trust
firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.

I was once told that trust was weak.

When you trust someone, you leave yourself defenceless. 
You are now vulnerable, exposed, open. So many different words, so many different feelings.
When you trust someone, you let them become part of you.

But what that person didn't realise was that trust came naturally. You didn't really give it out on purpose, it just arrived and stepped into your door. Entered your space without you realising. 
And when they finally start thrashing around, hauling items across the room - you realise what trust did to you - but then they leave and the marks on the walls become forever. 

This. This is why trust becomes harder. 

As people grow up, they learn about trust. They start building walls. It starts with a simple door, then maybe a fence. The fence goes from wooden to metal and the door gets fixed in with locks of a hundred different kinds. Maybe the windows stay shut - maybe the curtains fall permanently. 

But doesn't it hurt you either way?
Because now I'm suffocating. 

When I first met you, trust was hard. 

It was logical, in a way. Don't trust someone fully. Don't let in too fast - they're just getting with you to get in your pants, to touch you and feel you then leave. They never actually want you. You're nothing to them. So don't give anything.

Yet, if I wanted a return, I needed to give. 

So I let out a little crack in my door. 
Nothing humongous, just a miniscule tweak. 

When the light seeped in, it was blinding. 
It had been far too long since I'd understood warmth and yet just a crack yielded the sun. 
You were the sun. You were the warmth. 

And then the crack grew bigger and bigger until you were part of my house. 
But I couldn't let you in my room. Not yet. That was too big of a request, too much of a responsibility. Don't break my heart.

Trust takes time. 
I've learnt that now. 

After all, walls don't stay up forever. The wood fades, the metals rust. 
Maybe, just maybe. 
I won't build them up when the time comes.