summary // ryan's shorter than brendon in this, and he's telling him he loves him.

~~

"you complete, absolute, utter dick."

ryan had shocked himself with the harsh tone and words he had, and he could tell that brendon was shocked too. but either way, the anger radiated off of him and kept him going.

"so you mean to tell me that the longing looks, lingering touches, sweet little kisses, everything else- they meant nothing to you!" ryan shouted loudly. his usually so delicate pale skin was now frightening and intimidating. the features etched onto the face looked so out of place, like they belonged to a stranger. like a rainbow in a thunderstorm at night. brendon had only seen this ryan a few other times, yet the face was never directed towards him.

brendon stood slack-jawed in front of ryan, and tried his hardest not to show his hurt in his expression. but he let it slip, and as soon as his face fell, it lifted ten times higher, though ryan could see the hurt in his crush's eyes.

he didn't falter though, for ryan knew that the pain of someone never loving you back is way worse than a few harsh words that you deserve for being an idiot, and leading your best friend on.

thinking of this caused another flame to ignite in ryan. his eyes held fire within, he was shaking and crying, trying his hardest not to let his angry tears fall, he clenched his fist, and let it all out.

"you know what? typical. of course. i mean, i always end up with the shitty endings. i always end up crying, i always get stuck with the hurt stirring in the pit of my chest. and i used to believe, 'maybe i deserve it.' or 'maybe things'll turn around eventually.', but i think that somewhere deep down i always knew that none of these things were true. i always knew that maybe the world hates me, maybe whoever is up there, calling the decisions just wants me to break. if you think that your life is hard brendon, think again. because compared to mine, yours is just a peachy stroll in the park. and i don't deserve this, because maybe if you just got your head out of your ass, you'd realize how terrible of a person you really fucking are."

as each word, sentence, and truth were voiced, the angry tears fell. and the thing about it was, ryan didn't even care anymore.

"you know what brendon, just get the fuck out," ryan seethed as he pointed to door.

"no, ryan."

the words from brendon finally came out. ryan had waited so long to hear something, and finally, he did.

"you think i'm going to leave you after you just said all of that? that you love me, how much your life sucks, basically how you give up? no, not at all, it was basically a plea for help, ryan," brendon spoke as calm as he could. he didn't need the beautiful boy to blow up at him again. "lay down," he spoke softly, gesturing to the large, soft bed.

and since ryan was all drained of energy, he complied without a word. he trudged slowly to the bed, laying down, getting under the covers. the taller black haired boy got under the covers with his best friend, and hugged him tightly. his heart broke at the flinch that came from the wild haired boy when the other touched him.

"ryan, i'm sorry," brendon apologized softly in ryan's hair. he hugged him to his chest, and stroked his soft hair. "i'm s- i'm so sorry." brendon choked.

"it's fine."

"no it's not," brendon started. "i led you on, though you never let me finish." ryan sighed. "i don't love you, but i like you. not just as a friend, but i really like you." brendon smiled softly at ryan when he finished. ryan was shocked and brendon thought he should do something to close his mouth.

he leaned in and pressed his lips to ryan's, and ryan immediately kissed back.

and that's when brendon knew, he would love this boy someday.

~

so, that was a rollercoaster.

but you guys should listen to the neighbourhood and chase atlantic.

well bye.

~me !!