hey, I'm kinda back

i... i don't know, everything is wrong

i only want to cry and sleep forever, but i'm an insomniac and can't

my heart is physically hurting me and i have a headache (probably evolving into a migraine)

listening to MCR probably isn't helping, but it's all i want to listen to now

i think it's because i basically just lost my friend from first grade

she will barely talk to me unless it's to complain about getting an A- instead of an A

we used to share headphones all the time but she suddenly started to hide them so we can't

i asked if she was alright this afternoon but she said "worry about yourself" and left me alone in the hall

the last time I gave her a hug was the first day of the school year, over a month ago

we texted this evening, with her making up excuses every line.

her last text said "goodbye"

i learned that overwhelming emotions can literally break your heart, killing you

maybe that's it

maybe i deserve it

i deserve death