9.Februar (Ich)
Inspiration: Idk, mein Kopf ist weird 💀
Kategorie: Angst, aber am Ende auch Fluff
Sprache: Englisch
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(Am Anfang werde ich ein paar meiner stärksten Ängste die ich habe aufzählen, aber keine Sorge, am Ende gibts noch ein paar Süße Dinge die ich heute gesehen habe.)
1. The Dark
It's the thing that is most likely to have me get a panic attack. Idk why, but I just can't handle that sh!t
2. Death
This one should be obvious and it's also the second thing that is most likely to make me panic. I get stomach aches fromn thinking about it, but I recently learned to handle it, so it's alright ig?
3. People looking at me
Absolutely something that would make me go crazy. My anxiety is rising so high at that, I really don't like it.
4. Failing
One thing you have to know about me: I always doubt myself. Even if I did a great job. Oh, I got a A on a test? Cool, but I'm one point away from the full score... Which was literally such a dumb mistake, like, I (for real, that was my mistake) couldn't count 1+1 together. How can you be so stupid? And in class I sometimes don't raise my hand when I have something to say, because I think it's not such an important answer the others had/have. I may have Atychiphobia, but I don't wanna make a self diagnosis, because that'd be stupid.
5. Silence
I'm not really getting a panic attack from it or something, but I just get a weird feeling when I don't hear something.
6. Not keeping my morals up
I want to live vegan. But at the same time, I also don't wanna. Does it make me a bad person, that I enjoy eating meal? I feel like that's a bad thing...
Also, I need to stop judging people so much. I hate it when people don't think they can trust me.
I want to help other people so bad, but most of them don't want help and I seriously don't get that. I, for myself, decided I want to get a therapist because I think I might need it. Psych2go said that that's a treat for intelligent people, so I guess I'm a little bit intelligent ig?
7. Other (strange) girls
No, because they genuinely scare me. I often compare myself to them and with girls I think they judge me more, than boys do. Idk, maybe because they're all just so much prettier than me?
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If you read that all so far, I once again want to thank you for being such an amazing person <3
Love y'all
And here, you get some cute things I saw today and that lightended up my mood a bit:
1. (Happened yesterday, but it was cute af so I don't care) My tennis trainer and his dog
How my trainer looked at him and cuddled with him was actually so cute. It was so lovely and adorable, I can't-
He also put a blanket on his dog, because it was getting cold in the tennis hall (?) and how he pulled on the blanket to make it comfortable for his dog, was so- argh 🥺
2. A boy and his little sister in my bus
They were literally so adorable. Her eyes were so bright and she was smiling all the time at him. They spoke in a different language, that I didn't understand, but you could clearly see that he said funny things to her to make her laugh. Also, how he hold her, so she wouldn't fall when the bus stopped- How are these people so cute?
3. Dnf
Those two are always able to make my day. Like, these edits of them are so frickin' cute. I can't stop smiling at them and sometimes they even make me tear up, because (as you can already tell) I'm a hella emotional b!tch. But, I'm not tearing up because I ship them so much or something. No, I'm tearing up, because their friendship is the best thing I've ever seen. They're platonic soulmates and you can't change my mind about that.
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Hope that cheered you a bit up, because it definitely did with me ^^
See you all again, when I'm finished with the chapter from before yesterday (7th of Febrauary). I'm like halfway finished with it, so I hope I get it ready in the next days :)
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