This was random, I just felt like writing it. I've had this in mind for a while and... it happened 

This is from Ro's POV

Just some random stuff

Ro hated assumptions.

She knew the snap judgments people made.

She was the tough princess, the top fighter, the one who threw away tradition and didn't hesitate to punch anyone who so much as looked at her funny. The one who colored her hair and claws and got her tattoos before anyone else; not because she was royalty, but because she earned them.

Her scars were plenty of proof that she was an able fighter, having held her own against her father.

But even though she did her best to project these same characteristics into everyone's heads, she hated that it worked.

No one really knew who she was; her dad understood her better than almost all of the people she knew, but he didn't even come close to knowing what went on inside her head.

No one truly knew her except one.

And it had to be Cad.

As her best friend- her only real friend- since birth, it was only natural that Ro and Cad shared everything with each other. Every secret, every woe, every event, major or minor, they would meet up and talk for hours.

But even Cad... even Cadfael didn't know her largest secret. The one that she was unsure about. The one that she didn't even know existed.

So when he kissed her one day in the training room, she let him. Because she loved him (or she thought she did) and the kiss was nice.

And the ones that followed after were nicer.

But maybe not for the right reason.

...

Ro squeezed her eyes shut, and Cad took her hand.

"What's wrong?" His voice had never been soft. It was usually harsh, like rocks scraping against each other, but sometimes its jagged edges smoothed for a second and his voice was soothing.

But even though she knew she was the only one who ever got to see this side of him, and he didn't let down his guard like this for anyone else... she didn't speak. She couldn't.

Instead, she twisted her head away and kept the tears from trickling down her cheeks.

Stay strong, stay hard, never bend, you are not weak, whip your feelings into shape.

Her father's voice rang in her ears, and she was grateful for the automatic hardening of her spine that his familiar words triggered. Maybe she could do this after all.

But one look at Cad's merciless, soft eyes cracked her resolve again.

"I'm sorry. I... really am, Cad. But- I realize that... we're not right for each other." Ro could hardly force the words out, and the look in Cad's eyes made her spine curve once more.

"I get it," Cad turned away bitterly. "This is about Bo, isn't it."

"No! No, I won't marry him. I... I won't-" Ro bit out, even though she knew her father would find some way to make it happen. "It's not you, I promise. And it's definitely not Bo. I just..."

"Got it," Cad spat angrily, his voice rough again.

"I'm just not attracted to you anymore-" Wrong thing to say, Ro realized, as Cad laughed bitterly.

"So it is me."

"No! It's not that you changed, it's that I changed... or more like I realized something about myself that is... different. And it means that I wasn't really attracted to you in the first place. Or maybe I was and... I don't know, and I'm so confused!" Ro buried her face in her hands, waiting for Cad to challenge her to a duel or spit out a biting insult or simply walk away.

He was dramatic like that.

But instead, his hesitant arm went around her shoulders. "What do you mean?"

"I-" she hesitated. "I prefer...girls."

The words slipped out without a thought because this was Cad, the only person she could talk to.

But as soon as she saw the look in his eyes, she regretted saying anything at all.

...

Ro wasn't sure when she realized it.

She didn't know when she was sure that she wasn't attracted to Cad anymore.

She didn't know why she didn't like Bo, when all the other females in her classes seemed to swoon over him.

Maybe it was the first time she noticed the way Saryah's body moved fluidly through the air as she stabbed her dummy through the neck.

Maybe it was when she discovered herself waiting for the kisses with Cad to be over.

Or maybe it was when her father begged her to marry Bo, and she shouted and swore and broke his possessions. 

Maybe that was when she realized she hated the idea of marrying any male, not just the arrogant Mercedir with the stony expression.

...

"Well, if it isn't our mighty princess—cowering with a bunch of worthless goblins!" Cad sneered, circling the force field that Ro, Sandor, Grizel, Lovise, and Woltzer were currently trapped in. Ro could practically hear the bitterness in his voice. "Seems fitting, doesn't it?" 

Ro almost snorted, but the other three ogres grunted and jeered. 

Still, despite her bravado, she couldn't stop the twinge of embarrassment and anger that shot through her at his words.

She studied her painted claws, not daring to look up and meet his eyes as she said, "I don't know, Cadfael. It seems much more fitting that you let the Neverseen call for you like you're their little pet. Do you do tricks for them if they toss you a treat? Is that what today is?" 

Ro refused to let her feelings out through her voice, but when she spoke his name, the charged word almost broke her.

Almost.

Cad had one of his looks on his face; the one with his eyebrow raised in superiority as he smirked. "You want to talk about pets? I hear you spend your days serving at the heels of some scrawny, worthless brat." 

He glanced over his shoulder at Keefe and his friends, and Ro casually fingered the dagger in her belt. "It's the one in the middle, isn't it? He keeps glaring at me." 

He strolled over to the forcefield, and Ro drew her dagger. He sent her a laughing look that no one else seemed to catch. "Oh yeah, it's definitely this one. Look at the way his little hands are all curled up like he wants to punch me." 

"Actually, I was thinking more about cutting off that ruby. I could keep it with the jewel I sliced out of Dimitar's ear when I beat him at sparring. And I'd be doing you a favor, 'cause, dude, that is not a good look." Keefe was trying for a haughty tone, but Ro could clearly see his shaking hands.

Part of her felt proud (not many had the courage to stand up to an ogre, especially not the breakable, cowardly elves) but most of her felt a wave of fear sweep over her. She could easily defend herself, but Keefe would be harder to protect, especially with his faked arrogance that was just making things worse.

He didn't even blink when Cadfael drew a dagger and said, "I bet Ro likes that smart mouth of yours. So maybe I should cut out your tongue." 

Ro snorted out loud this time, even as her throat seized from the way he said her name. Full of loathing and barely suppressed betrayal; as if he wasn't the one who had abandoned her.

Keefe fixed his insufferable smirk back on his face. "I'm pretty sure she'd thank you for that." 

"I would," Ro spat, masking her angry words with a veneer of nonchalance.

Cadfael gritted his teeth. It may have seemed angry to others, but Ro knew him too well to be fooled by the masked pain in his eyes. "Then maybe I should gut him, so you have to crawl home to Daddy—or your pathetic husband." 

Ah, there it was. The jealousy that marked Cad's face every time they'd spoken recently- not that she'd had much chance to speak in between his sullen grumping.

"No gutting today," Gethen cut in. "We have a different message to send." 

"And if you want your payment, I suggest you cooperate," Vespera added.

"Oh, so you are getting a treat!" Ro stood up, glaring daggers at her former friend beneath fake cheer as she clapped her hands together mockingly. "Tell me, Cad—what's the going rate for treason these days?"

 "Anything I want." He sheathed his dagger and turned back to face her. "That's the beauty of setting my own rules. But have fun sulking with your goblins."

Ro held back her growl, letting all the sadness and anger and betrayal and confusion show on her face for a split second before replacing her mask. She knew he saw it.

Because his own mask dropped, and she saw his fury and jealousy and confusion and sadness for a moment; but only one.

He knew her thoughts, and she knew his.

He was her mirror.

But he would never understand that while she loved him more than words could express (after all, who doesn't love their best friend), she wasn't meant to be used.

She was strong.

She would not break.

Not under his gaze that splintered before he turned away, and not under the screams that followed, or the heartbreak and anger and betrayal.

Not even the growls of her best friend as he fought against certain death.

Yeah so-

The last bit has the same dialogue and everything as the scene in Flashback. So that's when that was.

I mean, Ro is lesbian... she iS. There's no doubt-

So this turned out interesting. Not my best ever, but whatever-

Tell me if ya liked it!