💜

Taehyung felt exhausted. They had performed all evening and were now sitting in a follow-up interview with the always same questions whereas he wanted nothing more than to take a shower or bath even and crash in his bed, letting his facades fall that he managed to hold up so far.

He was good in pretending that he was fine. Most people thought he was too pure and couldn't help but show his emotions. And yes, he did most of the time but not because he couldn't help it. Instead he chose to show them.

In his estimation one of the things that drew people in to others was when they could see honest emotions. When they see the lucky moments but also the annoyed, tired and angry ones. When they could perfectly imagine what the other was feeling that's when the sympathy and the like for the other party started to grow.

Also people tended to show more of themselves as well when they interacted with someone who wasn't afraid to show their real self. So Taehyung mostly chose to show his feelings freely.

But, he was the perfect actor when he wanted to hide something. Only people who knew him well and watched very carefully had a chance to maybe notice something was off.

And that day he had a lot to hide. He didn't want to show his exhaustion, his tiredness and especially not his sadness to ARMYs. He loved his fans - at least most of them - and it didn't feel right to hide things from them but he wasn't able to deal with their worry, their encouragements and care they would show, their endless questions if he was alright. Because he wasn't. Not at all.

Taehyung turned his attention back to the interview when he noticed the light nudge on his leg. It was Suga who had crossed his left leg over the right one as he spoke to the interviewer and whipped his foot until it hit Taehyung's shin - as it appeared intentionally.

Curious as to why the elder did this he listened more closely to the words Yoongi spoke and realised he was talking about him. The interviewer seemed to have asked a question as to what Taehyung was doing lately when they weren't appearing on public and Suga had intercepted when there was no reaction coming from him.

That much for being a great actor... To hold the appearance upright, Taehyung smiled and added to Suga's playful scolding of him playing too loudly that it wasn't him but the maknae from the room next to his that made the noise. Of course this made Jungkook protest and the group taking sides while everyone laughed.

However Taehyung didn't miss the long stare from Jungkook after that. He also noticed the stolen glances from the other members, Jimin's tries to distract the interviewer and cameraman from Taehyung as much as possible by showing his cutest side way more than usual.

He'd slipped up. The members had noticed for sure and were now trying to help him out. The realisation made his heart heavy. Now he really just wanted to crawl in his bed and hide under the blanket.

It felt like hours when the interview was finally finished. The guys packed their things and were directed to the garage by their managers. They had three cars to split up in total. Taehyung had shared one with Namjoon when they arrived. He didn't really feel like riding back in the same constellation though. He felt as if he should apologize to the leader and he also knew Namjoon would want to talk about it, would want to help him but Taehyung couldn't talk right now.

When they arrived in the garage he saw Jimin approaching him and felt his small hand slightly grazing his arm. The touch felt soft but was as fleet as a moment. Taehyung didn't know if he was glad it was so short or if he wished it had lasted longer.

Jimin nodded to one of their cars when Taehyung looked at him, indicating he should ride it with him. They didn't have arranged spots as to who had to ride which car; they usually just got in in order as they arrived. Though they did try to not ride the car with the same member too often consecutively to avoid rumours but since they all got along there never was a problem in sharing cars.

Thanks to their random loading it was no problem now for him to take the same car with Jimin. Before he entered the vehicle he saw Jungkook hesitate over following him and enter after the 95z or to leave them be.

Taehyung knew Jungkook wanted to do something, anything. He wanted to help him but didn't have an idea how. Jungkook was adorable and Taehyung felt his heart open more for the younger. He wanted to hug him and reassure Jungkook that he was fine and that he shouldn't worry.

At the same time he feared being close to him. Being close would inevitably mean he'd let his guard down and that would lead to his emotions taking the upper hand. He didn't want to burden the younger with a mental breakdown as he knew he had already enough to deal with on his own.

Jungkook caught his gaze and waited for any sign on what to do but Taehyung didn't know himself. He just kept the stare, not moving.

Thankfully the decision was taken from them when Jin slung an arm over Jungkook's shoulder and pulled him along, saying something to him Taehyung couldn't hear. But he could imagine he told him something along the line of letting the best friends be alone, giving him time to heal and strengthen himself.

Taehyung felt guilty whenever he looked at Jin. He knew he reminded the elder of his own not even healed pain and yet he tried his best to support Taehyung.

Jungkook let himself be dragged away willingly, but looked back over his shoulder once more to make sure if it was okay with Taehyung - the elder knew that Jungkook would have come running to him if he showed any sign that he needed him. But it was alright so he just nodded gently, releasing their maknae into the care of the oldest.

Taehyung turned around as well, finally mounting the car where Jimin was already waiting for him. He slipped in beside his friend and they stayed in comfortable silence until the car started moving.

Once they were on the road, Jimin took his hand in his and leaned his head on Taehyung's shoulder, still keeping quiet otherwise. The closeness was comforting and Taehyung squeezed Jimin's hand thankfully.

Only after a while when Taehyung had relaxed and slouched against the backseat, letting his thoughts run free while thinking about nothing specific, Jimin started to speak.

"You know we are always here for you, right?" he asked softly, brushing his thumb over the back of Taehyung's hand in smoothing circles.

Taehyung kept silently staring out the window but nodded. He knew.

"Do you remember what I told you that day in the bathroom?" Jimin asked again, lifting up his head and watching him.

"I might not be able to help you, but I can become a source of strength for you." Taehyung choked out, remembering the words all too well. He craved them into his memory since they were one of the most powerful sources to his strength.

The moment Jimin had told him that Taehyung had realised he was not alone. Whatever happened, there were people holding his back, standing behind him. Even if they weren't able to help otherwise, they had him.
And he realised once more how true it was.

They protected him every time he threatened to slip up and even though they might not be able to take away his pain, they managed to evoke other feelings in him that overweight the pain or at least numbed it to a bearable level.

Yes, Taehyung was not alone in this.

He decided, he'd try to talk to the members today, share his feelings with them or at least show them how much he appreciated their care. He wasn't alone.

Taehyung squeeze Jimin's hand tightly once more and for the first time he allowed himself to cry.

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✺ ┊ ⊹
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ㅤ ㅤ˚✧

I purple you, Kim Taehyung! And I wish you all the love and strength that you need right now💜
💜You are not on your own💜