirdly punctual. He walks in, takes one long look at me, and he then sits down next to me. He has his homework out, and he kinda looks over to me and says something about how I'm practically drooling over the homework. Now, we're just calmly working on homework that I didn't even get assigned yet.

John: You're supposed to be getting healed up

Alex: No. Aaron said it didn't matter. It was either this or do something else that would be wrong in the end.

John: I understand that.

Alex: Aaron said he might force me to drink some kind sleeping thing to get me to shut up.

3:21 PM

John: Open the door Aaron

Aaron: Okay

3:22 PM

Aaron: You were right. The moment John went in the door, he practically leapt on Alex. The two of them are cuddling and huddling and kissing.

Peggy: Picture or it didn't happen

Aaron: Of course

<Image Sent>

Peggy: CUTE

Peggy: ANGELICA REALLY LIKES IT TOO

Peggy: AND MY BOYFRIEND

Aaron: Boyfriend...?

Peggy: Duh